𝟎𝟕𝟒.      𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

the monster ──── rihanna, eminem

✩ 𝐣𝐣'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝖡𝖱𝖮𝖮𝖪𝖤 𝖥𝖠𝖫𝖫𝖲 𝖡𝖠𝖢𝖪 𝖠𝖦𝖠𝖨𝖭𝖲𝖳 𝖧𝖤𝖱 𝖡𝖤𝖣，𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖣𝖲 𝖢𝖮𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖧𝖤𝖱 𝖥𝖠𝖢𝖤．She's exhausted, likely because she stayed up all night drawing after being inspired by what we found in Big John's office. I sat with her for a while, just watching her in complete fascination as she worked herself to death just to prove that she's just as talented as her mother.

I might be biased because, you know, she's my girlfriend, but Brooke is definitely more talented than her mother.

When I fell asleep, I knew she had stayed up the entire night drawing. She now looks just about ready to crash, and after the failed attempt to try and get to South America, I'm just about ready to crash beside her.

Her hands fall away from her face, my eyes catching onto the golden band on her ring finger. I'm surprised her brother didn't catch onto it earlier as it's all I've been able to stare at since I slid it onto her finger last night.

She thought I'd mistaken the finger I was putting the ring on, but I knew what I was doing. I think even part of her knew what I was doing from the minute I took the ring from her.

I haven't told her I love her yet but I'm more than capable of fantasying about marrying her. Make that make sense.

She tilts her head towards me, smiling at me in a way that makes me feel incredibly lucky to call this girl mine. I wish I could just blurt out those three words and tell her how I really feel. I've stared at her for so long, silently begging myself to just say it. It would be so easy, wouldn't it? To blurt it out? The only issue is that I don't know if she's at that stage yet. Does she feel the same? I don't want to rush her.

She waves her fingers at me, yawning. "Hey, you."

"Hey, Sunshine."

She stretches, pulling her legs up from dangling off the end of the bed. "I'm tired."

I move into her bedroom, going to join her. "I noticed," I say, lowering myself down onto my knees at the foot of the bed.

Her legs drop, falling either side of my body and her head lifts ever so slightly. "Right now?" Her head drops back onto the bed, her hands going to cover her face once again. "Okay. Do whatever you want to me, but I'm warning you now that I might fall asleep."

I huff out a laugh, dragging my knuckles from her knee to her ankle. She sighs, hands falling away from her face as she takes a second to relax. I grip her ankle, my other hand reaching for her shoe. I begin to pull at the laces of her Converse, knowing she can't fully relax until her shoes are off. I lean my forehead against her knee, pulling one shoe off and throwing it to one side.

I go to untie the laces on her other shoe, hearing her breathing quieten like she's attempting to sleep right now in the middle of me taking her shoes off. I press my lips against her knee, pulling the final shoe off her foot and throwing it to where the other sits.

She exhales softly, a laugh falling from her lips. "Can you lay with me?"

I lift myself up, not needing to be asked twice. I'll lay with her. I'll not move ever again after laying down with her. I hook my hands under her knees, pulling her legs around my hips. Her head lifts, confusion etched on her pretty face as she watches me. I bend down, sliding my arms under her back. "JJ, what──" I pull her up and off the bed, bringing her flush against me.

She squeals, arms clinging onto my neck. "What are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable," I tell, placing one knee onto the bed. I lower us down, bringing her head to lay on the pillow instead as I bring myself to rest upon her, our foreheads grazing.

She pulls me into me. I let my head drag down to rest in the crook of her shoulder. My arms remain tucked under her back, keeping her against me. She doesn't seem to mind that all my weight is resting against her. In fact, she seems to welcome it in the way she clings on.

Her fingers push into my hair, and I find that to be one of the best feelings in the world.

If I had any kind of power in this world, I'd trap us in some kind of bubble where time stands still just so we could lay like this for the foreseeable future. Leaving our bubble means facing everything that's gone wrong not just today, but over the last few days, and I don't think either of us are really ready to face the reality.

We contacted Sarah, telling her that John B was on his way to the police station. She told me that she's going to handle it, whatever that means. She just wants us to stay at the Chateau. Later on, Sarah plans on rounding up the entire crew. Good luck is what I said as I have little faith that we can get the whole gang together when all we've been is separated lately.

Pope and Cleo have been God knows where. Sarah and Kiara have spent most of their days together when Kie isn't with her family. And I have spent most, if not all, of my free time with the girl in my arms. Oh, and her brother, can't forget him.

I lift my head, wanting to take a look at her but her eyes struggle to remain open as she meets my gaze. She's exhausted, but I think she's trying to keep herself awake for whatever reason. Sarah has the John B situation handled, she has nothing to worry about now. She can just sleep.

I drag my knuckles across her cheekbone, her head tilting into the touch instinctively. I'm in awe of her, lovesick to my stomach as I watch her with such content. I'm the luckiest guy in the world because this is who I get to wake up to every single morning as well as go to sleep beside every single night.

I love her. A lot.

Well fucking tell you, you fool.

"Hey, JJ." She brings me out of my head where my conscience is telling me to stop being so shy and just admit how I feel. Easier said than done.

"Hey, Sunshine," I whisper back, catching the corner of her mouth turn upwards at those two words.

"Thank you."

My head rears back slightly, a little confused. "For what, Sunny?"

Her eyes open, big and wide, brown meeting blue in an instant. I love her eyes, almost as much as she loves mine. I've seen her attempts to match my eye colour on the paper of her sketchbook, and after many tries, she finally recreated my eye colour on paper like she doesn't have every right to just look into my eyes whenever she wants.

If I could, I'd attempt to recreate her eye colour on paper just because it's my favourite colour in the freaking world, and she knows that.

"For just..." She sighs contently, her hand lifting and touching my face. "For just existing."

Well, I can't exactly ignore how that makes me feel. Hearing that might be better than imagining what it would be like to hear those three words I long to hear. Knowing that the girl I love is just grateful for my existence might be the most touching thing I've ever heard.

"I'm so glad I met you," she continues, her voice sounding tired. "I don't... I don't know what I'd do without you."

Well, I know what I'd do if I didn't have her.

I'd die, that's the simple answer.

She's here, talking about how she can't imagine her life without me, about how she's grateful for meeting me, but she has no idea just how thankful I am that eight-year-old me looked at her from across the classroom and that I was sitting beside her brother while watching her with great fascination.

Since she entered my life, she's brought the sunshine, making her nickname only more correct.

If I didn't have her, I know that I'd be lost── so lost that I'd want to die, not to be dramatic or anything. I just don't ever want to be included in the picture if she's not standing right beside me. She gives me the light. She gives me the sunshine. She gives me all those reasons to wake up and go through each day.

Without her, the sunshine would disappear.

I never want to think about not having her, not when our story is only just beginning.

I'm not religious or anything, but I thank God everyday that I met her when I did. For eight years, I had her as my best friend and until recently, I had her as more and now I quite literally refuse to let go of her.

She's my best friend. She's my partner. She's my light. She's my Sunshine── my Sunny.

I'd do anything for her, all she has to do is ask.

She wants the world? I'll fight whoever I need to just to give it to her. She wants the moon? I'll fly up there in a rocket and steal it for her in whatever way I can. She wants the stars? I'll point and ask which one before I go up there and snatch them. She wants my heart? Well, I'll just remind her that she's already got it. I think she always has.

I could tell her now. It's the perfect moment, is it not? She's right here, talking to me in the sweetest way possible that it seems so easy to just say those three words and eight letters.

I clear my throat, knowing I need to speak precisely and firmly so she can understand what I'm going to say. "Brooke, I, uh──"

"Oh, did you see what I drew last night?"

I swallow my words, knowing they probably wouldn't have come out anyway without a lot of trouble. Her interrupting me might've saved me from embarrassing myself.

Or you're just a coward.

I curse myself out for thinking that. I'm not a coward, I'm just nervous of how it'll go because there's a fifty-fifty chance she'll not feel the same way and be repulsed that I said it too early. Although, if I've felt like this for a long time, probably before we even kissed, is it really too soon?

"No, I..." I shake my head. "No, I didn't see what you drew last night. Wanna show me?"

She hums in approval, nodding at me to grab her sketchbook and because I can't say no to her, I pull myself off her to grab her sketchbook of her dresser drawers. Sitting beside her sketchbook is her mother's sketchbook that we found in the box of stuff her father had in his office. I catch a glimpse of the blue sundress we also took from the box that, like the red dress, I absolutely need to see her in.

The last thing we took from the Lyn── the nickname Big John must've given his wife as her name was also Brooklyn── box is sitting on Brooke's finger, staring at me in a condescending way, I swear.

It's telling me to say those fucking words because I have to say them if I want to have any chance of marrying her in the future.

I go to lay beside her, allowing her to bring her head to rest upon my chest as I crack open her sketchbook to the page that has a neon pink post-it note sticking out of it. She slides her arm around my middle, pulling herself impossibly close to me as I stare at the sketch before me.

"It's you," she whispers, a yawn slipping past her lips.

"I can see that, Sunny." I stare at the sketch that almost looks real── lifelike kind of real. I feel as though I'm staring into a mirror as I find that Brooke has literally encapsulated me onto a page. The hair that hangs over my forehead. The slight upturn in my lips as I watched her last night. The softness in my eyes as I stared at her, engrossed by her simple existence. She captures it all.

I always knew she was talented, but my God, I never truly understood just how incredible she is. There isn't a word to describe just how amazing her art is. I feel as though I need to make a word up just to explain how precise and accurate and timeless her art is.

"It's perfect," is what I tell her, still in shock that I'm not sitting before a mirror. She caught every eyelash, freckle, dimple, dent, graze, mark── you name it, she captured it with her pencil. "It's really, really..." A smile brightens my face as I lean my face into her hair, kissing her head.

"It's not amazing or anything. It's──"

"Like staring into a mirror," I interrupt, unable to look anywhere else but at this picture.

"Okay. You're completely wrong. You're fuzzy in the head."

Perhaps I'm lovesick but I know her art is good.

"I am not fuzzy in the head, Sunshine. This shit is really fucking good. This..." I flick through the pages she spent last night drawing, finding that she extended her mother's pieces into her book. "You're incredible, Brooke."

I feel her smile. "Thank you."

"All this is gonna be on show one day, right in that gallery of yours," I tell her, making her smile much wider. "All these pieces are gonna have a spotlight on them, Sunny, alright? People all over the world will buy your art, do you hear me?"

Her arm tightens around me. "JJ──"

I hear that hesitation in her voice. I want to squash it. "Brooke. Do you hear me?" I keep flicking through the pages of her sketchbook, more and more astounded by each piece that graces my eyes.

"I hear you," she whispers against my shirt.

"You're gonna be famous, Sunshine. Going around the world, drawing wherever the waves take you. The Brooklyn Routledge name is gonna be huge one day, angel."

"And you'll be right there with me, right?"

"Of course I will." I kiss the top of her head again, sealing that promise. "There's no place I'd rather be, alright?"

"Good. I can't go anywhere without my muse."

"JR not available, huh?"

She hits the back of her hand against my chest softly. "Shut up."

"All over the world, Sunny. Your art is gonna take you all over this world, I promise you that."

"It's going to take us all over the world," she corrects, flattening her hand against the steady beating of my heart, and I catch another glimpse of the ring adorning her finger. "I mean it, JJ, I can't imagine my life without you, not for a second so I need you in every chapter of my life, do you hear me?"

I bring my fingers to dig into the base of her skull. "I hear you, baby."

"Every chapter, JJ. I mean it."

"As long as you're in every chapter of mine," I bite back teasingly.

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere. I'm comfortable." She settles into my side, her face buried into my chest as she relaxes into me. "I wanna sleep," she whispers, yawning once again.

I kiss her head again. "Go to sleep, Sunny. I'll be here when you wake up."

Those three words are on the tip of my tongue, wanting to escape, and I just let them even if she's on her way to falling asleep.

"I love you," I whisper against her hair.

She hums delightfully, arm tightening around me. "What?" She clears her throat.

I smile. "Go to sleep."

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☀︎ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝖬𝖸 𝖬𝖮𝖲𝖳 𝖡𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖲𝖥𝖴𝖫 𝖲𝖫𝖤𝖤𝖯 𝖶𝖠𝖲 𝖨𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖱𝖴𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖣 𝖡𝖸 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖮𝖭𝖫𝖸 𝖮𝖭𝖤 𝖶𝖧𝖮 𝖳𝖱𝖴𝖫𝖸 𝖪𝖭𝖮𝖶𝖲 𝖧𝖮𝖶 𝖳𝖮 𝖨𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖱𝖴𝖯𝖳 𝖠𝖭𝖸𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖮 𝖣𝖮 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖬𝖤 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖩𝖩．Pope burst through my bedroom door, waking us up from the very quiet, very relaxing sleep we'd fallen into. He apologised profusely, especially because he hadn't expected to find us asleep, but I'm still cursing him out.

Sarah pulled through, not that it's surprising, and she managed to gather each of us at the Chateau. She collected John B from the station much to my appreciation. She pulled Kiara away from her parents, thank God. She found Pope and Cleo which was surprising, especially given that Pope was the first one I woke up to. I have no idea what Cleo and Pope have been up to, not for the last few days, but they're here nonetheless.

We've all, like JJ said, been separated.

But now the whole gang is here.

We're standing outside the Chateau, gathered in something of a circle. "I have something to share with you guys," Sarah declares, speaking first and breaking the silence we created unintentionally.

We each look to her, waiting to hear her declaration. "I can get us down to the Orinoco," is what she says, once again pulling through.

Pope rears his head back. "Are you serious?"

"How's that gonna happen?"

"My dad's gonna let us use the plane."

Yeah, I don't like the sound of that. Her dad── the man who tried to call my father, who tried to kill me and John B is going to let us use his plane to get out of the country. Really?

"We lay low tonight, then wheels up first thing in the morning."

It almost sounds too good to be true. It almost sounds too easy, especially when things have been anything but smooth lately.

"Okay, that's a lot to process. Your dad actually helping us."

"I talked to him. He'll do it," Sarah says, sounding completely assured.

"So we trusting Ward now?"

"Trust Sarah," Kiara speaks, and I find that she's right. We don't have to like Ward. We don't have to trust him. All we have to do is put all our trust in Sarah because she's helping us. She's always just trying to help. Because of her, we're going to get to South America.

"I also just have one more thing to say," she adds, clasping her hands together. "Since we've gotten back from the island, I've done some things that I regret. A lot." She meets John B's gaze, speaking a thousand words without opening her mouth.

She's sorry. She feels guilty about what happened. She wants to be forgiven. She can trust that I forgive her for all that's happened, but what she wants is John B to hear her out again.

"I feel..." John B begins, speaking up. "I feel like we've all done a thing or two that we regret."

Yeah, at one point or another in each of our lives, we've all done something we regret. We've said the wrong things, we've acted on the wrong impulses, we've done a lot wrong whether it's been together or alone, it doesn't matter. Each of us have made mistakes, but at the end of the day we're all right here, where we belong.

"Poguelandia, guys." Sarah raises her arms, laughing softly. "It's all I've been able to think about. We were all together on that island, and it was a good thing, and I don't want to ruin a good thing." She looks to each of us, her smile never faltering. "And I... I just wanna know, are we still all in? Because I am."

I step forward, going to wrap my arms around Sarah. "I'm in," I say, feeling another pair of arms wrap around me and Sarah.

"I'm in," Kiara whispers, hugging us.

"We pon road!" Cleo cheers, stepping over as we pull her into the embrace too.

"I still can't believe you got that plane," Pope laughs, joining us in this crushing embrace that has me wheezing to catch my breath.

"Let's go get Big John, alright?" JJ's arm falls over Pope's shoulders as we pull away from the embrace. "What do you say there, shit bird?"

"I think this deserves a woogity," Pope remarks, waggling his fingers against JJ's, his eyes still on John B as he remains standing opposite us. "How long you gonna pretend you're not coming over here?"

John B sighs, acting like he doesn't wanna come over here, but he rushes to join us, laughing as he wraps his arms around each of us. Outside the Chateau, we stand together in each other's embrace, feeling as though everything is perfect.

I never want it to end.

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❀ soph speaks

i tell you, i am not (nor will i ever be) over the fact that jj is dead like i still can't fathom the fact that he won't be in season five,, it's heartbreaking
idc how long it's been, i'll never be over it

anyway . . . sorry i needed to say that

i rlly can't wait to finish writing this season as i'm dying (not literally) to write season four. i've already planned out most of what i'm going to do so now all i gotta do is write!

you'll see a lot of lovesick brooke & jj until the end of this act bcos, you know, they're in love and nothing can ruin it . . . until season four :)

anyway,, thankyou for reading again