Jay

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Jungwon's car pulled up to the gates of his expansive estate, the headlights casting long shadows on the tall iron bars. The mansion beyond was a stunning structure, sprawling and elegant, bathed in soft, ambient lighting that contrasted sharply with the darkening sky. Despite its beauty, it felt imposing to Jungwon, a symbol of his complicated life as a well-known singer.

He sat still in the back seat, his eyes fixed on the grand facade. Riki, his loyal bodyguard and confidant, glanced at him from the front seat, sensing his unease.

"Do you want me to go inside with you?" Riki asked gently, turning to face Jungwon.

Jungwon hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, please. I just... I need some support."

Riki gave him a reassuring smile. "Of course. Let's go."

They stepped out of the car, the cool night air brushing against their faces. The driveway was silent except for the soft crunch of gravel under their feet. As they approached the main entrance, the other bodyguards, stationed discreetly around the property, looked at Jungwon with concern. They were aware he had missed two days of his demanding schedule, a rare occurrence that had everyone on edge.

Inside, the mansion was even more impressive. High ceilings, elegant chandeliers, and lavish decor spoke of a life of luxury, but to Jungwon, it often felt like a gilded cage. They made their way to his room, the tension in the air palpable.

Riki stopped at the door to Jungwon's room and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Everything will be okay, Jungwon. This will end one day. Just hang in there."

Jungwon managed a weak smile. "Thanks, Riki."

Riki nodded and stepped back, giving Jungwon the space he needed. As he walked away, Jungwon stood at the door for a moment, his heart pounding. Gathering his courage, he opened the door and stepped inside.

His room was a sanctuary of luxury, illuminated by the soft glow of yellow lighting. The decor was opulent, with a plush, king-sized bed at its center. Jungwon walked towards the bed and sat down heavily, the weight of the day pressing down on him.

As he sat there, trying to calm his racing thoughts, he felt an unsettling presence behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Slowly, he turned around, and his breath caught in his throat.

Standing there, shrouded in shadows, was a figure he hadn't expected to see. Jungwon gasped, his body tensing as he stood up immediately, his mind racing to make sense of what he was seeing.

Right in front of the curtains was sitting a tall man with a book in his hands. He had black hair and wore a black suit that made him really good looking. His jawline was lined perfectly as he was sitting with the side profile.

"Bruh.." he groaned. "Really did not expect to see you now, you know? Could have never appeared here again. I would be happy" he smirked still looking at the book.

"What are you doing here?" asked Jungwon after not so long silence.

The man closed the book with one hand and with a sharp sound and quickly got up throwing it away. He made slow moves towards Jungwon looking at him from up. He stood really close to Jungwon and looked around ironically.

"Not so bad room, I believe. Could be mine..but.."

"Stop it Jay!' said Jungwon without even looking at him

Jay looked at him and raised an eyebrow "Huh..? Stop what Jungwon? And..did you just call me by my name?" he firmly grabbed his hand

"HEY THAT HURTS!" Jungwon screamed but Jay hit him against the wall which made Jungwon to fall down on the floor. He pinned himself against it avoiding Jay.

"What happened Wonnie ? Feeling anxious ?"

The blood hit up Jungwon's head "SHUT UP"

"Cmon.."Jay squatted down and grabbed Jungwon's chin gently "I was just worried" he smirked and made Jungwon look at him "I am your big brother after all'

"STEP brother" Jungwon clenched his jaw which made Jay laugh. He stopped grabbing Jungwon's chin and made his way to the door.

"Next time, if something like this happens again, I will go rough, faggot" he said without even turning around and left, slamming the door behind him.

Jungwon was sitting on the floor and looking at one point. He grabbed his hair firmly and started to hit his legs against the air.

"FUCK! WHY HE CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE" he screamed. He grabbed his ciggarets from his pocket but screamed in annoyance again as he threw them away.

"Not r-right now Jungwon, you are a s-singer" he ensured himself not to smoke. He stood up, grabbed the vase nearby and wanted to hit it down when someone knocked the door.

"HUH? WHOSE THIS?"

"Sir Yang Jungwon, your father is waiting for you at the guests room" a maid said loudly from the other side of the door.

Fuck. He forgot about his dad. He was surely dead.

Lying on his luxurious bed, one hand resting on his stomach, Jungwon's mind drifted back to his childhood. The soft yellow glow of his room offered little comfort as he remembered the first time he met Jay.

He was six years old when his father brought Jay home. Jungwon had been playing in the garden, his innocent laughter filling the air. His father called him into the living room, where he saw a small, shy boy standing next to his father.

"Jungwon, this is Jay. He's going to be living with us from now on," his father said gently.

Jungwon approached Jay with the curiosity of a child. Jay, though older by a year, was shorter and seemed incredibly timid. His eyes were downcast, and he clutched a small stuffed animal tightly to his chest. Jungwon remembered feeling a strange mix of excitement and confusion. He was getting an older brother, but Jay didn't seem like the strong, protective figure he had imagined.

"Hi, Jay," Jungwon had said brightly, offering his hand. "I'm Jungwon."

Jay had looked up briefly, his eyes wide and uncertain, before quickly looking back down. He mumbled a quiet "Hi," barely audible. Jungwon smiled, trying to make him feel welcome.

As they grew older, Jay's demeanor changed drastically. The shy boy Jungwon once knew turned into a harsh, unrecognizable figure. Jungwon often wondered what had happened to the gentle boy who was once his brother. Jay had grown resentful and bitter, and his behavior towards Jungwon became increasingly cruel.

Jungwon recalled the first time Jay bullied him. He was ten, and Jay had pushed him into a mud puddle at the back of the schoolyard, laughing as Jungwon struggled to get up.

"You're so weak, Jungwon," Jay had sneered. "No wonder you can't do anything right."

The bullying worsened over the years. Jay mocked Jungwon's interests, belittled his achievements, and constantly made fun of him. But the real turning point came when Jay discovered Jungwon's secret.

Jungwon was thirteen when Jay found out he was gay. Jay had stumbled upon a journal entry where Jungwon had poured out his feelings about a boy at school. Jay's reaction was swift and brutal.

"You're gay?!" Jay had shouted, disbelief and disgust evident in his voice. "You're such a freak, Jungwon."

From that day on, Jay's bullying took on a new, more vicious edge. He taunted Jungwon relentlessly about his sexuality, using it as ammunition to tear him down at every opportunity. Every comment, every sneer, every shove felt like a betrayal from the brother he had once looked up to.

Jay would corner Jungwon in the hallways, whispering cruel insults. "No one's ever going to love you, you know that? Who'd want to be with a freak like you?"

At family gatherings, Jay's taunts were more subtle but just as painful. "Hey, Jungwon, seen any cute guys lately?" he'd say with a mocking smile, causing Jungwon to shrink into himself, wishing he could disappear.

Yet, despite the pain, there was something else Jungwon felt when he thought of Jay-a fluttering in his stomach, a warmth that spread through him, making his heart race. It was confusing and frustrating. How could he feel something so contradictory? How could he get butterflies from someone who treated him so cruelly?

Jungwon couldn't understand these feelings. Whenever Jay was around, his heart would beat faster, and his thoughts would become a tangled mess. Even as Jay's words cut deep, a part of Jungwon longed for his attention, for a moment of kindness that never seemed to come.

These feelings had been there from the beginning, even before the bullying started. Jungwon remembered the gentle boy Jay once was, the one who was shy and sweet. He missed that Jay, and in moments of vulnerability, he imagined what it would be like if Jay could return to being that person.

As he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, Jungwon felt a mix of sadness, confusion, and longing. The butterflies in his stomach were a cruel reminder of his complicated emotions. He knew it was wrong to feel this way, but he couldn't help it. His love for Jay was as much a part of him as his own heartbeat, an unspoken secret that he kept hidden deep within his heart.

His mind swirled with conflicting emotions, a storm of thoughts he couldn't quite control. He turned onto his side, pulling his knees up to his chest, and tried to push away the fluttering feeling in his stomach.

"No," he whispered to himself, the word barely audible in the quiet room. "I don't love him. I can't love him."

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the thoughts away. "He's a monster," he muttered. "He's cruel and mean. He bullies me all the time. I hate him."

Jungwon rolled onto his back again, letting out a frustrated sigh. The memories of Jay's taunts and the way he made him feel small played in his mind like a broken record. "He doesn't care about me. He never did," Jungwon told himself, his voice growing firmer. "He just wants to hurt me."

He sat up suddenly, gripping the edge of his bed, his fingers digging into the soft mattress. "How can I have feelings for someone who treats me like that?" he demanded of the empty room. "It doesn't make sense. I'm just confused. That's all it is-confusion."

Jungwon stood up and began pacing the room, trying to shake off the unsettling emotions. "He's my stepbrother," he said, his voice rising. "It's wrong. It's twisted. I don't love him. I hate him. I hate everything about him."

He stopped in front of the mirror, staring at his own reflection, searching for answers in his own eyes. "I'm better off without him," he insisted. "I don't need him. I don't need his approval or his attention. I don't need anything from him."

But even as he said the words, a part of him felt hollow. He could deny it all he wanted, but deep down, the truth gnawed at him. The butterflies in his stomach, the racing heartbeat whenever Jay was near-it all betrayed him.

"No," Jungwon whispered again, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I don't love him. I can't."

He wiped the tear away angrily, turning away from the mirror. He had to stay strong. He had to push these feelings down and lock them away where they couldn't hurt him. "He's nothing to me," he said firmly. "Just a bully. Just a cruel, heartless bully."

Jungwon climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up to his chin, and closed his eyes tightly. "I hate him," he repeated to himself like a mantra, hoping that if he said it enough times, it would become true.

But deep down, he knew the truth was far more complicated than he wanted to admit.