Whilst some students may have been looking forward to the holidays, Cassia was not.

And they were approaching fast. She only had two days now.

She still hadn't told Poppy what had happened with her father. She didn't want to. She wanted to avoid it, to pretend it didn't exist, and to not give it a second thought until she was on that platform, staring her father in the face.

But life didn't work like that.

To be perfectly honest, there hadn't been a good time to tell Poppy in the past couple of weeks. Life had been crazy, between end of year exams, Ron in the hospital wing because of his leg, and the whole situation about Sirius and Buckbeak escaping.

Her father had paid a visit to Hogwarts in that time, to talk to Dumbledore and demand answers about Buckbeak. Cassia hadn't known until Theo had said very loudly to her in the corridors. "You not going for a cosy family reunion, Cassia?"

Cassia had been so overcome with anger she had almost punched the boy, but, with Poppy's help, had settled for ignoring him instead, hoping that saying nothing spoke volumes more than fighting back did.

But she had managed to avoid Lucius, and was still now fearing what he was going to do to her when she got home. The amount of trouble she was in was enormous, between running away, getting an owl and punching her brother in the face. She didn't want to even think about what was going to happen.

But before she went thtough that, she needed advice.

And the only way Poppy was going to give her that was if she told her the truth.

She found a spare moment that day. She and Poppy hadn't been alone, just them in a room, since before the whole Sirius thing went down. Since before Cassia decided to tell her.

They were just packing their trunks, only the two of them in the dorm, but Cassia knew this was an opportunity.

Perhaps the only one she would get.

"Hey," she said to Poppy, stopping packing for a sec.

Her best friend turned to her, smiling. "Hey?"

"Um..." Cassia had no idea what she was doing. "Um... I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Poppy shrugged, continuing to pack. "Tell me."

"No, Poppy-"

Before Cassia knew it, she was crying. She bit her lip hard but tears spilled out her eyes and down her cheeks. She had kept this from Poppy for so long- how was she supposed to tell her now?

"Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa-"

Poppy stopped packing immediately, running to Cassia and holding her hands in hers.

"I'm sorry!" Cassia sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry, Poppy..."

"What do you mean, silly?" Poppy giggled slightly. "Why are you sorry?"

"No-" Cassia shook her head. Her heart was pounding and her body was shaking but she continued regardless. "No, Poppy, you don't understand-"

"What?" Poppy frowned. "Cass, what's going on?"

Cassia took a deep, shaky breath, trying to look into her best friend's eyes but failing.

"Listen," she fought to keep her voice steady- "When I came to yours last holidays, I... I didn't tell you... all the reasons... about why I left my house."

"Yeah you did," Poppy was being so fucking earnest, and it killed her, it truly did. "Your parents were being arsey, I understand."

"No, no you don't!" Cassia cried. "Y- you don't understand..."

"Cassia," Poppy said softly, reaching forward and putting a hand on either side of her face, wiping her tears away. "I understand."

"No," Cassia sobbed, taking her hands off her. "No- listen, the night I left, my parents had this dinner party, with the Notts and the Greengrasses and the Zabinis."

Poppy nodded, frowning. She hadn't heard that bit before.

"And- and at some point during dinner, Sirius Black was brought up," Cassia remembered Sophia Zabini's words in a flash.

"The first Black to be in Gryffindor, too. You know, a bit like... Cassia being the first Malfoy to be in Gryffindor."

"They- they talked about how he was the first of his family to be in Gryffindor," she said. "And then- then they likened that to me."

Poppy was silent, slightly shocked, as she listened further.

"And then my father, he- he-"

"A mistake. That is the simple answer."

"He said it was a mistake-"

"The girl clearly did something to the hat or something happened in her head during the sorting."

"That I had tricked the hat deliberately-"

"I can assure you, Sophia, that we dealt with the situation. Yes, she will be in Gryffindor for her Hogwarts life, but if the girl had been right of mind during the sorting-"

"Then he told her he had dealt with 'the situatuon', called me 'the girl'," she spat, eyes unfocused, staring off into the distance rather than at her best friend.

"What would've happened?"

"And then I asked him what would've happened," Cassia's tone changed.

"Excuse me?"

"What. Would've. Happened?"

"They- they were speechless," Cassia looked down. "No one said anything, the place was fucking silent for what felt like forever."

"D-D'you think I wouldn't have been put in Gryffindor? D'you- d'you think that I didn't think, as soon as I was sorted, about how disappointed my family was going to be?"

"And then I went off on one," she looked down, her nails pressing into her palms again, hard.

"If I can even call you that. I'm just a 'girl' to you now, aren't I? Now that I've tarnished your reputation."

"And I was yelling and I was crazy and I wanted to fucking kill somebody," Cassia said, tears in her eyes. "Because they had made it clear that I wasn't family. Not anymore."

"But I can tell you one thing. If being in Slytherin meant that I would be part of this group, or whatever it is, then I'm fucking glad the hat put me in Gryffindor."

"A- and then I said I was glad that I was put into Gryffindor," she continued. "And I stormed out."

Tears filled her eyes even more at what was coming.

"Cass..." Poppy reached a hand forward to touch her arm and squeeze it, but Cassia flapped it away.

Shaking her head, she continued.

"And then I was packing because I remembered thinking that you'd offered last summer... and I needed to get out."

She braced herself. It was coming, it was coming faster than she had anticipated, and she did not want to tell her best friend what she had been hiding from her for the best part of a year.

"But- but before I left I had one more talk with my father."

"What are you doing?"

"He- he met me at the bottom of the stairs... asked me what I was doing..."

"I'm leaving."

"Told him I was leaving," she took a deep breath. "Then he said-"

"You're a selfish, ignorant child. You had no right to say any of that tonight!"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she closed her eyes.

"He said I was selfish and ignorant, that I had no right..."

"Yes, I did."

"Tarnishing our family name as if you care for nothing! You've already made people laugh about us enough, but now you enjoy making this family out to be-"

"And I tried to explain, but he was yelling, saying I had tarnished our family's name, our reputation..."

"Family? Family? That's what you think this is? Well, I'll tell you one thing, father, this has never been a family. And I'm pretty sure I know who's fault that is."

"And then I said that this wasn't a family, and never had been," Cassia looked down. She wasn't ready, she wasn't prepared. "And I think that pushed him too far, because he was yelling and I was fighting and we had never ever clashed like this before- and I think that tipped him over the edge."

"Brat!"

The word, ricocheting around her brain and off her insides made her visibly flinch.

"Cassia..."

Poppy's soft whisper and her leaning forward comforted her a bit, but she had to get the story out first.

So she moved back.

"I- I don't remember him raising his arm," she spoke softly, sobbing silently. "I don't remember him flinging it towards me, but I can remember what it felt like."

Look at Poppy, look at Poppy, LOOK AT POPPY-

"He slapped me," she clarified. "Right across my cheek. Called me a brat too."

She remembered standing there in shock, her cheek stinging, her eyes tearing up-

"Then I told him-"

"I hate you."

"-and I left," she sighed. "I- I haven't seen him since."

Poppy was in absolute shock. In disbelief.

"And I'm sorry!" Cassia wailed, her voice breaking as it rose. "I'm so, so sorry, Poppy! I- I couldn't tell you, so I didn't tell anyone, and it got to the point where I knew you'd be mad if I told you so I hid it even further until it slipped out in front of fucking Potter a few weeks ago, and then I knew, I just knew that you'd be mad because I told him before you and I hate him yet I still did it anyw-"

She was overthinking, talking deliriously, and Poppy knew enough to know that these were the signs of a panic attack.

So she did the only thing she could think to do, which was pull Cassia into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around her best friend and squeezing gently.

And Cassia was sobbing and she was too, but not because she was angry at her best friend, but because of how much had been going on in Cassia's head, how much she had kept hidden to keep her safe and happy.

"Why are you hugging me? I don't deserve it," Cassia murmured eventually, after the sobs had slowed.

"No, no don't even fucking start," Poppy said, pulling back so she could look into her best friend's eyes. "Listen, Cassia Malfoy, I could never be made at you, okay? You're my best friend, and none of this is your fault. It's your piece of shit father that needs to be sorry."

Cassia looked at her.

"Listen," Poppy said. "When I get home, I'll tell my mum-"

"No!"

Cassia had said it hurriedly, not even pausing to think about how ludicrous she seemed.

"What?" Poppy uttered, more confused than every.

"No, Poppy, don't tell your mum," Cassia said firmly. "Because if you tell her then it'll tear my family apart-"

"I thought you just said you weren't a family, Cass-"

"No, you don't understand!" Cassia was sobbing again. "There's no evidence of this, nothing whatsoever! So if I tell someone and he doesn't get arrested..." she trailed off, not needing to continue.

If she accused her father without evidence and he wasn't convicted, her life would become a waking nightmare. No, it wasn't fair. No, she didn't want it, but there was no other choice.

"Listen to me," she grabbed Poppy's hands. "I'll be fine, okay? I'll be fine. Just- please don't tell anyone. I- I'm not ready yet."

Lies.

She wouldn't be fine.

Truth was, she had no idea what would happen to her after she got home, but whatever it was, she knew it wouldn't be good.

Poppy sighed heavily, saying. "Cass, I know you think you have to handle this alone but you don't, okay? You don't."

Cassia didn't believe her, but it was okay.

But as Poppy pulled her into another big hug, she tried to.

Eventually, Poppy spoke. "I'll let you go home," she murmured. "And I'll let you live with them. And I'll not get mad at you for not telling me. But if this happens again, Cass, you need to tell me, okay? You need to. Then we can sort it together."

Cassia nodded, murmuring a noise of assent before burrowing further into Poppy's arms.

And there, hugging her best friend and blinking tears (happy this time) out her eyes, Cassia felt the safest she had in a year.

And it was all, at the root of it, down to Poppy.

❦︎❦︎❦︎

On the last day, fear started to set in.

Next year was already destined to be different.

Professor Lupin was leaving. Snape had accidentally (on purpose) let slip that he was a werewolf at the Slytherin table and the news had travelled round the school, and outside it. The letters had then poured in from scared mothers and stupid fathers across the country, concerned for their kids' welfare.

Cassia suspected her mother's hand had written one, but she knew she would never ask.

Lupin had given Harry the Marauder's Map back, but the boy had told Cassia privately that she was free to use it.

Ah, another reason for next year being a change.

They were alright now. Her and Potter. I mean, yeah, they still argued, and yeah, they still had an underlying rivalry, but it wasn't bitter anymore, or spiteful.

So all that explained them on the last day, walking side by side through the castle.

Potter had been different ever since Cassia had told him about the slap. At first, she had thought it was pity, and had resisted the urge to snap everytime he opened his mouth around her.

But then she realised it wasn't. It wasn't pity, just... concern.

And Cassia wasn't sure how to feel about that.

So right now, as they walked downstairs, heading to the great hall, she did the only thing she thought was possible, and teased him.

"Taking one last look at your true love, Potter?" She asked, as Harry looked all around with awe on his face.

"No," he instantly objected.

Cassia raised her eyebrows.

"It's just-" Harry sighed. "This is the last time I'm going to see it. Tonight's our last night."

"True," Cassia shrugged. "But that doesn't mean it's the last time we're gonna see this stupid castle you love so much."

She was joking, but secretly, she loved it too. Hogwarts was a place where she was free, her home, and she could be herself there, without fear of judgement.

"It's not stupid," Potter rolled his eyes as they got into the entrance hall. "It's-"

"Everyone stand back or I'll take it back upstairs!"

A yell from Ron inside the hall made Harry stop, and both of them walk quickly into the hall.

"Harry! Cassia!" Neville yelled as he ran up to them. "Wherever did you get them?"

"Sorry, what?" Cassia frowned.

"Can I have a go, Harry?" Seamus demanded. "After you, of course- or Cassia- just please-"

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked, as they walked further down the hall to where a huge bunch of Gryffindors were gathered, down the end of the table.

"Oh, be quiet, the lot of you!" Poppy shouted loudly from where she was stood next to Hermione. "Let them through!"

As they fought to get through, Ron said. "I- I didn't mean to open it, Harry, Cassia- it was badly wrapped, and anyway they made me do it!"

"Did not!" Fred and George protested.

It was then that Cassia saw what they were all talking about.

A package, laid out on the table, opened up.

Inside it was two Firebolts.

"Wha-?" Cassia was speechless.

"They're Firebolts!" George clarified.

"The fastest broom in the world!" Fred added.

"For us?" Harry looked between Cassia and the Firebolts, excitement written all over his face.

"But who sent it?" Cassia frowned.

"No one knows," Poppy said with a smile.

"But these came with it," Hermione said, holding up two quills, with long feathers-

Hippogriff feathers.

Oh. Oh.

Cassia was grinning as she took her quill, but Hermione wasn't done.

"And these."

She handed Harry and Cassia each a small slip of parchment. Cassia frowned and unfolded it.

I, Sirius Black, Cassia Malfoy's uncle, give permission for her to visit Hogsmeade village on weekends

Cassia grinned from ear to ear, snatching a glance at Harry's and seeing much the same thing written on it.

That's gotta be good enough for McGonagall.

"Right, enough reading mysterious letters!" Poppy said with a grin. "Let's get you two out on these."

And they did just that.

All the Gryffindors that had been gathered round the table ran behind them as they sprinted out to the courtyard, stopping for a second there to mount the brooms.

Cassia had been expecting Potter to just take off.

But he didn't.

He looked back at her, saying with a glint in his stupid emerald eyes.

"Ready?"

Cassia took a breath, smiling.

"As I'll ever be."

But she did feel ready as she and Harry took off, going faster than she had ever gone before on a broom, feeling the breeze on her face, her hair flying behind her-

She felt ready for anything.

She knew bad things would come, of course. Hell, she knew she was facing her nightmare tomorrow.

But right now, with Potter yelling in delight beside her, doing loops and twists and turns, she felt ready.

All she could do was hope that feeling continued.