"Are you crazy?" Jin yelled at me.

"What would have happened if Yijin had not saved you in time?" He continued yelling referring to the intern working under him.

"I am sorry. I wasn't in the right mind." I mumbled, apologetically.

He sighed, calming himself down and sitting beside me. He held my hand in the most comforting way and said, "Do you know that ever since you asked me to prepare the divorce papers, I haven't seen you crying even once? I know you are trying hard to stay strong and show that everything that is happening does not affect you but this way you are hurting yourself badly."

Annoyed that he was saying the exact things I didn't want to accept, I fought back, "Why are you acting as if you know me better than I do? I am not pretending or anything. I just don't care. I don't care about him. I don't care about our broken marriage. I don't care about what people have to say. I am just doing what I want to."

Instead of getting angry at me, he pulled me into a hug as I started sobbing. I had not realised when I had started tearing up. Maybe I had known but didn't want to accept it. Maybe Jin was right.

"I-I don't know why am I crying. I don't know how I got so sad. I did not know I had held myself back from crying for so long. It feels like I have lost myself. I feels like I don't know who I am anymore." I kept crying.

"If this was some other time I would have stopped you from crying because I hate seeing you cry. But today...I want you to cry as much as you want. I want you to take out all the sadness you have been keeping inside. I want you to feel light and happy." He said very softly. These were the times I would realise how grateful I am to have a friend like him. Despite all the nagging I have to hear from him, I would always want him to stay beside me because he was my saviour and safe place. No matter how hard the situation gets he has always been with me and I know for a fact that this is how it will be forever.

I finally gathered the strength to sit up straight and get out of his arms. I sighed and took the glass of water, Yijin has been holding for a while. I quickly gulped down the whole glass of water, almost choking myself and then got scolded by Jin again.

"Now calm down and tell me something."

"What?" I asked

"I don't understand what went wrong. You guys were so in love with each other. What happened?"

I laughed dryly, "I wish I had the answer to that question. I wish I knew what happened. I still can't believe so much has happened already. It feels as if it was yesterday when my world collapsed, when we...fell apart."

~•~

(TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM)

I tried to concentrate, ignoring all the giggles and whispers. I was trying so hard to stay calm but I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Even though they were talking among themselves, it was loud enough for me to know that they were laughing and mocking me. Mocking me for being head over heels for someone who was always out of my league. They were laughing at me for not realising that everything was a dream from which I had to wake up.

I was controlling the urge to scream and shout and tell everyone that they were wrong, that he would never do something like this to me or...would he?

Reaching home, the first thing I did was to search for him. I wanted answers to all my questions. I wanted to know whether everything I was hearing was true. I trusted him too much and no rumour can break that trust.

Even after searching for him everywhere in the house, I failed to find him. As time kept passing, my heart kept breaking and a voice in my mind kept saying this was all true. My angel had broken my heart.

Suddenly, the front door opened revealing Jeonghan. He in a tight black shirt and an equally tight back trousers, the kind of outfit he did not wear outside work or at home.

He looked up and saw me. Various emotions washed over his eyes. Happiness, Sadness, Guilt and Pity. While I stood there comprehending his behaviour. He was drunk which was clear by the way he stumbled twice while coming towards me.

When he finally reached me, he pulled me into a tight hug. Everything was quiet until he started sobbing and his warm tears started falling on my shoulder which was exposed due to the off-shoulder dress I was wearing. He was mumbling apologies and trying to explain himself but every word was going unheard by me. I was busy giving reasons to this chaos. I was eager to understand why this happened to me. Out of all people why me. Why can't I ever be happy? Why do all choices made by me go so horribly wrong? Was Jeonghan also one of those choices?

I slowly pushed him away before giving him a blank face and slamming the bedroom door in front of his eyes.

I sat down on the cold bedroom floor and broke down. I held my ears close to shut out all the banging and knocking on the door. I was so tired of facing people. I felt dirty and guilty. People had got to know so much about me that I felt naked when I faced someone. The way I felt them judging me was painful. Hearing and reading all the hurtful things was hard. Even after feeling all these, I decided to open my phone to see the article about me.

"Gosh, I always knew she was a sl*t"

"I hope Jeonghan is okay. Do you think she took his permission before getting an abortion?"

"F*ck her. I wish she d*es."

"No one should ever have to go through what our angel is going through."

"I hope he now understands his mistake."

"I could have been a better wife."

"Can't believe I once fought with haters for this couple."

Every word I read was hurting me to the core. I just wanted an end to all the trouble. So I did what I wanted to. I opened the first drawer of the nightstand and took out the bottle of sleeping pills. I emptied the whole bottle and chugged in whatever my little hand had managed to hold.

It took a few minutes for the effect to kick in. I started feeling numb, my hands and feet started feeling cold, I was having cold sweat, all noises sounded muffled and my eyelids felt heavy. I could hear a sudden loud noise coming from the direction of the bedroom door. I assumed someone had knocked down the door and judging from the voices, Seung Cheol, Jeonghan's best friend was here.

Soon, the noises got louder. I could hear feet shuffling around the room. It was hard to assume the number of people in the room because my eyes had given up. Among all the chaos, I heard Jeonghan calling my name. His voice seemed unnaturally clear when compared to the other voices. I could feel him lifting me up in his arms and shaking me a little, trying to wake me up. When I heard his broken sobs, regret kicked in. Regret of not being able to say the things I wanted to. I couldn't say sorry for causing so much trouble to him. For giving him so much pain. I was really sorry for everything I had done but I knew I was too late. I knew I wouldn't be able to say all this to him.

I opened my eyes to a boring white room. It was pretty obvious from the surrounding that I was in the hospital, alive. I did not know whether I was happy or sad about it. I could only say that I was thankful that I would get a chance to repair my broken relationship with Jeonghan. As soon as I had that thought, I heard someone coming in. I immediately closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

"You can't talk about her like that." Jeonghan said.

"Can you say that I am wrong?" I heard a male voice but it was someone I did not know.

"All she has done is cause you trouble. You had faced a lot of criticism when you both started dating, then the fans started boycotting you when you both got married, and now abortion and the sex tape." That man said.

""How dare you say things without knowing anything? The abortion was both of our decision and the other one...I don't know but what I know is that she has never caused me any trouble."

The other man sighed loudly and said, "I know you love her that is why you are trying to defend her but that won't change the fact that I had seen you crying after losing your fans."

"Let's not talk here. There is a patient." Jeonghan said, his voice was a lot more calm than before.

After a few minutes of silence, I heard the door opening and then closing. As soon as that happened, I opened my teary eyes. I felt bad. Felt bad for causing him so much trouble.For making him cry. Hearing all this, my mind changed. Instead of wanting to repair our relationship, I wanted to end it.

~•~