"The patter of rain is a chorus of raindrops."

― Anthony T.Hincks

There will be two POVs today. Yay or nay?

Rose's POV:

Dilemmas.

Perplexities.

These were the most infuriating feelings in world.

Have you ever had this feeling, when you could not make a stable decision regarding something risky? Did you ever heard that nagging voice that constantly urges you to take a risk, whilst another voice troubles you, reminding you of the impending danger that was bound to come?

I was going through the most aggravating feeling ever. I did not know what to do.

I did not know whether it was okay to trust Marienne.

I did not know whether it was okay to let the man who destroyed the last shard of my soul re-enter in my life.

It's for my son.

But what if he loses his control again? How could I trust a psychopath?

What was the guarantee of him not losing his temper and turning into a demon that was bound to bring harm upon our child's mental health.

If it was worse..... he might even hurt my son physically....

I shook my head, not wanting to think about anything. I had talked with Marienne two days ago and today we had agreed to meet in a nearby restaurant.

I asked him to bring his lawyer to reconstruct some clauses but he denied, saying that today we were going to discuss the clauses only among ourselves and proposing some other possible circumstances and rectifying it. When the contract was reconstructed enough, he would show it to his lawyers.

I pressed a finger over my temples, it was extremely tiring; constantly battling arguing with myself whether it was okay or not.

I felt a kick in my belly.

For a small moment, I felt all my worries vanishing away. I smiled tenderly as I caressed my protruding belly gently. I knew the baby understood my touch when I felt another kick under my palm, this time much harder than before.

"Sorry for not giving you enough attention, little one-" I whispered, sighing as I continued to stroke my baby bump, "Mommy is really worried about something. She doesn't know whether to let Marienne be with us...."

Another kick in response.

Ow. It actually hurts.

I chuckled slightly at his feistiness. "Do you not like the idea of your dad not being with us? Hm?"

My stomach fluttered a little bit, maybe he was playing twirl in there.

"Maybe you do," I whispered lovingly, my hormones getting the best of me.

My heart swelled up at the thought of another life growing inside of me; it was truly miraculous, one could not understand how much of a beautiful and peaceful feeling it was unless they felt it.

I was nurturing a life inside me, nourishing it with parts of me, little by little, my own flesh and blood. I was giving this tiny human myself as it nestled inside me, desperately for it's vulnerable life, basking in the warmth of me.

And I vowed to protect him until my last breath.

The fluttering in my heart increased as I gazed lovingly at the small baby bump through my white outfit.

"Mommy promises you that she would do whatever it takes to protect you. Mommy promises that she will bear your papa for you, only for you. You are everything to mommy, you are the reason I am still living..." A small drop of tear fell over the bathrobe and eventually soaking in it, leaving a small grey patch behind.

"You might not know it, love, but-" I whispered in a broken voice, "But- you are the answer to my long entreaties. Even though you came to me in the most unexpected way- but I love you as it is. I wish to forget the painful past but-"

Suddenly an image of a diabolic looking Marienne flashed in front of my vision.

I closed my eyes as my heart rate accelerated, placing a hand upon it. I gasped as tears of shock poured down my eyes, rendering me completely speechless and at the mercy of the demons that ruled my worst phantasms.

He wasn't human.

I entwined my hands tightly, almost painfully as I closed my eyes shut.

I shook my head, twisting a handful of hair as I tried not to recall the painful memories.

But they kept coming down, one by one- like a nuclear chain reaction-

They were unstoppable.

"Please go away-" I whispered to those memories, my teeth clenched. It hurt so fucking much.

How could he do this?

Torture me and keep me captive?

And then when we had sex....

Be it an one night stand sort of, but, still- it happened and it happened while both of us were unconscious.

He even had the audacity to look disgusted after sleeping with me, be it under the influence of drugs.

Disgusted with whom, I couldn't put a finger around it. But considering the look of comical self realization and his attempted suicide afterwards- I wish it wouldn't be too bold of me to assume that it was directed at himself.

"Baby-" I whispered at my child- "Mommy is sorry. It seems like- she could never forget whatever your dad had done to her. She will try, but it seems like she can't.....'

I choked on my tears, glancing at the shower mirror. Taking a deep breath, I focused on calming myself.

I let my gaze travel on the mirror in front of me, studying myself. My eyes were a noticeable shade of red, my skin was a light pink shade. My eyes traveled to my left shoulder bone- a fade brown scar ran vertically down, disappearing underneath the bathrobe I was wearing.

I was sitting in front of the shower mirror, which we also used as our dressing table- my eyes were droopy, my cheeks flushed. A huge, ugly pimple poked it's head, just in the middle of my forehead.

Wonderful, what a perfect timing.

I noticed some extra fat beside my cheekbones. I pinched my cheek, the nightmares long forgotten.

I can actually pinch a handful of my cheeks! How great is that?!

It means I had gained some extra weight. I didn't look like the walking skeleton like I did before. I was skinny, but my lower belly had some extra fat, making me look like a fish. But now, that adipose was distributed perfectly, I was neither too skinny or fat.

I am going to let my baby eat as much as chocolate he wished; he was solving my weight problem without knowing it.

I could only hope that I could eat normally even after pregnancy. Eating a three course meal without wanting to throw up felt really good.

Sighing, I stood up and slid off my bathrobe as I took my gaze off the mirror. My body told a story, a traumatizing story through each and every scar.

Scars are the sign of a survivor.

Even a simple glance of it, the story of my misery would start to narrate itself in my ears.

I didn't wish for it now, I had to meet Marienne and I didn't want Mama and Calissa to bombard me with questions the moment I stepped out of the bathroom.

Sighing, I slipped into a simple pale pink cotton dress, as it was summer and spring heat was nearby.

But UK has one of the most unpredictable weather, so, it really didn't matter.

I glanced at myself through the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, nose bloated and red; a look that clearly indicated that I had been either crying or had a panic attack.

Neither option was good.

My eyes fell over the assorted makeup on the dresser. When I had been a waitress, I used to apply makeup; it's been a while since I touched a brush.

I grabbed the cushion foundation and dabbed the puff over my cheek and nose; enough to cover my blemishes and redness.

Once satisfied with my work, I examined myself in the mirror.

I could at least convince people that I was normal.

Grabbing my purse I made my way out of the shower.

"So.... you are actually going to meet that psycho?" Calissa eyed me with disapproval as I tied my hair in a ponytail.

Why does she keep referring to him as a psychopath? A psychopath never seek for redemption and a chance to mend himself..... A psychopath doesn't show empathy.

Then again, Marienne might have some ulterior motive that might not know of.

"He seems stable- I am trusting my guts," I replied curtly as I grabbed my black shoe from the shoe rack, my mind wandering off to my child.

"Your guts can be wrong you know-" She crossed her arms, letting out a huff, "Who knows? You know nothing about him, he might be a sick pervert who enjoys getting attention from a pregnant woman. Maybe he gets off thinking that you are carrying his child-"

"Calissa-" I sighed, "Just because we don't know anything; that doesn't mean that means he has wrong intentions. Besides, I don't really care about his character- I am going to meet him for my son; nothing more or less...."

But still, I did wish that he wasn't immoral or depraved like Calissa was assuming him to be.

No matter how much I try to deny the fact that I didn't care about Marienne when he wasn't related to the baby, there was still, a small part of me that desperately wished that he was being sincere.

That he wasn't playing for the sick fun of it.

I couldn't trust him in a millennial, but I still hoped that he wasn't like one of those guys.....

"I am heading out," I called out to Calissa, not wanting to think of negative thoughts. My life was going normally for once and I wanted it to keep going normal.

"Don't forget to call me if tries anything stupid! I am showing up if you don't come back before 9!"

"Understood mom," I grumbled, my emotions doing a full 180 degrees, going from scared to pissed within a span of moment.

I shivered as the cold breeze hit me once I was outside. The musky scent of soil immediately hit my nostril as I took in a deep breath.

The weather was great.

I glanced at my wristwatch, 7:43, it read.

I walked down the street, the restaurant we had agreed to meet up on wasn't far away from home. Mama knew this place well and it had great foods too.

My stomach grumbled as I continued to walk. The first thing I was going to do was to order a huge pizza with extra meat, cheese and tomato sauce and gobble it until I couldn't breathe.

I felt a kick in my stomach.

"You will love that for sure-" I whispered as I caressed the baby bump.

The street was mostly empty today, giving off a mysterious yet intriguing vibe. There was something about solace, something baffling and absolutely beautiful which couldn't be caught when it was riven by bustle.

A gust of wind whooshed past me, ruffling my hair that was tied up in a ponytail. I wrapped an arm around myself, shivering.

After a few more minutes of waking, my destination adorned in bright pink neon letters caught my eyes.

"Rachelle's"

Sighing, I let myself in the restaurant. The aroma of steak and coffee immediately filled my senses, making my mouth water.

I looked around, my eyes searching for him.

We were supposed to meet at 7:30, but it's already 7:55. My little nervous breakdown took it longer.

My eyes roamed around in search of him and then I saw him.

He was wearing a shirt, a black shirt. Top two buttons unbuttoned, exposing some of his chiseled chest and smooth olive skin. His hair was ruffled, sleeves folded, showing his veiny arms.

His turquoise orbs shone with melancholy and dejection as he looked outside of the glass that separated the restaurant from the outer world; his hand holding a glass of beer in it.

It's not the time to have a breakdown.

Neither be attracted to him; it's disgusting.

I gulped and proceeded to him, my insides swelling with frustration and.... fear.

I knew that he couldn't do anything when we were in public- I knew he wasn't harmless for now, but still-

He was the reason for a lot of my nightmares.

So many feelings, so many questions that are yet to be answered, so many dilemmas- and the frustrations that come along with it.

Yet, whenever I took a glance at him- he didn't seem harmful. The three times I had come across him after his reappearance, not once did he seem like the cruel, pretentious monster I had met six months ago at my mama's restaurant.

His eyes were always pained. Like he had stole a rain and put a ocean of sadness in them.

He didn't look scary anymore, much contrary to the image I had painted of him inside me.

I cleared my throat as I stood next to his table, catching his attention immediately.

His eyes that were full of agony a moment ago, lit up like a Christmas tree as he took me in.

I didn't know what to make out of it, but he seemed genuinely concerned.

If all of this was a pretense, he really should consider acting as a career path.

I nodded my head in acknowledgement as I took a seat across him. "Did you order anything?" I uttered as an attempt to make myself look calm and professional.

"No," He pursed his lips, smiling through his eyes as he always does.

Why didn't he smile properly? Like a grinning smile or a toothy smile?

Suddenly, a heavy realization dawned upon me.

Not once had he smiled in our previous encounters. What I mistook as a smile was just a happy glint in his eyes; a glint so powerful, it made him seem happy even without wearing an actual smile.

And suddenly, I had this urge to see him smile.

Something told me that his smile would be really breathtaking. He was a fine man after all. A man who could smile through his eyes and convince me; must have a beautiful one. The happiness that radiated from him, was calling out to me, touching me and lighting up the tiniest part of my soul.

"Um-"

I hate myself.

I jolted from my reverie like someone had poured a bucket full of cold water over me. Only then I realized, I was staring at him.

"Uh-" I pursed my lips, looking away. How much of a disgusting creature could I be? I shouldn't be the one to stare at him. Clearing my throat, I looked at him, only to find him frowning at me.

"Uh-" I avoided his gaze as I picked up the menu, "Please order a steak." My voice was unrecognizable, even to me.

"You must have a thing for steak-" He nodded as he called out to a waiter, humor shining in his eyes. My cheeks flared in embarrassment, as I looked down.

How did he seem so normal?! He shouldn't be this normal for god's sake! Why isn't he yelling at me so that my suspicions get confirmed! If he continues behaving like this- I will try to find the good in him which I am not supposed to do considering the fact that I was aware of the fact that how much of a monster he could be!

I didn't want to suffer from this perplexity anymore! This was frustrating! Was he a good person or a predator?! What was his motive?! Why couldn't he be an asshole like all those months ago so that I could report him to pol-

"Um- Roseline?"

"WHAT!?"

My eyes widened as I became aware of my circumstances. Luckily, not many people were present in the restaurant; otherwise I was sure to be a subject of spectacle.

"I'm sorry-" He looked panicked, "I mean it's not a bad thing to like steak, in fact, steaks are awesome- uh- and marvelous? No need to take offense- I only meant it-"

"I understand-" I sighed out, my eyes widened, "I was thinking about something else...."

"Oh okay," He took a sip from the glass of beer.

"So, which clauses would you like to discuss?" He sat up straight, the playful glint in his eyes vanishing under serious luster.

"Uh-" I took out the black file from my big brown bag and opened the 12th page.

"This says here-" I pointed where the clause was highlighted by a highlighter, reading it out loud, "The signatory cannot deprive the appealer (Here ref. as first party; Mr. Marienne Carlisle Victor) from any right as a parent. Here parent denotes that- father, provider-"

"I understand-" He cut me off, eyeing me intensely, like he had been trying hard to focus, "What about it?"

The question was thrown at me at a slow pace, like he was afraid to find out the answer to it.

"Please add that-" I took a deep breath, "The signatory will have every right to strip off the liberty from the first party as a parent in case of instability, mental or physical abuse, blackmail or harm. The signatory has every right to call off the arrangement if such a situation occurs and the first party can not protest at any cost." I finished, my posture rigid, screaming how serious I was about this whole ordeal.

Marienne stared at me for a moment and then blinked away. "I suppose it is fair. I will have my lawyers add that, anything else?" He enquired, not looking at me.

"Yes, actually there is one more," I tilted the page vigorously, coming to the last page, "In case of first party's absence, the signatory is to bear the expenses of the child. What do you mean by 'Is to'? I am his mother, I am to bear his expenses in every cost!"

Rage pumped in my veins as I impended him with the nastiest glare I could muster up. He didn't call the shots here, I did. I was his mother and it was my responsibility to look after him.

He frowned as he read the clause and then stared up at me, "It's fair, don't you think? I mean think about it, if I support our son I can manage the most luxurious things for him. Of course it would be discussed further later, but for now, allow me to look after both of you."

I narrowed my eyes more, if that was even possible.

He was grating my nerves.

He sighed in defeat, not bothering to break our gazes. He looked annoyed and proud at the same time. "Okay fine. I will remove it."

I smiled, happy with our arrangement.

The musky scent of soil hit me, this time, it was much more sharper and sagacious than before. I looked out, my eyes widening at the realization.

It was going to rain!

Oh my god oh my god mama is not here to stop me!

I can do whatever I want now!

"What's with that smile?" Marienne enquired, his eyes swirling with emotions I couldn't place a finger on.

"Do you smell that?!" I squealed, almost jumping up and down on my seat like a kindergartner, "It's going to rain!"

He frowned, "What's so special about it?"

I gave him an 'Are you serious dude?' look, he had just uttered the most ridiculous question in the universe.

"Well, rains are meant to be enjoyed and I am going to enjoy it while soaking myself.." I deadpanned.

No one was going to stop me this time-

"Well, rains are just a cycle of nature and I have an umbrella for it. You are not to go outside. getting drenched is out of question."

I was seething.

Who was he to tell me what to do and what not to do?

"You are not my mom.." I gritted out, trying hard to remain calm.

"Well, too bad," He leaned back in his seat, humor and mischief shining in his eyes, "You aren't going out."

He was mocking me!

He was actually enjoying infuriating me!

"I have already said, you. are. not. my-"

"You had a pneumonia right?" He enquired, taking a sip from the water bottle, "How did you even fathom that I would let you go out when you are pregnant with my son?"

I huffed, "It's not a big deal, plus, It's only for a little while-"

The melodious sound of rain pouring over broke me mid speech, I looked out from the window, mesmerized.

Rain was nature's own keynote. It had a mellifluous sound, a running blow that was bound to make anyone spell bound. For a moment, I forgot that I was messed up, for a moment I let go of all my burdens and worries as I focused on the hypnotizing dance of the pellucid water drops on the solemn road.

I got up from my seat, throwing the man in front of me an apologetical look and then stormed off.

This was my chance; mama Cassedy wasn't here....

My steps halted in front of the road, just where the awning of the restaurant stopped.

I smiled, extending an arm mirthfully, feeling the small droplets running down the awning and falling on my palm. A shiver ran down me as I felt the cool drop, awestruck and in a trance.

Sprinkles of cool water drops hit my face, making me grin wider.

Without giving it another thought, I closed my eyes and let myself into the rain. A zap of shiver ran down my spine as I felt the cold rain over me. My body adjusted to the temperature as I continued to bask in the lucidity of it.

I wish they purified my soul like how they purified the nature....

Suddenly, I felt something over my head.

I opened my eyes, frowning, only to discover a red umbrella over my head.

Marienne was standing there, holding an umbrella over my head as he stood in the rain. He was completely drenched, his hair was stuck on his chiseled face and his black shirt clung to his body.

He was- why was he not letting himself under the umbrella?

My gaze traveled from his veiny arm to his chiseled neck and then finally catching his eyes. I stared at him, mesmerized, he was already staring at me.

My heart skipped a beat as my mouth fell open.

His eyes, that seemed to express everything- was suddenly undecipherable. I couldn't read those magnetic blues as he stared at me; voicelessly.

The only sound that existed between us, was the melodious dance of the rain and our heavy breathing. We gazed deep into each other, each other's soul.

Me, assessing him.

Him, looking at me.

Me, trying to read him.

Him, assessing me with unrecognizable emotion

Should I trust him?

Should I not?

Should I?

Was it a mistake?

A shard of a moment passed between us without speaking anything. I stared at him as he did the same. We stared at each other, intensely, unblinkingly.

His jaw clenched as he stared at me, his hand still held the umbrella, protecting me from rain as he took the shower upon himself.

Silence spoke louder than words, our silence did the same; but we didn't know what we were trying to convey each other.

His looks were something- it was trying to tell me something- but I didn't know what it was.

I let out a breath, staring at him.

Why are you staring at me like that Marienne?

My heart was beating wildly inside my ribcage, a breath passed between us, then a breeze- caressing both of us as we tried to read each other.

A cool breeze blew, carrying our silent entreaty throughout the storm as the sound of rain and our pounding heart intermingled with each other- losing themselves into each other's being.

Marienne's POV:

I knew that she would be unstoppable from the moment I caught her staring at the heavy shower outside hopelessly.

I knew she was going out despite my protests.

I glanced at the red umbrella I had brought for myself, having every intention to follow her. She wasn't going to catch a cold on my watch.

She stood up abruptly, her looks holding silent apology as she stormed outside.

Should I stop her?

My gaze lingered over her as she stood outside, extending her hand, trying to catch the rain drops.

Why does this seem so familiar?

I grabbed the umbrella and ran after her.

My steps halted just before I could reach to her.

My eyes widened, I felt my heart rate fastening as the shocking revelation dawned upon me.

A memory so hazy- yet as clear as the moonlight- came down crashing over me.

Six months ago...

It was late autumn.

I observed her as she smiled, closing her eyes. Droplets of rain water sprayed over her as she tried to catch the drops from the awning.

I was late. It was mine and Maddy's tenth anniversary. She was going to leave for Russia soon, I had to meet her before she departed. I drove my sports car through the rain as a rush of euphoria engulfed me.

I remember blaming the rain constantly, cursing the hell out of it.

Fucking rain!

Always appearing on the wrong time!

London streets were eerily calm today, no hustling and bustling, no traffic jam. If I sped my car, just even a little bit, I might be able to reach her before the clock hit 9.

I hit the accelerator, taking the speedometer to 100.

And then.....

That evening, still shone brightly in front of my eyes.

The car slipped off, hitting a nearby truck.

"Goodness fucking gracious!" I hit the steering wheel, anger pumping in my veins. My monsters started to resurface, trying to get the best of me.

I clenched my teeth as I tried to sit up.

This wasn't the right time to lose control.

I let myself out, limping, as I felt a sharp pain shooting through my ribcage.

Seriously?!

I kicked the car once and then again- just to vent out the anger, the heavy shower adding more to my fury.

"Will you fucking stop!?" I cursed, looking up at the sky, black dots dancing in front of my vision.

The rain poured over me, soaking my white shirt. I sighed, realizing that cursing wouldn't get me anywhere.

For a moment I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the rain.

I stared at the girl as she made her way into the rain, the heavy shower drenching her.

My heart started thumping painfully in my ribcage as I stared at her, reminiscing the unforgettable memory, my hand tightening around the umbrella.

For a moment I let my worries vanish away, for a moment I felt free.

For a moment, I let myself believe that I was normal, free of demons, free of nightmares.

I pretended to be normal.

I felt oddly relieved; a smile slipped past my lips. It's been a while since I smiled.

Suddenly, a figure in white caught my eyes across the road.....

A lump formed in my throat. It felt like the world had snatched me away from myself, it felt like I was just a lump of nothing as I opened the umbrella and stepped slowly into the rain.

There she was, smiling, enshrining the rain.

I was careful as I walked, I didn't want her to lose that smile..... Ever.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to adjust my vision. Combing my fallen strands backwards, I zeroed my gaze on the figure.

It was a woman in black and white. She had her arms extended as she enjoyed every bit of rain. Her lose hair cascaded down to her waist like a forbidden waterfall- her alabaster skin was flushed.

She was mesmerizing.

I let myself soak in her charm, the one she wasn't aware of. She smiled, her eyes still closed.

I placed the umbrella over her head, slowly. The rain started to pour over me; soaking me.

The only thing I wished for at that moment was for her to open her eyes, I had this sudden urge to gaze into them.

For a moment, I forgot everything. I forgot the world that turned me into a monster, I forgot about Madeline.... much to my shame.

I didn't feel like me; I felt like a completely new person.

Since, I wasn't me; it wasn't a taboo to indulge into her right?

So, for a moment, I allowed myself to pretend that I was a different person; I was a free man as I silently prayed to the deities above to urge her to open her eyes.

As if the deities were hearing me all the time, she slowly opened her eyes.

She must have felt the umbrella over her head, the rain wasn't streaming down over her.

She slowly opened her eyes.

Those brown orbs, those familiar brown orbs that shone whenever their owner was happy. Her eyes was shining with happiness.

Her eyes were radiating happiness. Even though I couldn't see her properly, I knew they reflected the warmth their owner possessed.

The sky lit up with the ferocity of lightening and I could make out their color.

They were brown.

She was gazing at me, her mouth was agape, her cheeks flushed.

There was only a feet between us, but the distance seemed to be a lightyear.

My gaze bore into her light brown eyes as they swirled with unfathomable emotions.

Unbeknownst to me, I allowed myself to smile, unbeknownst to me; the girl had left an unforgettable impact over me.

Whenever, it rained, I thought of her. Even if I didn't want to, for some reason, my mind took me back to her.

And that girl was standing in front of me.

She was gazing at me silently, just like I was at her.

We were trying to read each other. Her gaze questioning and mine praying.

On several occasions, I yearned to see that lady whenever I would have nightmares, she had that much impact on me just from one glance. I called her Rain. Just like rain, she gave me peace, thinking of her, of her carefreeness, made me feel light.

I wanted to have that carefreeness.

But how foolish I was! She was in front of me, but I failed to recognize her.

The painful thump started to turn more agonizing under her intense gaze.

Why are you staring at me like that, rain?

A breeze of silence past between us, our prayers and the sound of rain mingling with each other.

I stood there, watching her as the rain poured over me and she stood there, silently enquiring me.

Suddenly my phone rang, breaking our little moment.

She jolted, breaking from her reverie; looking away immediately.

I thrusted the umbrella at her, taking out my phone. It read "Russel".

I received it, not halting my gaze from her.

Like hell I would let her go now.

"Hello?" I rasped, my voice unbelievably thick even to my ears. At that moment one could even hear my heartbeat if it wasn't for rain.

"Monsieur, the broken pages of the diary was found in the city's local dumpster. Not all, but some. You might want to take a look at it," he blabbered out, nervousness evident in his voice.

It was clear that he had found something worthy.

"Okay." I cut the call.

"Rose?" I whispered softly, her name was like a forbidden prayer.

"Hm?" She was still staring at her toes.

"I will take you to home, you will move in overmorrow, kay?"

She nodded as she offered the umbrella to me.

I let myself under it, gazing down at her.

My rain, I have found you.

We began to walk, to her home; my heart thumping in my ribcage.

I need your lucidity, to purify myself.

I need you to lighten the deepest corner of my soul.

Even though Roseline wasn't mine; Rain was mine.

And I intended to do whatever it takes to keep her beside me....

Roseline walked along with me as I tried to match her steps. I looked away, a genuine smile lighting up my face.

......Forever?

EEEEEKKK!

Marienne knew her! You wanted romance? Well, I didn't even start yet! What do you think?! Lemme know! What do you think will happen after he discovers the missing pages?

Please vote, comment, share, follow me. It would really mean a lot if you could.

Thank you for reading! Read good books to broaden your mind! Love y'all!

#Marise.

Rewritten.