October 18, 2024

     Emberlynn Horan never pictured herself where she was now. She laid on her side of the bed, her body facing him. Zayn Malik. He was asleep, tears stained his face from the hours of crying. She rubbed her thumb on his cheek, rubbing the last bit of wet tears that had stained his face, then she sat up, staring out the window. As Zayn's steady breathing filled the room, Emberlynn's mind raced. She felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for mourning Liam while being with Zayn. The memories of her time with Liam kept resurfacing, each one a reminder of the loss she couldn't openly grieve. She stared at the ceiling, the silence of the night amplifying her inner pain. She felt as if she couldn't grieve, he was her ex, their relationship had ended on bad terms, how could she mourn the loss of her ex when she was dating one of his best friends, even if they too have had a previous fall out, they still cared for each other deeply.
   She needed to be there for Zayn, and her brother, they didn't need to worry for her. But nothing could help the undying feeling of wanting to burst out sobbing. She was about to stand up when she felt a hand on her arm, she turned her head, Zayn, his eyes still closed but was now awake.
   "Stay," he whispered, although he more just mouthed it if anything. He turned to his side, facing her. "Please?" He opened his eyes just slightly.
   Emberlynn gave a small smile and wiped her cheek, nodding as she laid beside him, running her hand through his hair and then rubbing her thumb on his cheek. "I'm here Z." He smiled and brushed her hair behind her ear. "You can go back to sleep"
"I can't sleep," he shook his head, rubbing his face, exhaustion in his eyes. He brought his arm around her waist, holding her closely like a teddy bear almost, he was shaking, Emberlynn could feel it, but she only bit the inside of her lip, keeping herself from crying. Zayn was never really one to cuddle her in this way, but he was vulnerable, he wanted it, he wanted to be held, or he needed to hold someone, that someone was Emberlynn.
Zayn had loved Emberlynn for as long as he could remember, from the moment Niall introduced them, he had always known they were destined together, as cheesy as it was. He thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. He had refused to talk to anyone except for Emmy when Liam, his band-mate died. He couldn't be left alone, but Emberlynn was the only one he wanted around. He did text the other boys, they were hurting and Zayn didn't want to leave them in the dark. He also knew Emberlynn was hurting, but he didn't dare to bring it up, he thought it would upset her. Liam and Zayn had butted heads many times throughout the years and some moments it had been over Emberlynn, Liam had once loved Emberlynn, but their relationship had turned toxic and they had to split, but Zayn and Emberlynn's paths did cross again, they wanted to take the chance. But now Emberlynn's ex and one of Zayn's best friends was gone, that lead to the both of them fearing that the other would leave.
That wasn't the case for both anyway.
"Can I get you anything?" Emberlynn asked him, her chin in his neck as they held one another.
Zayn's inhaled, his shoulders shrugging.
"I'll get you some water," she whispered, kissing his forehead and standing up and creaking towards the kitchen, opening the cabinet and grabbed a glass, she stood for a moment, just staring off into space, her breathe quivered and she couldnt stop the tears that started to stream down her face, they wouldn't stop, she couldnt stop them, but they felt relieving, she couldnt understand why she was crying over him after everything. She'd known him for years, she was his friend before she was his girlfriend, somehow she thought them breaking up had ruined their friendship as well. Liam had gotten into stuff that changed the worlds view on him, he made poor decisions and that drove away a lot of people. But everyone mourned that 2010 boy, the boy who was thrown into fame at a young age, a boy who never failed to make anyone feel loved, a boy who could make anyone laugh, maybe that was the boy Emberlynn fell for at that young age. She had always prayed that Liam would heal and become the best person he could be, change for the better, but he never got the chance.
'Maybe it was for the better' was what she kept trying to tell herself.
It wasn't.
As she poured a glass of water, she couldnt help but think of how she thought she was the one destined to die first, how she was plagued with an incurable illness, told she wouldnt live passed the age of 18, but here she was at 29. She couldnt help but think of the 15 year old girl who rarely left the  hospital, the 15 year old girl who had met the boys for the first time in a hospital bed, because she was desperate to meet The Harry Styles before she died, who would have thought she would in fact 'despise' Harry and actually end up with the 'mysterious' Zayn Malik. If you would have told her that, she would have had a heart attack.
     All of this still brought her back.

2012

    The sterile smell of antiseptic filled the air as Emberlynn Horan lay in her hospital bed, her chest rising and falling with each labored breath. The beeping of the heart monitor was a constant reminder of the illness that had plagued her for as long as she could remember. She basically lived in the hospital, however today she was only there because she gave her parents a scare when she couldn't stop coughing to the point of not breathing. She stared out the window, watching the clouds drift by, trying to find solace in their slow, peaceful movement. She didn't think she knew peace in her whole life, she was always in and out of hospitals, now her brother was in a British band, peace didnt exist anymore.
    In fact, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and loud clamoring and a lot of talking. She turned her head to see her brother, Niall, walking in with a broad smile on his face. Behind him were his bandmates, their faces a mixture of concern and curiosity, as their talking and stumbling to get into the room stopped. Emberlynn felt like she was in fact on her death bed, and now a bunch of celebrities were coming to make one last visit. Reality was, Emberlynn had begged Niall to bring Harry in, she had the biggest crush on him since Niall started in the band. But Niall brought the entire band.
    "Hey, Em, I brought some friends to cheer you up," Niall said, his voice filled with warmth and a bit of annoyance as the boys pushed past him, as if they hadn't seen a girl before. Although, they were just shocked Niall had a sister.
    Emberlynn's eyes widened as she recognized the famous faces. Despite them being her brothers band mates, she was still shocked and fan-girled over them all. Harry, with his tousled curls and mischievous grin, stepped forward first and Emberlynn's fangirl heart nearly exploded. "Hi, Emberlynn! Heard you were the coolest Horan in the family," Harry joked, winking at her. His humor was infectious, and despite her situation, Emberlynn found herself smiling and let out the smallest of squeals.
    "Don't let Niall hear you say that," she replied, her voice weak but laced with amusement. Zayn hung back a little, his dark eyes filled with a mix of shyness and something deeper. He gave her a small, almost secretive smile, and Emberlynn felt a strange flutter in her chest.
    Liam, always the gentleman, stepped forward next. "It's great to meet you, Emberlynn. Niall talks about you all the time." Emberlynn's heart warmed at the sight of them. Despite the tubes and machines surrounding her, she felt a sense of normalcy returning, if only for a moment. As the boys chatted and joked, Emberlynn couldn't help but notice Harry's playful glances in her direction. He made her laugh with his funny face making while telling embarrassing stories of her brother; Niall swatting him, making the sterile hospital room feel a little less cold.

But she also noticed Zayn's quiet attentiveness, the way he looked at her when he thought no one else was watching. And then there was Liam, whose kind words and gentle demeanor made her feel safe.

The room was filled with laughter and light, but Emberlynn couldn't shake the feeling that there was more beneath the surface. Zayn's secret glances, Liam's protective nature, and Harry's obvious charm created a whirlwind of emotions within her. Before she had met them, her crush had always been Harry, but now she was rethinking.

As the boys continued to entertain her, Emberlynn felt a flicker of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to breathe a little easier, both literally and figuratively.
    The boys stayed for hours, filling Emberlynn's room with stories, laughter, and even a few impromptu acoustic songs. Niall's guitar strummed softly as Harry's voice filled the room, singing one of their latest hits. Emberlynn closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her, feeling a rare sense of peace.
    "Wait," Emberlynn interrupted suddenly, the boys stopped, looking confused, exchanging glances. "Theres only 4 of you, where's Louis? 4 of you isn't a band," she furrowed her eyebrows as she had realized Tommo was nowhere to be seen.
Harry snorted and looked at her, "He's off being Louis." He set his guitar to the side, putting his chin on his palm. "He ditched us for Jodie Cowell," he said in a semi mocking way.
    "But your right, 4 isnt a band, its 5 or nothing," Zayn butted in, as he took a bite of the pudding he had taken from her bed stand.
    "Jodie 'hates' Louis, has told him many times to fuck off, but Louis' a little shit and won't leave it until-" Liam started, then Louis had come in, a grin sprawled on his face.
    "I have myself a date to our concert lad," he leaned on the wall, very much proud of himself. He gave a wave to Emberlynn, "Hey Emily."
    "Its Emberlynn," Niall corrected him before Emberlynn could do it herself.
    "Isn't that what I said?"
    Niall gave an eyeroll, "How did you manage to get this date?"
    "She probably agreed only if he'd leave her alone," Harry snorted.
    "No really, I want to-" Niall sighed.
    "That's actually how it happened," Louis admitted, rubbing his neck, but his proud expression remained.
    "Knew it."
    "How about we leave Emberlynn to rest instead of talking bout Louis' girlfriend," Liam shook his head standing up, brushing his shirt straight.
    "Oh come on Payno, I walked all the way here," Louis threw his hands up in protest, a fake frown on his face.
    "You came late, thats your own fault," Liam remarked smacking the back of his head.
    "Fooking hell Payno!" Louis grabbed the back of his head pushing at Liam who just laughed pushing back, they left the room as Zayn took his time, waving goodbye to her, a shyish smile on his face, he scratched the back of his neck as he left.
    Niall stayed behind sitting on the chair beside her bed, "How are you feeling?" he asked her, in worry and concern. "Sorry about them, maybe one at a time would be enough."
    "No, no they were fine," she assured him with a smile, "I just have a question."
    "Hm?"
    "Besides Louis, are they single?" she giggled and Niall rolled his eyes pushing her head playfully.
    Maybe peace wasn't something Emberlynn knew growing up, even then, nothing matched the peace she felt when she laid eyes on Zayn, she didn't know it then, but years from then she would feel like she needed him like she needed air, like she needed her breathing mask, he was her life line, her oxygen, her everything.
He was always there, she was blind, but he made her see.

AUTHORS NOTE:

im so sorry if this is bad :') i tried

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I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I will be trying to update this more often!

xoxoxo.

~ Reggie