DIANA NOLAN

I stare into the distance while Rebecca is strapping me in for the iron bars. My mind has been absent for the past few days. "You are leaving?" I questioned, failing to hide my disappointment. "I have to, my lady," he reasoned with a sad expression in his eyes. "I am casted for a new film." My heart ached, especially because I somewhere expected him to ask me to be his girlfriend. But he was leaving instead.
"Are you alright, Dian?" she questions, probably noticing my distance stare. I snap out of my stare and shift my gaze to Rebbeca. I force her a smile before I answer: "Yeah, it feels good to be back however, weird enough that I cannot do whatever I please in this gym." She pats me on the shoulder, telling me they are glad to have me back before returning to her training. I inspect my brace for a brief moment. That thing is massive and complicated. A sigh escapes my lips as I shove Cillian out of my mind.
I swing toward a kip connected to a handstand. From there I simply start making giants, however, I feel pressure around my knee. A groan of frustration leaves my lips as I force myself to stop. I unstrap myself from the bar before I use my crutches as a smaller assistent to move around the gym.

After the training, I waited for my mother to come and pick me up. However, it isn't my mother who pulls over. Once I step inside, I am greeted by my father. "Dad!" I exclaim, slightly confused why Mom isn't picking me up. My heartbeat accelerates at the sight of my father.
"Surprise," he beams as I throw my arms around his neck. "I caught a flight earlier," he adds. "But how are you, princess?" I pull away from his embrace, hesitating whether I should share my feelings about Cillian.
"Something is wrong, I can see it because of your nose," he declares, starting the car before pulling away. "Are you hungry? We could get some take away or something?" My heart warms at my father's thinking. "Yes, I would like that," I reply. The car ride to the Subway is silent and comfortable. My father didn't push on telling him what is wrong.
"Tell what is bothering you," he insists after we sit down with our food. I take a deep sigh before starting to tell. "I don't know what it is, but I was left disappointed by Cillian. I somehow expected him to ask me to be his girlfriend because he was so keen on it but instead, he was telling me that he had to leave the country for a new film. It made me think, whether he still liked me. And we called several times, but I don't know." I take a bite of my sandwich as my father nods, chewing his food.
"He is head over heels about you," he then replies that makes my heart flutter. Or I just miss him, wishing he had never left at all. "And I do not know the reason why he hasn't asked you yet. What I do know is that he is an actor who will be hired for different films to shoot, which means he will be away for periods of time," he reasons and I understand that. "I understand that, Papa," I reply. "I do, but I thought he would have asked me to be his girlfriend and I felt disappointed that he didn't especially because we had these wonderful dates you know."
     "Have patience, princess," my father implies and I know. We continue to eat in silence as I silently require Cillian's presence.

"How is the film's progress?" I question. Dad nods, "it's going well. We still have a journey to go and I'm talking about the editing part. Though, we have more than twelve months to go before heading into the premiere." "But you will be alright?" I question, causing him to nod again.
     "Perhaps you'd like to travel around the world for the premiere," he suggests. "How far are you in your rehabilitation?" I put down my sandwich and take a sigh. "I may walk without my crutches, but only for half an hour a day," I rub my temples. "And I did some giant swings at the iron bars, because I'm strapped in but I experienced so much pressure and it was frustrating. It is going terribly slow." My father dared to chuckle. "What is so funny?" I grit through my teeth. His chuckle melts into a warm smile as he reaches for my hand.
     "It is a year rehabilitation," he reminds me. "And you are only at the beginning. We don't want to rush it, do we?" I sigh at my father's words because he is right. "No," I sigh. "But I want to fly again." "And you will, little dove," he reassured. Little dove. "You need to be patient and obey your physiotherapist's exercises and demands."
"I know, Papa," I sigh. "I just miss it-" "And that is the most sensible thing. Gymnastics is your life.'' And he is right.

After our food is finished, we head back to the car. I imagine Cillian going through a script read through, pretending I don't exist. One of us is lonely. One of us is only waiting for a call. I check my phone and notice zero messages. My heart sinks as I put my phone on airplane mode, meaning no message will come through. I hug myself as I stare out of the window.
The rest of the ride is silent. Once my father pulled up in the driveway, he carried my bag before we entered the house. ''Hello, sweeties,'' my mother greets us both. My father kisses my mother hello before she embraces me in a hug. ''How did it go?'' she questions softly. I murmur in her chest. ''I think should need a good bath and once you are done, dinner will be ready,'' Mama says and presses her lips on my forehead. Something Cillian would do. ''What are you making?'' ''Burritos,'' she answers with a smile.
I hop up the stairs and allow the hot water fill the bathtub while I hop around to gather my stuff. I sit at the edge of the bathtub, unstrapping my brace and it is the best feeling ever. I slowly sink into the hot water, groaning at first. My knee slowly hits the water and it feels good. I lay back in the bathtub, closing my eyes.

I open my eyes, noticing I had fallen asleep. I yawn as I reach for my towel to dry me off. I hop toward my bed, pulling a hoodie over my head before laying down on my bed. I glance aside, where Cillian had been laying. I miss him, even though he is not even mine but he said his heart was mine. But how much of it is true? Lost on my thoughts, my phone rings. Without a second thought, I answer the phone: ''Hello, with Diana Nolan.''
''Diana.'' My heartbeat flutters as a gasp ripples from my throat. ''Cillian?''

CILLIAN MURPHY

I could still hear her moan echoing through my head. I cannot deny to enjoy that sound. It sounded so pure, as if... Never mind.
I did not lie about losing control, because I did. I do not know what overcame me and I don't enjoy the idea just because I am a male who 'needs' to express his erotic feelings. I have no excuse, but she brings me pure joy. Pure desire at some point. Therefore, I am afraid of what effect she will have on me because she will have an effect on me. Not only am I afraid of her power over me, but as well as for myself. I don't dare to speak what kind of man I will become once I... Once I lay my hands on her naked form.
Fuck. I am fucking feral for this woman but a fucking coward for not asking her when I had the chance. Now I am separated from her and it hurts immensely not to be near her. She is in the United Kingdom and I am here, in Los Angeles being thousands of kilometres away from her.
I stare a ceiling, wishing I was somewhere else instead. My gut tells me that she isn't alright. My hand reaches for the nightstand, searching my phone. I keep my mind that we live in different time zones as I dial her number. I feel a nervous knot in my stomach as I hear the phone go over.

"Hello, with Diana Nolan." Her voice sends shivers down my spine. I have missed her voice. I miss her face. I miss her eyes. I miss her smile. I miss her, wishing I have never left at all. "Diana," I softly gasp through the phone.
"Cillian?" I fail to hear any excitement in her voice, causing my heart to sink. "Hello, Diana," I breathe, wanting to end the phone call out of embarrassment. Am I losing hope? Is she losing hope? "How are you doing?" I add, a tension knot forms in my stomach.
"I have been better. I had some frustrations in the gym and some other frustrations," she replies. Some other frustrations... Is that about me? "Do you wish to talk to me about it?" I question cautiously. "I could only use the iron bars so that I do not need to stand or jump... But I felt so much pressure around my knee and I just wanted to do something," she replies. My need to embrace her, to hold her in my arms is rising. "I wish I could hold you in my arms and bring you comfort," I whisper, hearing a sharp breath in the other side of the line.
"I miss your presence." My heart flutters at her words as my hope is restored. I need to question her to be my girlfriend but not over the phone. In person. "I miss you as well, mo ghràdh," I whisper, closing my eyes. I envision Diana in my mind, smiling and giggling. It brings a smile on my face and a warm feeling spreads my body.
"I enjoy our conversation," she speaks. "How are you? How is it with your film?" The smile doesn't falter. "I am not the man I was when I was in your presence," I speak from the bottom of my heart. "You invade my mind at every moment of the day, from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I close my eyes. I know it is my job and you have yours in the United Kingdom, but I do not deny that I don't require your presence."
     "Your ability to leave me speechless with your words hasn't caught any rust, Cillian," she chuckles, making my heart flutter. My words have her speechless. "Good," I smile, even though she cannot see. "I promise to seize the moment to return to you," I add.
     "Do not make a promise you cannot keep," she whispers, causing me to shake my head. "No, I will make that promise. I will seize the moment to return to you," I speak. I hear her shaky breath and my desire to hold her in my arms grows with the moment.
     "Okay," she replies softly. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" Yes, I should but I cannot fall asleep without you by my side. "It is only two in the night," I casually brush off. "The morning I met you, it was five o'clock in the morning." Her laughing sound echoed through my phone to my ear.
"Fair enough, however, you should rest well," she reasons. I have words forming in my mind, hesitating to say them out loud. I open my mouth before hesitating for a brief moment. "I cannot without you by my side," I whisper and there I said it. "Cillian." "My lady Diana."
"I don't want to end the phone call," she speaks. "Then don't," I reply, not wanting this conversation to be over. ''What are you doing?'' I add. A sigh echoes through my ears before I hear her voice. ''I just took a long bath and now I am laying on my bed,'' she replies. I smile and open my mouth to speak, but she speaks.
''My mother tells me that dinner is ready.'' I hear a hint of sadness in her voice. We need to end the conversation. ''Okay,'' I reply softly. ''You go and eat. Remember my promise: I will seize the first moment to fly to England.'' She huffs a chuckle. ''I will hold you to that promise.'' ''Have I ever broke a promise?'' I question. ''You only made one promise,'' she replies, knowing she is rolling her eyes. ''And did I break that one?'' ''No,'' she giggles.
''Exactly,'' I smile. ''Hang in there, my lady. Look at the night sky and think of me.'' ''I will,'' she replies. ''Bye...'' ''Until I hold you in my arms, Diana.'' Then I hear complete silence. The connection is lost and broken. I push away the cover to search for the planner. I need to know when I can catch the first plane to England.