nine early grave

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EVANORA STILL FELT FREAKED OUT ABOUT THE CHILLS THAT WENT DOWN HER SPINE AS SOMETHING REACHED OUT FOR HER. She knew it was probably just her imagination, that she was imagining something calling out to her, a hand reaching to grasp her and pull her out of thin air and make her disappear, and it was probably just a product of lack of sleep due to school and everything else Colleen was forcing her to do whenever she had free time, but it just shook her to the core.

          Because while she wanted to chalk it up to her just being paranoid or sleep-deprived, needing a good three days long of sleep to recover and then she would be all fine and dandy and the Halloweentown that was starting not to feel like a Halloweentown would all go back to normal and that little chill she felt going down her spine with the whisper of her name would disappear, she couldn't just write off the whispers so easily.

          It scared her. As much as she hated to admit that she felt some fear in her heart, the same fear she felt when she found her mother dead in a pool of her own blood in the kitchen of her childhood home, she was scared. That voice, that chill down her spine, scared her, because it felt like it was so close to reaching her but some invisible force kept it at bay, but at the end of the day, how much could that invisible force due before it all fell apart?

          Now when she closed her eyes, instead of dreaming of soft pink wonderlands where soft lips met hers and those soft pinked lips belonged to Maggie sitting in a cotton candy tree, she saw herself staring into a mirror, so entranced, so enthralled like she had been before because it was a connection to her mother, before a hand rose quickly out of the mirror and forced her inside, locking her away and destroying the last Hathaway remaining. There were no fantasies to keep inside about a girl with kind eyes, but nightmares about her being trapped and chained and destroyed, just like her mother had been.

          She didn't want to end up like her mother, she never had, but this nightmare made her fear that even more, but in a different way. And so normally, while she would never willingly bring one of her fears to Colleen because the woman would just use it against her in a simulation she created so that Evanora could fight off her demons (real and metaphorical), she felt like it was the only choice she had.

          Well, that, or go to Marisol Vera which was most definitely not a choice, even if she wanted to go to her. She had burnt that bridge, and badly, so there was no way that Marisol was ever going to offer her help willingly again after what she had done. Don't get her wrong, Evanora doesn't regret her blowing up in the woman's face (if anything, she thought the woman had it coming and most definitely deserved it), but it just meant that she had to tell Colleen even when she had sworn to herself never to tell the whitelighter anything.

          And don't go blaming her for keeping secrets from her good-for-nothing assigned but not wanted whitelighter, Colleen was the most annoying person she had ever met and she wanted nothing to do with the woman, but she had to admit that this could be incredibly serious.

          Evanora didn't know everything about demons, she was just a teenage girl who still had to come into a lot of her magic, but she did know that some demons could reach you through dreams and make you have hallucinations, exactly what she had been having, so she worried. She was fucking terrified and maybe this was just her imagination and bringing this up to Colleen would only make the woman laugh and their already bad relationship worse, but she didn't know what else to do.

          It wasn't like she wanted to tell Colleen this, the woman certainly hadn't done anything nice enough for Evanora to actually want to talk to her willingly, but she felt like it was her only option in case this wasn't her imagination and it really was something to worry about. She was just a teenager, just Evanora the regular teenage girl who also had magic in her veins, and if this was a demon, she certainly couldn't face it by herself.

          She would need help; she would actually need a whitelighter. And, well, even if she didn't get along with Colleen, she also didn't want to die, so going to her was better than an early grave.

          Colleen was diligently cutting through a pepper when Evanora went downstairs, looking around the kitchen uneasily because maybe it wasn't the one her mother was brutally murdered in, but it was a kitchen. And when she looked at it, seeing how similar the cabinets were to the one in her old home, the placement of the bar in the middle of the room, and Colleen standing there cooking just like her mother used to do, she couldn't help but be reminded.

          Kitchens now, as silly as it sounded, make her uneasy. It was just one of those things that made Evanora Hathaway weird, as if being a witch and water bender wasn't enough. Kitchens made her uneasy, and she hated standing in them because every time she did she couldn't help but think about her mother's dead body in one.

          And it sounded silly to her, when she thought about it in her head, and when she thought about articulating it to Colleen once before, but she couldn't, because it was just too silly for her to even finish off the thought. It was silly, she was seventeen, almost grown, and here she was scared of a fucking kitchen – a type of room that everyone had in their houses.

          Evanora cleared her throat because Colleen had been ignoring her presence even though it wasn't like she was quiet coming into the room. She never was unless she was sneaking around. It would have annoyed her more if she hadn't done the same move to Colleen too many times to count.

          Clearly unimpressed, Colleen raised an eyebrow and looking up briefly. "Yes?" she asked, clearly waiting for Evanora to speak since she seemed to have placed a great amount of importance on her appearance in the kitchen.

          Evanora swallowed, feeling extremely vulnerable and uncomfortable at this because it was probably the first time that she was coming to Colleen for help. "I, um, I actually wanted to talk to you about something," she didn't make eye contact with the woman, feeling extremely out of her element.

          "Well, I would hope so since you started a conversation and clearly have something to say," Colleen said back sassily, and Evanora glared at her, wanting to stomp away and forget her intentions to ever have a proper conversation with Colleen. It seemed so fucking impossible anyway, so why was she trying?

          Nothing about their talks were ever civilized or good, they all ended up with arguments and bitter wishes towards the other, so why did she think this was a good idea? Oh, right, she didn't, but it was either this or let her fear fester quietly while a demon might potentially be reaching out toward her.

          She huffed at the whitelighter. "Obviously, yeah, I'm just trying to think about the best way to start it off, it's weird," she rolled her shoulder, flicking her hair behind her ear, seeing that Colleen looked a little bit more interested and was paying her more attention, "I don't really know how to describe it, because I'm not sure if it's a demon or just me, but I think something's trying to make a connection with me."

          Colleen frowned, and Evanora thought for a second that the woman was going to laugh at her or shake her head and call Evanora crazy, because that really did seem like a plausible thing the woman would actually do. However, surprisingly, she asked in a serious tone, "Reaching out how? Did you see a hand appear or...?"

          Evanora shook her head. "Nothing that literal. It's more like...well, it's more like I just heard someone whisper my name and it felt like they were really close to me and about to reach me when they just completely vanished, like something was holding them back like – like a barrier. And it's happened like three times now."

          She was timid about admitting that last part, because she knew that Colleen was going to raise a fit about her taking so damn long to mention something, but instead she was surprised again when Colleen nodded and set down the knife she was using to chop up the peppers for their fajitas and contemplated what she was saying.

          "A barrier? Like, a force-field around you feeling?" Colleen asked for clarification.

          Evanora hesitated before nodding. "Something like that. I don't really know how to describe it, like not a force-field around me or anything, but more like something was dragging it away and keeping it away from me."

          Colleen hummed. "Do you remember the spell we found open at your old house? The cloaking spell."

          "How can I forget? You went on so strong about how I shouldn't touch that fucking page because my mom used it for me, trying to scare me that the demon's going on a Hathaway witch hunt," Evanora recounted.

          "Yes, a cloaking spell in some cases can act like a protection spell. The cloaking could be a protection against something, like a protection spell, and if that spell makes the cloak like a barrier, this could be the very same demon that killed your mother reaching out for you, but the spell keeping it away," Colleen explained, looking at her wearily, "I mean, I can't confirm anything yet. I don't know the exact spell she used or how the spell works – all cloaking spells are a little bit different, of course – but it could be that."

          Evanora frowned. "So the demon could be reaching out for me trying to find out where I am?" she asked, "But if I know that it's coming after me, if I can hear it and almost feel it...does that mean the spell is breaking or that it's already broken?"

          Colleen shook her head. "No, the spell should still be intact if you can feel the voice being taken away from you, but I will have to ask the Elders for some more insight."

          Instantly, Evanora's eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. "No. No involvement from them, I don't want any of their help," she said forcefully.

          For the second time in the conversation, she could see the Colleen she knew well popping out and giving her a look. "Evanora, I can only do so much, you're better off if I get some of their help. After all, I can't do magic like a witch and I don't know exactly how your mother's cloaking spell would work, but one of them would."

          Damnit, she used logic and it was actually good. How could she compare against that with her demand that they not be involved simply because she didn't trust them at fucking all? No, she didn't want their help, but she had come to Colleen for some but the whitelighter didn't know spells like a witch did. Damnit, she was going to have to involve the Elders, ugh.

          But, if it kept her from an early grave again...well, maybe she could let this one thing slide and ask for their help if Colleen was the one actually doing the asking. Evanora sighed. "Fine. Ask for their help, see if I care."

          Colleen looked at her, a mix of disappointment and something else that Evanora just couldn't pinpoint, and she readied herself for another lecture about the Elders and how they were actually good people who cared – like, yeah, sure they did.

          "I'm just trying to help you, but I can't do this alone, and obviously you can't either since you can to me for help. They're your best shot," Colleen said, all serious and low, but enough explanation for her to understand that she wasn't just doing it to make her mad but because she actually needed it.

          And yeah, so whatever if that made Colleen just a little better in her eyes that she wasn't lecturing about the importance of the Elders and how high and mighty and good they are, but explaining in not so much in her words but her tone that she wasn't doing it to piss her off but because it was needed, it didn't mean anything. Not really. It just meant that Colleen was so used to her feelings towards those fuckers calling themselves the rulers of the witches that she didn't feel like fighting in defense of them and against Evanora anymore. Nothing else.

          This wasn't any progress in their relationships of a matter understanding of each other, it was just her going to her whitelighter for help in something she couldn't do by herself and her whitelighter taking her seriously, as she should since she was literally revived by the Elders to help a witch in need. And while she didn't like to think of herself as the damsel in distress, she couldn't help but feel like one in this instance, going to someone else to help protect her against an unknown entity.

          It wasn't progress, it was just out of the interest of not wanting an early grave. Duh.