Christmas day was actually... really good.

Azalea had spent the day with her family, relaxing, eating food, playing board games, receiving presents and also recieving letters from her friends. She'd had one from Alice, Lily and Rose, and she'd expected none of them.

By evening, she was stuffed full of food, sitting in her fuzzy socks, pyjama bottoms and white vest, curled up on the sofa with a bowl of fresh, homemade popcorn watching reruns of a TV show she'd seen a thousand times already, and giggling like a maniac. Her parents were cleaning up in the kitchen. Daisy, meanwhile, was sitting along from her on their L-shaped sofa, eyes glued to a book, rolling her eyes every time Azalea even dared breathe.

However, before it could happen again, a sharp knocking, or rather pecking, sound was heard on the window.

"Oh what the fuck is that?" Daisy groaned.

Shut up, is what Azalea wanted to say. But instead, she just uncurled herself and put the popcorn bowl on the ground before walking over to the window.

Sure enough, the sound was what she thought it was. An owl was outside her window, a letter attached to its leg.

Azalea couldn't help but smile as she opened the window, ignoring Daisy's annoyed shout about the cold wind that swept in, untied the letter from the owl and then said. "Thanks," to it, letting it fly away.

As she drew her head in, she looked at the letter, and saw only one word on it.

Edwards

Azalea fought to keep her blush down and to not smile as she looked at it, knowing instantly that it was from James Sirius Potter.

Of course. Of course he'd send her a letter, just like the girls in his family had done. Screw him.

No. No we shall not be saying that again.

"What the hell is that?" Daisy, who was suddenly taking an interest in Azalea instead of her book.

"Nothing," Azalea answered quickly.

"Oh, really?" Daisy's voice was cutting and harsh. "So it's not a letter from that boy that totally blew me off so he could speak to you and in turn you completely blew off as an attention seek?"

"What?" Azalea asked, looking up from the letter. "What are you talking about, Daisy-?"

"I'm talking about James!" Daisy yelled, emphasising his name and making Azalea's eyes widen.

Then, she stood up. She was only slightly taller than Lea, but right now it seemed like she was towering over her younger sister. Azalea stared up at her, her heart beating like crazy as she tried to work out what her sister was going to say.

"You know, you've always had a way of stealing everything from me," Daisy snarled at her. "And just when I thought one thing was gonna be mine, it turns out he is, and always has been, in love with my perfect little sister."

She said the word 'sister' with such contempt that Azalea wondered how long she had been holding this in.

"W-what?" She was so stunned, she didn't even know what to say.

"You know what? I'm done," Daisy said, throwing her hands up in the air before turning round and stalking back towards the door, wrenching it open and stomping upstairs.

"Wait-" Azalea, confused, angry and upset, ran after her. "Wait, Daisy!"

She remembered how they used to chase each other round the house as kids as she chased her older sister upstairs, but it just made her so much more upset.

When she got to Daisy's room, she spent no time in wrenching the door open. Her sister was in there, standing up and breathing hard, her eyes narrowed and her fists clenched. "What?"

"What the fuck was that?" Azalea demanded. "You don't even know James!"

"Yeah, well I could've got to know him!" Daisy yelled.

"Look, we both know this isn't really about Potter," Azalea said. "What did you mean, I've had a way of stealing everything from you?"

"Yeah, everything!" Daisy screamed, so much so that Azalea thought their parents were going to hear. "Mum and dad's attention, their pride, boys that I like, even a stupid stupid STUPID letter to a magic school!"

They stood in deafening silence for a second, both taking in each other.

Then Azalea scoffed, her lip curling. "Daisy, I don't know what kind of fantasy you're living in, but I didn't ask for any of that-"

"Still got it, though! Still enjoyed it-"

"Just listen to me!" Azalea yelled, silencing her sister. "I didn't ask for any of that, Daisy! When I turned eleven and got the letter to Hogwarts, all I wanted was my older sister to help me and guide me through life, but you got further and further away each summer and now we barely talk save fighting!"

"And why do you fucking think that is?"

But this time, Daisy's voice was different. It was sort of choked up, and filled with envy, and told Azalea that she hated her with every part of her soul.

"You know, you probably don't remember this, but when you were a toddler, I twisted my ankle the same day you created an amazing potato print drawing," she told Lea, eyes sparkling with tears. "I had to watch mum absolutely coddle you before she even gave me any attention, and by the time she did, it was swollen to the side of a golf ball."

She stared at Azalea, eyes swimming with tears.

"Daisy..." Lea whispered, her own eyes welling up. "I never meant that to happ-"

"And I could give you a thousand other instances where something similar happened," Daisy stared down at her. "Like it or not, Azalea, you're the favourite child. And you getting into magic school and meeting a bunch of freaks only made that clearer."

"Daisy, stop-"

"It's the truth, Azalea!" Daisy yelled, her words cutting deep. "You're just too blinded by years and years of being wrapped in cotton wool to see it!"

"Maybe that's how you see it, but not me," Azalea snapped. "Listen, Daisy, I don't care what's happened in the past, but you and I still have a chance-"

"No we do not!" Daisy shrieked back.

Azalea stood in disbelief, mouth wide open, eyes wide.

"Fine, then," she said, even though there were tears streaming down her face. "If you don't want a chance, then let's not take it."

"Great!" Daisy also had tears making tracks down her face as she screamed at her sister. "You go be perfect daughter then! No matter what I do, I'll always be second best!"

And Azalea pretened to be annoyed, as she slammed her door.

Until she dissolved into tears on the other side of it.

✾✾✾

Dear Edwards,

Merry Christmas, or whatever. Lils is pushing me to write this letter, to be honest. I don't have much to say to you.

Hey Lea, it's Lils and I can confirm James totally wanted to write this!

Whatever. Anyway, whilst you're here, how's your holidays going? I'm at my grandparents', at their house the Burrow, and it's pretty crowded, but it's amazing. How are you doing? You alright? Daisy giving you any trouble?

If she is, tell her to shut up. You don't derserve that, Azzie.

I like calling you Azzie. Everyone calls you Lea, but Azzie's like my nickname, and I like it. Anyway, after we go back, we have to knuckle down on getting the second task worked out. Mum's already offering to buy me a translator, but I told her there would be one in the library.

Anyways, hope to see you soon Azzie, and Merry Christmas. Hope you're having as much fun as you can without me.

Yours,

James Siriusly-arrogant Potter

Azalea sobbed that night in bed, reading the letter by the light of her wand and holding it close to her chest as she cried.

After thinking about it, she realised that whilst she always thought Daisy was the goodie-turned-villain in her story, she had always been the villain in Daisy's. It had just been better concealed before she got into Hogwarts.

And here was James, acting as though Daisy was the problem. Acting as though she was the one that was terrible, and Azalea was amazing and didn't deserve any of it.

Azalea, meanwhile, was coming to realise that she had deserved all of it.

Even with Lauri. Clearly, he'd just been the same as Daisy, hating her because she won the task. And he had every right to. She- she had deserved what he gave her.

(And she didn't deserve James Sirius Potter, not one bit).

That night, Azalea fell asleep crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, eyes shut firmly as she clutched James' letter to her chest.

✾✾✾

When her feet touched the ground as she landed from the apparation, Azalea fought not to cry.

The past few days had been rough. Her and Daisy had spent the most of them avoiding each other, and trying to convince their parents, who were none the wiser at the moment, that they were okay.

But now, Lea was staring up at the Longbottom house, ready to go and see Alice, and her older brother Fred, and Neville and Hannah.

When she got up to the door, she knocked hesitantly on it, but as soon as she did it flew open.

"I'm so glad you're here!"

But- that wasn't Alice's voice.

"Lily?" Azalea gasped in shock as Lily Luna Potter drew back from her, face radiant.

"Alright Lils, let me have a shot!" Alice was suddenly barrelling towards her, taking over from Lily as she hugged her tightly. "Hey, Lea."

"I- what?" Azalea was very bemused as Alice pulled back and she looked at the two of them.

"We come to stay at the Longbottoms' almost every year, cause they don't join us for Christmas," Lily said with a smirk. "We just didn't tell you that cause we wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh," Azalea said, smiling slightly as they let her walk in, putting her bag down and stowing her wand in her back pocket.

And then she froze. Because if Lily was here-

"Wait," she said, looking at her two smirking best friends. "Does that mean-?"

"Hey, Edwards."

Oh... shit.

I've been set up, was Azalea's first thought, as she turned to see James Sirius Potter, dressed in joggers and a black t-shirt, hair even more ruffled than usual.

And upon seeing him, Azalea's feeling of unworthiness only grew. For years and years, she'd thought she was too good for him. Turns out it was the other way round.

Nevertheless, she mustered up all the courage she still had in her body and replied. "Hey, Potter."

There was a moment of silence before Alice broke them staring at each other, picking up Azalea's bags and saying. "Right come on, Lea. You're on the ground with Lily in my room."

The three girls all marched upstairs, Alice hissing. "So, we gonna talk about that intro you just had back ther-?"

"No, why is he here? You never said he was gonna be here," Azalea snapped, trying to make her tone joking, but not really managing. If James Sirius Potter was here, she wasn't sure how much longer it would be until she cracked.

"It's fine, we just wanted it to be a surprise," Alice shrugged as they got up to the landing, seeing her brother coming out his room, making to go down the stairs. "Hey, Frank!"

"Hey guys- oh, hey Azalea, I heard you were coming today!" Frank Longbottom grinned at the girl.

"Hey," Azalea smiled.

Frank was a year older than her and Alice and James, so he had left Hogwarts last year, and wasn't there this one. He was training to be a healer at the moment, Azalea had heard, and doing well.

"How's Hogwarts going this year? I heard James got you entered into the tournament," Frank grinned. "I'm so mad it happened the year after I left."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you would've been great," Alice rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lea, let's go drop your stuff off."

However, 'dropping her stuff off' soon spiralled into a full blown talk about how the holidays had gone, and to be honest, Lea couldn't lie much longer.

"It was good," she said with a smile. "Food was amazing, as always, and my dad's gravy always makes the cut, and I did really enjoy just being with my family."

Lies.

It wasn't really. She had enjoyed being with her family before Daisy told her how much of a pain she was to everyone around her.

"That's amazing, Lea," Lily smiled. "What you really needed was a break after the tournment, and what you went through at the ball."

What I deserved to go th-

"Yeah," nodded Alice. "And now you can just have a fun time with us for these last few days before you go back and work on that key."

"Yeah," Azalea said with a feigned smile. "Thanks, guys."

She didn't notice Alice and Lily's concerned looks that they shot to each other when she wasn't looking. She thought she was doing a great job at convincing them.

But really, she wasn't doing very well at all.

✾✾✾

Living with the Longbottoms (and the Potters) was actually very fun. Azalea had loved being around her family (until the fight), but she thrived when she was around other witches and wizards. It was almost so good that she didn't remember how terrible she was.

On the third day, the day before they went back to Hogwarts, they had a huge quidditch game in the paddock, Alice and Albus (who both hated flying) even taking part. At some point, they even got Harry and Ginny involved, which was funny because they were both very good, and very competitive when put against each other.

By the end of the night, after about three helpings of Hannah's apple crumble and ten rounds of exploding snap, everyone retired to bed, but not before packing first.

Azalea's head was spinning as she tried to fall asleep on the queen sized air mattress next to Lily, who was snoring. Alice, too, was asleep on her bed, so Azalea had no one to talk to.

Meaning the tears began to fall.

She didn't know whether he being here was a burden or not. She didn't know whether she was actually a good person or not. What she did know was that she thought she was.

I need a drink, she thought, somewhere in the haze of her mind. I need to go down to the kitchen.

And after about a minute of swallowing against a dry throat and almost choking, she decided she couldn't wait any longer. She got up, slipping some fuzzy socks on and chucking a fleece on over the top of her vest before wiping her tears and sniffling slightly. Then, she sneaked out the door, and down the stairs.

The water was good, and soothing. Azalea drank at least a glass and a half before putting it down on the draining board, silently promising that she'd clean it tomorrow morning.

Right, job done, she thought, as she turned to go back upstairs. Now I just need to get back upstairs without anyone notici-

"What are you doing up, Edwards?"

Fuck.

Azalea froze, praying that the tear tracks on her cheeks weren't visible as she turned, seeing James Sirius Potter standing behind her, speaking to her in a murmuring voice.

She steeled herself, clenching her jaw as she muttered. "I could ask you the same question."

James' chuckle was a rumbling, happy sound that came from the back of his throat, and all Azalea wanted was to envelope herself in it and never leave.

(But she didn't deserve him).

"Oh, Azzie," James said with smile, taking a step towards her, and then another one. "Did you get my letter, by the way? I do like calling you that. Anyway- Edwards, are you okay?"

Shit.

He'd come too close.

He could see the tears tracks on her cheeks.

And as he stood there, asking if she was okay, Azalea knew she couldn't take it anymore.

She burst into silent tears, running at James Potter just like she had the night of the ball a couple of weeks ago.

"Edwards- what?" James uttered, wrapping his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest, her body heaving.

"I'm so sorry," she cried. "I'm so so so so sorry..."

"Shh, don't cry," James said, stroking her hair. "Don't cry, you have nothing to be sorry for, I promise..."

Not true.

She didn't know how it happened, to be honest, but one second they were in the kitchen, and next they were on the sofa, James sat at the end of it, Azalea curled into him as she cried.

James didn't want to enjoy this. He knew she was hurting and he needed to help her, but he couldn't help but note the way their bodies fit together like jigsaw pieces, the way her small frame felt in his arms.

Azalea, meanwhile, was sobbing because she needed his comfort and his care, but she didn't deserve it at all. She found so much comfort and warmth in lying here in his arms, though, so she stayed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered with a sniffle after around five minutes, or maybe ten. "I'm such a mess, I-"

"Hey, hey," James said, and she looked up at him, muscles tensing as she realised how close they were. "You have nothing to apologise for, Azzie. I'd happily sit here with you for the rest of your life if it meant you never being sad again."

Azalea took this in, eyes wide. What?

"D-do you want me to tell you what's bothering me?" She stammered, still looking up at him.

James' grip around her tightened. "Only if you want to."

And she didn't.

But also, deep down, she fucking did.

So next thing she knew, she was crying again, sobbing out her story.

"I- I ruined Daisy's life- it was fine until I came along a-and then I took all the attention away from her and-" she sucked in breath, chest heaving. "And she told me a story- when we were younger she sprained her ankle and she needed help but I-"

She dissolved into sobs again, burying her face in James Potter's chest. James' heart absolutely broke for her as he rubbed her back, trying to get her to calm down.

"And it's the exact same with Lauri," Azalea looked back up at James after she'd calmed down. "I- I ruined his life as well, and h-he was just trying t-t-to-"

"Shhhhhh... shhhhh," James shook his head, his own eyes welling up at the state of her.

He knew he needed to talk to her, but she was sobbing, her whole body shaking, and he knew that his first order of business had to be calming down.

"Azalea," he murmured, but she didn't listen. "Azzie, you need to breathe."

"I-"

"Yes, you can," James said. "Listen to my chest, to my heartbeat. Breathe in... and out. In... and out again..."

And Azalea did listen to his chest and his heartbeat. She did feel his hand on her back and one round her waist. She did feel the butterflies in her stomach and the knots it twisted itself into as James Potter whispered into her ear, his lips ghosting over it.

(She wished they would make contact).

Eventually, once she had calmed enough to listen, James moved back slightly. Azalea looked at him, a pleading look in her eyes, but James only chuckled before grabbing her hands, holding them tightly.

"Listen to me," he told her. "Are you listening?"

Azalea looked at him, into those blue eyes that were fucking sparkling.

"You did not ruin your sister's life," he told her firmly. "You can't help that your parents favoured you, if they even did, and you can't help that you got into Hogwarts, either."

(Even though he was beyond glad she did).

"But..." Azalea's face twisted as she fought tears again. "But I-"

"You're a good person," James told her. "I mean, you've spent the last six years trying to get me to fuck off, and even I can tell you that."

Azalea's lips twitched.

"And you're determined, and you're headstrong, and you're kind, and you know that you deserve the best," James told her. "And I've never told anyone this, but... you inspire me everyday, Edwards. Every single day."

"Yeah, well I'm a pretty shitty inspiration," Azalea shook her head, taking one hand away from his and lifting it to her face, wiping her eyes aggressively-

"Stop that," James told her, gently reaching up to take her hand away from her face, catching it in his again. He looked at her, into those green eyes that made him weak in the knees, and said. "And as for Lauri, don't ever fucking say that about him again. He's an asshole that tried to take advantage of you, and you stood your ground. He did everything wrong, and you did nothing."

A rush of butterflies swarmed Azalea's stomach, and her mind was overtaken by a strong urge to lean forward, close the gap between them, and-

"Thanks, James," she murmured, squeezing his hands. "I... I wasn't lying when I said you were my hero."

"Well," James shrugged. "You're mine."

And Azalea felt no doubt about leaning in and hugging him, placing her face into the crook of his neck and breathing in the minty scent of his cologne mixed with coconut shampoo.

When she thought about kissing James, about being with him, she became scared.

So for now, she just hugged him tighter, trying to calm the rush of butterflies.

The time for that would come later.