At about midday, I get informed that I'll be taking a trip. A trip to District Twelve. A trip to home. Or where home once was.

I get informed by Rory (who is the only person in my compartment when I'm there) that they saved the Victor's Village, which is just another cruel move.

Nevertheless I'm still going. Because I have to see it for myself, no matter what the costs.

Boggs and I head down to the launch room where our hovercraft will fly from, and see Gale standing at the mouth of it. I run to him, hugging him. "I can't believe you're going through with this," he tells me.

"I can't believe you're helping me go through with this," I answer honestly.

"You can say no, Willow-"

"No! I need to see it for myself," I insist.

"This way," Boggs points us, and the two of us board the craft.

Gale and I sit in silence as the hovercraft minouvers through the sky. I'm not prepared for this, and by the look on my brother's face, he isn't either.

When we finally get there, a guard warns us. "Thirteen swept everything top to bottom so you'd be safe!"

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Gale asks me.

I look at him. "Yeah. I'm sure."

I'm not his feeble little sister anymore. I never was. But maybe that's just how he viewed me. However, looking at his eyes right now, I can see that view changing. I can see him start to view me as an equal. Not an inferior.

He hugs me and whispers in my ear. "We'll have our eyes on you from above. If you need help, we'll be there, you understand?"

I nod and walk slowly down, turning just in time to see the hovercraft flying higher.

I am in no way ready for what it has been hiding.

There's rubble everywhere, much like the surface of Thirteen. The Justice Building stands a ruin, nothing recognisable. The square, where I once watched Gale getting whipped, is buried under stones and ash.

I walk to where the merchant's section of town was, and kick over a few stones. They reveal a skeleton.

I gasp, a hand slowly reaching up to cover my mouth. Slowly, I walk backwards away from it as I start to cry. I am broken. The district is broken. There's nothing I can do.

And it's all because of me.

I arrive at the Victor's Village fifteen minutes later, seeing my house immediately and entering it. It's just the same as it always was.

Or so I thought.

Heading into the kitchen, I see my father's old hunting jacket on a coat hanger. Instantly, I put it on. I'm cold and it feels like home.

I collect a few vials of herbs for Mrs Everdeen, who, with Prim, has been working at the hospital in Thirteen.

A sound of glass breaking makes me jump and I turn to see Buttercup, Prim's cat. He and I (no matter what house I live at) have never really got along.

But I have to do it for Prim.

I pick up the manky, mangy animal and put it into my bag. It objects, flailing around and wailing like anything. "Don't you wanna see Prim?" I coax it into being quiet. Animals aren't allowed in Thirteen. I'll have to figure that part out later.

Walking into the drawing room where I once had a chat with President Snow, a wave of nostalgia hits me. But I continue on. I see a picture of my father on the mantle and don't hesitate to pick it up and put it in.

Then, suddenly, I see the impossible.

The vase that sits upon the table has a number of wilted flowers in it, but there's one, right in the middle, that still lives. It's a white rose, perfect and plain, that reeks of an odour I can't get rid of.

I pick it up, examining it. No doubt it was left by Snow, who knew I would come back some time.

I drop it in shock, not wanting to be anywhere near it. It's just another reminder that Snow is our leader. And that it wouldn't matter how many rebellions we ordered, because he would always be in charge.

The snake with his weapons.

Blood.

And roses.

☘︎☘︎☘︎

"Buttercup!" Prim shouts as I surprise her with the cat. She lifts him up and holds him, seeing him for the first time since she thought he was dead.

"I snuggled him in," I answer, hugging my mother.

I stood in our compartment with my mother, Prim, Vick, Rory and Posy.

"I got dad," I tell my mother, handing her the picture of my father. She gasps in joy but then the tears start to come. "And I got Mrs Everdeen some medicinal herbs."

"They have strict rules," my mother reprimands me, whilst Prim and Rory hold Buttercup. "I don't know what they'll do if they find him here."

I sigh as Rory says. "Screw them. If Prim wants to keep her cat, then why shouldn't she?"

"Rory!" My mother shouts as she takes the herbs and goes to find Mrs Everdeen.

But Rory's comment doesn't go without merit as it causes Prim and Vick to laugh and me to sigh. "It's not that simple, Rory, and Coin's already got it in for me as I-"

"What did you do?" My little brother raises his eyebrows at me.

"I yelled at her, and Plutarch."

They all kind of guess it's about Austin. He's about the only thing I've been worrying about since I got here.

"We're... sorry, Willow," Vick says. I smile slightly, patting him on the shoulder. "We know you miss him."

"I'm fine," I lie. They know I'm lying. I know I'm lying. No one addresses this.

"I'm going to dinner," I say, getting up and walking out. I don't want to face anyone I love at the moment.

☘︎☘︎☘︎

At dinner, I sit beside Gale and Katniss inside it. I can't bare to look at them.

When I went away to the games, Katniss and Gale grew closer, eventually getting together the day before I fired the arrow. I can't stand to see anyone in love at the moment, least of all two of the people I'm closest to. It makes my heart rake for Austin more than anyone can imagine.

"You have to try to eat something," Gale says.

I push my food around my plate, not making eye contact with them.

Suddenly, the Capitol anthem plays and the seal appears on the TV screens in the centre of the room. The seal fades to Ceasar Flickerman, sitting down.

"Good evening, everyone, and a big welcome to all of Panem," he begins. "I am Ceasar Flickerman, and whoever you are, whatever it is you're doing, if you're working out down your work, if you're having dinner stop having dinner."

It's not like I was eating anything, anyway.

"You are going to want to witness this," Ceasar goes on. "There has been ramp and speculation about what really happened during the Quarter Quell, and here, to shed a little light on the subject, is a very special guest, please welcome, Mr Austin Thatcher."

A gasp escapes my slightly parted lips as the screen switches to Austin. I get up slowly as Ceasar continues.

"Austin, a lot of people feel as though they are in the dark..."

"Yeah, I can certainly relate to that," Austin says. I walk towards him, taking in his face, his voice, his eyes, his everything...

"Yes, so lay this out for us, talk us through what really happened on that final and controversial night," Ceasar says.

"Well first off, you have to understand that when you're in the games, you only get one wish, and it's very costly," Austin tells everyone.

"You're alive..." I whisper as I pass Prim, Rory, Vick, Posy, Mrs Everdeen and my mother, looking up at the screen. The one I love is alive.

But what has he gone through?

"Yes, so that wish, it costs your life," Ceasar nods along to what Austin says.

"I think it costs more than your life."

"What are you talking about, what's more than your life?"

"Well, to murder innocent people," Austin really has a skill with words. "That costs everything that you are."

"Yes."

"So you hold onto that one wish, and that night, my wish was to save Willow," I try to smile. He's still trying to protect me. "You know, I should've just ran off with her, earlier in the day like she wanted."

"But you didn't," Ceasar digs. "Why not? Were you caught up in Beetee's plan?"

"No, I was caught up trying to play allies," he says bitterly. "Then they separated us and... that's why I lost her."

I step forward as he paints the picture. "Then the lightning hit and, uh, the whole forcefield around the arena just blew out."

"Yes, but Austin, Willow was the one that blew it out," Ceasar tries to make him see reason. "You saw the footage."

"No, she didn't know what she was doing, okay?" Austin's voice raises a notch. "Neither of us knew there was a bigger plan going on, we had no idea."

"You had no idea?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well, Austin, there are many who find this suspicious, to say the least," Ceasar raises his two hands. "It seems as though she was part of a rebel plan."

"Well do you think it was part of her plan to be almost killed by Johanna?" Austin fights back. "D'you think it was part of her plan to be paralysed by lightning? No, we had no idea what we were doing we were not part of any rebel plan-"

"Okay, okay," Ceasar puts his hands up again. "I believe you, Austin Thatcher. Now I was going to ask you to talk about the unrest, but if you're too upset-"

"No, no, I want to," Austin says, taking a deep breath in, slowly letting it out, then turning to the camera. "I want everyone who's watching, to stop, and think about what a civil war could mean for us. We almost went extinct once before, and now, our numbers are even fewer. Is this really what we wanna do? Kill ourselves off? Killing is not the answer. Everyone needs to lay down their weapons immediately."

This causes uproar in the dining room. Everyone is yelling things like "traitor!" and "he's not one of us!" I just stare around in horror. Austin's made himself a lot of enemies with just one sentence.

"Are you calling for a ceasefire?" Ceasar leans forward, his purple brows touching.

"Yeah," Austin turns away from the camera. "Yeah, I am."

He says something else, but in Thirteen, it's drowned by roars of outrage and hate. I look to Katniss in horror, and she stares back at me with the same expression.

I can't do this. I run out the dining hall and down the corridor, but the shouts follow me.

Even if Austin gets back to Thirteen, gets saved, what's waiting for him here?

I know exactly what. A President that doesn't like him and a whole district full of people who want him dead.