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"So he pushed you away?" Felix's voice is calm, quiet, warm even as Han sits on his floor with his hoodie bundled up against his chest. Han had finally stopped crying, head leaned into his hoodie like a pillow of comfort as he looked away from his friend, eyes red and burdened with loss.

"He told me that we're done." Han's voice was nearly hard to hear, moreso in the context that it made Felix's heart hurt for him. Felix was naturally empathetic towards all of his friends, but something about his tone towards Han felt comforting, making it that much easier to talk about what had happened just two hours ago.

"That sounds like Minho." Felix sighs, leaning back into his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. "He always retreats in fear. I don't want to get your hopes up, but he's always like this. He tends to push everyone away and act like a cold asshole, but he warms back up."

"You didn't see the look on his face, Lix." Han swallows, head turning slightly to look at his friend who was still looking towards the ceiling. "It was like I broke him all over again. Like I ruined him."

"Ji," Felix sighs as his head cranes back down to look at his distraught friend, standing from his chair and settling on the floor in front of him. Han raises his gaze slowly towards his friend again after briefly looking away, watching Felix's eyes fill with sympathy. "You didn't ruin him."

"It feels like it, and all I did was try to keep two people I love the most in my life. I shouldn't have lied to either of you, I know that. I just couldn't figure out how to balance either party's wishes."

"I don't really care that you kept it from me." Felix lays his hand on Han's own, warming his cold skin slowly. Han looks at their hands, heart wishing for the one he loved the most. "In fact, I was really startled. Hyun and I kind of had this idea that something was going on, so when we left the pool, we meant to come back with squirt guns to spray the both of you, but the moment was more intimate than I thought it would be."

"So you really had no idea?"

"No. No one did, or does, rather. Point is, I was never mad. I was so surprised to see you guys basically making out in that pool and I only expected you guys to be flirting or something. I really didn't know Minho was into you like that."

"Well, I feel like I've lied to everyone at this point. We've already lied about kissing during spin the bottle."

"No one is going to be upset with you. Half of them probably don't remember because they were so wasted."

Han shrugs, unconvinced and skeptical.

"Ji. Listen to me." Felix squeezes Han's hand gently. "You're allowed to like who you want to, and so is Minho. I know both of you have had issues with relationships recently and that's probably what's been keeping you apart-"

"My lies are keeping us apart."

"Hey," Felix shushes, watching Han's eyes avoid him. "It feels hopeless right now. I get it. Give him space and some time, he will come back."

"How do you know?"

"He came back to me, too." Han looks at him a bit wide-eyed, but Felix smiles at him. "Not like that. We've just known each other for a really long time. He doesn't want to admit it, but we're good friends."

Felix watches relief soothe Han's tense shoulders, his hand still holding onto his friend's. Han's gaze holds something different, a question lingering in the back of his mind. He seems unsure of speaking on it, almost like his heart won't let him.

"What if-" Han swallows, letting the words fall haphazardly from his tongue. "What if I love him?"

Felix tries not to overreact, eyes widening for a split second before clearing his throat, visibly taken aback by words he never expected Han to say. "You guys experienced a lot of emotions in the short time you were together. If those feelings were that strong for you, I'm sure he's not too far behind. I don't blame you, though. I get it."

"You get it? You mean-" Han's head lifts slightly with realization as Felix smiles at him, cheeks flushing with a gentle shade of pink.

"Yes, Ji. This entire time you've been with Minho, I've been with Hyunjin. I really like him, and sometimes I think things are going too fast for us, but, other times I just enjoy the ride of it all. I don't feel like there's a point in holding off on feeling something if you already know how you feel. I know I like him and I know I want him around all the time, and yeah, it's scary. But I really can feel myself falling for him."

"Lix-" Han smiles at his friend, but feels his heart sink into the floor. "I didn't know."

"It's okay, Ji. I didn't expect you to."

"I get what you mean," Han's jaw tenses slightly. "I was never scared with him. He had this way of making me feel comfortable regardless of what was going on. He just. . . always knew what to say."

"I'm sorry I tried to tell you he was bad for you." Felix frowns, gaze falling to his lap.

"You didn't know what we were doing, let alone how he made me feel." Han reassures and Felix looks up to smile at him briefly. "I'm gonna miss him."

"Don't be so quick to assume that he's never going to come back."

"I'll try not to be so negative." Han frowns lightly and Felix can't help but feel guilty.

"Do you feel a bit better?"

"I mean-" Han's chin finds his hoodie again, resting in the comfort of his makeshift pillow. "I'm still sad, but I feel like I've talked about it to death. There's nothing more I can say or do to fix it."

"I get it. You can stay here until we have to go to class if you want." Felix shrugs at him. "I know it's only like two hours or so."

"It's okay, thank you. I think I'll just take a shower in a bit, if that's okay?"

"Be my guest." Felix squeezes his hand once more before getting up from the floor, straightening out his t-shirt. "I'm gonna lay down. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah," Han half-smiles at him, gaze falling to the floor for a second and shooting back up. "Thank you, Lix. I really love you, y'know that right?"

"I know, Ji. I love you too."

The morning comes quicker than Han would like it to. He barely slept at all, maybe closed his eyes for ten minutes before the blaring sound of Felix's alarm caused him to jump awake. Han had gone about a routine that felt normal to him, but he was missing Minho hugging him first thing when he woke, and the thought of it killed him inside.

Felix offered to walk with Han to school, but Han insisted that he walk with Hyunjin instead. Han wanted the time to think to be honest, but he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to stand the truth of his reality. He had spent several nights dreaming of a time where he could walk with Minho to school hand-in-hand, walking to their lockers or classes and feeling something along the lines of bliss. But his reality sadly remains different.

His walk to campus is quiet, music blasting away in his ears like normal. He's nervous, partially because he doesn't want to see Minho during dance lessons later, but thankfully Minho was a grade higher than him, so he didn't have to really worry about running into him any earlier than expected.

Part of him wished he would. He wants nothing more than to apologize and pull Minho into a hug, begging for forgiveness to at least rid them both of this tension, but Han knows better. Felix was right, Minho was going to isolate himself and pretend to be cold. But he hoped Minho would come back to him eventually; his heart begged for Minho to come back.

His feet lead him into the air conditioned school, pacing past classmates and people gossiping in the hall, ignoring everyone and everything until he finds his seat and removes his headphones. He prepares himself for class like normal, reading over past notes to pass the time, but his heart breaks when his eyes rake over a small drawing in the corner.

"Minho" was written in the top left corner in pencil, a sketched heart to the right of the name. He didn't remember drawing this, let alone remembering why he would draw that, but it still hurt nonetheless.

He grabs his pencil, turning it the opposite direction with his eraser pointed towards the paper, hand moving over the drawing nearly about to erase it, but he hesitates.

It's just a drawing, Ji. Just erase it.

But he can't.

It felt like more than a drawing, and for some stupid reason he himself cannot understand, he can't erase it. He drops his pencil and lets a sigh roll through his lips, frustration singing in his chest as he stares at the corner of his notebook. He can feel tears creeping towards his eyes now, mind falling apart as he sits there idly, listening to classmates enter the room behind him, but he is so focused on the thought of losing Minho all over again.

His anxiety grabs him by the throat, nearly forcing him to stare and gawk at what was taken from him. It's all because of you. You did this. You made it worse for yourself.

Han closes his eyes trying desperately to swallow his anxiety, but it crawls back stronger, threatening with tears ready to spill over the edge.

Han's used to this. He's used to his own mind being so cruel to him in the dark of his room when he's alone and stuck with his thoughts. It was an evil cycle to be plagued by one's own mind, one so terrible that it convinced someone into bad thoughts constantly.

He trusted you, and you betrayed his trust.

Han's hands find his head, gently fisting tufts of his hair in a balled fist. He knew this wouldn't be the end of his mind's onslaught, this would forsure bother him for the rest of the day, if not the rest of his life. But as he sits there, swallowing his tears with a degrading mind, he feels the sudden warmth of a hand on his right shoulder. His heart skips, eyes snapping open as a blink of hope rushes over him. Minho?

Han turns to face what he hopes would be his beloved, but he instead spots Felix and Hyunjin, both of his friends looking at him with a worried gaze. Han swallows, hands dropping away from his hair as he turns back, finding the drawing in the corner of his notebook instantly.

"Are you okay, Ji?" Felix asks softly. All Han can do is nod. His hands move to close his notebook, stuffing it back into his bag without another thought. Hyunjin and Felix take the silence as an admittance of some kind, settling into their seats without prying further. But all Han can do is think about the stupid drawing as class starts.

Sweat drips down Minho's forehead as he leans against a wooden-slatted wall, brows furrowed with his hands against his thighs. His breaths are heavy, arms sore and legs tired as he rests, staring at the floor as he leans at his waist, trying to catch his breath.

He somehow managed to get a pass from his study period, finding himself back into the suffocating dance studio. He wanted to drown himself in work, given that nearly all of his classwork for the quarter was done due to his perfectionist lifestyle, all he had left was to dance.

There was no competition or show to perform in, but Minho stayed dedicated to what he loved most; what he was sure would ever betray him.

Even with a swollen ankle, he powers through and hides the pain with painkillers, avoiding all thoughts so he can numb his mind with music. But as he leans back into the wall, he can feel his heart beating loudly in his temples as he zeroes in on a memory.

A memory warm and kind, one he longs to forget but refuses to let drift away reappears in front of him. His hands grasp for the hem of his shirt, eyes flooded with the vision of Han's bare chest and naked skin. He can hear Han's voice calling for him, nearly reaching out, but the tears flooding his vision pull at his heart strings. He's alone again, isolated in fear of being dropped by someone who he thought loved him.

Only when the music stops does his mind clear, grabbing his attention away from intimate memories to stir him to look upwards at the illuminated floor.

He wanted anything but this dread; he'd love to feel anything but this. Deep down he knew what he felt for Han, but it didn't matter anymore. Once a liar, always a liar.

That's all he knew. That's all that seemed important. That was all he needed to convince him to be cold and closed-off again.

So, he starts dancing again. The pain in his heart subsides as he drowns himself in music, wanting nothing more than to block out his thoughts to avoid memories plaguing his mind.

It isn't until he's four hours into the school day that he finally left the dance studio, now walking down the hall crowded with passing students, eyes tired and hair wet from the gym's showers. He didn't bother to leave the studio after Han had stormed out, so he tried to sleep in the studio with his backpack as a pillow. But he continued to stare at the dark ceiling, eyes straining to stay awake as sleep avoided him. He had cried so much he felt like there was nothing left to cry about, but his heart never stopped aching.

"Minho-hyung," Felix approaches, walking next to him in tandem, eyes searching for Minho's gaze. "Can I talk to you?"

"I don't really feel up to talking, Felix."

"It's important. Please?"

"Felix-"

"It's about Han." Minho's heart stops. He fights the urge to say no almost immediately, teeth finding the inside of his cheek, but he agrees anyway, trying his best to mend a broken friendship.

"Fine." Minho sighs dejectedly, but he can hear the relief coating Felix's tone as he speaks.

"I just gotta put some stuff in my locker, but I'll meet you outside in a couple minutes."

"Alright." Minho watches Felix walk away down an opposite hall, seeing Hyunjin waiting for him at the corner. Minho bites the urge to feel anything except jealousy as he turns away, heading for the doors that lead outside.

Warm sunshine meets cold skin as Minho settles on a wooden bench, hands settled in one another as he deals with the anxiety of a looming conversation. He isn't alone for too long before he hears incoming footsteps, so he lets a calming breath shoot through his lungs to relax his nerves.

"I hope you don't mind that Hyunjin joins us," Felix says softly when he approaches Minho from his right.

Minho shrugs. "I don't mind."

"Okay, good." Felix sits down next to Minho, a bit uncomfortable but trying his best to be positive in light of what feels like a heavy topic. "Han called me last night."

"I knew this was about us-"

"Listen to me, please." Felix begs quietly. Minho turns towards him, ears listening but eyes avoiding. "Han has been through a lot recently. I know you know what's going on at home. I wanna thank you for being there for him when I wasn't."

"He needed help, I couldn't really sit there and say no."

"Still, Minho. He needed someone."

"Why me?" Minho knows Felix can't possibly know the answer to this, but is still begging for some sort of reasoning as to why someone so lively would want someone so isolated; so bruting.

"Whether you want to believe me or not, Han loves you." Felix's words strike a chord in Minho's heart and he falls completely silent. His eyes are wide as he stares at his shoes, heart seizing in his chest as the four-lettered word of doom lingers in his ears. "Han has had terrible luck with the boys at this school. Two of them verbally abused him for months, then he finally got a boyfriend that only used him for his body."

"What the hell? He never told me any of this-"

"He didn't want you to worry. He didn't even tell me for months after it happened. I still don't even know who the guys are, but the breakup really screwed him up when it happened. Han gets attached really easily to people, so when someone leaves, it's basically like leaving a hole in his heart."

"He lied to me," Minho continues to avoid Felix's gaze, unwilling to see the disappointment from his childhood friend staring into him if it was there (even though it wasn't). "I can't convince myself to forgive him."

"I know. I told him it might take time. But I want you to think about this. Han was trying to please everyone involved, it's just who he is. He's losing his parents to divorce, he thought he lost his friendship with me and Hyunjin, and now he lost you, which, by the way he always talked about you, he loves you more than he loves me."

"There's no way." Minho leans back, feeling the wooden slats of the bench press into his body.

"Believe me, I didn't expect this for either of you. But you guys just. . . fit with one another."

Minho's heart hurt. "Felix, I can't. I just can't."

"You can." Felix's hand finds Minho's knee as he reassures his friend, leading Minho's absent gaze towards Felix's touch. His jaw tenses and all he can think about was Han's expression when he told him to leave.

He was incredibly dejected, tears streaming down his cheeks after Minho unknowingly yelled at him twice; only then does he remember how Han feels about yelling. Minho suddenly feels sick to his stomach.

"I-" He didn't realize his raised tone at the time, but the more he thinks about their encounter, the more he hates himself.

"I know you had issues with your ex. She was a real piece of shit, Minho, but Han is nothing like her. He wouldn't lie to you intentionally. He was just trying to keep everyone happy and unfortunately I'm the one who ruined your relationship. I cornered him and basically forced him to tell me what was going on. So, if you want to blame someone, please blame me."

"Felix," Minho's gaze finally connects to Felix's, eyes reddened with tears threatening to spill over. "I really fucked up."

"You really didn't. I wish you knew how he talked about you when he came to my house last night. He still cares about you, that hasn't changed despite everything."

"I just don't know if I can fix anything." Minho shakes his head, feeling another hand touch his left shoulder.

"He went home early an hour ago. We can cover for you in dance practice if you want to go talk to him." Hyunjin watches Minho's eyes face forwards toward the vacant road, almost hoping an answer would appear ahead of him. But he sits there, heart yearning for him to leave and hold Han in his arms again, but the fear of being rejected sits deeply embedded into his skin.

"I don't know."

"He needs you, Minho. As much as he'd like to say he's okay all the time, that boy puts on a helluva front for us so we don't worry about him. You're the only one he's really broken down to and allowed himself to feel vulnerable," Minho looks to Felix, suddenly confused. "His words. Not mine."

"I need to think," Minho's head finds his hands as he closes his eyes, jaw tight and stomach on fire. Felix's hand gently rubs his back in smooth circles before he stands up, Hyunjin walking over to his left.

"Take your time. We'll cover for you if you're late, or if you don't show up. Please call me if you need me." Felix assures lightly and all Minho wants to do is hug him and say a quiet thank you. But his mind is so hazy, so dizzy, all he can do is look at Felix and softly smile at him. Felix and Hyunjin wave at him as they head back into the school, leaving Minho alone on the bench with his thoughts.

There were only two choices here, both tearing his heart into two completely different places.

He could stay at school and finish out the day, pretending that none of these conflicting emotions exist as he pours his soul into his work. But, the aftermath of this could ruin him. He could continue to devote everything he had into the dance studio and his studies, but what remnants of a heart would be left? He can't promise himself that he'd be happy in the end, because in all honesty, he knows he'd be lonely.

On the other hand, he can go to Han's house. He can go see the one person in this world he finally feels something towards. There was a chance that Han wouldn't want to see him, but somewhere inside of him he cannot find a reason that Han wouldn't at least talk to him. But again, the fear of rejection strikes a nerve and Minho finds himself unconvinced.

His last relationship was traumatizing, one that ended incredibly horribly and left Minho shaken to his core. He was manipulated and lied to, cheated on, and ghosted after arguments ensued, which all made him unwanting of a relationship for the last two years.

But ever since he met Han four months ago in his dance class, he was stricken by intrigue and hasn't been able to shake it since. Han was pretty and so lively, something his ex really wasn't, and something about him had stuck in Minho's brain from the moment they met.

Minho didn't believe in soulmates nor did he believe in true love, but Han makes him want to believe in something.

His hands find the bottom of the bench, gripping it tightly as he grapples with his decision before pushing himself from the wooden seat, leaving him with the option of walking left, or heading right to head back to class. He stands in the middle, head turning both ways, undecided and completely torn.

But he chooses the fear of rejection, wanting to face it head on just to see Han one more time. If they really were going to call it quits now, Minho wanted to say goodbye, and that was all he could think about.

Minho's steps are quick as he moves along the sidewalk, nerves tingling through his spine as he rounds the final corner, watching Han's house finally come into view. All he wanted was to see him. He needed to apologize; he had to make things right.

But as he makes his way towards the front door, his stomach drops and his heart sinks. Realization swirls in his brain when he sees Han's parents were home based on the cars parked in the driveway. He can't help but feel tension sit on his tongue as he approaches the door and knocks three times.

At first no one answers. Minho nearly begins to turn around when the door opens, a tall brunette man staring out at him with a tired, but annoyed expression.

"What can I help you with?"

"I just came to see Jisung. Is he home?" Minho's voice is softer, more timid, trying his best to be polite to the man he knows is a piece of shit. He'd love to let the man hear a piece of his mind, but now was certainly not the time.

"He's been sick today, but I'll see if he's up to it."

"Thank you, sir." Minho bows his head slightly, trying to be respectful, but as his head tilts back up, his eyes cross with the ones he loved so much.

Han had appeared from around a doorway, a snack in one hand and milk in the other, eyes red with fresh tears as he smothers his torso in a black hoodie. Minho wants to run in the house and hug him, pull him free from what seemed like a solitary prison, but Han doesn't move. Han stays still, eyes locking onto Minho and for a second, he looks like he's going to cry again.

Han's dad watches him with a confused gaze, holding the door open as both boys stare at one another. "Are you going to go talk to him, Jisung?"

"Y-yeah. Sorry. I'll be back inside in a minute." Han smiles at his father half-heartedly, setting down what seemed like a depression snack on a nearby table before walking past his dad and onto the porch. Minho had taken two steps back, hands tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt as he waited, eyes locking onto his shoes once he heard Han approach.

"Minho?" Han closes the door behind him, standing awkwardly away from Minho.

"Can we talk?" Minho looks up, eyes taking in the complex emotions from Han's expression. Upclose, Minho could tell he had just finished crying. His cheeks were stained with tears, red eyes looking back at him that sent Minho's heart awry. "I know you probably don't want to talk to me, let alone see me, but I really want to talk to you-"

"I always have time for you, Minho." Minho feels his chest warm. Thank god.

"Let's take a walk." Minho holds out his hand, the same invitation Han had missed the entire time they were separate. Han barely hesitates and immediately intertwines his fingers with Minho's, almost as if he would never see the same invitation ever again.

They step free from the porch, away from the prying eyes of Han's parents as they round a corner. Minho squeezes Han's hand a bit tighter as Han finds the courage to speak quietly. "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"