10:43 p.m

to: kenma♡
i laughed today

its been so long that i had forgotten what it feels like

it escaped my mouth involuntarily and

i felt like life came back to me for a moment.

my friends seemed stunned

that i laughed.

perhaps... i have been acting weird. perhaps i have been pushing help away

i wanted to feel what you felt

but is it really what you would want me to do?

i need to appreciate them more, don't i

after all

they sacrifice their time to be there for me

and all i do is push them away

they were happy that i laughed

and i was happy for a moment too

until i thought about the last time you laughed.

i wonder

if i made you laugh back then.

now im beating myself up over it

i probably shouldn't.

i can add my friends to my list of things that make me smile

that will be one out of ten

are you proud of me?

tell me you are

or you aren't

at this point i will take anything

just promise me one thing

please

just don't let me move on

dont let me forget your face

your voice

and your warmth.

delivered.