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𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗞

CHAPTER EIGHT
and I never saw you coming,
and I'll never be the same

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REAL LIFE

"YOU SURE YOU'RE going to be okay by yourself?"

Mary Jane looked up from the ground from her place on the wall, her arms crossed across her chest. Luna was standing by the front door of the house, her hand on her carry-on suitcase. Today was the day that Luna would be leaving to London and New York. Everyone else had already said their goodbyes to her and had moved to the living room, just leaving Mary Jane left to say goodbye to her best friend for a week while she stayed by herself at the Roomies' house. The idea was still a bit daunting, honestly. Sure, Mary Jane had started to make developing friendships without everyone, but she hadn't formed those close bonds yet that everybody else seemed to have.

"I don't have much of a choice," Mary Jane responded. "I promised Tina I would be there for her birthday party. It really makes no sense to go all the way back home just to come all the way back. Besides, I can handle myself."

"Noah will be here in two days, if that provides any comfort," Luna voiced.

"So he can annoy me? Fantastic."

That was a front . . . mostly. See, ever since her and Noah decided they were way better off as friends, they found a rhythm of banter. So much that Mary Jane started to refer to him as Luna's significant annoyance. It was just how they worked now, which was way better than what they used to be.

"Mary Jane," Luna said, her voice softer now. "You know they all love you, right? There's really no reason to be scared or worried about staying here. I mean, look. They made plans with you to make you more comfortable and everything. Coming from one of their friends, every single person in this house is one of the nicest people I've ever met — you included. I wouldn't be staying here, or leaving you here, if that wasn't the case."

She gave Luna a tight smile, nodding her head a bit. "I know."

Luna tilted her head a little. "Then why am I getting the feeling that you don't actually believe me?"

Mary Jane paused for a second. "It's a little hard to not feel like an outsider when I practically am one."

She watched as Luna's eyes turned a bit sad. Mary Jane honestly felt terrible for saying that out loud, especially about people Luna considered such good friends, but it was how she felt. It wasn't exactly how she wanted Luna to leave to London, with knowledge that Mary Jane was nervous about this whole thing, but she was.

One person in particular making her more nervous than others. Even though she was getting better being around Ellum without making a fucking fool out of herself and stuttering every other word, the fact that she would have to deal with her big, dumb, pathetic crush on him alone because she was stupid, emotional, and obsessive was enough to send her spiraling over the edge. Whatever.

Luna reached out, putting her hands on her shoulders. "You're not an outsider to them, I promise. They've done everything to make you their friend. You've already started to accept their invites to things and have hung with out them in the living room. Continue to them." She stared straight into Mary Jane's eyes. "It's okay to let them in, MJ. Including him."

Easier said than done, really. Mary Jane honestly couldn't find the words in her to respond to that, so she said nothing and instead reached forwards, pulling Luna into a tight hug. Luna hugged her back just as tight, holding her close. Mary Jane let out a sigh of content as she did so, closing her eyes for a moment to help calm herself down.

God, she shouldn't have been acting like this. Luna would be back in a week. She would be fine. Yet the thought of staying in a house full of people she still didn't fully know was another thing.

"You're going to be okay, I promise," Luna told her quietly. She pulled back from the hug. "Text me if you need anything. I mean it. But please, please don't be scared to depend on any of them. They won't push you away."

Mary Jane smiled a little, trying to keep her sadness out of her expression. "Have so much fun in London and New York, Princess. You're going to kill it. I'll be cheering you on from here."

Luna squeezed her arm. "See you in a week." She took a step back and grabbed onto her carry-on. "If you and Ellum end up kissing while I'm away, I'm going to kill you both."

Her mouth dropped open as her face burned a bright shade of red. "What?"

She raised one of her hands in surrender. "I'm just saying. There's a vibe there, I swear. Don't think I didn't see you staring at him and notice him trying to talk to you during the listening party stream. I see all."

"Shut the fuck up, and go catch your flight."

Luna giggled, opening the door. "Love you, MJ."

"Love you more, Lunes," Mary Jane replied. "Text me when you land."

Luna gave her one small smile before finally leaving, shutting the front door behind her. Mary Jane stared at the wood of the door, a lot of emotions hitting her all at once. Because, now, she was by herself.

Mary Jane let out a breath. She turned her attention in the direction of the noise, hearing as they all laughed at something. Part of her longed to be there — to sit next to everyone, to talk with them, to laugh with them. Yet, the other part of her told her to back off. Mary Jane wasn't scared of a lot of things, but when things did get scary, she often tended to turn around and walk in the opposite direction.

So, that's exactly what she did. She turned herself around and headed up the stairs, leaving everyone behind.

At the exact same time Mary Jane decided to walk up the stairs, Ellum entered into the hallway. He had heard the front door close, presuming that was Luna leaving, and got up from the couch in hopes of catching Mary Jane. Yet, he was too late. Just as he stopped in his tracks, Mary Jane had already reached the top of the stairs, her eyes set on her room in the hallway. He watched as she entered the room, closing her door behind her.

Too late. He had half of a mind to knock on her door, but he wasn't sure if she wanted to be alone or not.

Truth be told, being around Mary Jane had rapidly become one of his favorite things. Not only did she make a promise not to yell at him, which was always a bonus, being with her just felt so . . . easy. They had only known each other for a few days (well, he had known about her before then, but still), yet every time they were together, they fell into a sort of rhythm that just made sense. It was like everything just clicked, and Ellum could relax and be himself. Whenever they were in the same room, he always gravitated to her and tried to speak to her, knowing that they would enter into a conversation of some sorts.

Yet, there was the other side. The side he had started to notice when he saw her up on that stage during the concert, and the side that made him start to second guess himself a lot. There was a sort of entrancing energy around him that he couldn't help but be captivated by. She was known to be sarcastic and always speak her mind, her red-painted lips always spewing something quick-witted. It was to the point that whenever she talked he would just stare at her mouth, which he was sure probably wasn't a good thing.

However, underneath all of that, she was the sweetest girl imaginable, with so much caring and kind nature to give. Ellum had seen it first-hand. It was impossible to not look at her. Well, first, she was extremely gorgeous — duh. But her energy and her personality was what made him watch her, and what made it completely hard to tear his eyes away from. It made him buzz and chase after it, as if he could resist it. She was just beautiful, in every sense of the word.

It was the kind of thing that made his stomach flip upside down, made him nervous, made his entire body feel all tingly, made him rethink. Every time she happened to be around, he could feel his heart thud against his chest and feel his hands shake. Those were things he hadn't felt in a long time, and hadn't expected to happen again so soon. But he couldn't help it. Mary Jane was Mary Jane, and Ellum was starting to realize that he was in way too deep.

Realizing that he liked Mary Jane was . . . insane, actually. They had only met a few days ago. There was no possible way he could've liked her, but he did. The heart wants what it wants, after all. And no matter how much he tried to resist it, his heart was calling out to her. But there was no possible way that a girl like her would like him back. She was way out of his league — a famous actress on a hit show, while he was a Twitch streamer that just so happened to yap too much. There was a one-hundred percent chance that if Ellum acted on his crush, it would end horribly for him.

Ellum couldn't have ever seen her coming. He never expected her to just drop into his life and make him feel like this. It had only been a couple of days, but after meeting a girl like her, he was sure he would never be the same. Mary Jane was like a blazing wildfire, and Ellum could do nothing but just stand in the flames.

"You've been staring at the same spot for, like, five minutes."

Ellum jumped, his hand flying to his chest, turning to see Blau standing there with a knowing expression on his face. "Jesus, man. Don't sneak up on me like that."

"It's not my fault you zoned out into MJ Land, dude. Snap out of it."

"MJ Land? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"It means that every time you're around MJ, it's like you can't take your eyes off of her," Blau answered. "It's like everything around you disappears, and you just laser in on her. Nothing else matters."

Ellum rolled his eyes. "Wow, that sounds a lot like what happens with you and Meena."

"Shut up," Blau complained, although he didn't exactly deny it because it was true. "Are you going to stop watching her from afar and actually do something, or what?"

"Do what, exactly? It's not like I can walk up to her and be like hey, you make me nervous, let's date."

"That's exactly what you can do. Just tell her you like her. It's not that big of a deal."

"That's quite hypocritical coming from you," Ellum argued. He sighed, focusing his attention back on the closed door at the top of the stairs. "She'd never like me back."

Blau sighed as well. "I feel that, man."

"We're both messes, aren't we?"

"Oh, yeah. We're fucking screwed."

Ellum had a feeling that Mary Jane would end up being the absolute death of him, but if that's how he went, then . . . so be it.

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

IMESSAGE CONVERSATION

lunes [ luna ]
bingle boy [ ellum ]

lunes
heyyyy bingle

bingle boy
oh
hey lunes
didn't you just
leave?

lunes
correct
I did

bingle boy
did you forget
anything?

lunes
oh no I didn't
forget anything
I'm all good
by the way if
I did forget
anything I'm not
sure you would be
the person I would
text first

bingle boy
okay I'll just
go fuck myself
I guess

lunes
NO COME BACK
I wanted to talk
to you about
something really
quick

bingle boy
oh sure
what's up?

lunes
can you do me
a favor while I'm
away
just a small ask
really

bingle boy
what kind of
favor?

lunes
this is in no
way shape or
form saying she
can't handle
herself because
she absolutely can
but please could
you keep an eye
on mj

bingle boy
keep an eye on
her?
what do you
mean

lunes
she won't show it
but she's actually
quite nervous about
staying in a place
full of people she
doesn't exactly know
that well
which is
understandable
I've tried to make
her feel a bit better
before I left but I
don't know if it
worked that well

bingle boy
are you telling
me she's sad

lunes
a tad

bingle boy
well we ABSOLUTELY
cannot have that

lunes
THAT'S WHAT I'M
SAYING
you get me.

bingle boy
that's my duo
right there!

lunes
okay you're
pushing it

bingle boy
SORRYYYYY

lunes
crazy how I
could hear that
in my head
ANYWAYS I'm
getting off track
mj is the kind of
person who tends to
bury her feelings
deep down inside
for the sake of other
people
which #same 🤪
but I'm trying to get
her to open to
everyone a bit more
which is where you
come in

bingle boy
where I come
in?

lunes
yes
she's friends with
the others but you're
a fucking social
butterfly
and you do everything
in your power to
include people
I'm not saying that
they'll exclude her bc
they'd never
but you know
I just worry about her
and you and your
energetic and including
personality is exactly
what mj needs

bingle boy
oh of course I'll
include her as much
as possible
literal no-brainer

lunes
thank you ellum ❤️
I am forever indebted
to you now

bingle boy
no need
your favor was what
I was planning on
doing anyways

lunes
I knew I could count
on you!!!!!
don't let me down
bingle!!!!!

bingle boy
LOL I'll try
have fun in good
ol london bruv

lunes
THANK YOU BRUV

-ˏˋ ✩✩✩ ˊˎ-

hi, my loves. the past couple of days have been . . . rough, to say the least. considering the election and who was voted into office, there's a lot of fear and uncertainty in the airs. I personally cried more times than I can count on wednesday when the news broke. with the rights of women and so many other marginalized communities on the line, it honestly feels like we're going backwards. and I'm fucking terrified about it. I'm lucky enough to be in a position of privilege but so many other people aren't, and my heart is so so heavy for them. but one thing I will say is that don't give up. keep going, keep fighting, keep living. they may try to silence our voice, but don't let them. scream louder. they may try to take everything away, but that doesn't mean we won't have anything to say about it. I'm trying to find strength to see that we'll rise again — that the amount of stars that will come out of this darkness will become so bright the darkness will go away. use your anger. live out of spite.

anyways . . . back to our regularly scheduled programming

not luna plotting LMAOOOO

also both maude apatow and gracie abrams wearing the same dress is so invisible string coded of me

like okayyyy divas bffs for life I'd say I'm ahead of my time