There were about two hours left till auditions were supposed to start. All the contestants, who had returned from their dorms, were gathered on the stage in a familiar huddle. Angus had come back to retrieve Aviana and the two boys from the practice room earlier, saving her from the suffering of being in the same room with an inappropriately flirty Aiden and a very quiet Zayn.

Unlike Aiden, who quite literally forced his one-sided flirtation on her, Zayn was much calmer and more collected. Aviana couldn't remember him speaking more than a handful of full sentences for the entire time they were hauled up in the practice room.

But what she did comprehend was that he was a fast learner. Half the time, he intensely stared at Aviana's moving figure with pinched eyebrows and nodded to himself in pure focus. After she showed him what exactly he needed to do with his arms, hips and legs, he confidently followed along. ( or tried his best to do so ) Aiden, on the other hand, seemingly was only there to make comments about Aviana's dancing skills and pitifully tried to get her phone number.

As time passed, Aviana could see how Zayn improved and danced more confidently than when he stepped into the room. His moves were much more accurate and maintained clearly. He carried himself through the choreography in a very precise routine.

The two had also made small talk during that time - mostly Aviana as a miserable attempt to escape Aiden's irritating want of needing Aviana's attention solely to himself.

She learned that Zayn, whose last name is Malik, was of English and Pakistani ancestry. She was genuinely thrilled to hear that, just like her, Zayn also sported south asian roots in himself. It was a relief knowing that there was at least one person in the batch of contestants whom she could relate to when it came to the topic of inheritance and upbringing. ( He understood the power a chappal holds as much as she understood of a sereppuva )

As time went by and Zayn got more comfortable with sharing about himself, he told her that he was from Bradford and had three sisters younger than him. Aviana found herself listening to him with a soft smile and a light heart. It was pleasant talking with Zayn about everything and nothing at the same time. She missed having conversations which didn't immediately demand hefty thinking and gruesome life concerns.

She was actually enjoying his company, and she could only hope Zayn did too.

But there was someone who definitely did not enjoy the company of Zayn at all.

Aiden tried to claw his way through into their conversations occasionally. Aviana guessed he was feeling rather left out by the lack of attention she was giving him. She really couldn't give a fuck, though. To his further misery, Aviana wasn't willing to hold an exchange with him that lasted for more than ten seconds. ( Trust me, she was counting ) Instead, she once again turned towards Zayn and started talking about GCSEs. ( Which they both were failing behind on, apparently )

Aviana enjoyed how Zayn didn't talk about auditions, the stress of competing - or the X-Factor, at all. He kept avoiding all kinds of topics which signified pure mental torture like he knew that's just what Aviana didn't want to talk about. Maybe he had a similar response of bitterness towards those topics which brought a migraine, and somehow, she was thankful.

Probably for the first time since she started on the X-Factor, Aviana was actually enjoying a conversation. It had only been countless 'How's it going at X-Factor?' or 'When is the next auditions?' or 'When can we see you on the TV?' directed at her by everyone who tried to talk to her. She was happy that she had to actually answer Zayn with sensible answers instead of rather lifeless 'Yeah, yeah, hm, no, next week' for the umpteenth time.

Now standing on the stage by the other contestants, Aviana and Zayn were side by side. Although her initial plan was to find Cher and stick by her for the recording, Aviana had long lost the girl in the mob of teenagers. She was probably mingling with other people she'd made friends with during the breaks. Aviana was partially relieved by the lack of Cher jumping around. Only because sometimes her over-enthusiasm and never-ending chatters scared her to an extent. Nonetheless, Zayn seemed to have no plan of leaving her side either, so they stuck to lingering around each other for their own sake.

The filming for the official material, which is what they were actually going to air on TV, was supposed to start at 4.00 in the afternoon. The auditions, however, were starting at 6.00 in the afternoon after the judges arrived. So now, it was time to pretend and make it look like they were meeting Brian - their choreographer - for the first time and doing a practice session with him on stage.

The fact that they had been practising nonstop for the most part of the day was a secret between the staff and the contestants. Aviana really didn't understand why the production team wanted to make it seem like they had only started practising at 4.00 o'clock when, in reality, the contestants had been tiring themselves since the clock struck 9.00 in the morning.

During the filming, they were expected to act like they didn't know who Brian was, who in reality had been introduced to them in the morning and had spent multiple hours practising and practising. Aviana's only assumption was that the X-Factor couldn't harm their reputation and create a scandal by disclosing to the public how they tire and drain their contestants' physical strength in an inhumane way.

This was showbiz, after all. Everything needed to be picture-perfect in the eye of the public.

"Aviana?" Zayn's quiet voice was enough to pull her out of a train of thought. She hummed as she turned to look at him. "Thank you so much for your help today" The chatter of all the people around them was almost enough to drown his voice out, but Aviana could still hear him perfectly. "If it wasn't for you or that guy - Angy or something - physically dragging me to practice, I would still be in that bathroom, going through a nervous breakdown. So, I appreciate it"

To Aviana, his words somehow sounded like a deja vu from her own experiences the day before. Maybe all of these TV show partakers were familiar with nervous breakdowns in random bathrooms. Out of every ounce of compassion she had for him ( She usually has none ), she sent a genuine smile his way.

"Don't worry about it, Zayn" She said, bringing a hand to comfortingly ( read: awkwardly as fuck ) pat his forearm. Zayn smiled at the little show of affection. "I'm happy to have helped you. I'm sure you'll ace this" She assured before looking at her wrist where her quite expensive watch was safely secured. "We still have around two more hours, and they're gonna film, like, more practice content, so you'll still have more than enough time to go over your steps"

"I heard they're teaching us a standard choreo anyway, nothing extremely hard. Hopefully, I won't suck at it. I really don't wanna embarrass myself" Zayn chuckled, making Aviana nod in agreement. It was announced that all the contestants will be taught a typical dance routine - probably to some Shakira or Lady Gaga song - in addition to the freestyle choreo they've been asked to rehearse.

Zayn suddenly shuddered next to her, his eyes vaulting off the large crowd around them. "I'm so nervous. My heart is beating like, like crazy"

If this was said by either Bexley, Yu, or anyone from her friend group, she wouldn't have spared a single glance before saying something like 'Probably because you're standing next to me' or 'What do you want me to do about it, cry?'

She stopped herself just a moment before she slipped and said something so harsh. She wouldn't like getting labelled as either rude or disrespectful in Zayn's mind. She should give herself a pat on the back for that save.

One point for Aviana for not scaring off a poor boy with her non-filtered and blunt-ass comebacks.

Instead, she let her eyes furrow in concern. Her fingers once again lifted and lightly rested over Zayn's elbow. "Do you want to get out for a second, maybe?"

She almost did a double take at the sound of her own voice sounding so - soothing? Is Aviana being comforting and not a stale ass bitch? A rare moment, truly.

Zayn shook his head. "No, it's okay, I can manage this" His lips tightened into a straight line. "I'm just scared that I'll give up last minute without even trying, y'know? After everything you've done to help me, that would be a waste of both of our time" He let out an apologetic chuckle, almost as if to sugarcoat how he had unintentionally brought up a concerning topic.

Now, Aviana was usually not a person who was capable of giving good advice and mental or physical comfort. If you are desperately seeking guidance, solace or just a normal hug, I hate to say it, but Aviana is not the person you should go to.

Unless you need advice on 'How to manipulate your parents into putting a tub in your bathroom' or 'Successfully eradicating a body after murder'. But I suppose those are not common issues people come across in their day-to-day lives. Unless - again - unless you're a fifteen-year-old south asian girl living in a brown household with strict parents and rising anger issues.

Aviana was simply a bad adviser. Sure, the intention was there, and sometimes she genuinely does want to help, but the words that come out of her mouth sound considerably more alarming all the fucking time. It was a shock to her as well. Because how in the hell would 'You can do this, I believe in you' somehow translate itself into 'Get your lazy ass up and get to work. I did not raise you this way' when saying it out loud?

Her friends were partially - and thankfully - used to this harsh way Aviana expressed concern and gave ( bad and completely nonpractical ) advice. But to a total stranger, it might come off as quite the nuclear explosion in their faces.

So, now, where there was a living, breathing person in front of her, looking at her with hopeful eyes, waiting for her to say something comforting in response, her brain could only muster up some random words and stutter them out.

"Uhm, yeah, I, I get it" Her eyes stood wide as she tried to form a sentence. Being put in the spotlight when you have no idea what to say and your one working brain cell is vibing to a Taylor Swift song in the corner is just not cool.

"It's okay to give up sometimes if you feel like you absolutely can't do it. But, to be honest, I think you have the potential to do it. I saw you dance. I saw how you enjoyed it, I think?" Aviana chuckled awkwardly. "So, I don't think there's any reason you'll need to give up"

If Aviana was overthinking again, she'd say that Zayn was almost falling asleep on her as she continued to ramble.

One unconscious habit of Aviana is taking way too much time to say something. Being from an outer continent where there is a different accent of English, Aviana pronounced and talked differently than other native English speakers. She didn't have an obscure British accent and was actually gifted in properly pronouncing the T in words instead of turning it into a CH. Back when she started school in the UK, she always had trouble being understood by teachers and peers because of her difference in pronunciation, which resulted in Aviana always having to repeat herself slower a second time.

This was way too aggravating for a person like Aviana, who didn't enjoy going around repeating herself after everyone who talked to her. Over the course of a couple of years, she'd discovered a somewhat of a method which prevented and saved her from constantly getting into this inconvenience.

Just talk slowly.

And now, after unconsciously following that habit for a long period of time, whenever she wanted someone to understand what she was saying, Aviana would unintendedly start talking like a goddamn sloth.

"If you feel so nervous that you feel like running out off the stage, do it, it's fine" She closed her eyes, cringing at how lagged she sounded and how this whole response sounded like a big question instead of the affirmation Zayn was seeking. And oh god, she really, really hoped Zayn would not actually follow her advice because, honestly, that would be pretty fucking embarrassing.

Zayn just chuckled. "Don't give me ideas, love"

Electric shock? That's more like it.

British people really went around throwing that word in that goddamn accent at anyone for real, huh?

Their conversation was thankfully forced to a stop when a sudden cheer rose among the contestants. The pair was standing near the back, but they didn't need any heavy explanation to understand that it was Simon and Louis Walsh who had just walked in from how the contestants started applauding and cheering.

On the very first day of Bootcamp, The X-Factor production crew and the filming staff had given them a little heads up on how the filming would get carried on through Bootcamp. There were a whole lot of papers they had to sign, restrictions and conditions they had to follow, and protocols to remember.

One of the rules they had to follow while filming was that whenever the judge board walked into a room, doing absolutely the bare minimum, the contestants had to put their hands in the air, dramatize their entrance and cheer for them.

Pretentious motherfuckers, they truly are.

Another thing they were informed of was the different types of filming that would be done throughout the show.

First, there were 'Introduction videos' where the contestant would be filmed arriving at the stadium on a fucking subway on the first day. The people who did introduction videos got the chance to share their whole life story with the entirety of the British media audience. ( Aviana doubted people at home watching gave two fucks about if Katie was a single mother of five or if Jeff worked as a construction worker in Birmingham )

To Aviana, introduction films sounded like a pain in her back. What's there to enjoy about being followed around by an entire camera crew when you're just trying to get off at the right underground station?

However, they were somehow still better than the 'Unit slash Solo videos' Also known as the 'Attention Seeker cam', it was where a group or one single contestant were expected to take part in a very dramatic filming. Selected contestants were given a scene where they caused an unnecessary scene mid-filming and forced a crisis situation. Then the judges will interfere and stage consoling the child or finding a solution for it, making them look like heroes with no capes or whatever. Aviana could roll on the floor laughing at to what extent media companies go to get more audience and recognition across the world.

One of the most dramatic ( and hysterical, you'd have to agree ) Solo segments that were filmed this season was how a girl named Chloe was set up to film a shot of her arriving late to the vocal coaching session and running her mouth when the coach scolded her for it. From Aviana's perspective, Attention Seeker Cam was exceptionally fun during filming as it was mostly a contestant being forced to act according to a script way that is so embarrassing to themselves as well as the people who are watching from afar. The production team would usually come up with the most absurd and ridiculous stories so the papers had something to write about when the show got too boring.

Although it was partially hysterical to watch it all go down, Aviana still thought it was shitty to make people unwillingly follow a script that would potentially sabotage their reputation for the foreseeable future. Yet, these were the things that they all had to get used to. Although she had never understood before, Aviana now had an understanding of how the industry mainly ran on false and inaccurate information that was solely created for the pursuit of fame and stardom.

The other thing was, no matter where you were, where you went or which direction you turned, there was always a camera pointed at you, filming your every move. Nobody barely got space to breathe without it going unnoticed by the lenses focused on them. It worried Aviana sometimes ( most of the time, who are we kidding here? ) because everybody was aware of how cameramen followed contestants even when they left the room to get some water. It made her wonder if she also had been followed to the bathroom yesterday where she had her eighth breakdown of the week. She couldn't risk a picture of her being on the first page of next week's Teen Now under a huge headline saying 'Trouble In Paradise? Behind The X-Factor Curtains: Aviana's tears flow in the bathroom'

Aviana only came back to her senses when she felt a continuous poke in her forearm. "You ready?"

"What?" It took her a couple of seconds to realize that Simon and Louis Walsh had returned to their seats in the judging panel. However, Paul was now on the stage, talking to the contestants about how the rehearsing procedure would go on. "Ready for what?"

"They're gonna start now. You looked like you were zoned out. That's why I called you"

"Oh yeah, thanks, Zayn" Aviana smiled as he apologetically bowed his head at her.

After giving an overview of what would be done during the filming, Paul started off by teaching the choreo. The stage was packed with all the contestants at the same time, so it was relatively difficult to get around amid the choreo. Aviana found herself incapable of moving freely as she had already hit Zayn in the stomach multiple times and vice versa. The girl who was standing right next to her almost broke Aviana's nose when she carelessly threw her hands to the side. If Aviana was unable to compose herself for a minute there, the girl would've had a permanent mark of five fingers imprinted onto her cheek by now.

I didn't say she had rising anger issues without a reason.

After one tiring rehearsal, two five-minute water breaks, and a whole load of Paul damaging his vocal cords by screaming at everyone, filming was finally done. They were given ten minutes to prepare themselves before the auditions started. In a need of refreshing herself before facing the judges, Aviana decided to head to the washroom. After letting Zayn know that she was leaving, she made her way backstage.

The moment she turned a corner which was directed at the restrooms, her feet took an abrupt halt.

No fucking way she's dealing with this right now.

God above must really hate her that day because that would explain why she faced numerous unfortunate situations today. First, Aiden and his godforsaken grip on her soul. Secondly, she had to give a voice cut about dancing during rehearsals earlier. And now, thirdly. The two people she really despised were engrossed in a conversation in the middle of the narrow hallway which led to the X-Factor washrooms.

Just great. Just fucking great.

Swearing to every star and the engineer who made this hallway only three people wide, Aviana took a large breath. Maybe she should just turn back and get back onto the stage before one of them noticed her. But of course, just to her luck, the second she took a step back, Louis turned his massive skull to look straight at her.

Fuck. There's no backing out now.

Even if Aviana was a scaredy cat sometimes, she was never a coward. Even if she hated confrontations, she'd never chicken out. And as she stood in front of the last two people she wanted to face right now, she didn't want to be the one to run away in dread. Setting her face straight and pushing all the guts and confidence she had in herself, she stepped towards them.

The conversation between them died down long ago after Harry followed Louis' face and laid his eyes on her. As she walked towards them - her eyes set on the far end of the corridor - she saw their hands fall to their sides from where they had been entangled between them. Although she had no idea what they were doing in a dark corridor at that moment, she gave herself permission to make whatever assumptions she wanted.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she neared them. She had to keep her cool and act as if this whole ordeal wasn't bothering her in the slightest way as she squeezed past them. Harry, in his hideous maroon hoodie, pushed himself back to the cement wall as much as he could. Poor guy was holding his breath, not moving in the slightest possible way. Louis, that ass, on the other hand, did not even bother to make way. He was rigidly standing right where he was like he was a fucking tree planted on the ground from seeds shat out by a crow.

Solely out of spite and bitchiness, as Aviana passed between them, she didn't forget to bump into him as hard as she could before brushing against him forcefully. As she strode away from them, Aviana wished Louis felt that in his insides.

Hopefully, she made a clear statement with that painful exchange.

Aviana did not stop even for a second until she pushed past the door of the girls' washroom and let it securely close behind her. Only then was she able to let down a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

Harry and Louis. Two ghosts of her past.

Past. It rang through her mind. They were in her past. She wanted to know what wrongdoing she'd done for them to keep showing up wherever she went like bloodhounds following their prey. They were supposed to stay in the past. She didn't want them in her present, haunting her from an arm away, bringing back memories from an age she had spent months trying to forget. The last thing she wanted right now - when she was finally taking mere steps towards her dream - was for wraiths from her unrecallable past to stand in her way.

Because although she was able to brush past them without a scratch in a narrow corridor, it would be much harder to simply graze past them without breaking if it was before her dream of eternity.

I know I said I was gonna update like two nights ago but sweets I had to go to the hospital cause I caught a flue out of nowhere. So incredibly sorry for the late late chapter that was due for a long time, I know, I know

hope you guys enjoyed this one <3 It's more like a filler chapter to get back on track but I still wrote it with my heart. Can't wait to get back to all the comments you've left me while I was gone!

I adore you guys so much. Thank you for always showing love to SIX no matter what <3

Love, always

- Esa ❤️