ＡＬＬ ＡＬＯＮＧ ＴＨＥ ＷＡＴＣＨＴＯＷＥＲ

𝔧𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔥𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔵

♜

I glance up from watering my plants outside to see Laurie slinking towards me. A grin spreads across my face. "Hey, whore!"

"Hi, slut."

I chuckle softly as she hugs me. "What are you doing home?" I ask, beckoning her inside.

"My grandma Bernice died. You're invited to her funeral, by the way. It's tonight at six."

"Oh, Laurie, I'm so sorry," I frown while pouring her a cup of coffee.

"Ah, it's fine. She was a bitch, anyways. What's been going on with you?"

"Not much, honestly," I lie.

"Come on. There is no way you have nothing to say." She gasps. "You didn't start an abstinence streak, did you?"

I roll my eyes. "No!"

"So who'd you hook up with?"

I shake my head fondly. "You are such a dirty person and I find it hard to understand why."

She narrows her eyes. "Who else am I supposed to talk to? My mom? Tell me."

I bite my lip. "Okay, I totally did it with Hyde," I giggle.

"Ew! You need to get your standards back up."

"I'm serious. He's hot, but you need him to kiss you to fully realize it."

She makes a face and I tilt my head to the left. "Do you still want details?"

Her head shakes and she laughs, "Definitely not."

"What about you?"

Her face lights up. "Oh my god. I started a fling with my professor."

"Is he sexy?"

"So sexy. He's balding and a little overweight and has a wife, but he's rich."

I choke on my coffee. "And you're grossed out by Hyde?"

"He's only, like, twenty years older than me."

"Laurie!"

"It's good money. And he gives me A-pluses."

"You're a weirdo."

I take our now-empty cups and clean them. "I should probably go check on Eric."

"Oh, he is so shaken up. He looks like someone caught him-"

"Okay! That's not a picture I need in my mind! If you want to stay, you're welcome to, but don't trash the house. I'll see you later."

As fate has it, I stumble across the Forman boy on my way to his house. I frown, as he seems extremely shaken-up. "Hey, Eric, I'm sorry about your grandmother," I console.

To my confusion, he squeaks out a simple "no" and scurries back home. Curious as to why he was going to my house in the first place, I chase after him without difficulty as he bolts into the basement. Donna is already down there, and we sit on either side of him.

She immediately perks up and starts speaking to him. "Eric, I don't care what you said to your grandmother! You did not kill her!"

"I did, Donna, I killed her," he shakily whispers. "She was old and the shock of her grandson telling her she was nasty killed her."

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "Sometimes people just die, Eric. It happens, and it's unfortunate, but it was probably just a coincidence."

"Ha!" he shrieks. "'Probably!'"

"Have you talked to Red about this?" his girlfriend asks.

"I'm not talking to my dad about this," he scoffs. "Do you remember how angry he was when I forgot to rake the yard? This is, like, twice as bad!"

He clears his throat. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"You need to talk about this," Donna demands.

"We don't talk about this in the Forman family. It's not like your house, where you have a 'feeling' and your dad gives you a gold star and a big hug."

"I'm just trying to help you here!"

"Well, talking isn't going to help! What's going to help is... is drinking!"

"Well, now you're just being stupid!"

"Okay, but drinking usually helps," I mutter.

Just then, Hyde appears in the doorway. "Hey, Forman, let's go get wasted."

He is especially cute today, as his hair is all soft and fluffed up, and I notice the bead necklace I gave to him on Christmas strung around his neck. Not to mention that he looks good in his jacket.

His eyes catch mine and sweep over my body before he licks his lips and adds, "You guys can come too," referring to Donna and me.

"Oh god," the former groans as I grab my bag and meet him at the exit.

"See! Hyde's a real friend," Eric spits. "He's going to help me get over my grandmother's death."

The curly-headed boy's face drops. "Your grandma's dead? Oh, man, um..." He kneels and pats Eric on the shoulder. "Let's go get wasted."

"Yep."

I follow them out and hop into the Cruiser. I push Steven into the backseat before he can do anything about it and claim the passenger's seat.

"So who's our designated driver?" I question as we start on the way to Kelso's house, where he and Fez typically meet up when we all go somewhere.

"Not me. I'll be drinking my sorrows away," Eric sighs sullenly.

"I'll do it," I offer.

Hyde guffaws from behind us. "No. I've seen you drunk, all giggly, and I'm not sitting in a car with that as the driver."

"I just won't drink?"

He raises his eyebrows teasingly. "Are you sure you can restrain yourself, Princess?"

I scowl at him. "Dick."

"No thank you, I already have one."

I wrinkle my nose and switch my gaze to the road as the other two boys bounds into the car. "Yeah! Drinking!" Kelso roars.

Within twenty minutes, we pull up to the bar and stroll in. 

"Waitress! Waitress!" Eric bellows as he slides into a chair.

"Forman, relax, okay?" Hyde scolds.

As a middle-aged woman with her hands on her waist approaches our table, he smiles politely. "Hi. We're going to need a pitcher and five glasses, please."

"Do you have some kind of ID?" she asks.

I hand her my fake one as he pulls his out. "I have mine right here, but the rest of the fellas left theirs back at the military base."

"Yeah, gotcha." She nods unbelievingly and leaves to fulfill his request.

Two blondes saunter over to our table and push their hips towards the boys, not unlike how Laurie does. "Uh, so you're in the military!" one of them flirts. "What base are you from?"

"It's a secret base," Hyde smoothly grins.

I stifle a laugh as one of them introduces them. "I'm Charlotte, and this is my sister Charlene."

"Hi, I'm... Ted," Kelso beams.

"Sergeant Shaft."

"You can call me Honcho."

"And I am Eric Forman!"

The waitress returns with glasses and a pitcher. "Oh, Sally, put that on our tab and get us six shots, will you?" Charlene orders.

Sally lifts her head. "Who isn't drinking?"

She points to me. "That one."

I glare at her.

"Make it seven," Eric requests. I thank him quietly as Sally moves to get the shots.

Kelso pulls Charlotte onto his lap and chuckles as he rests his hands on her butt.

Two men stomp to join us. "Excuse me, we need to talk to the ladies."

Forman slings an arm over my shoulder. "Not this one. She's ours."

I laugh quietly and push him away. "I can fight for myself, don't worry." It's strange, how Eric is acting toward me. In a way, it reminds me of Nikolai.

"All of them are with us," Hyde shrugs.

"Well, the sisters came with us, okay? Great," one of them growls.

Fez jumps up unknowingly. "Get lost. They are trying to pick us up."

He pushes the foreign boy back into his seat harshly.

"Hey, you mess with Eric Forman and you mess with me!" the real Eric shouts, rising from his seat.

We all leap out of our seats as the taller one approaches him. "Are you looking for trouble?"

Forman pokes him in the chest. "Oh, yeah."

"Stop before it's too late," I warn.

"Oh, shut it, doll," the man snaps. 

Eric launches himself at him.

♜

I sigh heavily as I fish out icepacks from my freezer and toss them to Eric and Hyde. "Hold that on your eye. And you, on your lip."

I grab my first-aid kit and sit Kelso, who has a cut rather than a bruise, down on the couch. I straddle him, not in a sexual way, and begin to tend to the gash on his chin.

"Hey, Ana! What would you do if I kissed you right now?" he giggles.

I lean back and look at him, disgusted. "I'd slap you. You have a girlfriend, you moron."

After cleaning the cut and plastering a band-aid over it, I climb off of him. "Eric, take the ice and go home." Gesturing towards the other two boys, I add, "And I'll drive you two."

"I want to walk!" Michael insists. "I need to strengthen my leg muscles."

I raise my eyebrows. "Alright. Just don't get run over. Please."

I gnaw on some raisins as I watch the boys file out, except for Hyde. He turns me to face him and presses me into the counter once the door slams shut. "You know, I don't have a girlfriend."

My heart skips a beat. Don't tell me he's going to say what I think he's going to say. That's a ridiculous notion. I'm not-

"Does that mean you wouldn't slap me if I kissed you?"

I relax slightly. I think he notices it, too, but he doesn't say anything. I bite my lip in mock consideration. 

"Hmm, I'm not sure," I smirk. "I'd probably slap you anyway."

His eyes dance with amusement behind his glasses. "Let's test that theory."

He lifts me onto the counter and gently places his injured lips on mine. I cup his cheek and return the kiss before pulling away and swinging my legs over the marble to land on the other side of it.

"Hey!" he whines.

I offer a devilish grin. "Sorry. That's all you're getting."

"Where are you going?" he asks, following me up the stairs.

"To get you a suit from Nik's. We both know you don't have any formal clothing at your place."

I slip into my brother's room and choose one of his many sable black outfits, tossing it to the boy. "Go change in the bathroom. I'll be back in a moment."

When I sense him following me into my room, I turn with a sigh. "My room is not the bathroom, Hyde."

"I don't know, it looks pretty shitty."

"Hyde."

"Damn, okay. Someone's grumpy."

"Because Eric is grieving and got you into a fight for nothing!"

He rests his arm on the doorframe. "Aw, Princess, you were worried for me?" he simpers.

I close the door and lock it in his face. Eventually, I settle for a short, sleeveless black dress that my mother used to own. I swiftly add some accessories and do my hair and makeup. I'm left speechless when I open the door. 

If I think Hyde looked hot earlier, I don't know how to describe him now. He looks ravishing in the suit I picked out. But of course, almost everyone looks good in black.

He cocks his head to the side and grins knowingly. "Like the view?"

I scoff and fix his tie. "Shut it."

"You're not denying it."

♜

"And as much as we all miss Bernice, we must remember that she is now in a far better place," the pastor finishes.

I try not to pay attention to Kelso and Jackie making plans to do it as I rise from my seat and join the line to say "goodbye" to Grandma Forman.

After kicking Hyde when he reaches into the casket to steal something and consoling Fez as he realizes that there's a dead body in there, I approach her.

Well, Bernice. I didn't know you, really, but our experiences weren't the best. Nevertheless, I hope you live a nice afterlife. You deserve it, even if you were a little bitchy at times. Rest in peace.

It seems strange to wish her well, especially since I haven't had a relationship with her. I suppose it just feels right to do so.

The service drones on and, before I know it, I'm standing in front of a man who is a crying mess. In an attempt to console him, I smile softly. "In my family, we celebrate death. It's passing into a new life where those we loved can bring others joy."

His sobs become louder and I just manage to dodge a wet hug. "I'm sorry, sir," I nod to Red, both apologizing for the man and his mother.

Hyde pulls me to the side. "Want to go to the graveyard and pretend to haunt Eric?"

I glare at him. "No."

"Why not? It's right by my house."

"It'll be cold."

"I could warm you up-"

"If you stop with the sexual innuendos, I'll go."

"Deal," he grins.

An hour later, I clutch his arm for warmth as Eric says his final goodbyes to his grandmother.

"Why did you kill me, Eric?" Hyde croaks from behind the gravestone. "I'll never forgive you."

"What the hell are you two doing out here?" Donna laughs.

"Freezing my nads off for a joke, man!" the boy next to me grins.

"Why did you have to say it like that?" I groan.

He glances at my chest. "Well, I'm not the only one who's cold."

I smack his arm and accept Donna's hand to get up.

"Let's go home."

The four of us walk off into the moonlight.

♜

Lmao I don't like how I ended this. This is kind of a filler chapter if I'm being honest, so I apologize for that. Additionally, I didn't have time to read it over, so please correct me if you find any mistakes.

And yes, the changing of the pawn icon (♟) to a rook (♜) is intended ;)

As always, feedback, comments, and votes are always appreciated!

Love you guys,

Lissy