Michael's Point Of View ~

I wake up the next morning. The sunlight doing it's best to sneak in underneath the curtains as they hang up opposite the lounge that I have chosen to take comfort in. Squinting my eyes in saddened realisation of the unfortunate events that took place last night. My crave of pleasant dreams shattered as they only left me troubled . . my sleep seeming to be nothing but a restless one. I sit up on the couch, feeling ghostly. These brown eyes of mine feeling as if they look puffy. 

My true love . . she didn't want me. But wanted another man instead. 

I feel empty . . lost. I feel myself seem to disappear like there is nothing of me anymore. Like I have just vanished.

I throw my legs over so my feet are planted back on the wooden floor. Rubbing my tired, red eyes. I feel terrible. The slight throbbing on my head bringing me great discomfort. I groan huskily. 

Do I still believe in love anymore? do I even think it's still real? I don't know. It hurts so bad . . I'm here alone. I hate this. I hate that I still feel like just . . I need her. I need her love but it's out of reach. Does she ever think of me ever since she walked away from me last night? Olivia, do you miss me baby? Ugh. I don't even know why I keep looking towards the front door . . she's not coming back here. She's with Eric. She chose him . . that was her decision. Olivia wants his heart . . not mine. Leaving me damaged . . obligated now and fears of that being the truth of the future that I am afraid of. Her heart was what I hoped for . . what I hoped to find and get to keep in return for the truth of mine. Just looking at her, I always got lost in her eyes. She always had the power to do that. I let her know that she was the one even though all along I watched her love him . . like he's the only guy she's ever had in her life. I feel all of this . . just . . everything and yet I still love her with so much of me. 

How is that possible? . . after she broke my heart. 

It's hard now that she's gone . . so hard, knowing she moved on but deep down inside of me . . I need to try and keep the faith. How can I? . . she's my angel. Still. When I look at her . . I can see her wings. I knew that Olivia was special from the first moment that I saw her. Back to when I first met her 10 years ago . . and I still feel that way to this day. But she has found somebody else to love her . . to hold her and make love to her. That's what I'm suppose to do. But I'm not. It should of been us. We could of been amazing . . fire. We could of been the perfect storm. Instant electricity. I let out a heavy sigh. My fingertips rubbing my eyes . . 

Ugh. 

This is so hard, I feel so cold. Why can't she see that I feel I have no where else to go? Olivia . . coming into my life, a friend that I grew to fall deeply in love with. The two of us having so much history and just never ending memories together. A tear sliding down my cheek. She broke inside, controlled my mind . . stole my heart but now her shadow is all I see. More tears on my face . . I can't take this. 

Does Olivia hear my cry? can she hear me at all? 

Put all these seemingly overwhelming feeling aside and start fresh. Yeah, maybe I should do that. I feel like it finally needs to happen. She has chosen. I need to try to move on no matter how much it may hurt. I just never in my life thought that it would all end up this way cause I was just so in love with her. Now everything has changed . . nothing makes sense anymore. I wish Olivia and I could still talk about it all. I don't know what to do without her. I'm feeling so much different than before . . sad. Lost. It just feels like my whole life is crashing down. If only she knew, I feel I still love her . . but I guess I'll try to let her go. 

Maybe it's time for me to finally move on. Olivia loves Eric . . someone else. And she made that very clear last night. They are getting married and now spending their lives together. She's with Eric . . with him. 

Besides, it would seem as if Olivia needs him . . she wants him . . 

. . and I'll never be him. 

to be continued.