𝐱𝐱𝐢. learnin' to be grateful for myself






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𝑷 𝑶 𝑽
❝ 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕, 𝚒 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜 ❞

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ㅤ𝐀𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 the feeling of being in command. Regardless of where he is, his entire being—from his stature, his attitude, to his voice—made him the man in charge. Even in the presence of people with higher positions than him, he usually had the upper hand.

But for the first time in probably a decade, it was him who was getting schooled.

The way Gwen commanded the room was different to how he assumed she would. Instead of physically moving in a way that made people subconsciously assume her to be the boss, she was relaxed. Her posture wasn't stiff, she just continued to move as normal. He didn't understand why he felt himself want to listen to her, until he realized that she oozed power.

Once she shed her façade, she let go of her metaphorical constraints and didn't hold herself back. She wasn't Finn anymore, she was Gwen. And while Finley Barrett was confident, smart, empathetic, Guinevere Chase was powerful, commanding...dangerous.

"Here's the thing," Gwen began, crossing her arms. All of them paid close attention to her. "Kuznetsov is a powerful man. Despite him living in the shadows and assuming a nomadic role, he's got connections virtually everywhere and can contact them through any means necessary despite being off the grid."

"HYDRA taught him well," Viktor commented, sharing a look with her. "He knows how to disappear. He's...a ghost. That's what most HYDRA thugs are good at."

"So the best course of action is to resume living as usual," Gwen shrugged. When the protests started, she merely lifted a finger and all of them shut their mouths. "Look, I understand you might be concerned, especially the parents. But we have to act as though nothing happened or else Kuznetsov will get suspicious. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be the one to come to him, not the other way around."

"Then how can we make sure our kids are safe?" Will asked, his southern drawl a little more prominent than usual. Surprisingly, he was taking it all in rather calmly and rationally—he was worried, of course, for JJ and Henry, but he remained level-headed and mature. JJ was lucky to have him as her partner.

Gwen gave him a small smile before walking over to the wall at the other end of the room and opened it up. The inside was littered with Stark-level tech, but before anyone could admire anything, she grabbed something and closed the doors again, turning around to face them while holding a clear case that carried very tiny circular objects.

"What are those?" Derek frowned.

"Bugs," she simply stated before opening up the case and tapping one. The object glowed before tiny little legs suddenly sprouted from the sides. "Alina helped design these. They each have a small camera and a small mic, perfect for discreet surveillance. They transmit all footage to Stark's satellite."

"So you're gonna spy on us?" Rossi raised an eyebrow.

"Not me, Penelope."

"Me?" Penelope gaped. "But I--"

"Don't worry, you're not actually gonna spy on them," Gwen chuckled a little, giving Penelope an amused smile. "These babies are remote controlled, they could be placed at any corner of any room, and I'm gonna give you complete access to them...scratch that, you're the only one who'll have access to it. The team trusts you." She looked towards the rest of the team. "While Penelope has access to the footage, you guys will be the ones to direct where each bug will be placed. You know your houses best, so you gotta choose somewhere that has the best vantage point, preferably a place where it can see all possible entrances."

"You think the bugs will help?" Hotch asked.

"There will be protocols set in place, of course," Gwen nodded. "It's not like Penny can watch all of you twenty-four-seven, so with your permission, we can integrate FRIDAY into the bugs to help with the surveillance. That, and we can add something like a code that can alert me if something goes wrong. I doubt anything will, to be completely honest."

Spencer tilted his head. "Why?"

"On his letter thing to the director, where he, uh--"

"Explicitly planned our demise?" Emily raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, well, he said he wanted to...do the things to you guys when you're all together," she sighed. "Said he wanted all of you to watch each other burn."

Derek clenched his jaw a little at the thought of himself watching...that. "Alright, so we go back to normal, have our places bugged. What else?"

"You guys can stay here for the night or two if you guys want, probably the safest place in the whole state," Gwen shrugged, turning off the bug, placing it back into the case before pushing it towards Penelope. She then walked back to where she stood earlier, beside Viktor. "This entire building's secure. The parents and kids can stay in my guest rooms, while you guys can choose any of the apartments downstairs."

"There are no other tenants?" Rossi asked, relaxing into his chair.

"This entire building is Stark's property, acts as a safehouse-slash-base of operations if need be. 'Tenants' come and go," she patted her very tall friend's very muscular arm. "Viktor here acts as both the landlord and the security detail."

"I can see why," Penelope nodded appreciatively at Viktor's form. The seven-foot-tall Bulgarian man just chuckled as he uncrossed his arms and leaned back against the kitchen island. Penelope snorted a little at him before she tentatively examined the bugs.

Gwen shook her head at the woman. She then regarded the entire team. "Any questions?"

Penelope's arm shot up immediately, resembling a kid in school who wanted to show the teacher that they knew the answer. Gwen laughed before nodding at her.

"Okay so, you have powers?" She asked.

Gwen sighed a little, shaking her head at Viktor when he began laughing. "Yes, I do."

"And it's got something to do with your little friend, right?" Emily followed up, pointing at Severus who was still lovingly nuzzling Gwen's cheek.

"Yeah, this is Severus," Gwen chuckled. She allowed Severus to slither down her neck, down to her arm, before he reached the table. She smothered her laughter when the team visibly leaned away from the table. "Don't be scared, he likes meeting new people. He's a softie, really."

"That's a snake," Derek deadpanned.

"He is my baby," Gwen defended, patting Severus on the head and smiling as he rubbed his scales together, producing a sizzling sound. Though it's commonly done by most of his kind as a warning sound, he typically does it when he's being petted; kind of like his own way of purring. "Anyway, Tony likes to call my abilities 'snake magic'. Can't do literal magic, but I do admittedly have an affinity for snakes."

"It's more than that," Hotch raised an eyebrow. "You bit into a guy's neck and he just...told you everything."

Gwen shrugged. "I told you, affinity for snakes." The team could tell she didn't want to elaborate further, maybe not to freak them out any more than she already has, so Rossi took the initiative to do something rather reckless.

He carefully lifted a finger up to Severus, heart pounding in his chest as his life practically flashed before his eyes. But the bite he expected never came, especially when the little snake gently wrapped his tail around his outstretched finger before letting go. He smiled a little, relaxing forward and eyeing the snake curiously.

"So this snake magic of yours includes communicating with snakes?" He asked.

"Kind of? We don't verbally communicate nor do we talk to each other telepathically. We just..." she trailed off, not knowing how to explain it properly. "We just get each other, you know?"

Emily huffed out a laugh as she leaned forward and offered a hand to Severus, who slithered over to her and placed his little head on her palm. "Never in my life did I expect to find a snake adorable. He's like a little puppy. A scaly, limbless puppy that can kill me."

Gwen smiled at her, happy that they were accepting of her little friend.

"What kind of snake is he?" Derek asked curiously.

"Echis carinatus, commonly referred to as the saw-scaled viper," Gwen answered. "Smallest of the so-called 'Big Four' snakes responsible for most snakebite cases and deaths." She said that rather proudly.

Will raised a hand, still eyeing the snake suspiciously. "If we're gonna stay here for the night, mind giving us a tour?"

"Gladly."

It was surprising when Gwen realized how the team were all slowly warming up to her despite it all. Emily and Rossi were pretty much chill with everything, even bonded with Severus, the former allowing the tiny guy to wrap around her wrist as she explored. Penelope was just in awe at all the technology she was about to get her hands on. Will was continuously calm all throughout. Derek was a little wary still, but he had taken a liking to Viktor, so there's that. Hotch was still a little irritated, but with his alpha-male personality, Gwen wasn't at all surprised. But Spencer...she was still unsure how he was taking everything, especially because of how quiet he was being.

Instead of overthinking about it too much, she led the team around the apartment building. She started with the penthouse she was staying at and told them short stories about the objects that littered the place, especially the ones she didn't own. She showed Will where he and his family will be sleeping in, and also showed Hotch his and Jack's room. She then allowed Viktor to lead when they toured the other apartments. Most of them were two-bedroom apartments, and Penelope and Emily already claimed one as their own. Rossi and Derek also decided on sharing one. Spencer was just silent all throughout.

Gwen was a little crestfallen, but continued to excitedly lead them to the basement. The team, of course, had already been to the basement as that's where they entered the building. But they hadn't realized that there was actually another room there.

"Now, this...this is what I'm talking about," Derek clapped his hands as soon as he entered the training room.

The walls were littered with weapons ranging from several hand guns to full semi-automatics. There was a mini shooting range at one end of the room, while the other end strictly acted as a gym; several punching bags were hanging from the ceiling, a wide range of gym apparatuses, and of course a mat in the middle of the room, made for training hand-to-hand.

"This is nice," Emily nodded appreciatively, eyes flickering towards the weapons. "Thought you didn't like guns?" She asked while turning to Gwen.

The brunette shrugged. "I don't. Doesn't mean I don't know how to use 'em."

"Gwen's one of the best marksmen I've ever met," Viktor boasted, patting her on the back softly. "Says she doesn't like it, but if she wanted to, she can probably even surpass Bu--" A quick nudge to his ribs delivered by Gwen was enough to cut him off. "Right, well, she's good. But she still prefers knives."

"Knives?" Spencer spoke up for the first time in a while, eyebrows raised in curiosity. He watched as her eyes tried to mask her discomfort towards him. The little action made him gulp. "Knives?"

Gwen, pushing aside her surfacing feelings, only smiled smugly before pulling out a dagger, seemingly out of thin air, throwing it towards the target practice without even looking.

"Bullseye," Derek grinned, looking at the dagger and regarding her throw enthusiastically. "Alright, Pretty Girl, seems like you've been holding out on us."

She smirked at him, flicking her hair off her shoulder. "Careful," she teased. "I train with Avengers."






Hotch found himself standing by the doorway of what's going to be his and Jack's room. JJ and Alina were there, watching the two kids. The latter smiled in greeting when she realized he was there.

"Hey," she greeted, standing up from where she knelt as she played with the kids. She waved awkwardly. "I'm Alina."

He couldn't help himself from noting the fact that she didn't offer a handshake. He nodded in greeting. "Aaron Hotchner. You can call me Hotch."

"In that case, call me Lina," she smiled at him, fidgeting slightly. The sincerity in her tone and the warmth in her eyes was a little disarming, but instead of completely relaxing, he shook it off, and reminded himself that she was still a stranger. She stood beside him and tried to match his stance. "You know, Jack kept talking about Gwen. Bragged about knowing that she was friends with Captain America."

The corners of his lips lifted slightly. "He knew?"

"Gwen must've told him at some point," Alina shrugged. "At least we know he can keep a secret." She giggled slightly, craning her neck to meet his eyes. The height difference was very apparent. "Gwen's always been good with people. We call it the 'Gwen Effect'."

He chuckled under his breath, relaxing against the door frame, unabashedly meeting her gaze. "We noticed. We actually called it the 'Finn Effect'. I guess 'Gwen Effect' is more accurate, huh?"

She nodded as she grinned at him adorably. "Definitely." Hotch was surprised with how quick that expression turned serious. "Look, despite not being completely honest about who she really was, it's very clear to me how much she considers you guys a family. She likes being with you guys. And it's really beautiful to see, because she's just...she's just always so closed up you know? I just hope you guys can see past her so-called betrayal and realize that she was just following orders."

Hotch scanned her face curiously as he regarded her words. He can tell that she wasn't one for confrontations; the way she fidgeted, her rather childish mannerisms, made him assume that she maintained a child-like outlook towards the world. The complete opposite of him. But despite all that, he could tell by just looking into her eyes that she'd seen more than he probably ever will in his lifetime.

He nodded at her, still eyeing her curiously, before turning to face his son.






While the others settled into their assigned rooms, Spencer remained standing in the terrace on the second floor of Gwen's penthouse. It was night, and because they were in the city and there's so much pollution, he had a hard time seeing the stars. But he still tried, while his mind tried to reassess all that he's had to process in the past couple of hours.

Not only was the girl he was falling in love with not a real person at all, turns out she was some sort of enhanced individual who can obliterate practically anything that stood in her path.

For once, his heart and mind were conflicted.

Of course, he knew that his heart actually couldn't feel emotions and that the amygdala was responsible for all the inner turmoil he was feeling, but that doesn't stop his chest from constricting painfully every time he thought of her.

The rational part of him wanted to be scared, to be wary, but the on the other hand, seeing her expressions, the change in her mannerisms while regarding the team, made him just want to hold her close and reassure her. A part of him just wanted whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

"You know, they say that the darkest of nights produce the brightest stars," a heavily accented voice stated from behind him. He quickly turned around and spotted Viktor.

Spencer shrugged off his words. "I don't see how that's important right now."

The Bulgarian man sighed as he walked closer to the genius. "It just means that you have to see the silver lining in this situation, Dr Spencer Reid. Don't be too focused on the darkness that looms over you and your team right now, try to think about how bright the future will eventually be. Especially the future you'll have with Gwen."

"What?" Spencer turned to face him so fast that he swore he could've gotten a whiplash. "W-What do you mean?"

"I'm not blind, doctor," Viktor rolled his eyes and stood right beside him. "I can see the way you look at her, and I can see the way she looks at you." At Spencer's still dejected expression, he continued. "She's very fond of you, you know? Since only the two of us live here, and outside of your team and the Avengers, I'm the only one she can actually talk to. And let me tell you, every time she comes home, she would start going on and on about you. It was annoying, to be quite honest, but her smile and the brightness on her face...it was all worth it.

"She feels guilty, that much I can tell. She never usually feels so strongly about people she should consider as merely her missions, but she got attached to all of you. I swear, if she could, she'd just remain Finley Barrett forever. She's so happy and carefree with you guys." He eyed the doctor as his tone became more threatening. "Gwen is like a little sister to me, literally and figuratively. And she's been through hell and back. If you and your team don't get it through your thick skulls that all she's done, all she's doing, and all she might do is for your own safety, then rest assured, once this mission ends, I'll make sure you never hear from her ever again." And with that, he turned around and left.

Spencer let out a breath he hadn't realize he was holding. Viktor had intimidated him a lot, not just because of his words—the man did threaten to pulverize him—but also at the little warning he gave. And that was enough to have him rushing down to Gwen's room.

He was about to burst into the room when he luckily held himself back enough to knock on her door. He could hear some shuffling from the other side of the door before he heard footsteps lead to the door. He felt himself freeze and his breath getting stuck in his throat, but right as he tried to regain some sense of control over his body, Gwen had opened the door.

"Hi," she greeted softly, smiling a little at him. Despite her efforts not to show her confusion, her uncertainty, her hurt, he could still see it. This was the first time he able to fully read her, and he didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing. "Do you need something, Spencer?"

He didn't expect to feel hurt over something as minuscule as not hearing his nickname tumble from her lips. He shook it off. "U-Uh...I-I just...I...can we talk?"

Gwen looked into his eyes, trying to find any sign of animosity, but she found none. She licked her lips slightly as she opened her door completely and let him into her room.

Spencer, of course, began profiling her room. It was pretty bare, but it was similar to how she decorated her desk. He still doesn't know if she was simply just a minimalist, or if she was just used to picking up everything and leaving without a trace. He hoped it was the former.

"So...what do wanna talk about?" Gwen asked awkwardly. It was the first time she's ever felt awkward around Spencer, and she didn't know what to do, which showed in how she played with the strings of her sweatpants.

He watched her fidget fondly before clearing his throat. "I, um, I just wanna say that..." He cleared his throat again. "I just want you to know...that I don't care if you're Finley Barrett or Guinevere Chase...I just...I just want you. And I'm sorry it took me a while to say that." He didn't expect her to throw her arms around his shoulders and pull him to flush into her, hugging him tightly. He let himself bask in the moment, his hand trailing up and down her waist before settling on her hips as she buried her face into his neck.

"I'm...I'm sorry, you know. I really am," she whispered into his neck. The way her breath fanned on his skin made him shiver, unconsciously gripping her hips tighter as goosebumps rose on his skin. "I didn't expect to get so attached to you guys. I'm just filled with so much guilt and--"

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered back, hugging her closer, moving his hands up to her waist again, gently tracing circles onto her back. He then pulled away slightly, one hand moving to cup her jaw as he stared right into her eyes. Gwen reciprocated the action by moving her arms down to his waist, fisting his shirt a little as if she was afraid to let go. "I understand now, why you didn't want me to try and...you know. 'Cause you were right, I really didn't know you. But I'm more than willing to learn." He smiled a little. "I am a fast learner, you know."

She giggled, loosening her grip on his shirt as placed a hand on his chest, directly above his heart. She smiled when she felt it beat faster. She leaned forward and delicately rubbed her nose against his.

"Thank you," she said simply, before she pulled away almost completely. She moved her hand down to his and interlaced their fingers together. They both looked down at her joint hands with fond smiles before she led him to her bed. They both lied down, face to face, both just admiring each other's facial features, both sporting a subtle blush.

Gwen giggled again as she trailed a finger down the bridge of his nose before giving the tip a little boop.

He blushed harder at her actions, nose scrunching a little as he pursed his lips, looking deep into her eyes.

"Gusto kita," he announced abruptly, causing her to let out a huff in surprise. She never taught him that. "Gustong gusto kita." The way he spoke in her mother-tongue made her feel all warm inside. (I like you. I really like you.)

"Where'd you learn that?" She asked as an uncontrollable smile settled on her lips. "I never taught you that."

Spencer shrugged. "I wanted to impress you."

Her smile turned into a full grin at his admittance. "Well, mission accomplished. I am thoroughly impressed."

He smiled shyly, pulling her into his chest. He carefully placed an arm under head, Gwen helping with the process by lifting her head up slightly. As soon as he's got his arm in position, she laid on it and cuddled closer to him, one arm draped over his waist as she closed her eyes. Spencer then placed his cheek right on top of her head and closed his eyes too, letting himself drift off to sleep. 






Despite being a night owl, Gwen was still somehow an early bird. She tends to be more proactive at night and often stays up late, but she still somehow wakes up just in time for sunrise; she can only assume that it's her body that's been conditioned to automatically wake up early so she can train.

But first thing's first, coffee.

She groaned a little as she slowly felt her body awaken. She was a little confused at first as to why she was wrapped up in someone's arms, but as she opened her eyes, she became aware of the fact that it was Spencer who was cuddled up to her, still wearing the clothes he wore when they had dinner. She smiled at the little pout on his lips as he slumbered, before carefully removing his arms from around her and gently placing them on the bed. Almost immediately, he grabbed onto the pillow next to him and gripped it tight, hugging it into his chest.

Giggling, she stood up and stretched, turning to face the window to see the beauty of sunrise, watching as the darkness of the night slowly fade into bright hues of pink, orange, and yellow. Just as the sun peaked from behind the clouds, she went ahead and walked into her en suite bathroom to pee. Once she was done, she walked into her walk-in closet and pulled out a pair of her old oversized SHIELD hoodie and sweatpants, and placed it on the bedside table right by Spencer. Pulling out her little notepad and a pen, she wrote down a note:

Good morning! :)
Change into these so you'll be more comfortable.
Thank you for last night. xx

She capped her pen, slipped the note right on top of the clothes, and silently slipped out of her room. She yawned a little, still stretching out her limbs as she pulled out the ingredients to make her everyday cup of iced latte. As she busied herself with her daily task—that, by this point, is already muscle memory—she almost failed to notice the man silently sitting on one of the dining chairs. But once her senses caught up to her, she already had a knife thrown in his direction.

Only for the knife to be caught by an all-too-familiar metal hand.

"James?"
















author's note: even though i knew it was gonna happen at some point, it still feels strange not to call gwen "finn" HAHAHAHA

anyways, i hope you liked this chapter. was pretty difficult to write, personally, because of how much emotion i know is running through everyone right now, but as you can tell, they're definitely taking it all positively. plus, the difficulty in making sure i type gwen and not finn is really annoying.

there's an easter egg in there somewhere :>

i hoped you guys liked the little tidbit with alina and hotch. there's still a lot more to develop there, and i'm happy that you guys are showing interest!! no title yet though, but i'm sure it's gonna be an ariana grande song lmfao. i'm still reading through lyrics to make sure it matches with what i'm thinking of writing.

also, i made sure to give you guys at LEAST some time to recover with all that's happened in the past few chapters, so i made sure to give you guys something less angsty and more fluffy, and a bit of an insight into gwen's true feelings.

but of course, i wouldn't be me without ending the chapter with a cliffhanger now would i ?

wonder what's gonna happen next :]

(bugs were heavily inspired by the spider-thing from pjo that led them to daedalus in the labyrinth)

please lmk if there are any spelling/grammatical mistakes! and thank you for all your votes and comments! i'm surprised at how close this book is to reaching 2k votes, plus, we've also reached 1k comments!! thank you all so much <3

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