𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕

(the cursed witch, act two)

NINA WASN'T SURE WHY SHE WAS DOING THIS TO HERSELF. Was she trying to hurt herself? Push herself further into her zombie-like stupor? Had she become masochistic and developed a taste for depression and torture?

She knew she should have gone straight to La Push. She felt happy around them, healthy even. This was not a happy or healthy thing to do.

But she couldn't stop herself as she continued to drive slowly down the overgrown lane, twisting through the trees that arched over her like a green, living tunnel. Her body felt like it was on fire, but she focused on the road ahead of her, that really was more of a trail.

She knew why she was doing this. She knew that now she was finally conscious, and no longer stuck in her constant nightmarish state, she could finally think. There was something to search for. Unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted... but he was out there, somewhere. She had to believe that.

Glancing at the clock on the centre of the dash, she saw the date. It had been exactly a year ago that she had moved to Forks and had started at the high school. Perhaps today was what her first day should have been, invisible and characterless.

As she drove further through the trees, the words rang through her head, tonelessly, as though she were reading them rather than having heard them being spoken.

It will be as if I'd never existed.

She knew why she was going there. It was for one reason, and one reason only. She was lying to herself if she said anything different.

The truth was that she wanted to hear his voice again, like she had in her delusional state on Friday. For that brief moment, when his voice came from some other part of her than her conscious memory, when his voice was perfect and honey smooth rather than the pale echo her memories usually produced, she was able to remember without pain.

It hadn't lasted; the pain had caught up with her, as she was sure it would for this fool's errand. But those precious moments when she could hear and see him again were an irresistible lure. She had to find some way to repeat the experience... or maybe the better word was episode.

She had a feeble hope that déjà vu was the key. So, she was going to his home, a place she hadn't been since her ill-fated birthday party that led into a human knowing the existence of vampires, along with her arm scarred by glass.

The thick, almost jungle-like growth crawled slowly past her windows. The drive wound on and on. Nina drove hesitantly. There was not a single sign of life. Not even tire marks through the dirt.

She knew from the last time she had driven there that she just had to keep going. It would show up just as you started to give up on finding it.

Then there was the break in the trees that she was looking for, only it was not so pronounced as before. The flora did not wait long to reclaim any land that was left unguarded. The tall ferns had infiltrated the meadow around the house, crowding against the trunks of the cedars, even the wide porch. It was like the lawn had been flooded—waist-high—with green, feathery waves. And the house was there, but it was not the same. Though nothing had changed on the outside, the emptiness screamed from the blank windows. It was creepy. For the first time since she'd seen the beautiful house, it looked like a fitting haunt for vampires.

She came to a quick stop, afraid to move.

Nothing happened. No profound realization, no crazy voices in her mind or illusions.

She left the engine running as she reached to open the door and stepped out into the sea of green.

Nina approached the house slowly, glancing at the flowerpots that had once been filled with bright flowers, those flowers now being dead from the loss of care. The house was void as she looked through the glass front door. It was clean, like it had been before, though the dust that collected on the floor and stair railings told her what she needed to know.

She stared at the emptiness. Glancing further inside, she could see the piano. The seat was pushed in neatly and the bookshelves that lined the wall behind it were sorted neatly. It looked as though nothing had changed, like there hadn't been a rush at all to leave, like they had already been packed.

She turned her back on the deserted home and hurried back to her car. She was anxious to leave and go back to the human world. She drove 15 over the speed limits, barreling toward La Push.

Both Jacob and Paul were waiting for her. She seemed to finally be able to breathe when she saw them.

"Hey, Neens," They called. She smiled in relief.

"Hey, boys." She waved at Billy, who was looking out the window.

"Let's get to work," Paul said in a low but eager voice, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, laughing as he tugged her toward the garage with Jacob following behind. She was somehow able to laugh.

"You seriously aren't sick of me yet?" She wondered. They must have figured out how desperate she was for company by now.

"Nope. Not yet," Paul grinned, pulling her closer to his side. He was warm, she realized. Too warm. It felt uncomfortable to feel the heat.

When she walked into the garage, she was shocked to see the red bike standing up, looking like a motorcycle rather than a pile of jagged metal.

Her eyes widened in shock as she left Paul's side and walked closer to the bike. Her finger trailed along the shining red metal. "You guys are amazing," She breathed.

The two shrugged.

"Jake gets a little obsessive when he has a project and Quil, Embry and I were bored."

Jake moved to stand by the bike, glancing down at it. "It's not done yet. Should be done soon."

Before she could speak, Paul did. "Do you think you'll still come 'round when these are done?"

"As long as you, Emily and Sam still let me over, I'll be here," She reassured them.

Chuckling, Paul smirked. "Wanting to see Quil again?"

"Well, his rendition of Sexyback was one of the best things I've ever heard," Nina teased.

"Does that mean what I think it does?" Jacob grinned. "You actually enjoy spending time with us. Someone get the news! Nina Evans actually likes people! This is shocking news–"

Nina smacked his arm, trying to hold back her smile. "Shut it."

"Nope! The world's gotta know this–"

Jacob continued, Paul joining in while Nina rolled her eyes at the two overly eager/annoying teenagers.

Nina got home late, as she usually did after an evening spent at La Push. Natalie had already eaten dinner and had left the leftovers on the stove for the teenage witch.

She knew the woman was relieved by her change in personality, or rather that she had begun to act like a living, breathing person once again.

School had its ups and downs the next day. Angela, Mike and Kit seemed ready to welcome her back with open arms—to kindly overlook her few months of aberrant behavior. Jessica was more resistant. Nina had thought over the idea of writing a formal apology for the Port Angeles incident.

Mike was animated and chatty at work. It was like he'd stored up the semester's worth of talk, and it was all spilling out now. Even Kit had shown up during their shift to hang out.

She found it was easier to smile and laugh with them.

Mike put the closed sign in the window while Nina folded her vest and shoved it under the counter.

"This was fun tonight," Mike said happily, sending a sly glance at Kit, who blushed.

"Yeah," Nina agreed, looking up from the counter.

"It's too bad that you had to leave the movie early last week," Kit spoke suddenly, leaning against the counter while Mike left to turn off the lights in the backroom.

Nina was confused for a moment before she realized what he was talking about. "I'm just a bit of a wimp," She shrugged. "Zombie movies aren't really my thing."

He smiled. "Maybe you should go to a better movie. Something you'd actually enjoy."

"Oh?" Nina asked, trying her best not to run out of the building. She could almost feel what his next words would be.

"Like maybe this Friday. With me. We could go see something that isn't scary at all."

Nina wanted to scream. The feeling of guilt was bubbling over, burning her heart as she stared into Kit's innocent blue eyes. She clenched her jaw for a split moment.

"Like a date?" She asked. Honesty was probably the best policy at this point. Get it over with.

He must have heard the uneasiness in her tone. "If you want it to be. It doesn't have to be like that, though. We can go as friends."

Her eyes left his for a moment. "I don't really date now, Kit."

Kit nodded simply, his smile not once falling. "Just as friends?" He suggested.

Her ideas of him being a possible rebound had flown out the window. Now that it was an actual possibility, she felt like she was dying.

"That would be fun. I've got plans this Friday... Next week?"

"What are you doing?" He asked, less casually than Nina thought he wanted to sound.

"I'm going down to La Push again. I've got some family friends down there that I've been reconnecting with." It wasn't technically a lie. They were family friends of sorts. They knew Natalie and enjoyed the woman's company. The only thing she really left out was that she spent her time there building death-trap motorcycles that she hoped would make her see her ex-boyfriend again.

Kit nodded. "Oh yeah. Next week then."

Mike joined them again and Nina let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in.

The two boys walked her to her car, both talking aimlessly between themselves about some new video game. Nina didn't care enough to listen.

"Is this really necessary?" Nina questioned her mother, both women sitting on the ground outside their home in the center of the garden that was hidden by the house.

"Yes," Natalie replied. "You need some fresh air since you were in school all day and what better way to get that than to sit in the garden?"

Nina flicked away an ant that had been crawling up her leg. "Do we have to sit on the patio? We have chairs like right there," She lifted her hand to point only for it to be swatted down.

"Stop talking. Just breathe."

The younger witch sighed, her eyes glancing at the forest line for a quick moment before they met her mothers. She nodded softly and took in a deep breath.

After five minutes of silence passed, Nina squirmed.

"Stop moving," Natalie scolded.

"I can't–" Nina grumbled. "My ass is getting cold."

"For fuck's sake–" Natalie lifted her hand and Nina felt a pillow smack against her head. "Sit on that."

Nina glared at the woman. "Ow."

Two minutes passed. Nina now sat comfortably on the cushion.

"What exactly is this for?" She asked, whispering, hoping to not get hit in the head by another floating pillow.

"You need to reconnect with nature—"

"Nature and I are pretty tight—"

Natalie glared at her. "If you can't do your magic, you need to find a way to find peace. Nature could be a possibility. Focus on the wind blowing against your skin, focus on the sound of the leaves, focus on the smell of lavender. Let it consume you."

For once in her life, Nina listened and did as she was told. A strong feeling of peace washed over her. The pain disappeared for a moment, as did the rest of the world.

She could feel the earth's energy as it flowed through her veins and into the stone she pressed her palms into.

It was grounding, the pure life energy that consumed her.

"Better now?" Natalie asked after a few minutes, when the teens' eyes opened.

Nina nodded. She was shocked that something so simple could calm her down and clear her head so quickly.

"Are you heading out now?" Natalie asked when she saw Nina yanking on her shoes at the front door.

"Yeah," Nina looked up. "Paul just called and said he needed help with his Chemistry homework." She lied easily. Paul had actually called to tell that he and Jake had finished the bikes during the day.

"Oh yeah? You've been spending an awful lot of time with him. Is anything...?"

"Not a chance." Nina blushed. "Besides, I've got a–" she had to force herself to say the word, "–date next week."

Natalie grinned. "And who would that be with?"

The witch zipped up her coat, trying to speed up her process of leaving the house before Natalie could hear all of her secrets. "Kit."

"Oh, he's a sweet boy. Very easy on the eyes–"

"Alright," Nina chuckled. "I better get going before Paul calls me."

She parked her car off to the side of the Blacks' house, closer to the trees to make it easier to sneak the bikes out. When she got out, a splash of color caught her eye—two shiny motorcycles, one red, one black, were hidden under a spruce, invisible from the house.

There was a piece of blue ribbon tied in a small bow around each of the handlebars. Nina was laughing at that when Jacob ran out of the house with Paul by his side.

"Ready?" Paul asked in an excited voice, both boys' eyes sparkling.

"Yeah," Nina nodded. She was nervous now that it was actually happening, though she had majorly prepared herself for the fact that she would most likely be crashing. She just hoped she didn't break any bones or get any visible bruises. Those would be hard to hide from Natalie.

Jacob and Paul loaded the bikes onto the top of Nina's car, checking the sturdiness as they tightened the ratchet straps.

Paul tugged at one of the straps. "Think this is safe on this car?"

"Not at all," Jake replied. "Neens, you're going to have to drive fast but also not hit any bumps in the road, otherwise it's gonna scratch the paint."

The witch nodded, glancing back at the house. Billy was out. He was at Bella's house. She had seen his car in the driveway as she drove past on her way to La Push.

"Let's go," Paul said, his voice higher than usual with excitement. "I know the perfect spot—no one will catch us there."

Nina drove south out of town. She focused hard on not hitting any holes in the dirt road as she weaved in and out of forests—sometimes there was nothing but trees, and then there would suddenly be a breathtaking glimpse of the Pacific Ocean, reaching to the horizon, dark gray under the clouds. They were above the shore, on top of the cliffs that bordered the beach here, and the view seemed to stretch on forever.

Nina was driving slowly, so that she could safely stare out across the ocean now and then, as the road wound closer to the sea cliffs. Jacob and Paul were talking about finishing the bikes, but their descriptions were getting technical, so she wasn't paying close attention.

That was when she noticed four figures standing on a rocky ledge, much too close to the precipice. She couldn't tell from the distance how old they were, but she assumed they were men. Despite the chill in the air today, they seemed to be wearing only shorts.

As she watched, the tallest person stepped closer to the brink. Nina slowed automatically, her foot hesitating over the brake pedal. And then he threw himself off the edge.

"No!" Nina shouted, stomping down on the brake.

"What's wrong?" Jacob shouted back, alarmed.

"That guy—he just jumped off the cliff! Why didn't they stop him? We've got to call an ambulance!" She threw open her door and got out, pulling out her cellphone as her shaking hands tried to type in the number. She couldn't believe what she had just seen.

Jacob and Paul laughed, and she spun to stare at them wildly. How could they be so calloused, so cold-blooded?

"They're just cliff jumping, Neens. Recreation. La Push doesn't have a mall, you know." Paul was teasing her as he walked around the car to her side and grabbed her phone, deleting the number before she could press call.

"Cliff jumping?" She repeated, dazed, as Paul placed the phone back into her hand. She stared in disbelief as a second figure stepped to the edge, paused, and then very gracefully leaped into space. He fell for what seemed like an eternity to her, finally cutting smoothly into the dark gray waves below.

"Wouldn't it hurt?" She slid back into her seat, still staring wide-eyed at the two remaining divers. "It must be a hundred feet."

"Well, yeah, most of us jump from lower down, that rock that juts out from the cliff about halfway." Jacob pointed out his window. The place he indicated did seem much more reasonable. "Those guys are insane. Probably showing off how tough they are. I mean, really, it's freezing today. That water can't feel good." He made a disgruntled face, as if the stunt personally offended him.

Paul leaned forward from the backseat. "Oh, don't be a wuss, Jake. It's not that big of a fall."

Nina turned back to look at him with a look of surprise. "You jump off the cliff?"

"Sure, sure." He shrugged and grinned. "It's fun. A little scary, kind of a rush." Nina looked back at the cliffs, where the third figure was pacing the edge. She'd never witnessed anything so reckless in all her life. "See? That's Embry, I think. Sam was definitely the first to jump, then it was probably Jared and Quil after them."

"Could I do it?"

"If Quil can do it, anyone can–" Paul was cut off by Jacob, "Nina, you just wanted to call an ambulance for Sam."

Nina watched the waves crash softly against the rocky cliff. She could faintly see the four men's heads bobbing.

"I want to try."

Jacob and Paul sent worried glances at each other before they eventually nodded slowly. "Fine. But on a warmer day, okay?"

Nina had to pull her eyes away from the cliff. "Fine."

Paul leaned forward again. "Are we going to try out the bikes or not?"

"Okay, okay," Nina chuckled at his exasperation and put her seatbelt back on. The engine was still running, roaring as it idled. They started down the road again.

"Was that really Embry and Quil? I can see Sam and Jared doing that, but..."

"What? Quil seems like too much of a scaredy cat?" Paul teased, bumping Jacob's shoulder, earning an eye roll.

"Well..." Nina sighed. "Somewhat, yeah."

"It's normal now," Jacob shrugged. "Ever since he and Embry joined Sam's cult."

"Sam has a cult?" Nina was kind of impressed by that. She had always assumed he would be a boring youth group leader in his spare time.

He laughed once at her reaction. "Not like that. I swear, they're like hall monitors gone bad. They don't start fights, they keep the peace." He snorted. "There was this guy from up somewhere by the Makah rez, big guy too, scary-looking. Well, word got around that he was selling meth to kids, and Sam Uley and his disciples ran him off our land. They're all about our land, and tribe pride... it's getting ridiculous. The worst part is that the council takes them seriously. Embry said that the council actually meets with Sam." He shook his head, face full of resentment. "Embry also heard from Leah Clearwater that they call themselves 'protectors' or something like that." Jacob's hands were clenched into fists, as if he'd like to hit something. Nina had never seen this side of him.

"Oh cool it, Jake. You're just sour you weren't cool enough to be invited in."

"And you were?" Nina questioned, glancing at Paul in the rearview mirror.

"Of course I was, princess."

She glanced over at Jacob. "You don't like them very much, though?"

"Does it show?" He asked sarcastically.

"Well... It doesn't sound like they're doing anything bad. I mean, if they let Paul in... and Quil, I can't see Quil jumping people." She tried to joke, hoping to make him a little happier. "Just sort of annoyingly goody-two-shoes for a cult."

Paul scoffed.

Jacob gave her a look, silently telling her they would talk later when Paul wasn't listening.

"You can stop anywhere along here," He said.

Nina pulled over and cut the engine. Her ears rang in the silence that followed. It was slightly awkward now that Sam's cult had been brought up, what with Jacob not being a member and Paul being a member. They both got out, one on each side, to lift the bikes off the roof without scratching the paint. While they were busy, Nina tried to read Jacob's expression. Something more was bothering him. She'd hit a nerve.

Paul smiled half heartedly as he pushed the red bike to her side, leaving Jacob alone with the other one. "Happy late birthday. Are you ready for this?"

"I think so." The bike suddenly looked intimidating, frightening.

"We'll take it slow," He promised. "You'll be fine, Neens."

The witch smiled and nodded, staring out at the empty road they would soon be riding on.

"You don't think I'm crazy, do you?"

He leaned against the bike, crossing his arms as a small grin crossed his lips. "Crazy? Not at all, princess. You're just going through what every teenager does. A little teen rebellion never hurt no one."

"You wanna test drive this one before I try it?" Nina asked, gesturing to the shining red bike that he leaned against.

"Oh? So if it crashes, it will crash with me on it instead of you?"

"Precisely. You look much more durable than me."

He grinned, lifting his arm to flex his muscles, making her roll her eyes.

A few minutes later, Paul took off on the bike, speeding down the road, clearly showing off. Jacob approached her with the second bike.

"See? Show offs," He chuckled, pointing at Paul who happened to be doing wheelie. "They're always showing off—like the cliff thing... and whatever he's doing now. They act like... like, I don't know. Like tough guys. I was hanging out at the store with Embry and Quil once, and Sam came by with his followers, Jared and Paul. Quil said something, you know how he's got a big mouth, and it pissed off Paul. His eyes got all dark, and he sort of smiled—no, he showed his teeth, but he didn't smile—and it was like he was so mad he was shaking or something. But Sam put his hand against Paul's chest and shook his head. Paul looked at him for a minute and calmed down. Honestly, it was like Sam was holding him back—like Paul was going to tear us up if Sam didn't stop him."

He groaned. "Like a bad western. You know, Sam's a pretty big guy, he's twenty. But Paul's just sixteen, too, shorter than me and not as beefy as Quil. I think any one of us could take him."

"Tough guys," She agreed. She remembered Sam walking her through the forest. He had carried her for what she assumed to be miles without any strain.

"Isn't Sam a little too old for this kind of thing? I mean, he's married to Emily now. Wouldn't she be... against gang activity?"

"I don't even know anymore," He sighed. Nina could tell something else was bothering him.

"What's really bothering you? About the Sam thing, I mean? Is there something else?" She watched his face. He grimaced, but he didn't seem angry. He looked at the dirt and kicked his shoe against the front tire of his bike again and again, like he was keeping time.

He sighed. "It's just... the way they treat me. It creeps me out." The words started to rush out now. "You know, the council is supposed to be made up of equals, but if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do. Why his opinion counts the most. It's got something to do with his father and his father's father. My great-grandpa, Ephraim Black, was sort of the last chief we had, and they still listen to Billy, maybe because of that. But I'm just like everyone else. Nobody treats me special... until now."

That caught her off guard. "Sam treats you special?"

"Yeah," He agreed, looking up at her with troubled eyes. "He looks at me like he's waiting for something... like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday. He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it... Actually, he kinda treats me how he treats you."

His words made her eyes widen. For so long, her mind had been foggy and unclear. She hadn't even realized the strange looks Sam gave her when she came over.

"What else is there?" Nina asked, watching his foot keep its rhythm against the tire.

He frowned, his eyebrows pulling up in a way that looked sad and worried rather than angry. "It's Embry. He's been avoiding me lately. He hasn't been around since that first day you came over."

Nina's brows furrowed. "You've been hanging out with me a lot," She remembered, feeling selfish. "Have you still been spending time with Bella?"

"Of course," Jacob reassured her. "But no, that's not it. It's not just me—it's Quil, too, and everyone. Embry missed a week of school, but he was never home when I tried to see him. And when he came back, he looked...he looked freaked out. Terrified. Quil and I both tried to get him to tell us what was wrong, but he wouldn't talk to either one of us."

The witch stared at Jacob, picking against her already chipped nail polish. He watched his own foot kicking the rubber as if it belonged to someone else. The tempo increased.

"Then this week, out of nowhere, Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of them. He was out on the cliffs today." His voice was low and tense. He finally looked at her. "Nina, they bugged him even more than they bother me. He didn't want anything to do with them. And now Embry's following Sam around like he's joined a cult."

"And that's the way it was with Paul. Just exactly the same. He wasn't friends with Sam at all. Then he stopped coming to school for a few weeks, and, when he came back, suddenly Sam owned him. I don't know what it means. I can't figure it out, and I feel like I have to, because Embry and Quil are my friends and... Sam's looking at me funny... and..." He trailed off.

"Have you talked to Billy about this?" She asked. His anxiety was spreading to her. She had chills running down the back of her neck.

Now there was anger on his face. "Yes," He snorted. "That was helpful."

"What did he say?"

Jacob's expression was sarcastic, and when he spoke, his voice mocked the deep tones of his father's voice. "It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob. In a few years, if you don't...well, I'll explain later." And then his voice was his own. "What am I supposed to get from that? Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty coming-of-age thing? This is something else. Something wrong."

Nina sighed. She could see how much this was affecting him. She, against her own will, wrapped her arms around him. "It'll be okay, Jake." She gently (and very awkwardly) patted his back. She hadn't hugged someone in a long time. It was weird.

"We'll figure it out, okay?" Nina promised him, pulling away after a few seconds. "If you need to, I'm sure Charlie would be willing to let you stay with him and Bella. That man practically worships you. And if not, you can always sleep on the couch at my place. I'm not willing to give up my bed, though."

Jacob smiled slightly. "Thank you, Neens." He could hear Paul driving toward them now. "Just watch your back, okay? Paul never used to hang around me till you came around."