Anika's Point Of View ~ 

The night is so calm, so still. Looking up and the stars shine bright along with a full moon. It's quiet and all I have are my thoughts. I bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my jacket around me before stuffing my hands into the jacket pockets. 

I sigh is heard along with the distant sound of crickets. I shiver a little bit. 

It's late August. Winter. 

But it really is such a lovely night. I love to come out here, just to think especially and sometimes even to get away. 

I hear a voice coming from behind me . . 

"Anika? . . Anika? . . " 

I turn around to see my husband, Darren walking towards me. He slides open the back glass door that leads out onto the back verandah where I am. 

"Your out here again? . . Darren asks me. 

I shrug my shoulders. What can I say? 

Even if I say why I'm really out here all the time. Even if I just spill my heart out to him . . he'll just shrug it off himself and walk away. That's what he always does and from the countless times he actually has done that in the past . . 

I have learnt my lesson, I suppose. 

" . . just wanted some fresh air . . " I tell him. 

Turning back around and looking out to what is in front and around me. 

I look up at the sky. 

The stars still sparkling and the moon is still big and full. 

It's beautiful. I can't get enough.

As I look at the moon, something is coming back to me. 

A memory. 

I remember . . 

. . I remember him. 

I remember that night. I think back to it, that night we were both sitting on the sand of our local beach. It was just after dusk and we were sitting close to each other that night. I remember my arms were wrapped around my legs and he was sitting back on his hands with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. The sound of the waves was the only thing that was heard after it was said . . we didn't speak . It's like the both of us knew what was to come. 

Then all of a sudden he spoke to me. 

He said . . 

"Anika, look! Look at the moon! . . " 

" . . it's full tonight, it's so beautiful . . " 

I remember his voice sounded painfully soft, quiet and with a glimmer of quiver to it. It was like I could hear his heart breaking right in that moment. My eyes beginning to tear up as he spoke, feeling as if his were doing the same. I wanted to close to her. I remember that I shifted closer to him, slight. More and more each time. 

I remember . . 

That feeling of the warmth of his body. His smell even, he always smelt the same. It's like it was his smell. When I look up and see the moon, so full and so lovely like it is tonight . . it reminds me of him. I remember him. 

So beautiful. So bright and now so far away. 

Darren snaps me out of my deep thoughts as he suddenly speaks. 

"Don't stay out here too long, it's going to get a little colder . . " He tells me. 

I force a smile. 

Got it, thanks Darren . . " I say. 

He walks back inside, leaving me alone once again with my thoughts as nothing more is said between us. I shake it off quickly and look back up at the moon. My mind is flooding back with memories of that night with him. 

I remember . . 

Once everything was said, we both promised that we would stay in contact with each other no matter what. To stay friends once we walked away from each other. The silence after that was so painful. I'll never forget that feeling. The feeling in my stomach . . 

. . the feeling in my heart. 

A tear runs down my face as I remember. It's like it was the saddest thing in the world because deep down we both knew that wasn't true. We both already knew that wasn't even an option. How could we stay friends after this? Another tear escaping from my green eyes, cascading gracefully down my cheek. Why is it still so raw for me? Even after all these years. I don't understand that. 

I remember so much of my past with him. His voice . . 

. . I still remember him. 

I feel my phone ring in my pocket. I wonder who that could be. I take it out and look at the bright screen. 

It's my former neighbour and still my good friend, Lisa. She's my neighbour from my small home town of Airlie Beach up in Queensland. She's so lovely. Just an amazing women. When I moved, I wanted to stay in touch with her as long as she stayed in Airlie Beach and she's still there today. When I was growing up, Lisa lived next door to me - to my grandparents house. 

Well, my grandmothers house now. 

Lisa keeps an eye on my grandmother and looks out for her since I moved away. She checks in and even stops by to spend time with my grandmother. Lisa is just great. 

I push my thumb down on the 'accept' button. Before placing the phone to my ear. 

"Hello, Lisa . . " I say with a smile. 

Anika, hi . . " I hear Lisa's voice on the other end. 

"I'm so sorry to call, I know it's quite late" . . 

" . . but I felt like I really needed to tell you this" . . 

She continues. 

"Anika, it's your grandmother. She's not doing too well. She keeps forgetting things, simple things and" . . 

" . . things she would normally never forget . . " Lisa finishes saying. 

Oh my. I'm so shocked. The last time I spoke to my grandmother on the phone was only a few days weeks ago and she seemed like her normal cheerful, lovely self. 

Oh dear. 

I have to see her. As soon as possible. 

I need to go back home. I need to go back to Airlie Beach. 

I close the glass, sliding door gently behind me. I walk slowly to our master bedroom. I'm so worried, how can this be? 

I switch on the light and walk into the walk-in wardrobe. 

Okay, where is that suitcase? 

On my tip-toes, I reach up high to grab the large suitcase that sits on the top shelve. My heart racing, hands shaking slightly as I put the suitcase on the bed. I open my side of the drawers, picking up and throwing what ever clothes I came across. 

I hear footsteps behind me. 

"Anika, what's going on? . . " 

I hear Darren ask as he stands behind me. I turn around to face him. 

"Umm, my grandmother isn't well . . " 

"She's forgetting things, simple things Lisa told me . . " I tell him. 

Darren's face is filled with confusion. He questions me. 

" . . so you're going back home to Airlie I take it? . . " He asks me. 

I'm still packing what ever I can. Frantically. Clothes, toiletries and just whatever else I can think of packing in this state of panic that I am in. I just need to get to my grandmother and be with her. I want her to know that I'm there with her, by her side. 

I turn back around to face him once again. 

"Yes, I have to go. I need to be there . . " I tell him. 

Darren walks a few more steps towards me. Taking a gentle hold of my hands into his. 

"I understand, do what you need to do . . " 

He says with a reassuring smile. 

I look at Darren. Although I don't see Darren though. It's not Darren . . 

. . it's him. 

How is it even possible that after all these years . . 

. . I still remember him.

to be continued.