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𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

min kjære, my darling

læreren min, my teacher

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 :

suicidal thoughts and ideations 

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Those few months of solitude made for scolding hot memories that flooded by behind his brightened blue eyes. How he longed to reach out, to touch the ones who he cared about. Chains held him down, forcing down his pleas for help amidst the chaos. Thor, who should have known he wouldn't do this. Earth, the place he planned to return to once he escaped the harsh grip of his father's watchful eyes, now in ruin because of him.

Now watching from the outside of his mind, Loki begged to whatever could hear his cries for help. His voice was not his own, his eyes a wistful blue that were nothing compared to his usual emerald green ones. He could barely handle his breathing, so calm and steady when in reality his mind was wrapping around itself, unable to gain simple control of his movement. This was the torture of mind-control, and he would never wish it upon another.

How was he going to look his brother in the eye again? His mother, his father, his people? After this mess he would be seen as a monster, although he could see why they would consider this normal behavior. His pranks had been elaborate on Asgard, but never had he done harm upon another that was not reversible through simple spells! The fake Loki looked down at the ground, smirking to the clean floor reflection of itself. A taunt to break his spirits further. Hidden inside that cold, remorseless smile was a broken man who wanted free from his captor. He would tell them everything, explain to them that it wasn't really him. His eyes would be the proof! Alas, he remained under this heated spell of fire and mental bonding his magic couldn't break on its own.

When Pandora looked him in the eyes for the first time in over a millennia he felt peace. The way her magic moved around the room, unable to be seen by any other than otherworldly beings, gripping the edges of his skull and spine, checking out his dangerous mental prison. As she focused on him he felt the bright energy flow through his hands and over his cheek, her body feeling so hot against his naturally cold skin. If this were any other meeting he would be able to reach out to her, share some of his magic with her, yet it remained trapped under the cloak of the cage.

His few fleeting thoughts unseen by his warden were of the way he longed to keep his treatment of New York undisclosed for her sake. The shame bubbled in his chest as she took a step back from him, her hand pressed into his. Did he remember the man who allowed him to learn small bits of Asgardian magic, the one who healed the wounds given to him by his own father? Would the atrocities he'd committed sully the few comforting memories from his youth? Before his turning and further destruction? Loki desperately hoped not. For his sake and the sake of his conscience.

"Time has not been kind to you," was all Pandora seemed to manage. The Giant's heart dropped in his chest at her icy tone, almost dripping in unresolved malice. His head cocked away as he faced the floor, his brother's hand on his shoulder all the more prominent in his senses. "Coming back after all these years to torment the planet you used to vacation on in your free time isn't the best look, is it? So..." she paused for a second as his eyes met hers. When the clash of blue was noticed, she continued, "unlike you, Loki Odinson. So very, very unlike you."

"Well," he internally cringed at the nonchalant tone. He felt it was ripping with ego. Loki's owner spoke again, "I did say I would bring greatness when I came back, didn't I?"

"The times you spoke of greatness you told epic tales of eight-legged horses and golden apples, not total world domination," Pandora said with great displeasure. Her bright orange hair began to pulse with energy as she wrapped it around his wrists. The extension made the true Loki almost cry with delight, finally able to be closer to her magic that he missed so dearly. However, before he could relish in the close contact, she spoke again, "One does not just lose one's wits about them. Not after everything you taught Niklaus and I about safety and how to be a good magic user. This games against all that you know and..." She looked away from him and whispered, "this just can't be what you've become."

The way her voice cracked at the end made his heart break even further than any of his torture sessions could. How she seemed so lost in her feelings, unable to separate her past with him as she glared into his icy blue eyes. How he had failed her in every way humanly possible. It was his fault she had to see him in this state. What would have happened if he'd been strong enough, not let his feelings of abandonment get in the way of being saved by his own father, who he knew despite his failings as an emotional caregiver loved him as his own son of Asgard. Because the pain he felt was his fault, brought on by a weakness in his heart that dragged him down into those molten hot chains. He melted the skin off of himself and let his magic do it. How he felt everything now was his doing, and how he would do anything to make it stop.

"Does it pain you to be so disappointed in me?" Loki couldn't tell if he or the warden said it. The second part was not him, however, "To have your teacher become the monster he was always meant to be... what a tragedy, min kjære. Do you think that if I would have done my job correctly that you would have joined me?

Such a hopeless line from the warden. Pandora wouldn't hurt anyone unless they were in her way. A kind and loving friend she'd been in the years they knew each other, always looking for a way to ease Klaus' pain. Her face contorted in a way he hadn't expected, however, and Pandora let out a pitiful laugh as she worked her magic all around him, examining every crevice of his being. In her attempt to find his soul, she found something short of damned near nothing. Those green eyes still fixated on his newly made blue ones, she finally found the edge of the cage, the magic he'd taught her as a teenager himself beginning to unravel the cloak of darkness.

"I'm not disappointed, læreren min, simply saddened that the devils of this universe finally got to you," she said softly as she saw the rest of the team finally becoming agitated by their exchange. Pandora looked to them, face cold as stone. "Loki Odinson was my teacher when I was a young magical being and I am sure that this is not him. Not truly. His behavior does not match what I remember. His magical signature is cloaked, but hardly in the way he used to do it. There is nothing more he could have been taught on Asgard by his mother, which is why he came here to teach others with the same capacities as he. I have no doubt that he has been meddled with, so to speak, as his plans for Earth have never been malicious or so... ambitious," she finished.

The Avengers gave Pandora a look as to say Are you kidding me? Fake Loki sighed and shook his head at his old student as he chuckled softly to himself. On the inside, Loki was sure that she could crack him out of this prison of his. If any magical being on this newly damned planet could, it would be Pandora. These longing thoughts had to remain his own and his own only, lest the warden do something to harm the girl he would never wish to lay a harmful finger on. He would never forgive himself if he let himself hurt her. 

"What do you mean Loki has been to Earth before?" Thor questioned quite loudly. Of course, his older brother had never taken much interest in Loki's frequent outer world travels and Loki hadn't cared to tell him where he went on vacation half the time. Earth was Thor's realm of expertise, the legends created about Loki mostly a fixation of what Thor believed his brother to be like. The entire royal family had been construed by his theories and his legendary tales, even if they were only one side to Asgardian history. Thor sent Loki's former pupil a light-hearted smile that hid the pain of his ignorance. "I don't really see him as the teaching type, either. Much too impatient."

It was the opposite with Pandora and Klaus. How eager they'd been to learn the ways of Asgardian magic, to find out that he was more than just a legendary prince of Asgard. He spent many hours teaching Klaus the basics of magic, allowing him to throw as many tantrums as he needed while he sorted out his energy levels, that of which had been dampened by the spell his mother put on him. He, however, did not know that bit. Loki thought it best to not disturb the boy's safety, even if it meant omission of that truth he figured out their second week of training.

Pandora, how her quick wit meant fast-paced learning as mastery came quickly. While Loki loved to teach her faithful friend, Pandora always had a special place in his heart. They could go on walks for hours as he told tales of other worlds and galaxies beyond her understanding. The curious smiles and nods she gave when he expressed how he wanted to stay on her planet when he managed to get away from the Allfather, his father. Loki sometimes wondered up in his room on Asgard if his absence would be too much for their odd relationship. What if the distance meant she could no longer feel his magic as it had been while they were young and innocent.

What burned on his mind now was how Klaus hadn't said anything to him, made any indication he would speak to him, or of him at all. While one of the loudest and most difficult boys he'd met, as a man he knew how to stay quiet. Silence. Just pure silence. It pained his heart to know he'd rendered such a charismatic and talkative man speechless. Nature knows he didn't have enough good influences in his life, but he took away another. It's all your fault, the warden seemed to say, Everything is your fault. It always is. Everyone is better off without you.

"There's much you don't know about your brother," Pandora snapped at Thor, eyes tinted a bright white. "The magic that surrounds him is not of Asgardian origin, or of Earth. Unless he's been halfway across the galaxy I doubt he would be able to learn such a cloaking spell. At the back of his mind there is something wrong." While she knew Thor wouldn't understand, Klaus would know what she meant. The bright-haired woman looked directly in Loki's blue eyes and asked, "What is the word in my native tongue that my mother taught you when I first brought you to her?"

He loved that word. How calm it sounds on the tongue. Pandora refused to tell him what it meant, saying that the language must remain a secret. Even Klaus couldn't translate it for him, as he only knew a few phrases in that primordial nativity. The warden hadn't gotten to that word, he wouldn't think of it during his sessions. He would never willingly expose his student's secrets to him. Loki didn't know if he even knew of her, or of what her mother came from. 

"Your mother?" The façade was breaking. Loki hid himself deep inside, even as his chains tightened around him, bringing pain to his magical aura. "I cannot pronounce it after all these years." A lie. He'd written it down in journals and even created a spell with it. Pronunciation is complicated, yet simple to him after a millennia of practice. The fake Loki looked up into those beaming emerald eyes and spat, "There was no need for me to remember, Pandora."

Such a shameless lie from the warden. Pandora didn't take his bait to anger her, instead silently telling Thor to move away so she could inspect him. The humans in the room remained quiet, almost as if Pandora's magic overwhelmed them. Loki internally laughed at how she could do that with her presence, her powerful being too much for such mere humans. When she put a hand on his cheek it was over, blood rushed to that place and bright green magic wrapped around his body. All but his eyes would be covered in it.

The slow draw of his chains made him groan in pain. Loki wished she could be gentler with him, but alas, the manacles that bound his magic down needed more than the simple tug upwards into the abyss of the magical realm to remove. This was steady as if she did not trust herself with the warden's removal. Why had she not tried to ask where he'd been? Telepathy was easy for such a powerful woman, yet she let him be alone for this. Loki shoved away the thoughts, hoping he wouldn't have to feel scorched for much longer as the warden attempted to bring him back into his grasps. 

"As if he could forget such a thing," Klaus muttered under his breath, his hands in his pockets. "You would remember that like I can remember the names of my brothers."

"The same ones you keep in coffins?" A low blow, even for him. Klaus' eyes darkened as he gave him a piercing glare. Loki couldn't tell if it was him or the warden that said that, but he sure as Hel hoped it was the latter. "Don't act so cold towards me, Niklaus Mikaelson. Was it not I who taught you when no other would? Was it not I who made sure your mother only tucked away your wolf side after your mother's werewolf curse, made sure it didn't kill you the next full moon? I made it so you could survive after that ordeal. If it were not for I, you would not be here to glare at me and judge all my decisions."

The Avengers did little to question their conversation, simply sitting still and waiting for something better to do. This must have been entertaining for them to watch: three practical gods arguing like they were family. Of course, they were a family, a thousand years ago. Loki played the role of older brother or father to Klaus and... Loki didn't know where he stood with Pandora. She was a sister to Klaus, obviously, but the dark-haired prince couldn't manage to see her in the same light. They were closer than siblings yet they did not share the same relationship as Klaus and Pandora. Loki wondered if she ever questioned what they were the same way he did, but he'd never asked for her opinion on the matter.

Klaus refused to react to such behavior from his former teacher. He wouldn't give him the time of day. While his temper is often easily ignited and could set the world aflame if the wrong person were to light his fuse, Loki did not deserve to see him so worked up. When he chose that he would destroy himself, not the people around him, as he did when he felt he was not worth much more than a bastard and a murderer.

"Thor," Pandora started, looking over at the muscular blonde Asgardian prince, then at Loki and the Avengers before continuing, "you were foolish to think that this was your brother. Not only is he cloaked, he isn't himself. At all. Someone is using his body for their own wickedness. From as much as my teacher has told me, Asgard has no current enemies. If that has changed, do enlighten me as to who would take over the mind of your younger brother."

For a moment it looked as if Thor was ready to either throw Pandora out the window or himself. He'd been so quick to dismiss his brother's odd behavior and say that it was in no way out of the blue. Never once had Loki done something on this scale, nor had he done things to be particularly malicious before. Perhaps he'd acted out of jealousy and spite for the way the two of them were raised in the castle, but that could only be tracked back to one of his pranks, the one where he let the Jotuns into Asgard. Thor shook his head in defeat at the reminder. Had Loki really been calling out for help that time? Was he himself a bad brother for not noticing this sooner?

"I mean for nature's sake, man," Klaus shook his head at the older prince, "his bloody eyes are green. How do you not see the fact that his current pair are bright blue, just as that stupid stoney staff is over there?" The Original pointed to the Scepter than had been used to ensnare Loki, "Process of deduction is failing with you lot. His eyes in almost every single depiction of him on Earth have shown him to have them with such color. No research, no common sense out of the only other practical god in the room, and simply zero bloody magical bones in any of your bodies. Do any of you even understand basic cloaking or fire spells? You know, the ones you would use to hide from a dog or ignite a flame with?"

Silence enveloped the area once more as the Avengers looked down at the floor, then to each other. Loki wanted to cry at the uselessness of these humans. He should have known none of them would be equipped with magical experience. Only a select few families possessed such knowledge, and many were in hiding due to the fear that one of their own would become the Scarlet Witch. Whatever magical ability these people had was caked in ignorance and generations of persecution by Christianity.

Before the torture he would've been angry at Thor, wholly upset that his own brother hadn't recognized him, but now he was just plain numb to this. How could he not? After years of avoidance on both of their parts the brothers didn't know one thing about each other. Loki toyed with the thought that he in fact did know his older brother, but as he saw him stare blankly out the window he threw away this farce in tempered aversion. This hollowness became him, implanted by hideous beings born from powerful magic. Thor didn't understand what he'd been through that past four months, how he was denied basic needs and treated as nothing more than a mind slave to him.

But how dare his brother not take the time to care?

"If he's been under the mind stone....?" Barton trailed off, not wanting to think that his captor had actually been captive himself. How they'd all been played by forces treacherous and daunting, taken for fools of this damned planet. Barton showed nothing on the outside, but his aura was akin to sympathetic care. Better than Thor, of whom still couldn't believe his credence to be false, invalid. "How do you suspect we figure out how to take him out of the mind stone's manipulation? I had to be hit across the head by Nat. Loki over here was beaten half to death by Hulk and still hasn't been moved away from it."

"The only reason why it took so little for you, Barton, is because Loki didn't want you under the influence of the stone in the first place. Magic requires reason and desire, that of which Loki had neither of. Læreren min is in the real deal. Whoever is inside can hear us as well," Pandora explained calmly.

"Our options?" Romanoff repeated.

"The first way would be to use complex spell work. Unfortunately I don't think Loki has anything on him from his keeper, making that useless." Pandora hummed for a second before looking back over at her former teacher, who rolled his eyes at her. "Although, if all of you give me the chance to get something from his rooms on Asgard I may be able to break this cage and bring him back to his senses. Everything on him now is.... Fake. Very fake. All an illusion to make himself look put together when in reality I believe he's the opposite. Whatever state his body is in will need treatment by Asgardian healers as well. No matter how versed I am in Asgardian healing practices, I believe this is out of my territory. Broken bones may be the least of our worries with Loki.

"We aren't counting his psychological state right now, which must be atrocious after having slaughtered hundreds of innocents. I don't think he's used to killing," the redhead finished solemnly, looking down at her long, painted black nails.

No, he wasn't used to it. After a millennia of battles, magic, and casualties, he couldn't manage it any longer. Never before had he laid his hands on a civilian. Those were for his brother to handle. How he had been the one with shreds of humanity and calmness, reduced now to a killing machine. Loki couldn't look at a knife when he got out of this. He wouldn't look at weaponry. Never again would he take part in a battle, or any training exercise. He wished to hide away with his books, use his mind and never again... The very thought of it made him want to throw himself off a rooftop or cut his own throat.

It hit him like a battalion. They would never look at him the same way again. Never would they see him as the teacher who would do anything to protect them and his family. Nature above, they were his family. Something akin to it. Their closeness for that decade remained the best part of his life. How had he managed to screw that up? Over a sibling rivalry! To prove to his father he didn't need him anymore. What a shame to his name. Of course he needed him, needed everyone and everything. Right now he couldn't be left alone. He was so tired of being alone that the very thought of it made his chest bubble with panic.

Now he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs: I love you, I missed you, I'm sorry for being such a damn waste of space, I'll do anything you want me to do, I can't live without you, I need you more than I've ever needed anything in my life, I'll be whatever you want me to be, please don't leave me, I don't want you to leave me, please stay with me. All of it would be true.

Yet the warden said nothing to Loki or to the group. That quiet smirk of knowing brought him to tears. Pandora turned away from him completely now, her attention on Niklaus and the rest of the Avengers, who didn't seem impressed to find out that what they thought happened in New York wasn't the full story. People hate that, when their knowledge and reality is questioned by someone who just walked in the room. Loki had seen that face on a thousand young men and women when he tried to explain how things actually worked when it came to magic and the world. His wit was never appreciated by the masses. Those in higher positions had to be right. Who would believe a fifteen year old second born when they say that putting the roof higher would lead to less casualties? Nobody. It worked, but he didn't get any of the credit he deserved.

"So he'll be fixed. What does that matter to any of us?" Clint questioned the immortal. "If he's up in Asgard he'll just be away. No need for more discussion, right?" He finished.

"Not exactly..." Pandora trailed off for a second before smiling over at Barton, "The prince will need to be watched for various reasons. I suspect that when he goes up to Asgard that the Royal Court will want to try him for many crimes against humanity. We can't exactly let that happen, as the full story is not known by those on Asgard to my knowledge." Thor nodded sadly. "Loki has had just as much control over his actions as you did, agent Barton, and so he shouldn't be charged with any crimes committed when under the influence of whoever has control of him right now. If we get up there and find a way to release him he should be able to come back down to Earth to give testimony and make sure he is allowed to visit the planet."

"Wait, so you want him on Earth after this is all over?" Banner asked, shocked at the idea that Loki would be staying here any longer. "If all of what you say is true, I agree that he shouldn't be punished for it, but he still tried to take over the planet. That stuff is all caught on tape and played to the people. If he's seen here people may try to hurt him."

"That's what cloaking spells are for," Klaus chimed.

"We still have —"

"Do you not want him here?" Pandora asked fiercely, "Because that's what it sounds like to me. This is final. Loki has been trying to get away from his damned father for a millennia, attempting to wriggle his way out of his grasps in order to come to this planet to live with Klaus and I. This isn't a request, it's final. If you want any chance of me and Klaus on the Avengers you'll listen to me right now. It's either us or those damn assassins with baggage I'm sure won't last two days in this tower, and will bring down the place with their fighting over who killed who's girlfriend or whatever."

Loki gave a weak smile at the gesture of loyalty to him. He didn't blame Banner, as he'd seen the horrific things Loki did while under the influence of the stone. Who would want someone so wretched and defiled on their planet? Loki gave himself no sympathies in these thoughts, the only glimpse of positivity being the forlorn longing for freedom. A cage is no place for a prince, his mother told him as a child, and no home for a good man. While Loki saw himself as broken beyond repair, he still is a prince to himself and others. That had to be enough to get him out of his rotting mind cell.

But could her loyalty be tested when she finds out the details of what he did? Even as her former teacher and shoulder to cry on when the village kids decided her grace was not worth respecting he couldn't imagine he could be in her good graces for much longer. Pandora's true companion has and will always be Klaus, not he. He came second to that Original Werewolf, and the knowledge sent a pang of jealousy to his heart. Who am I to her? I will never compare to another friend, His logical side reminded him at once, You're all but a good friend in the end when Niklaus Mikaelson is her platonic soulmate. Never will you be good enough for her. You are not worthy of her grace or compassion. Stop trying so hard to love someone who will eventually leave you in the dust.

Ridiculous! Loki couldn't bring himself to believe his worst thoughts. That last strand of positivity clung to her beautifully dressed and magical form. Even if he was not her first, the best to be with, she would always be his first. The first student, the first friend he'd ever had, the best person in his eyes. By the Underground, he'd missed her after these thousand years. How she'd grown in her stance and her tongue. He couldn't help but notice how she wore a snake on her neck. A necklace worth more than his life, he's sure, and it fitted her like fine wine during a royal feast.

And yet these battling thoughts felt like the worst of this situation. Whether or not he would be locked away in a physical cage didn't matter. Loki felt himself selfish for wanting to reach out to her, to open up his mind even if it meant pain to both sides. After so many years of being closed off and unable to read that's all he wants. That passion in the magic and their bond he couldn't put his finger on as to name. The way she looked at him just beckoned this futile desire to break free of his chains. Escape. He needed to escape, lest he ruin himself and everything he's ever loved. Fuck, he still thought he'd ruined himself. Perhaps it was the hope of not destroying the rest of the world, then.

"We could be dealing with an escape," Romanoff sighed.

"Okay, let's look at what we're dealing with then," Pandora spoke as she became more heated, heart beating faster and control over her spectral form failing almost entirely. "He escapes, I catch him and bring him back," she sends Romanoff a nasty look before continuing, "It wouldn't be him, but whoever has taken residence in him. I have faith that when we get Loki back he'll be more than willing to help us figure out who actually invaded New York. After he gets treated for whatever wounds are under the glamour, of course."

They didn't argue after that.

---

Just a warning that the next few chapters will be flashback chapters to better explain the relationship between Loki, Klaus, and Pandora. You do need to read those chapters, even if you would rather look forward rather than back. The past is important and everyone is created through it, including characters.

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