3rd Person's POV

The rest of the class came clattering in, as Ron and Hermione sat down on either side of Harry.

"You could've fried an egg on your face" said Ron. "You'd better hope Creevey doesn't meet Ginny, or they'll be starting a Harry Potter fanclub."

"Shut up," snapped Harry. The last thing he needed was for Lockhart to hear the phrase "Harry Potter fan club."

When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Neville Longbottom's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.

"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark ForceDefense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming-Smile Award- but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid ofthe Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly. Karina says ugh while putting her head down on her desk. Draco laughs.

"What's wrong love?"

She looks up at him with a raised eyebrow as if saying, you're really asking me that.

"He's a narcissist and an idiot." Draco nods at Karina's statement then laughs again when she starts to quietly bang her head on the table.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books -well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in -"

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes- start now!"

Harry looked down at his paper and read:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart 's favorite color?

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatestachievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his
ideal gift be?

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled throughthem in front of the class.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhisky!" He gave them another roguish wink.

Ron was now staring at Lockhart with an expression of disbelief on his face; Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who were sitting in front, were shaking with silent laughter. Hermione, on the other hand, was listening to Lockhart with rapt attention and gave a start when he mentioned her name.

". . . but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions - good girl! In fact," he flipped her paper over, "full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Hermione raised a trembling hand as Karina groans and rolls her eyes.

"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "Quite excellent! Take ten points forGryffindor! Mmm well this isn't good. Where is Karina Grey?"

Karina yet again rolls her eyes and lifts her hand straight into the air.

Lockhart looks over at the hand and sees a Slytherin girl. "Well well well Miss Grey it seems as if you didn't even answer a single question. Why is that?" He sits in his chair leaning his chin on his hand.

"Because I don't care." Karina says with a blank face.

Everyone except the other Slytherins, who are smirking, gasp while looking at the surprise on Lockhart's face. Harry grins a little while Ron smirks looking back and forth between the two.

"Wha-what? And why not?" Lockhart quickly stands up and walks around the desk.

"What is a narcissist fraud going to teach us? How to hold your pinky right when signing autographs?"The Slytherins chuckle along with Harry and Ron. Hermione looks like someone kicked her cat.

"I beg your pardon I am not a fraud. Come up here."

Karina storms up to Lockhart who is standing by a large, covered cage.

"Now- be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard kind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

In spite of himself, Harry leaned around his pile of books for a better look at the cage. Lockhart placed a hand on the cover. Dean and Seamus had stopped laughing now. Neville was cowering in his front row seat. And Karina still stands with a blank face and her arms crossing.

"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice. "It might provoke them."

"Right." Karina whispers as the whole class held its breath and Lockhart whips off the cover.

"Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."

Seamus Finnigan couldn't control himself. He let out a snort oflaughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.

"Yes?" He smiled at Seamus.

"Well, they're not - they're not very - dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.

"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"

The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.

"Right, then Miss Grey and Mr Finnigan," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of
them!" And he opened the cage.

It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, up-ended the waste basket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window; within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Neville was swinging from theiron chandelier in the ceiling.

"Why is it always me?" Neville says moaning.

"Come on now- round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted.

He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed,"Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk.

There was a mad rush for the door and Lockhart straightened up, as he caught sight of Harry,Ron, Hermione, Karina, and Draco who were almost at the door, and said, "Well, I'll ask you five to just nip the rest of them back into their cage."

He swept past them up the stone stairs then shut the door quickly behind him.

"Can you believe him?" roared Ron as one of the rogue pixies bit him painfully on the ear.

"Yes I literally can." Karina says immobilizing all the pixies at once with a clever Freezing Charm.

"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience," said Hermione stuffing two pixies back into their cage.

"Hands on? "said Harry, who was trying to grab a pixie dancing out of reach with its tongue out. "Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing-"

"Rubbish," said Hermione. "You've read his books- look at all those amazing things he's done -"

"He says he's done," Ron muttered.

Draco and Karina sneak away as the trio is engaged in their dispute about the idiot Professor. They laugh as they get closer to the dungeon.

"Well that was kind of fun. Don't you think?" Karina smiles while looking at Draco.

"Yes sure love." Draco grabs Karina's hand and kisses it then intertwines their fingers as they walk to the common room to meet up with their friends.

================================================================================================================================================

"This year, we train harder than ever before.... Okay, let's go and put our new theories into practice!" Wood shouted, seizing his broomstick and leading the way out of the locker rooms.

Stiff legged and still yawning, his team followed. They had been in the locker room so long that the sun was up completely now, although remnants of mist hung over the grass in the stadium. As Harry walked onto the field, he saw Ron and Hermione sitting in the stands.

"Aren't you finished yet?" called Ron incredulously.

"Haven't even started," said Harry, looking jealously at the toast and marmalade Ron and Hermione had brought out of the Great Hall.

"Wood's been teaching us new moves."

He mounted his broomstick and kicked at the ground, soaring up into the air. The cool morning air whipped his face, waking him far more effectively than Wood's long talk. It felt wonderful to be back on the Quidditch field. He soared right around the stadium at full speed,racing Fred and George.

"What's that funny clicking noise?" called Fred as they hurtled around the corner.

Harry looked into the stands. Colin was sitting in one of the highest seats, his camera raised, taking picture after picture, the sound strangely magnified in the deserted stadium.

"Look this way, Harry! This way!" he cried shrilly.

"Who's that?" said Fred.

"No idea," Harry lied, putting on a spurt of speed that took him as far away as possible from Colin.

"What's going on?" said Wood, frowning, as he skimmed through the air toward them. "Why's that first year taking pictures? I don't like it. He could be a Slytherin spy, trying to find out about our new training program."

"He's in Gryffindor," said Harry quickly.

"And the Slytherins don't need a spy, Oliver," said George.

"What makes you say that?" said Wood testily.

"Because they're here in person," said George, pointing.

Several people in green robes were walking onto the field, broomsticks in their hands.

"I don't believe it!" Wood hissed in outrage. "I booked the field for today! We'll see about this!"

Wood shot toward the ground, landing rather harder than he meant to in his anger, staggering slightly as he dismounted. Harry, Fred, and George followed.

"Flint!" Wood bellowed at the Slytherin Captain. "This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!"

Marcus Flint was even larger than Wood. He had a look of trollish cunning on his face as he replied, "Plenty of room for all of us, Wood."

Angelina, Alicia, and Katie had come over, too. There were no girls on the Slytherin team, who stood shoulder to shoulder, facing the Gryffindors, leering to a man.

"But I booked the field!" said Wood, positively spitting with rage. "I booked it!"

"Ah," said Flint. "But I've got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape. 'I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Beater and Seeker."'

"You've got a new Beater and Seeker?" said Wood, distracted. "Where?"

And from behind the six large figures before them came a seventh, smaller boy, smirking all over his pale, pointed face and the eighth, the only girl seen on the team. It was Draco Malfoy and Karina Grey.

"Aren't you Lucius Malfoy's son?" said Fred, looking at Malfoy with dislike.

The Slytherin team ignores Fred as they smirk at all the confused faces.

"Wh-what but why?" Harry stammers looking at the two younger Slytherins.

"And that's not the only thing new Potter." Draco spits out evilly.

All eight of them held out their broomsticks. Eight highly polished, brand-new handles and eight sets of fine gold lettering spelling the words Nimbus Two Thousand and One gleamed under the Gryffindors' noses in the early morning sun.

"Very latest model. Only came out last month," said Flint carelessly, flicking a speck of dust from the end of his own.

"I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. As for the old Clean sweeps," he smiled nastily at Fred and George, who were both clutching Clean sweep Fives, "sweeps the board with them."

None of the Gryffindor team could think of anything to say for a moment. Malfoy was smirking so broadly his cold eyes were reduced to slits.

"Oh, look," said Flint. "A field invasion."

Ron and Hermione were crossing the grass to see what was going on.

"What's happening?" Ron asked Harry. "Why aren't you playing? And what are they doing here?"

He was looking at Malfoy, taking in his Slytherin Quidditch robes. "I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley. And Karina's the new beater." said Malfoy, smugly while throwing his arm over Karina's shoulder.

"We've all just been admiring the brooms Draco's father bought our team." Karina says with a wide grin.

Ron gaped, open-mouthed, at the seven superb broomsticks in front of him.

"Good, aren't they?" said Malfoy smoothly. "But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Clean sweep Fives; I expect a museum would bid for them."

The Slytherin team howled with laughter. This is the first time Harry saw Karina laugh when Draco teased them about money.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in," said Hermione sharply. "They got in on pure talent."

The smug look on Malfoy's face flickered. Karina watches as Draco's eyes go from proud to sad in just a second. That's when she snaps and says the first thing that comes to mind.

"No one asked for your opinion, you fiIthy little Mudblood," Karina spits out.

Harry knew at once that Karina had said something really bad because there was an instant uproar at his words.

Flint had to dive in front of Karina to stop Angelina from jumping on her.

Alicia shrieked, "How dare you!" and Ron plunged his hand into his robes, pulled out his wand, yelling, "You'll pay for that one, Grey!" and pointed it furiously under Flint's arm at Karina's non- fear stricken face.

"Eat slugs."

A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of the wrong end of Ron's wand, hitting him in the stomach and sending him reeling backward onto the grass.

"Ron! Ron! Are you all right?" squealed Hermione. Ron opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Instead he gave an almighty belch and several slugs dribbled out of his mouth onto his lap.

The Slytherin team were paralyzed with laughter. Flint was doubled up, hanging onto his new broomstick for support. Malfoy was on all fours, banging the ground with his fist. Karina quickly covers any guilt she had on her face and smirks watching Ron throw up slugs.

Fred and George look at each other confused as they see Karina's face trn from guilt to pleasure in less than 2 seconds.

The Gryffindors were gathered around Ron, who kept belching large, glistening slugs.

Nobody seemed to want to touch him.

"We'd better get him to Hagrid's, it's nearest," said Harry to Hermione, who nodded bravely, and the pair of them pulled Ron up by the arms.

"What happened, Harry? What happened? Is he ill? But you can cure him, can't you?" Colin had run down from his seat and was now dancing alongside them as they left the field.

Ron gave a huge heave and more slugs dribbled down his front.

"Oooh," said Colin, fascinated and raising his camera. "Can you hold him still, Harry?"

"Get out of the way, Colin!" said Harry angrily. He and Hermione supported Ron out of the stadium and across the grounds toward the edge of the forest.

"Nearly there, Ron," said Hermione as the gamekeeper's cabin came into view. "You'll be all right in a minute - almost there -"

They were within twenty feet of Hagrid's house when the front door opened, but it wasn't Hagrid who emerged. Gilderoy Lockhart,wearing robes of palest mauve today, came striding out.

"Quick, behind here," Harry hissed, dragging Ron behind a nearby bush. Hermione followed, somewhat reluctantly.

"It's a simple matter if you know what you're doing!" Lockhart was saying loudly to Hagrid. "If you need help, you know where I am! I'll let you have a copy of my book. I'm surprised you haven't already got one - I'll sign one tonight and send it over. Well, good-bye!" And he strode away toward the castle.

Harry waited until Lockhart was out of sight, then pulled Ron out of the bush and up to Hagrid's front door. They knocked urgently.

Hagrid appeared at once, looking very grumpy, but his expression brightened when he saw who it was.

"Bin wonderin' when you'd come ter see me - come in, come in -thought you mighta bin Professor Lockhart back again-"

Harry and Hermione supported Ron over the threshold into the one-roomed cabin, which had an enormous bed in one corner, a fire crackling merrily in the other. Hagrid didn't seem perturbed by Ron's slug problem, which Harry hastily explained as he lowered Ron into a chair.

"Better out than in," he said cheerfully, plunking a large copper basin infront of him. "Get 'em all up, Ron. I don't think there's anything to do except wait for it to stop,"

Hermione anxiously watches Ron bend over the basin.

"That's a difficult curse to work at the best of times, but with a broken wand-"

Hagrid was bustling around making them tea. His boar hound, Fang,was slobbering over Harry.

"What did Lockhart want with you, Hagrid?" Harry asked, scratching Fang's ears.

"Givin' me advice on gettin' kelpies out of a well," growled Hagrid, moving a half-plucked rooster off his scrubbed table andsetting down the teapot.

"Like I don' know. An' bangin' on aboutsome banshee he banished. If one word of it was true, I'll eat mykettle." It was most unlike Hagrid to criticize a Hogwarts' teacher, and Harry looked at him in surprise.

Hermione, however, said in a voice somewhat higher than usual, "I think you're being a bit unfair. Professor Dumbledore obviously thought he was the best man for the job-"

"He was the on' man for the job," said Hagrid, offering them a plate of treacle fudge, while Ron coughed squelchily into his basin.

"An' I mean the on' one. Gettin' very difficult ter find anyone fer the Dark Arts job. People aren't too keen ter take it on, see. They're startin' ter think it's jinxed. No one's lasted long fer a while now. So tell me," said Hagrid, jerking his head at Ron. "Who was he tryin' ter curse?"

"Karina Grey. She called Hermione something - it must've been really bad, because everyone went wild."

"It was bad," said Ron hoarsely, emerging over the tabletop looking pale and sweaty. "Karina called her 'Mudblood,' Hagrid-"

Ron dived out of sight again as a fresh wave of slugs made their appearance. Hagrid looked outraged.

"She didn'!" he growled at Hermione.

"She did," she said.

"But I don't know what it means. I could tell it was really rude, of course-" Harry says confused.

"It's about the most insulting thing she could think of," gasped Ron, coming back up.

"Mudblood is a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born - you know, non-magic parents. There are some wizards - like Grey's and Malfoy's family - who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call pure-blood." Hermione says as Ron gives out a small burp, and a single slug fell into his outstretched hand.

He threw it into the basin and started talking, "I mean, the rest of us know it doesn't make any difference at all. Look at Neville Longbottom he's pure-blood and he can hardly stand a cauldron the right way up."

"An' they haven't invented a spell our Hermione can' do," said Hagrid proudly, making Hermione go a brilliant shade of magenta.

"It's a disgusting thing to call someone," said Ron, wiping his sweatybrow with a shaking hand.

"Dirty blood, see. Common blood. It's ridiculous. Most wizards these days are half-blood anyway. If we hadn't married Muggles we'd've died out. Well, I don' blame yeh fer tryin' ter curse her, Ron," said Hagrid loudly over the thuds of more slugs hitting the basin.

"Bu' maybe it was a good thing yer wand backfired. 'Spect Lucius Malfoy would've come marchin' up ter school if yeh'd cursed his son's friend-"

"Girlfriend." Ron and Harry say at the same time. Hagrid's eyes widen.

"Girlfriend? Yes Lucius Malfoy would've been here yesterday. Least yer not in trouble."

Harry would have pointed out that trouble didn't come much worse than having slugs pouring out of your mouth, but he couldn't.