TWO DAYS LATER, the little family sat together at the table like every morning and had breakfast. In front of Abel was a bowl of cereal, the only thing he ate in the morning, while Thommy was the opposite and mainly only wanted fruit and jam toast for breakfast, his plate already half empty.

It was the simple moments that brought a smile to Jade's lips. The belly laughs and giggles of her boys when Jax was messing around with them; definitely the most beautiful sound in the world. For a moment she even forgot that today was already Friday and Olivia would be there when she got back from work.

Jax was just ruffling Abel's hair again after he kept pretending to steal his nose, the same with Thommy. "Okay, enough of the nonsense. Mommy and I wanted to talk to you."

Abel's giggle slowly faded, then he wrinkled his little nose curiously. "What about? Are Thommy and I in trouble?"

"No baby", Jade assured the almost four-year-old with a warm smile and reached out to gently pinch his cheek. "Daddy and I have a little vacation plannedᅳ and you need to help us choose where to go."

Thommy was all ears now, still nibbling on his banana while he called out excitedly. "Are we leaving today?"

Jax chuckled, running his large hand over Thommy's blonde hair. "No buddy, it's still goin' to take a while. Mommy has to work for another week before she gets a few days off and I also have to get a few things done before we can go."

The three-year-old's eyes widened theatrically. "It's still going to take sooo long!"

Jax let out a small laugh. "You'll survive, buddy."

"Thommy!" Abel climbed down from his chair, walked past Jax' and Thomas' so he could sit down directly on the last free chair next to his brother. "We can already pick out all the things we wanna take with us."

"You already have a plan, huh?", Jade said with a shake of her head and a soft laugh before she noticed Jax' gaze on her, meeting his blue eyes a moment later.

A smile crossed her face as she saw the pure admiration and love in his gaze, making her almost blush. He had been mostly at home for the last two days, trying to spend as much time as possible with the boys and her, as if he knew that was exactly what she needed most right nowᅳ his support.

The Cooper woman wasn't doing well mentally, feeling drained and anxious about their future with Tara in the picture all the time. Most nights she couldn't sleep, it was more a tossing and turning until she fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

She wanted to form a bond with Olivia so badᅳ for Jax; but she couldn't and that frustrated the hell out of her.

After Jax slid his hand across the table to take hers in his, he whistled through his fingers to get his boys' attention again. "So, where do we want to go? Beach, woods or big city?"

"I wanna go to the woods", Thommy said with his childlike enthusiasm, a huge smile forming on his jam-covered mouth. "Because..because..I wanna see bears!"

"Bears?" Jax asked with a chuckle, sharing an amused look with his Old Lady. "And what do we do if they attack us?"

"You fight them, daddy", Abel chimed in, his voice an enthusiastic chirp before he shoved another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "And I'll help you!"

"Me too", Thommy nodded eagerly, kicking his short legs under the table while making a roar-like sound. "The bears don't stand a chance!"

Jax couldn't bite back a lighthearted laugh. "Well then, sounds like nothing can go wrong now."

"Jesus, I wanna enjoy my vacation, not fight bears", Jade snorted a laugh, leaning back without letting go of Jax' hand. "But I think a few days in the woods sounds good, we already were at the beach last time", she hummed, satisfied with her boys' decision. "Maybe something like glamping, because I'm way too paranoid to just sleep in a tent in the middle of the woods", the brunette added with a crooked grin.

"You think I can't protect my own Old Lady?" Jax shot her a look, snorting in mock offense, before flashing her the most charming smile a moment later, causing her to roll her eyes at him with that perfect laugh of hers. "But okay, I'm in. We'll figure somethin' out, babe."

ᅳ

JADE STEPPED OUT OF THE SHOWER, quickly wrapping a towel around her body so she wouldn't get cold. For a moment, she listened to the voices and laughter coming from downstairs, Jax playing with the boys while Olivia was probably still sitting on her blanket watching all the fun.

Sighing, Jade wiped her hand over the fogged mirror so she could take a look at herself, hating the sight at the moment. There was no life left in her eyes, at least not when she was alone for a moment. Thin lines formed on her forehead as she furrowed her eyebrows, her lips pressed tightly together.

No, that was enough self-pity. Shaking her head, she reached for her body lotion and applied it to her arms. Her hair was quickly blow-dried and fell freshly washed over her shoulders just about ten minutes later. Since it was almost dinner time, she just slipped into a pair of black leggings, fuzzy socks and an white, oversized shirt of Jax', which she pulled out of his drawer.

Her eyebrows furrowed when she spotted a large envelope. Normally she would never rummage through Jax' things, she trusted that he had no secrets from her. But her fingers itched and her curiosity was piqued.

The brunette quickly pulled on the shirt and hesitated for a moment, the envelope already in her hand.

No, she couldn't do that, as much as she wanted to. Maybe they were just unimportant documents that belonged to the club or TM.

Jade shook off any other thoughts that Jax might have secrets and closed the drawer after putting the envelope back. It was better that way. But she would still talk to him about it as soon as the kids were in bed.

When she got downstairs, her smile was back on her lips, as if everything was fine, as if she wasn't falling apart inside. "Sorry that it took a little longer, but I really needed that shower."

"It's okay, darlin'. You've had a long day at work." Jax patted the floor next to him, his expression a mixture of understanding and concern. "The boys wanted to play a board game before dinner."

"This one, mommy." Thomas got his favorite game out of the cupboard under the TV and waddled over to the coffee table. "Can we play that?"

"Yes, please!" Abel, who was still sitting next to Olivia, got immediately excited about the game. With a smile, he tickled his little sister's belly again before helping Thommy set up the game.

"Sure, you know I love the game too. I always win at it", she winked at her sons, an amused glimmer in her eyes as the boys gasped.

"Not this time, mommy", Thommy chirped sweetly and turned back to the game in front of him.

Jade just chuckled before she sat down on the floor next to Jax and leaned against the couch just like he did, placing herself in his arm, which he immediately wrapped around her. A soft sigh escaped her throat as his fingertips danced up and down her arm, his touch so gentle that it gave her goosebumps.

"Jax?", she asked quietly, her curiosity too great to wait until the boys were in bed.

"Hm?" Jax looked down at the brunette, smiling slightly as he studied her beautiful face.

"I just grabbed a shirt from your dresser and, uhᅳ", she could already feel Jax' muscles tensing, a sigh leaving his lips. His reaction confirmed that he knew exactly what she was talking about. "I didn't open the envelope, don't worry. But I'd like to know what's in it, Jax; no secrets, you promised me that when we got back together."

"I know, and I wanted to talk to you about it, really. But you finally seemed to be feeling a little better in the last two days", he explained calmly, lowering his voice so only Jade could hear him. "Tara showed up at the garage two days ago, trying to get Ma back on her side."

"Tara was at the clubhouse?!" Jade asked, her voice a soft hiss. The boys didn't hear her, but Olivia flinched briefly at the sharp tone and looked up at the adults with wide eyes. "Jesus Jax, don't you think that's something I should know?"

"Look babe, I'm already worried about you, okay? This shit..all of this is my fault", he countered firmly, genuine concern in his tone. As Olivia crawled to him and tried to pull herself up, he placed the girl on his lap and exhaled loudly. "Anyway, Gemma mentioned something that got me thinking."

"I'm sorry I can't keep pretending everything's okay anymore", the brunette spat back, her jaw clenched while she instinctively held her breath as Olivia smiled at her.

It was moments like these that destroyed Jade. The little girl was innocent, the last person who should suffer from this situation.

Jade smiled back, even if it seemed strained, before she looked at Jax again. The remorse in his eyes, along with the concern, drew a sigh from the brunette. "I'm sorry, I'm just overwhelmed with the whole situation. What did Gemma mention that got you thinking?"

"We can start", Abel and Thomas called in unison, followed by their giggles.

"We talk later, okay?" Jax told his Old Lady, sighing as Jade slipped away from him a little, definitely not enthusiastic. But this was something he wanted to discuss with her alone, without the kids around. "I'm sorry, babe, about the whole situation. But maybe there will be a change soon."

Jade, who was now sitting in front of the coffee table, just smiled sadly. "I don't know if a change would help much, Jax."

"Babe pleaseᅳ", Jax almost pleaded as Jade turned away and gave her attention to the boys. He just wanted to help her, but he had no idea how.

It sounded harsh, heartless maybe even, but a part of him wished that Olivia wasn't his, that all the problems would stop, that Tara would disappear from their lives again.

On the other hand, he had known the girl on his lap for three months now, and every time she smiled at him his heart ached, a bond already formed. It would hit him hard if he found out that Olivia wasn't his kid after all, because he already loved that little girlᅳ and he would make Tara pay for it.

ᅳ

THE EVENING WAS slowly drawing to a close. Dinner was done, the house was clean, and Abel and Thomas were watching a movie, snuggled up on the couch. Jax and Jade were usually there, taking advantage of every moment they could have with their boys.

But Jade had been lost in thought the whole time. So Jax had decided not to wait any longer with telling her about the paternity test.

Which was why the two of them were now sitting in the kitchen, across from each other, while Olivia sat on the table, Jax' arm always close so she wouldn't fall. "I was serious earlier, that things might change soon. In the envelope.."

Jax paused briefly, sorting out his thoughts as he rubbed his face, a bitter laugh rattling through his chest. "There's a paternity test in there. I planned on doing it this weekend."

"What? But why?" Jade leaned a little over the table, visibly confused. Since she had found the envelope she had no idea what to expect, but she had definitely not expected this. "You already did one, even at St. Thomas. Why another one?"

"Right, we only did one where Tara wanted it done", Jax sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Mom doesn't trust her, and she's pretty sure Liv isn't my daughter."

Jade's face fell, her lips parted as she studied Jax for a moment. "But..that doesn't make sense. Why would Tara do this? She wanted out of Charming, away from the club."

"That's exactly what I said. Tara would be the first to leave if she had the chance", Jax said, the laugh that followed humorless. "But my gut feeling tells me I should listen to my mom's speculations."

Silence stretched between them, especially because Jade needed to let all of this sink in first. Sure, she knew Tara, how snooty, arrogant and judgmental the former doctor could be. But this? Would she really be capable of pushing a child on a man that wasn't his just to get revenge?

Now she was the one who was worried about Jax, her scrutinizing gaze scanning the man sitting across from her. It hurt him, she could tell. The way he looked at Olivia, the love he already felt for the girlᅳ he didn't want to lose her.

Jade's heart ached at the sight of Jax suffering, and only then did she realize how important Olivia already was to him, how much he was already attached to her; how close the bond between the two of them already was. The brunette knew she didn't have to feel bad, but she did. All he had needed from her was some support, and she hadn't been able to give him thatᅳ because she couldn't handle the fact that Olivia was Tara's daughter.

"Jax, Iᅳ", Jade began, but no words could ever express how sorry she was if Olivia wasn't his. "I'm sorry. So so sorry. And..", she shook her head, lowering her gaze. "I hope Tara isn't that cold-hearted and there really is some truth to Gemma's suspicions."

"It's justᅳ" Jax laughed again, but this time it sounded desperate, almost broken. He swallowed hard, unshed tears prickling his eyes as he ran a hand down his face. "I hate what I'm doing to you. Seeing you struggle hurts me more than you think, babe. But Livᅳ I can't imagine losing her, you know? I just want to find a way, a solution for all of us, and if Olivia isn't mine now, Iᅳ"

"Jax, stop it. You don't have to do this right now and you don't have to apologize." Completely taken aback by her boyfriend's outburst of emotion, Jade walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing soft kisses against his hair as a stiffled sob ripped through him.

From the sound of it, he had tried to bite it back, but when emotions needed to come out, sometimes there was nothing you could do. "The situation was just as hard for you, probably even harder, and I should've been there for you. I'm sorry I couldn't, baby."

"Not your fault, babe", Jax croaked, wiping the tears from his eyes with the heels of his hands as he shook his head. "I just don't want to lose you. I'm so fuckin' scared of losing you, Jade."

"You won't", Jade whispered soothingly, her own lips trembling. "I'm not going anywhere, I promised you that, no matter how hard it gets."

"And I don't want to lose her either", Jax sniffled as he closed one hand around Jade's hands that were folded in front of his chest and reached out and placed the other against Olivia's tiny cheek. "I really thought she was my daughter."

"I know, baby", Jade cooed sympathetically, her heart breaking for Jax as she heard the raw pain in his voice. "Maybe she really is your daughter, we don't know yet."

"I hope so. But at the same time I hope the opposite." Swallowing hard, Jax leaned back, right into Jade's embrace, his red-rimmed eyes resting on Olivia, who was babbling while looking back and forth between the adults. "I want you to be happy again, Jade."

"Stop saying that. I am happy, just a little..tired, emotionally", Jade whispered, pulling her arms back so she could lean against the table in front of Jax. Sighing, she ran her fingers through his blonde hair. "I have to admit, I've often wished that this was all just a dream and that I would wake up. But it is what it is and if Liv is your daughter, I'll try my best to deal with it, okay?"

"You're too good for me", Jax said with a sad smile, grabbing her hand. "I never stopped loving you, Jade, not even when I was with Tara. I put you through so much shit and you're still here, with me."

Jade swallowed softly, touched by Jax' words, as she returned the gentle squeeze of his hand with a small smile. "We are together now, and that's all that matters. Sometimes things take time."

Before Jax could answer, his phone vibrated on the table, Chibs' number flashing across the screen. "Shit, I have to take that. He wouldn't call this late if it wasn't important. Sorry babe."

"No, it's okay, answer it", Jade nodded, handing him the phone, not mad at all.

Jax nodded approvingly before answering the call. The conversation lasted less than two minutes and his expression became increasingly grim, increasingly worried.

"Fuck", the blonde cursed under his breath after hanging up, shoving the phone into his pocket. Folding his hands on top of his head, he flashed Jade an apologetic look. "I have to go, Galen called. Apparently he's not happy about my recent offer."

"Shit", Jade muttered. She knew Jax had to leave and what that meant for her. Her gaze fell onto Olivia, then wandered back to Jax. "Okay, go. I'll take care of the kids", she assured him.

"Babe, are you sure?" The guilt Jax was feeling at the moment weighed down on him, but Jade seemed genuinely okay with taking care of Olivia. "I promise I'll hurry."

He grabbed her face, claiming her lips. The kiss was quick and rough but full of gratitude and affection before he pulled away and rubbed his thumbs along her cheekbones again. "I love you, babe. Call me anytime if you need anything."

"I'll be fine, no go", she said, shooing him forward a little, but grabbed his arm again as he was about to leave the kitchen. "Just come back home to us, Jax."

The daily fear that Jax wouldn't come home one day was something she had to live with, it was part of his lifestyle. But it was Galen in particular who worried her, the Irish in general after everything Jax had told her about them and their deals.

"Always darlin'", Jax promised firmly, placed another kiss on her forehead and then hurried out of the kitchen.

Jade wouldn't be able to sleep anyway until he got home, so she slowly walked towards the table, smiling weakly as Olivia stretched out her arms. The girl was shy but still seemed to trust Jade enough to be picked up. In the last three months the brunette had been so reserved that Olivia hardly knew her.

"Well then let's see what the boys are up to, hm?", she cooed at Olivia, scooping the girl into her arms and placing her on her hip.

For the first time, she actually took a moment to just look at Olivia, to talk to her even though she wouldn't get an answer, as she made her way to the living room and then snuggled up to her sons, both of them immediately clinging to their mother.

"I think she's tired", Abel whispered, glancing briefly at his mom and Olivia, tapping his little sister's nose.

"Yeah, I think so too", Jade hummed softly as she looked down at Olivia, the girl already lying on her chest, her eyes half closed. "Then let's let her sleep."

"That's a good idea. Good night, Livy." Abel giggled softly and stroked Olivia's cheek before he, just like Thommy, concentrated on the movie again.

Jade smiled down at her boys, but her focus was now on Olivia. She gently rocked the girl on her chest and watched as she slowly drifted off to sleep. All the noises and soft snores coming from Olivia made Jade's ovaries scream for another baby.

Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to accept the girl in the future. For Jax' sake, she hoped that Tara hadn't lied about this.

word count; 3454

ᅳ

author's note; hey guys, I'd love to hear what you think so far! Also, if you're a Happy Lowman fan and haven't checked out some of my other stories, I'd really appreciate it if you could check them out. Especially GONE WITH THE SIN and DAYLIGHT, these are the ones I'm currently working on. Thank you btw for all the support on this story here, it means a lot to me! 🤎🥰