Winter had arrived in District Twelve as I was trying to forget. I knew I wouldn't. It's impossible.

My name is Willow Hawthorne. I've survived the Hunger Games and I got two people out of it. Me, and Austin Thatcher, the boy I was supposedly in love with.

Right now, I'm out in the snowy woods, with my axes, hunting for game that I know won't come. It's too cold. Anyway, I have more than enough food now, since winning the games.

After I got home from the games, my family moved to the Victor's Village, the only real 'rich' part of Twelve. We also got food, water and enough money to last us a lifetime.

But that sort of lifestyle isn't for me.

Anyway, I'm now down by the lake, axe out, trying to catch something. Nothing shows. Suddenly, a twig snaps behind me and I turn my axe on whatever's there.

"Whoa," Gale says as he holds his hands up. "It's only me, Willow, it's only me."

Yes, it is only him. My brother. But after the games, he's been really distant. He hasn't talked to me nearly as much and every time he sees me with Austin (pretending to be in love, no less) he rolls his eyes and doesn't speak. I don't know what's wrong with him.

"You here to finally talk or are you just gonna cold shoulder me like usual?" I ask, walking past him. He grabs my arm and turns me back.

"When's the tour leave?"

Ahh, thanks for reminding me! As if I haven't been sweating over what's going to happen if people don't think we're in love! I think sarcastically. Gale doesn't see this on my face, though, as I answer. "A couple hours."

The Victory Tour is another one of the Capitol's way of reminding people that the Games never go away. The Victor (or in this case Victors) tours all the way round Panem, starting with their own District and always finishing in the Capitol.

We've done our bit in Twelve, now we have to tour round all the other Districts and give meaningless speeches about how we care for the two children they've lost. Well, that bit's true, but the rest is complete idiocy.

And once we're done, we get to go to the Capitol, where President Snow will give us a fake speech that he alone doesn't believe in. I roll my eyes at the pretence of it all.

"Then let's go," Gale brings me back to life. He puts an arm around my shoulders and walks me through the woods.

At one point, after taking the rabbits of the snares that Gale had set, we come across some turkeys. Gale nods at me and I pull an axe out, aiming at the birds. I throw in one small motion.

But suddenly I don't see a turkey I see Marvel, the boy from District One which I killed defending Rue. I hyperventilate as I watch him fall to the ground and die. Tears come to my eyes as Gale shouts. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm right here, Willow!"

He knows that this happens to me. Flashbacks. And I can't stop having them because the arena isn't just a physical game, it's a mind game. And I can't pull myself out of its clutches.

Gale holds me until I calm down, and I stop crying. But I can't stop thinking. I can't stop thinking about that moment when I ended an innocent life. "I'm sorry," I say.

Gale sighs. "You better hurry up."

We walk back to the fence in silence. When we get there, we slip under it and head towards the hob, the black market in which I've traded since I was eleven.

When we get there, I immediately see Greasy Sae, who has a stall selling soup. I buy a cup of it and slowly sip it as Gale haggles and trades the rabbits.

I also go to the liquor stall, which is run by a woman called Ripper. I buy four bottles of it.

The liquor isn't for me, but for Haymitch. There's been rumours about a shortage coming and I don't want him to suffer for it. Mainly because I'm spending the next twelve days with him.

Soon, once Gale has some paraffin and some herbs, he says, "I'm going to the Everdeen's, I'll meet you back at home."

He and Katniss got closer during the time when I was in the games, neither of them like each other in more than a friend way, and I'm glad of it, but I'm glad Gale has a friend that he can confide in now. Because I can't be that for him anymore.

I then begin the walk to the Victor's Village. It's about as far away from the woods as you can get. Another disadvantage of living there.

The little village has twelve houses, but only three are inhabited. One by Haymitch, my old drunk mentor that somehow came through in the arena. He lives alone. One by Austin, who's also living alone since his family are too busy at the bakery, and one by me. My whole family have moved in to my house.

Anyway, when I get back to the village, I completely ignore my own house and walk to Haymitch's, because he asked me to wake him an hour before the cameras got here.

"Haymitch," I say, walking into his house. I get no answer. Going through to the kitchen, I see him surrounded by at least five bottles of wine, his head face down on the table, a knife in his hand. He always sleeps with one.

"Haymitch," I continue. "Wake up, it's tour day. Haymitch!" I prod him and poke him but he doesn't wake. Sighing, I notice some wine in a tankard on the table. I take it up and fling it all over him.

"ARRRRGGGHH!" The effect is immediate as Haymitch wakes, stands up and weilds his knife at me. "What are you doing?"

"Cameras are going to be here in an hour," I answer sharply. When he does nothing except stare at me blankly, I put my hand on his shoulder and force him back into his seat. "If you wanted to be babied, you should've asked Austin."

"Asked me what?"

As I see him stride into Haymitch's house, I scowl.

"Asked you to wake me without giving me pneumonia," Haymitch answers shortly as he looks up at me. "You are a strangely dislikeable person," I lay out the liquor on his table. "But you do have your virtues."

"Glad to hear it," I snap, turning my attention back to Austin.

"Would you like some bread, Willow?" He asks me stiffly.

After the games, Austin and I weren't really close at all. He didn't want to be near me because I had lied about liking him in the games, and I didn't want to be near him because of the guilt that was eating me up inside. But we could talk, it was just awkward.

Well, until one day, when we argued, and... things have never really been the same between us since. I still shiver when I think back to it.

The cameras had just left Twelve and Austin and I had gone back to normal. I had been avoiding him for the past few days, but today, he found me when I was walking back from the woods.

"I can't go on like this, Willow!" I heard him yell.

"Well, believe me, I don't want to either!"

"So don't!"

"What in the name of Panem does that mean?" I had turned round, my eyes flaming.

"We can go back to the way it was!"

"It 'was' never anything!"

"Why do you hate me so much, Willow?"

"Because you love me!" I yelled spitefully.

This took him aback and he started to stutter. "I-I-"

"Yes, that's right!" I was shouting by then. "I hate you because you love me! That's the kind of person I am! So how about you just how back to bullying me rather than being in love with me!"

Austin tried again. "I- Willow-"

"Stop falling for me!" I had bellowed. "Just go back to how it was!"

"But I can't!" Austin had finally found his tongue.

"Then try," I said harshly, turning around.

"But-" he rushed after me, trying to catch my arm-

"Can't you see!?" I threw him off and faced him, my eyes boring into his. "Everything I did and said in the games was FAKE! I'm FAKE! Now go! Leave!"

The force of my voice seemed to have awakened something in him, and he started at me, long and hard, before saying. "Just so you know, I'll never stop loving you."

"No, I ate at the hob, but thank you," I say back to him roughly as this memory rushes through me.

"Well, you two look like you need some warming up before showtime," Haymitch comments.

"Which is, in an hour, so, take a bath, Haymitch." I roll my eyes.

"I just did," my mentor comments as I turn my back and leave, not wanting to even look at Austin, who I'm soon going to have to pretend to be head over heels in love with.

When I arrive back at my own house, I'm met with my mother and Posy. I see Prim and Rory behind them as well. "Did you have a good walk, dear?" My mother asks me.

This is when I know something's wrong. She knows I've been in the woods, so why is she acting like I haven't? I take my scarf and gloves off as I furrow my brows. "Walk? I was just out-"

"We have visitors," Rory says immediately. He and Prim both have the same scared look on their face as two men in black uniforms step out. "Miss Hawthorne, this way please."

They lead me to the drawing room, a room which I basically never go in. I'm a bit confused about being escorted round my own home, but when the door opens, I understand.

I'm staring at the snake like appearance of President Snow.