𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟔𝟎𝟓

𝟏 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝟕 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬, 𝟒 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬

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A little while later, we all gathered around the entrance, discussing the results of the trade. Gregory had pushed Maggie away, and now Jesus was trying to figure something else out. I hadn't really said anything to Daryl after that. I just didn't know what to say. We stuck together though, despite the awkward circumstances. "We want to generate trade, Gregory does." Jesus continued on, "But ammo isn't something we urgently need." They had spears. They had no guns. They needed weapons. "The walls hold." I took a step forward, a little bitter about the whole situation. "You can't hide behind them forever." I said with a tight smile and crossed arms. "We just don't need ammo." He repeated, ignoring what I just said. "Yeah, well, we want things, too." Daryl took a step forward towards Jesus. "We need food. Came all this way, we're gonna get it." Rick added, sitting on a small chair. 

"I will talk to him and we will work this out." Jesus's voice now a bitter tone, like he didn't want to be there. "Can you give me a few days?" He asked, the question directed towards Rick, but got a response from Michonne. "We can."

Suddenly, someone came through the door. He had a panicked look on his face as Gregory stood up and walked over. "They're back." He said, motioning outside. Everyone followed the two outside, greeted by three people walking towards us. "Negan?" Gregory asked. Negan. Like the group of bikers we had come across. Negan. Who was that?

I wasn't paying attention to what they said next, but a few words registered in my mind. They were talking about people, and how they were keeping someone alive. I was brought back when a relatively big guy lunged for Gregory, stabbing him. I unsheathed my knife and ran over, alone with everyone else. Rick pulled the guy off of Gregory while Maggie and Jesus pulled Gregory away. 

Rick repeatedly drove his first into the guys face, but was quickly pulled off by another man I didn't recognize. There were so many people I didn't recognize going after our group. I stood there confused for a few seconds before noticing someone on top of Abraham. I started to run over, but Daryl stepped in front of me, pushing the guy off and breaking his arm. I winced as I heard his bone crack. Ew. I had seen, I had done worse and wasn't disgusted. But that somehow set me off. Everything was changing. 

The guy was now completely on top of Rick, a sharp piece of wood to his throat. I walked over, but kept my distance. Suddenly, Rick stabbed the guy. Blood started gushing from his throat. I looked away, disgusted, again. I've seen the insides of people. I've seen every organ and every bone. But I still felt like I was gonna throw up. If this happened just a year ago, I would love it. Change. 

Daryl walked over, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You alright?" He asked, his voice a low grunt. He must've noticed how that set me off. "Yeah. I'm fine, just a little grossed out. That's all." I responded, biting my lip as his hand fell down off of my shoulder. 

"You killed him!" A guy yelled at Rick. Suddenly, a woman ran over and punched him. She was quickly taken down by Michonne. People had gathered around, pointing their spears at us. We had guns, and overpowered them by a ton. 

I felt myself get a little more lightheaded, but quickly walked over to a tree and leaned against it for support. Was I weak?  The sight of blood never made me weak. I reached in my pocket, taking out my pills. I kept my body faced away from everyone as I took two. I haven't recently been taking them, but I haven't had any "episodes". Episodes sounded weird, but that's what Denise calls them. I screwed the lid back on and stuffed it into my pocket. Daryl looked at me, giving me a confused expression. He look away when I put the pills in my pocket and turned around.

I sat at the foot of the tree, trying to let whatever was happening to me pass. My head was throbbing, I felt lightheaded, and nauseous. I closed my eyes, resting my head in my hands as I sit there. 

I sat up to the sounds of footsteps, then someone sitting beside me. "You good?" I knew that voice. It was Daryl. I looked over, rubbing my eyes with the back of my palm. "Yeah I'm fine." He was silent for a second, I could tell he was thinking. "I saw you take those pills... Why?" He saw? I couldn't just tell him that I was crazy. I didn't know what to say. I nervously bit my lip as I thought of a reasonable response. "Nothing." I mumbled after not coming up with a good enough lie. He let out a sigh, one that sounded irritated. "Look, I'm not gonna push you, but I know it's more than nothing." He stood up, almost walking away. "Wait, Fine." I reluctantly called out, standing up. I got dizzy, but quickly steadied myself with the tree.

He turned around and looked at me, and I took a deep breath. "Just don't tell anyone." I mumbled, and he came back. "It's, uhm.." I couldn't help my voice from trailing off. He looked calm, like he trusted me. "Antipsychotics." He looked at me, shocked, but quickly hid it with a grunt. "Oh." He responded, his tone almost disappointed. 

"You don't care?" I asked, almost more surprised than him. He genuinely looked like he couldn't care less, his normal expression on his face. "Nah. Nothing wrong with that." I couldn't hold back a smile. I expected him to be mad, confused, maybe even scared. But no. 

I looked up at him. He was taller than me, but not by too much. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. At first he seemed reluctant. Reluctant to return the hug, but after a few seconds he did. He carefully wrapped his arms around my back, like he was scared to mess up. I pulled away after a few seconds, just looking at him. 

His hair was messy and greasy, his clothes were torn and dirty, and he smelt like a pigsty. But honestly? I didn't care. He was a sweet guy behind his gruff demeanor and I think that's what I like about him.

✦

We were all gathered in Gregory's office, waiting for an update from Jesus. Eventually he walked in, "Dr. Carson was able to patch Gregory up. He's in pain, but he'll live." I sat on an old fancy chair, one I wouldn't dare to sit on before the outbreak. "We heard the name Negan. A while back Daryl and Esmé had a run in with his men." Rick spoke up. Negan. That name just sounded so weird. I hated it. "Who is he?" Rick continued, walking towards Jesus. 

"Negan's the head of a group of people he calls the Saviors. As soon as the walls were built, the Saviors showed up. They get half of everything." Jesus said, obviously tensing up over the sensitive topic. "And what do you get in return?" Glenn asked. 

"They don't attack this place." I looked at Jesus. Why didn't they just kill Negan? Were they too scared? Too weak? As if reading my mind, Daryl spoke up. "Why not just kill them?" I looked up at him, he was standing behind the chair I sat on, his elbows resting on the wood. 

"Most of these people don't even know how to fight, even if we had ammo." I frowned. I wasn't surprised, they seemed weak. "How many people does Negan have?" Rick asked. Was Rick seriously planning on taking them out?  I mean, I guess I get why, but what? "We don't know." Jesus took a breath, as he stood infront of everyone like an elementary school presentation. "We've seen groups as big as twenty."

"Now hold up. So they show up, kill a kid,  and you give 'em half of everything?" Daryl asked, but it didn't really sound like a question. I could tell he was irritated, just by the way he said it. I could understand his confusion, but I feel like there's more we don't know. That they don't really have a choice, I guess.

"These dicks just got a good story. The bogeyman, he ain't shit." He started walking towards Jesus, and I had to resist the urge to tell him to stop. "A month ago, we took his guys out PDQ." He pointed to me for a second before continuing on.

"You know, we'll do it. If we go get your man back, kill Negan, take out his boys, will you hook us up?" I could tell there was more we didn't know. That this wasn't it. Daryl didn't know what he was talking about, and I wanted to get up and tell Jesus he didn't mean what he just offered. Killing people we had never met? What if they're actually innocent? Yeah, they sound like bad people but I want to know more before we agree to kill their people. 

"Confrontations never been something we've had trouble with." Rick looked over with a shrug. "I'll take it to Gregory." Jesus announced.

✦

We were loading up the camper, preparing to head back. We got our part of the trade up front. We would get some of their stuff if we took care of the Saviors. I didn't like the idea of killing possibly innocent people, but I started to understand. We needed the food. We didn't have much of a choice. We were running low on a lot of stuff, and now we'd be good. 

I took baskets of fresh produce, loading the camper up with it. They had grown most of their food, and I respected that. They were weak, yes, but they were also resourceful, despite all of the circumstances.

After getting a majority of our stuff, we were ready to go. We'd have to make more trips, considering the amount of stuff they were giving us. The ride back was relatively boring. I sat and read my book, Daryl still sitting beside me.  

I watched as Michonne slid Daryl a picture of Glenn and Maggies ultrasound. I set my book down, leaning over his shoulder to get a look. I was happy for them, but a part of me felt bad. Felt bad for the kid, having to grow up in conditions like this. For Maggie and Glenn, having to raise a kid in this. I looked up at Daryl, I could tell he was forcing a grin, and I could understand why. Eventually he handed it to me, but I just handed it to Abraham.

✦

It was late at night, we had gotten back a while ago. I sat on the front porch, unable to sleep. I heard the door open and shut, the familiar pattern of footsteps walking over, and someone sitting beside me. Daryl. I looked beside me, my elbows resting on my knees. "Hey." I mumbled. "Cant sleep?" He asked, his voice low. "No. You?" He gave a quiet chuckle. "Nah. Not really a big sleeper." I nodded. "You worried about tomorrow?" He looked over at me, a sincere look in his eyes, one I hadn't really seen before. "Yeah, I guess." My words hung in the air for a few seconds before I added on. "I just want to know the Saviors side of story before we kill them all. What if they're innocent?" I murmured, looking back down at the pavement. Daryl shrugged. "We have to do things we don't like. It's the new world." He was right. I had done a ton of things I still regret. This was just gonna be added on to the long list.

"I guess I just wish I could care less." I admitted. "Y'know there's a word for that.. just can't remember it." He gave a chuckle, a genuine one I didn't hear much from him. The tough guy no one expected to let his guard down, and to me of all people. I felt special. "Yeah, I think it's like liberosis." I looked back up at him, unable to help the smile creeping onto my face. "Yeah, that's the one." I scooted next to him, laying my head on his shoulder.

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NOTEPAD

• 2092 words!

• I think I'm obsessed with this chapter guys

• guys why is the poster giving uncanny valley