I FIND MYSELF LOST IN WHAT YOU THINK OF ME

===

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Tom had been unavailable for most of it, preparing for his upcoming meeting with the Feynman family. He was there during dinner, however, and had grown excited as Angel talked with him about the Animals album. Erebus learned that Tom was the one who had gotten Angel into rock music as he gingerly ate the salad that Clara had made - he had voiced aloud his confusion on why one would eat what appeared to be tree leaves, and Angel had nearly choked on her ramen noodle soup from how hard she laughed - and he silently watched as the small family conversed among themselves, a part of him wondering how much he belonged with them.

They were all so kind to him. So unbearably, incomprehensibly kind to a man they barely knew.

He didn't understand it at all. Was this a display of stupidity on their part? Did they truly see something in him, like Angel did? Or were they just pretending to be kind to him in order to have him act a certain way?

That last one should have made more sense to him, given that he was used to this being the case with the majority of his subjects in Minecraft. However, it didn't - Clara's genuinity and Tom's sincere attitude proved this.

Had Angel really spoken so highly of him that they would act this way? The thought made him feel so warm, so valued, though he couldn't understand why or how he had earned this. He was a murderer, a villain in what her story should have been, had they not grown closer.

Here, in this world, he was still a murderer. This time, however, he was a murderer for her.

It was late in the night when he returned, his heart still pounding in his chest from what he had done. He didn't yet know how to read clocks in this world, but he knew it was late enough that the rest of the family would be asleep. Looking down at his hands, his eyes widened as he saw how stained they were, with a dark crimson the same shade as his Enderman self in Minecraft - it was as if this human form was ripping away, shedding itself like a snake's skin to make way for the dark red flesh.

Shaking his head to clear away those thoughts, he continued on. It was ridiculous; the color didn't belong to him, it belonged to them. Those bastards had been near the park, by some miracle, smoke pouring from their mouths as they giggled and drank an unfamiliar amber liquid. Angel's name had slipped past their lips, and before they were even aware of what had happened, their blood was on his hands, and they were rendered unable to say her name permanently.

Why was he still thinking about them? They were gone now, a distant memory,

He stepped into the dimly lit bathroom, flicking on the small lever to turn on the overhead light. In the closet, he found a rag, which he grabbed, and started to wipe the blood off of his hands. It mainly only coated his knuckles, but he quickly found that it was hard to wipe blood off of his skin without smearing it and making it more noticeable. He needed to wash it off another way.

The thought alone terrified him. He had seen Angel using the faucet to wash her hands, and knew that it dispensed water. Surely that would help to get the blood off, but at what cost? Would the water still hurt him? Or would it be just that - water, tinged a faint red with the blood washing from his hands?

It was all too sudden, the urge, in a way he hadn't been expecting at all - he was overwhelmed with curiosity, with the desire to turn on the water and force his hands underneath the stream. What would it matter if the water hurt him? That would be the expected reaction, one that a part of him believed that he deserved, no matter how far down in his twisted mind that part was.

Stepping forward, he put a hand on the faucet handle and pulled it toward him, jumping slightly at the sight of the water rushing so quickly into the sink. He watched it flow down the drain as if it was going to suddenly jump at him, his hand outstretched over the sink, inches from the water.

Why was he even doing this? It was the middle of the night, he needed to return to his room and wait the night out so that he could spend more time with Angel in the morning. He had more common sense than to put his hand into water intentionally - hell, he was a King, for fuck's sake. He knew better than to do this, he was smart enough to resist impulsive thoughts like this-

He was shaking.

The second he realized this, he drew back his hand, staring at it as it trembled ever so slightly. God, this was happening again, why was this happening to him again? He wasn't even in any danger, was he really that pathetic?

He was lost. What was the point in trying to resist? He was no longer himself. Maybe he should put his hands in the water and let it burn, it would be the only way he would be able to feel like himself again.

The sound of rushing water was only growing louder in Erebus's ears, rising in volume until the simple faucet had turned into a raging waterfall. A terrifyingly familiar tightness around his limbs and chest began to squeeze, pulling him toward that water, forcing him under, burning him, drowning him, choking him until he was screaming, screaming louder than he ever had before, whimpering and begging with everything he had for even a second of relief, and it was so, so real-

"Erebus?"

It wasn't real. She was. Her voice, calling to him, pulling him from that void, from that waterfall.

Turning, he saw Angel standing in the doorframe, looking mildly concerned. "Um... you good?" she asked, tilting her head. Her voice was slightly hushed so as to not disturb Clara and Tom in the other room. "You were just staring at the water, I didn't know if- if you needed anything..."

His heart was still pounding, despite the warmth she brought to it. Forcing his voice not to tremble, he spoke. "Why are you awake?"

Angel shrugged. "Thought I heard a noise," she said. "I was laying awake for a little bit, trying to decide whether I wanted to listen to Animals or not." She chuckled a little bit. "And yes, I'm perfectly aware that it's 2am..."

Upon noticing that Erebus wasn't mirroring her enthusiasm, she moved closer to him. "Are you okay? You can be honest."

Stepping beside Erebus, she looked up at him curiously, watching as his gaze fixated back on the flowing water.

"What do you think would happen if I touched it?" he asked, his voice soft. Angel wasn't exactly surprised by the question, but she couldn't help but frown a little as he asked.

"My first thought would be that it wouldn't do anything," she told him sincerely. "Since I'd assume you're entirely human now... it's not like you can teleport or anything, so I don't think it would do anything to you. Then again, that's just my first thought..."

She reached over, pushing the handle and turning off the water. "There. Now you don't have to see until you're ready."

"What makes you think I didn't want to see now?" Erebus tilted his head, looking back at her. He was inches from her now, inches from her warmth.

"Because you would have done it already."

It was such a simple response that Erebus was mildly upset for not thinking of it himself. He watched her closely, feeling her reach up and take one of his shaking hands with her own and speak, surprising even herself with the question.

"Do you want a hug?"

Taken aback, Erebus was at a loss for words. "What?"

"You know... like we did at the Source," Angel mumbled. Erebus was able to watch the color fill her face until it was a bright red, illuminating even the tips of her ears. "We- We don't have to, I was just worried that it might upset you if I straight-up did it..."

There was a hint of desperation in her request, and who was Erebus to deny her something that he, too, craved?

He closed the gap between them, gently snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. The way that her body practically sunk into his own at the soft embrace made him wonder exactly how long she had been waiting for this moment, how long she had tried her best to replicate this comforting warmth herself, unable to do so.

Angel's head settled onto Erebus's chest, the sound of his heartbeat only continuously confirming that he was here, he was real, he was alive, he was safe. His warmth seemed to permeate into her very bones, filling her with such a wonderful relief that she had only dreamed of, so powerful that she felt her eyes threaten to fill with tears.

"Thank you..." she whispered to him, pulling him slightly closer against her body.

She practically melted at the feeling of Erebus's hand as it settled on the back of her head, slim fingers passing through her hair with a touch like that of moonlit rays shining on the most perfect evening of them all. His head settled on top of hers as his eyes closed, and he fully relaxed against her, realizing that he was no longer shaking, and it was because of her.

"I've had dreams of this moment," Angel mumbled.

Erebus looked down at her. "Really?"

Angel nodded, making sure to keep the motion small so that she didn't disturb him. "A couple times, actually. I hated waking up from them, I always felt so cold afterwards."

"You must like me a lot, then, if you're having dreams about me..."

Angel could hear the smirk on his face as he spoke, and huffed. "So what if I did, hm?" She lifted her head up to look at him, meeting his crimson eyes with her own. "They were nice dreams, you should take that as a compliment."

Erebus tilted his head to the side. "What makes you think I didn't?"

No response came from Angel as she looked up at Erebus, seeing his face mere inches from her own, his hot breath fanning against her skin from slightly-parted lips. Their chests rose and fell in tandem as they gazed at each other, too entranced by the moment to look away. She swore that she could see his eyes softly glowing once more, but perhaps it was just her imagination.

Was this how it would have been at the Source, had Hunter not chosen to shoot them?

"Hey, Angel," Erebus murmured. "I have a feeling you don't want to be alone for the rest of the night, so I had a suggestion."

"Hm?"

He glanced down. "If you think it's weird, that's okay, but I was wondering if you would like for me to stay in your room with you tonight. It might make you feel warm..."

A pink haze settled across Angel's cheeks, but she nodded anyway. "I think I'd like that," she told him sincerely. "As long as you don't, like... do anything to me while I sleep, of course."

Erebus chuckled softly. "The only thing I'm going to do is make you have more good dreams about me, Angel, and I don't think you have a problem with that, now do you?"

Pink faded to a deeper red, and Angel looked away, stepping back. "Asswipe..." she muttered, taking his hand. "Come on. Why do you insist on flirting with me every chance you get?"

She began to lead him to her room, glancing back and huffing at the grin on his face. "It's fun to see your reactions," he said. "Besides, I can't insult you anymore, can I? You saved my life..."

"Aw, so it's not because you're utterly in love with me?" Angel chuckled. It was Erebus's turn to blush, but he quickly found a comeback.

"Do you want me to be?"

"Only if you mean it." Angel shut the door behind her. Erebus noticed the Animals album on her bed, and gestured to it.

"Are you going to listen to that?" he asked. Angel shook her head.

"Nah, I wanna go to bed now," she told him. "If that's alright with you, of course."

Erebus nodded as Angel picked up the album, moving over to her bookshelf to set it with the others that she had. He sat down on her bed, slipping underneath the covers and laying down, watching her as he did so. "How many discs do you have?"

"Records," Angel gently corrected as she moved over to the bed as well. "I have... good god, now I need to count - I have all of Led Zeppelin's albums except for Presence and Coda, so that's six... I have The Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall by Pink Floyd, and now Animals too, so that's nine, I have Tres Hombres by ZZ Top, Sloe Gin by Joe Bonamassa, and - Jesus, is that it? That's all I can list off the top of my head, and that's eleven... I'll count properly tomorrow."

She flicked off the light in her room, crawling on top of the bed and moving to the side where Erebus wasn't, lifting the covers up and settling down in the bed.

"This bed's a lot more comfortable than the other one," Erebus commented. "Maybe that's just because you're in it now..."

"For God's sake," Angel muttered, curling up on her side, facing Erebus. "Go to sleep. I really don't think it'll be a problem for you, just close your eyes and try not to think about anything. Usually going to sleep is dreamless."

She was unable to see his face now that the room was dark, but his concern was clearly expressed in his voice. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't have dreams that I remember that often," she told him. "If you do end up having a dream, it's really likely that you won't remember it. The same goes with nightmares - I've had some pretty bad ones, but the details get really muddy after only a few minutes." She reached out, placing a hand on what she believed to be his shoulder. "Plus, I'll be right here to talk about it or give you a distraction if you might need it."

Angel felt his warm hand take hers, gently holding it as she let it drop from his shoulder. "I appreciate that," he murmured. "I hope you sleep well, Angel."

"I hope you do too," she replied, closing her eyes. It only took a few moments for her to fall asleep, and soon Erebus did as well, their hands still intertwined in turn with their hearts as each other's warmth settled over them like a second blanket.