Violet's Outfit

I missed Ricky terribly, and I knew that I'd screwed up by writing that song, but at the same time, I wanted an apology from him. He'd lashed out at me in front of a bunch of people at North High, and I was still super upset at him for that.

It sounded silly, but I always felt like I had to put on this 'everything is okay' facade when I was around Romeo and Lily and all them.

Two days after everything went down at North High, I drove to school while blasting and screaming along to 'Being Alive' from Company. The Kurt Hummel version of 'Being Alive', that is. For some reason, binging Glee had always managed to make me feel less upset and more in control whenever things were going wrong in my own life.

Maybe it was because of my crush on Quinn Fabray, hell if I know. But still, when I walked into school, I felt a lot more calm and in control.

Today at school was career day, AKA a whole day of me trying to stay awake and pretend I was interested in things I couldn't have cared less about. Due to how hectic the day was, we would be having rehearsal before school.

As soon as we got to rehearsal, we were told that due to our 'adventure' at North High as it was being called, we would be benched from rehearsal for the next week. Which just really sucked, because the next week would be work on Act 1, which is where I'd be having most of my scenes.

Today, they'd be rehearsing the Gaston scene that took place in the first act. The only people who were in the scene were Big Red, EJ, and the male ensemble, so all of us got to sit and just watch.

Not thinking much about it, I sat next to Ricky as usual. I guess he wasn't thinking much about it either, because as soon as I sat, he put his arm around me. Just like normal.

It was relaxing to sit there with him, just because, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I really truly missed being around him.

Once they were done performing the song, we all applauded them, just because they did the song amazingly well.

After that, it was time to head to the career fair. However, as I was leaving the practice room, Ricky pulled me aside.

"Vi, can we talk?" Ricky asked.

"Right now?" I asked.

"Maybe sometime later?" Ricky suggested.

"Yeah, sure! Want to come over to my house later or something?" I asked.

Ricky nodded, "that works. See you later, Vi", he said.

I smiled at him and then walked away off to my class.

As I'd predicted, the whole career day thing had been super super boring. Halfway through, Seb, Nini and I had even begun to play a shitty version of Pictionary using paper scraps I'd found in my bag.

After school, I went home and sat on my bed, waiting for Ricky to show up. He said he'd come over after he was done helping backstage for the show, so I wasn't expecting him for another hour at least.

As I waited, I blasted my theatre playlist and tried to get done some of the homework that I'd been putting off.

About an hour later, I heard the door bell ring, so I ran down the stairs to get it.

"Hey Violet", Ricky said, once I'd opened the door.

"Hey! Come in!" I said.

Once I led him upstairs, we went immediately into my room, ignoring the door to Adam's room which was shut and locked as always- his room was basically a time capsule to last spring.

"So..." I said awkwardly, sitting cross-legged on my floor.

"So..." Ricky said, sitting across from me.

"I'm sorry for the song! I never should've said all that shit about us and our relationship. It wasn't my place to say all that and sing it in front of other people. I was just so damn angry that I thought that would be a good way to get it all out. Now I'm thinking maybe it wasn't..." I blurted out.

"I'm sorry too! I overreacted. I was acting weird that week, you were right. I was just...I don't know...going through some stuff? That's not an excuse. I never should've yelled at you like that", Ricky said.

"It's fine. I promise", I said, smiling at Ricky.

Ricky looked around my room, "God, this room reminds me so much of middle school".

I laughed, "yeah my taste hasn't changed much since then!"

"No, not that. We just spent so much time up here together back then", Ricky said.

"I know. Everyday after school! Look, I even have a picture!" I said, handing him a picture of us in middle school that I had on my dresser.

The picture was an obnoxious selfie of us hanging out in my room after school one day. We both had braces, and just looked like the epitome of everything that was middle school.

Ricky looked down at the picture, a grin on his face.

"Remember when....?" Ricky started.

I interrupted him, "oh god no! I didn't know braces could become interlocked, okay?"

"At the time it was horrifying, but looking back it was kinda hilarious", Ricky said.

"That was actually my first kiss", I blushed, laughing.

"Mine too!" Ricky laughed.

"Remember my mom had to drive us like that to the orthodontist? I was humiliated!" I laughed.

"And Adam took about fifty pictures of us like that", Ricky added.

"I forgot about that part! That was so embarrassing", I shuddered.

"We have so many memories here..." Ricky said, looking around.

"Like, when you got contacts in 9th grade and then came over here and freaked out when it was time to go to bed, and I had to help you get them out!", I laughed.

"And then as soon as I got my glasses on you called me Richie Tozier for the rest of the night?" Ricky laughed.

"Good times", I grinned.

"Don't ask me why I came over here right after I got glasses and contacts and stuff", Ricky said.

"Because you needed my feedback, of course", I laughed.

"Yup, that's exactly it. You got it", Ricky laughed.

"I missed this!" Ricky blurted out, a few seconds later.

"Yeah, I did too..." I said.

"But?" Ricky asked.

"I love you, and I love being with you, but can I admit something?" I asked.

Ricky nodded, facing me.

"These past couple weeks...I really just haven't been liking who I am when i'm around you. I'm just so passive, and I don't even know why", I said.

"I...I kind of feel the same way. It's almost like I'm afraid to tell you how i'm feeling or something. Just because we've known each other for so long and I don't want to ruin all that history", Ricky said.

"Exactly! I just...I don't know. Can we maybe take a break? Just for a couple weeks? And see how it goes?" I asked, tears in my eyes.

Ricky nodded, "...yeah. Just a break. Not a breakup. Just a short little pause".

"I don't want to ruin our friendship", I said.

"I don't either", Ricky added, his eyes shiny with tears.

"I love you", I said, quietly.

"I love you too, Vi", Ricky said, hugging me.

A few minutes later, as he left my room, I wordlessly took off my R necklace and placed it in his hands.

Once I knew he was gone for sure, I sat on my bed and finally let myself cry.

I loved him, I really did. But this was all for the best. I didn't like the way I'd been acting the past couple weeks, I hadn't liked the way he'd treated me.

This was all to help preserve our friendship.

Despite that, I couldn't help wondering, if this was all for our own good, than why did it hurt so bad?

Author's note: hey guys! I sobbed like a baby while writing this, oops. I really wanted to develop their characters and their relationship further, and I thought the best way to do that was to write an emotional scene like this one. Don't be mad at me for it lmao. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this and I love y'all so much!!! Also,,, Ricky Bowen in glasses is a thing now because I said so.

Lots of love, Beth ❤️❤️❤️