I cant sleep now a days. I keep having nightmares. The blood. Her face- everything keeps coming back. I haven't left my room either. I can't- I don't want too. I'm scared to face the repercussions of what happened, maybe none did. But I don't want to risk it. The physical and mental pain felt burned into my skin. I could remember it so clearly, and it scared me. I don't want to go through that again. So I didn't. I stayed in my..... questionably safe room. It seems I only panic when around others. So It was nice in here. No one bothered me.

That was until my bracelet exploded to life. I screamed thinking my quirk had gone haywire again, but all I remember hearing was some sobbing.

"Y/N?!! MY BABYYYYYY"
I hear a familiar voice cry, I choke back my own tears as surprise takes over.

"H-Haru?"

I cant thank the Boys enough. That crazy bunch helped me... kind of. They slowly made me more comfortable around people, yea... there was a thought in the back of my mind screaming to be acknowledged, but the boys helped me grow past that. They talked to me for hours, begging to come through the screen but I couldn't- I was scared. So we just talked... Talked about life- me. Well they were like- like therapists now. And I forgot... I forgot about the pain. I forgot about the struggles, the worries. I felt light again. pure. I felt normal.

So i let them through. And we talked some more.... We talked the night away, laughing over stupid stories and crying over sad memories. I got so much of my chest. And I felt so much better. They made me feel happy- They actually got some reaction out of me. Surprisingly. It confused me- wait another emotion. They- They actually made me feel again. I wasn't just an empty hollow shell of a person. I have a mind. I have emotions. They just held me close and walked me towards the light.

They saved me.

Just like that person that held me as the blood soaked my skin in my room.

Time slipped my grasp.... Again. And now it was the provisional hero licence exam. The class had special move training but I spent my days cooped up in my room, chatting away to my small little family while my classmates slaved away. They grew stronger while I tried to put back together my shattered mental state. It was like a puzzle. But the pieces were from different boxes. They didn't fit, and I didn't have a solution. My mind felt too tired to think straight- so I didn't. I didn't "fix" myself. I just- how do you say this?...... locked it away? yea. I locked it away. I hide those memories and feelings. Letting the normal back in.

But this wasn't normal.
This will never be normal.

I've changed since then. And i'll never be the same again.

I take a deep breath before placing a hand on my door handle.
"It's okay-"
I gasp in shock as I unconsciously open the door. Damn I'm stupid.

I step out and gulp nervously. It's okay. Your classmates won't hurt you. you won't hurt them.

With that I make my way to the elevator before hitting the ground button.

Okay no students so far- we're good.
The light bickering and chatting drifted through the door before completely stopping as the elevator let out a loud ass bing, notifying everyone of my arrival.
I freeze as all eyes drift to me. Breathe. My heart rate picks up as I slowly make my way into the kitchen. Breathe. Still many many pairs of eyes stayed on me. I open a cabinet and grab a glass. Just get some water and get out of there.

My hands start shaking as I turn to the tap. It's okay. Breathe- The glass then  slipped through my fingers before smashing into the ground. Glass shards sliding all over the ground. The sound seemed to echo around the silent room as I suck in a harsh breath.

"I-i'm sorry."
Why did I apologise?

"I'll-... Ill clean this up r-r-right away"
Am I suddenly a maid? Why? why? why? God just let my mind rest.

I immediately drop to my knees and gather the sharp pieces ignoring the wounds it was inflicting, my knees and hands now had many cuts and small droplets of blood started forming.

"Hey, hey, It's okay! Y/n I'll clean it up, okay? Let Ochaco clean you up first. It's not your fault. Accidents happen!"
I freeze startled at the really perky voice, Mina?
I look up only to find my smiling pink friend. I watch her kneel in-front of me and start carefully picking up the shards.

"Come on Y/n! I already had some band-aids! And they're a reeeeally cute pink colour!!!"
Uraraka gently helps me up and leads me to a couch, I stare up at her in confusion. She then carefully brushes the glass from my skin and washes the wounds with a damp cloth, then she tenderly places 4 pink bandaids on and taps them happily.

"All done! You're good as new!"
I gaze at the pink bandaid covered in hearts and flowers, my eyebrows furrowed.

"You-... Whats wrong? Do you not like the colour?"
I shake my head before gazing up at the bubbly space girl, small tears pricked my eyes.

"W-why?"
I croak out. Uraraka just pats my shoulder comfortingly, a confused look on her face.

"What-"

"Why are you being so nice?!"
She looks taken back before smiling, her cheeks puffing as she literally sparkles.

"All i've caused lately is trouble! I dragged people into my own personal business and they got hurt. Then I acted selfishly. W-why?!"
She just giggles before hugging me gently, her warmth spreading to me.

"Because true friends would do anything for each other. Your my best friend y/n! and I'd do anything for you! I- we care about you."
I sniffle as she pulls back and points to the class, they just shift uncomfortably around but still give me a reassuring smile.

"B-but-"

"No buts! We're you friends y/n! You could never hurt us."

Just wait till they find out about you killing someone-