While Happy had some club shit to do, as he said, Cassie decided it was a good day to go on a shopping spree with Lyla. The two women spent a lot of time together since Cassie moved to Charming. They got along well right from the start and the blonde was definitely Cassie's favorite Old Lady to hang out with. Gemma was great company too and the brunette often gave the older woman a visit, especially when she had to pick up Lily after Gemma babysat the three year old.

But Lyla was closer to her age, so they shared a lot of common interests. When both of them had a day off, they usually decided to go shopping, to the hairdresser or to the lake with the kids. With three kids, Lyla was just lucky to have someone to lend her a hand sometimes. Whether it was chores or shopping, Lyla knew she could count on Cassie, or Gemma, for help when she needed it.

Elli was now almost the same age as Benny and could already do a lot on her own, which was a relief for Lyla. But Piper and Kenny, who were both almost the same age, still needed more help. Which was completely okay, but sometimes exhausting. Still, Lyla couldn't imagine a life without the three.

Today, however, Cassie and Lyla were only out with Lily. Piper and Kenny were each with friends and Elli and Benny wanted to go to the lake together. Since James was also needed at the club and Cassie had a few days off anyway, she had offered to take the three year old to town with them. Lyla didn't have a problem with that either, on the contrary. Since she often spent time with James, which Cassie had noticed already, she knew the toddler well enough by now and had formed a bond with Lily already.

“Ohh, can I have this dress?” Lily held up a pink summer dress with floral appliqués and beamed at the two women, her pig tails bouncing around while Lily jumped up and down. After all the stress that the little girl had to deal with, she finally got better. She talked more, laughed more and started trusting people more again. Lily hadn't once asked about her mom since Kayla was gone, which was no surprise to anyone.

It was a cute sight though. Cassie couldn't help but imagine how it would be with her own child. Would they go on shopping trips, too? Would they get along the way she got along with Lily?

Let's not forget that she was still Lily's aunt, not her mother. It wasn't Cassie's job to do the parenting part. She didn't have to be strict or set rules for Lily, at least not always. So it was understandable that the relationship between the two was good. But with her own child she had to set limits and sometimes be strict, what if that would damage the mother/child relationship? Such stupid thoughts had been haunting her for days now. But as she had promised Happy, she really wanted to give the subject some serious thought and weigh up whether or not she was ready to become a mother.

“Let me see, sweetie.” Cassie looked at the pricetag and hummed softly, nodding. “Yeah, you can have that. Your daddy said you also need new shoes. Wanna get them?”

Lily's eyes lit up, excitement flashing in them. “Yes! I love shoes!”

“She's definitely a girly girl”, Lyla commented with a chuckle making Cassie nod in agreement.

“She is, no doubt about that”, the brunette smirked and put the dress in the shopping cart before she reached for Lily's hand so they could go to the shoe section. “What shoes do you have in mind, sweetie?”

“Uh..”, the toddler put a finger against her lips, which looked like she was seriously thinking about the question. “I don't know. I have to look at all of them!”

“Alright, go take a look!” Lyla allowed the toddler to look at the shoes by her own but of course they stayed in the same section and always had an eye on her. “Pick a few and then show us the ones you liked.”

“She's taking that really serious”, Cassie watched her niece, who thoughtfully chose a few pair of shoes, with an amused look on her face. “I bet she wants the glitter sneakers in the end.”

“I'd bet with you, but I'm also sure that she takes that pair”, Lyla retorted with a smirk, looking through the shelf to see if there were nice shoes for her kids, too. “So..has James ever said anything about me?”

“A few times, why?” The brunette raised a brow at her friend who gave her a sheepish smile.

“Well, I like him but⸺”, Lyla sighed with a shrug, not sure what to say. “But I don't think he likes me. At least not like that.”

“Ah, so you fell for my brother”, Cassie stated with a small smile.

“I think so, yeah”, Lyla admitted, whining. “His life is complicated enough already, he doesn't need that kind of shit.”

“Just be honest with him, Lyla.” Cassie stopped in her tracks and grabbed Lyla's arm to stop her, too, giving her arm an encouraging squeeze. “Perhaps because his life is so chaotic at the moment, he could use a ray of sunshine right now.”

“And that's supposed to be me?”, the blonde frowned sceptically.

Cassie shrugged. “Why not? He likes you, you like him. Both of you are single. After Kayla he deserves a woman that can give him the love he deserves. And you are one of the sweetest person I've met in my life. Besides, Lily loves you.”

“But I can't just tell him how I feel. What if it strains our friendship because he doesn't feel the same?”, Lyla questioned with insecurity welling in her voice.

At Lyla's words, a lump formed in the brunette's throat. She walked a few steps, eyes on the shelves, pretending to look at shoes. But in truth she was lost in her own little world. Basically it was the same situation as with Happy and her. Lyla was afraid of ruining her and James' friendship because she felt differently than he did. Why did everything always have to be so complicated? Why couldn't people just want the same thing?

“Cassie?” Lyla followed the brunette and put a hand on her friend's lower back. “Did I say something wrong?”

Shaking her head slowly, the younger one let out a sigh and chewed on her lips. “No, you just said something that..that got me thinking.”

“Okay, I want to know what's going on. You're different, Cassie. And not just since today. You get lost in your thoughts more often, you talk less and you seem tired. I'm worried”, the blonde said with concern.

Looking around to make sure no one was listening even if there was nobody here the two knew anyway, she decided to let Lyla know about the pregnancy. She felt like shit anyway for not telling her best friend about the news.

“I'm pregnant”, she whispered, not wanting Lily to know just yet. “And I don't know if I want it, but Happy does. The whole situation is just fucked up.”

Now it was Lyla who stopped in her tracks, reached for Cassie's arm and turned the brunette around, a sympathetic look in her eyes.  She knew the feeling of absolute insecurity, the fear, the guilt towards the baby. It sounded horrible but she didn't regret the abortion she had a few years ago. Ope and her already had three kids to take care of and deep down she always knew his love for Donna would always stand between them. It just wasn't right to bring another human into a complicated marriage.

“How much time do you have left to think about this?”, Lyla asked softly while she pulled her friend over to the small couch where people could try on shoes. Lily was still looking at shoes so they had a moment to talk.

“Last week when I had the first ultrasound the doctor said I was seven weeks pregnant. I'm now in the eighth week, so I need to decide in three weeks at the latest”, she sighed deeply.

“Okay”, Lyla nodded in understanding before studying her friend. “Is there a reason why you don't want the baby?”

The brunette smiled sadly. “I just think that I wouldn't make a good mom. I'm not made for this.”

A little unexpected, the blonde let out a scoff and nudged Cassie's arm. “Honey, I was a god damn porn star and and an addict when I found out I was pregnant. I thought I'd totally fail this kid but it was too late for an abortion. I never wanted to be a mom, just like you. I even thought about giving him up for adoption. It took me months to realize I wanted the baby. But it wasn't until I held Piper in my arms for the first time that I knew I didn't want a life without him. Was ist hard sometimes? Yes. Have I sometimes asked myself whether he would be in better hands without me? Also yes. Knowing that I would never give up on my child, that I would have done anything for Piper and still would give my life for him, showed me that I am a good mother despite all my quirks.”

Cassie listened attentively to her friend and Lyla's words were indeed uplifting. They gave Cassie the courage to see things differently. Hearing that there were other mothers who had the same fears as her and weren't perfect housewives or businesswomen before the pregnancy either helped her enormously and gave her a spark of hope again.

“I know you'd make a great mom, Cassie”, Lyla added with a sweet smile and tugged a few strands of Cassie's brunette hair, who had now also some blonde highlights in them, behind her ear. “And you have a supportive partner by your side, that helps a lot.”

“Yeah, Happy is amazing”, she answered with a sincere smile and took Lyla's hand in hers. “I know he would be a great father and would support me in any way.”

“What are you still thinking about then, honey? Stop doubting yourself and let things happen.” Lyla gave her hand a squeeze and embraced the brunette in a hug only a moment later. “And you have me, and James, and the club. You're not alone.”

The hormones were driving Cassie insane, she couldn't just start crying in the middle of the store now. But Lyla's touching words almost brought her to tears. Luckily, Lily ran up, balancing five different pairs of shoes in her arms, the tip of her tongue pressing hard against her upper lip while she tried not to let them fall, which made Lyla and Cassie laugh.

“Come here, let us help you”, Lyla chuckled and freed Lily from a few pairs of shoes and told the toddler to sit down and try them on.

“Thank you. And again, talk to James. He likes you too, I just know it”, Cassie said smiling, pressing a kiss on Lyla's cheek before she squatted down to help Lily with the shoes. It took a while until all of them were tried on and tested if they were comfortable.

In the end they left the store with two new pairs of shoes for Lily, one for Elli, Kenny and Piper and the two women treated themselves with a new pair of matching high heels for their next party. Cassie made sure to get all the things Happy and her needed for the weekend before she drove home with Lily and put everything away before starting to prepare dinner, with Lily's help, in time for Happy and James to have something warm to eat later.