DIANA NOLAN

I shivered under his touch. His hands reached places I had never been touched before. A shuddering breath left my throat while my hips buckled to his hand. A chuckle left his throat: "A little desperate, aren't we?" My eyes met Cillian's icy blue eyes, seeing nothing but burning desire. "Tell me what you want," he demanded gently, his lips hovered above my lips.
"I want you to show me pleasure," I whispered, almost whimpering. A dark chuckle left his lips before he dove into a kiss. A rough, passionate kiss while his hand traveled down between my legs. He pulled away and his warm breath tickled my face as he said: "So wet already." A chuckle followed as he gently pushed away the fabric of my underwear. I gasped at his touch as he gently rubbed my wetness. He pushed his finger inside of me, slowly fucking me. His gaze was fixed on mine, seeing what he was doing to me.
"Cillian, I need you," I whimpered and I failed to think clearly. "Your wish is my command," he said before I felt his cock against my wet vagina. He pushed his cock inside me and I loudly gasped. I open my eyes, this dream fresh in my mind. I glance to my right, where Cillian used to lie but he isn't lying next to me. And for now, I am glad because what the fuck was this dream. I had a fucking sex dream about Cillian. Holy fucking shit. A hot feeling spreads through my body out of embarrassment but also an unknown feeling. As if I am in need of his touch, almost yearning for him to touch me. To give me pleasure.
     My hand slowly wanders down between my legs. I experience a wetness as I start rubbing a sensitive knot. I let out a sharp breath as it does send a wave of pleasure through my veins. I feel a tension in my stomach and I somehow increase my pace until that tension is unbearable. I experience some kind of release and my chest heaves up and down. Is that the kind of pleasure you experience during sex? I push the thought away while pushing away the covers.
My cheeks feel hot as I carefully get down the stairs. I am soon met by the decorations of becoming nineteen years old, which I somehow forget for a moment. I fail to suppress a smile as I reach for my crutches to fasten the walking process into the living room. Once step into the room, music starts playing. "Happy birthday to you." My father, mother, and Flora started to sing along. I look at all three of them before noticing the banner behind them.
     "Happy birthday, princess," my father speaks as he embraces me in a tight hug. "Thank you, papa," I reply, squeezing him tighter. He pulls away from the hug but his hands grab my shoulders. He does not speak, however, his eyes speak louder than any story. It is a loving look from a proud father.
"Happy birthday, dearest," my mother beams and presses kisses on my cheeks before pulling me in a hug. "Thank you, mama." "Happy birthday, Diana!" Flora screeches as she hugs my legs. My mother and I chuckle as we let go. I crouch to lift Flora in my arms. "Careful, princess," my father warns. I turn to him with a smile. "It will be alright."

I stare at myself in the mirror before I see my empty bed. I imagine Cillian sitting on the bed, patiently waiting for me to be done. A small smile forms on my face as I am then met by reality. He fades from my bed and now it is just an empty bed. I finished my makeup and dressed myself in the same clothing when I celebrated my birthday with Cillian. I fiddle with my ring before my phone starts to ring.
     Cillian❤️ My heartbeat accelerates and my breath hitches. "Hi, Cillian," I smile. "Happy birthday, mo ghràdh." His deep voice sends shivers down my spine. I pull the phone from my ear, only to see it is 11 a.m. "Cillian, isn't it nighttime in Los Angeles?" I question concerned. A chuckle echoes through my ear as he replies: "I don't need sleep, love." I shake my head, "Silly."
"Diana, dearest! Someone at the door for you," my mother informs. "Oh, Cillian, someone is at the door," I say. "Keep me on the line," he requests, which makes me scowl. "Okay," I say slowly, hopping toward the stairs. I gasped at the sight of the flowers. "Happy birthday," she beams with a smile. "Thank you," I reply with confusion while accepting the flowers.
"What is it, love?" Cillian questions. "Someone has sent me a bouquet," I say, giving them to my mother to bring them to the kitchen. "It has a card," my mother informs. "How generous of that person," he says. My mother handed me the card and it had familiar handwriting? Is that possible? ''Can you read the card for me, love?'' I frown at his request as I start reading the words.

My dearest lady Diana
I wish you a happy birthday. I hope you enjoy the flowers, but I have another surprise. It lies underneath where my head used to lie.

Love,
Cillian

''I knew it as soon as I read 'My dearest lady Diana' and you are most kind, Cillian,'' I speak. ''Thank you.'' ''You deserve the world, my lady,'' he replies. ''It is why you wanted to stay on the phone,'' I speak. It lays underneath where Cillian's head used to lay. The bed? Whilst my mother is busy with the flowers, I hop back to the stairs.
''Where your head used to lie,'' I mutter. ''This sounds creepy in every single scenario possible.'' His chuckle echoes through the phone and it makes me smile. I miss him. ''Where your head...'' I mutter and walk toward my bed. I lift the pillow where Cillian used to lie and there lays a letter: Lady Diana.
''Did you place it there?'' I question, looking at the letter. ''Perhaps.'' I roll my eyes as I open the letter. ''Read it to me, love,'' he speaks. ''Okay,'' I reply. ''Here we go:

Mo ghràdh,

If everything goes according to plan, you have now found a letter through a hint of the bouquet and you are reading this letter out loud to me, who is on the phone — "Cillian, you planned all of this?" "Please continue reading, love" — with you.
Even though we have celebrated your birthday already, I cannot do nothing on my girlfriend's birthday. I just can't leave my girlfriend empty-handed. I love saying and writing the word girlfriend because you, Diana, are my girlfriend. Girlfriend. You are my girlfriend — I chuckle at the numerous words 'girlfriends' — I will stop saying girlfriend... For now.
I confronted your mother about which kind of flowers you would enjoy and I rang the nearest flower shop. I asked whether I could send a bouquet to my girlfriend and they agreed. There it is again, girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the bouquet. — "I love them, Cillian. I wished you were here." "Keep on reading, love." — Therefore, this letter isn't finished.
I have one more surprise left and I bet you are wondering what it is. I know that pretty brain of yours is already guessing on possible solutions. However, you have to wait, sunshine. You just wait until tonight.

In the meantime, I cannot express how much I have grown fond of you. I have grown to care for you, always wanting you near. Therefore I still regret the opportunity I had to ask you to be mine. I regret letting that opportunity slip through my fingers. However, you are now mine to call you my girlfriend and it honestly makes me the happiest man alive. We do have a road to go, into getting to know each other but I know with the right communication, we can make this happen — "Yes, we can make that happen." — between us. We will need to find a way to be separated from one another because I am traveling around the world for work and you are a gymnast on an international level.
I occasionally fiddle or stare at my ring you have chosen for me. It is a symbol of our relationship and as if you don't occupy every brain cell of mine, it makes me think of you. I refuse to take it off, only during shooting when it is necessary.
When I'm feelin' blue, all I have to do is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue. When you're close to me, I can feel your heartbeat. I can hear you breathing in my ear. When I'm in your arms, nothin' seems to matter. My whole world could shatter, I don't care. When I kiss your lips, I start to shiver. Can't control the quivering inside. You and I got a groovy kind of love.

As you might know, the world premieres are around the corner. Your father, me, and the cast will be traveling the world to promote Batman. I am wondering if you would like to accompany me through these difficult times. I am a person who doesn't particularly enjoy fame and therefore, I am asking you whether you would enjoy traveling the world with me. We will be walking on red carpets, I will have to do some interviews and we will be shooting photos.
You do not need to answer today, give it a moment to sink in. — ''Yes, because I thought with your knee... As I said, let it sink in.'' — I will be pleased with your presence and perhaps it is a reason to have you by my side for weeks.

I wish you a beautiful day, as beautiful as you.

Love,
Cillian

I sniff as I wipe away the tears in my eyes. ''It is beautiful, Cillian,'' I speak. ''You caught me crying with your pretty words.'' "Don't you cry, my lady," he speaks. I sniff as I listen to his voice while staring at the letter. "I hope with my heart that you enjoyed my gift," he speaks. "I hope that you felt my presence with you by my gift."
     "I always feel your presence but it feels different when you are really by my side," I speak. A groovy kind of love. "I would imagine you sitting on the bed when I'm getting ready or sitting next to me on the barstools." A groovy kind of love. "I miss you holding you in my arms," he speaks. "I miss waking up with you by my side and I hope that I'm reunited with you soon."
"I will be looking forward to the day that I will see you again," I say. "As am I, my lady. As am I," he speaks. "What will you be doing for the rest of the day?" "We will go out for dinner tonight," I speak. "And before that, I have practice, and before that ... No idea." He chuckles once again. "I hope you enjoy your day, my lady," he says. "I will," I reply. "Knowing you still thought of me." "I always think of you. Think of tonight and wait for your surprise," he speaks. The surprise, of course. I wonder what it will be. Will it be Cillian? No, he is too busy with work.

"Happy birthday to you," all my fellow gymnasts sing. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Dianaa. Happy birthday to you." I smile at the girls before I bow my head.
"I hope your rehabilitation goes smoothly and along with the flow," Cate speaks with a smile on her face. "Thank you," I answer. "I have exactly an hour to walk without crutches, which means I'm months away from doing a handstand." Compassionate smiles are sent in my way. "But, I will come back."
I wish everyone a good evening before using my crutches to walk to the exit, where my father will be waiting. I put on the clothes I wore earlier that die and I undid my ponytail. My father honks, drawing my attention. I open the door to see the car filled with my father, mother, and Flora. ''Hello, princess,'' my father greets. ''Hi,'' I greet, sitting down next to Flora.
''Are grandma and grandpa coming with us?'' I question. My mother glances over her shoulder and nods with a smile gracing her lips. It brings me joy to see my grandparents, they have always been so kind and sweet. I wish Cillian was here. A groovy kind of love. It makes me think of his letter, calling our relationship a groovy kind of love and I simply love it. Yeah, I really wish Cillian was here.
We arrived at the Asian restaurant. I had the opportunity to choose a restaurant and I have chosen an all-you-can-eat restaurant. I leave my bag and crutches in the car. My father supported me by giving me his arm. I send my father a smile, but then I notice a weird, goofy smile on his face. ''Is everything alright?'' I question and he nods. ''Can't I watch my daughter grow up?'' He has a point. I narrow my eyes. ''You can.''
The waitress leads us up the stairs before appointing us to our table. I notice my grandparents already sitting there. I beam a smile as they walk up to me and hug me. ''Happy birthday, Diana,'' they all greet. ''Thank you,'' I smile before I sit down at the head of the table. Everyone takes their seat. My father sits on my left with his parents and my mother sits on the right with Flora and her parents. Creases appear on my forehead as I notice the direct seat on my right is still available. I glance at my father with a confused expression.
My sight goes dark, causing my body to freeze. A strong scent invades my nostrils, a familiar scent. ''Happy birthday, mo ghràdh.'' My breath hitches as my heartbeat accelerates. He removes his hands and appears to my right. Instant tears form in my eyes as I throw my arms around his neck. I hide my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. ''You are here,'' I sniff. ''You are really here.'' He pulls away and cups my cheeks. I feel his thumbs wipe away my tears and I forget everyone around us.
''I am really here, my love,'' he whispers and captures my lips with his. A million butterflies explode in my stomach and my heart flutters away. A groovy kind of love.