"Easy, Kath!"

Katherine threw a drunk Jude down onto the kitchen tiles with a grunt, watching him hiss in pain and make a lazy grab for his cowboy hat. When he succeeded in making a grab for his hat, he turned so that he was flat on his back, eyes were wide, and she fought back the instinct to laugh, knowing that the room was probably spinning for him. It took her own panic to stop herself from grinning. His hand lifted up to his throat, fumbling to try and loosen the bandana around his neck. Which was weird to Katherine, considering that he was already half naked and didn't really need to loosen anything to cool himself down. Then again, alcohol always made her face and body flush hot for no reason. 

All that, in Stewy Hosseini's penthouse, which took a fight to shove her brother into a cab for. In the middle of New York traffic. As much as she cared about Jude, she never had to take him home since he was eighteen, because he was thirty one and capable of dragging his ass back to his place without her. In truth, he was here because she knew Stewy had a soft spot for Jude, which would make any possible negotiation much easier. After all, Stewy could easily abandon his suave, razor sharp edge and stab anyone with a ruthlessness that could kill on its own - or in English: he could rip apart most companies with his bare hands and sell the scraps for profit if he felt like it. Katherine would much rather use his fling as a shield than accidentally put her company on that list should AGM ever fall. 

Stewy himself took a seat on a bar stool next to the kitchen counter, with a martini in one hand. Of course he was a three-martini lunch guy. His hair was combed back, resembling raven feathers until closer inspection, where little grey hairs were starting to form in his hair and his beard. If he stood, he and Katherine would be at the same height, counting the heels she was wearing. He was still wearing most of his suit, having taken his blazer off and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt behind his loosened tie. His lips were curved into a smile with a look of amusement on his face, watching Jude blink like he just remembered that it was a thing. Manual blinking? Whatever, this wasn't about Jude. 

"So we're just breaking contracts left and right now?" Katherine asked Stewy, with a snarky edge to her tone. 

Jude cursed under his breath, drawing Stewy's attention. "You're not going to help him?"

After hesitating, Katherine moved over to where Jude laid, attempting to help him up, but Jude slapped her hands away. "Fuck off, I can stand on my own. I just needed a minute after you shoved me around New York and made my head spin. Why the fuck are we here anyway?"

"I would also like to ask that question," Stewy agreed. "Considering you barged your way here and accused me of... what? Gossiping?"

"I genuinely can't tell if you're trying to act stupid or if you're actually stupid."

"Uh, no, but I am completely intoxicated. Had about four of these before you came in," He raised his glass momentarily. "And also I may have done some drugs earlier today so that I could get through the most stupid business deal I've heard all week. Almost as stupid as the cheque you gave me. If I knew you were gonna hand me millions so easily, I would've actually tried to fuck your brother."

Gross. Katherine made a face of distaste while Jude got to his feet, fixing the cowboy hat on his head. "Millions? Kath, you're actually the biggest fucking moron when it comes to money and being shrewd. First of all, if that ever got out, hoards of people are gonna try and sleep with me just to get a taste of a handout like that. Secondly, there's no way people need to be paid to sleep with me. For fuck's sake, I won hottest man of the year in 2016."

To make it worse, he gestured at his naked torso, which Katherine refused to look at and Stewy happily ogled. Katherine flipped him off, to his chagrin. Jude sat next on a stool next to the investor, which prompted Stewy to hold out the pick of olives from his drink. To her disgust, Jude kept eye contact with Stewy as he leaned towards him, taking an olive between his teeth and sliding the garnish off the little pick. She could only imagine eating something so bitter would make him promptly spit it out, but Jude didn't seem to mind the taste. 

"Jude, if you could stop making him get hard at the sight of you, that would be great," Katherine felt traumatised by them flirting. "I just want to know how the Roys know."

"Know what? Know that you're trying to avoid jeopardy while that Schiller asshole is getting ready unnecessarily early for his presidential campaign?" Stewy stifled a chuckle. "You think I told them anything? I just gambled away four billion on a risky decision, Kat, I'm not going to lose more."

"So you... you didn't tell them anything?"

"Not a single word from me," Stewy took a sip of his drink. "But speak of the devils, they're in their own jeopardy. Spoken with anyone in office lately?"

"Well, no, I was too busy stressing over... over today. My birthday."

"Oh, well, I'll be the one to give you your birthday gift: they're fucked right now. Stocks have tanked - on the verge of crashing - after Ken became CEO. People don't like him. And he's not doing so hot; came to me begging for a cheque. The deal was great for me, not so much for him."

"A cheque of four billion, I'm guessing," She ran a hand through her hair. "That's why my mom had a meeting with shareholders, because Kendall Roy is CEO. I thought when Roman was talking about the big guy upstairs, he was talking about Logan Roy. Kendall and Roman want my mom to become a small shareholder so that she could spend some money on the company and improve the stocks. Basically, do all the heavy work for them while they sit back and stroke each other's tiny dicks."

"I bet they fuck each other to keep the WASP line pure," Jude remarked, leaning back so that his elbows rested on the counter. "Connor on Roman, Kendall on Shiv — fuck, what I would give to sleep with Shiv Roy. Can't believe she's with that scatter brained patsy. I bet he likes to be cucked."

Katherine rolled her eyes. "I don't need to know your future sexual conquests, you're already a cheap whore in my eyes. It's gotta be bad business if the prostitute has to give money to fuck someone, right?"

"Oh, haha. Get fucked, bitch."

"Apparently you're the one that's gonna get fucked tonight," She frowned. "Or he's gonna get fucked. I don't care."

Stewy seemed to ignore the siblings' bickering. "You know, you could still follow through with what they have planned, and negotiate for veto rights. That way you could control some of Waystar's decisions. If I were you, I'd seal the deal before the old guy takes the reigns. I love Ken, I really do, but he's in over his head playing pretend. And secondary to my goals." He paused. "Well, tertiary. I have a girlfriend."

If they went to her mom first, she was going to have to negotiate veto rights and buy some of their shares. Assuming they would take her seriously more than her mother. The older Montague let out a heavy exhale, wringing her hands. Because if she wasn't doing that, then she was going to punch her brother and possibly Stewy too. This was the last time she was going to help her sister, begrudgingly or otherwise, for anything. It wasn't even campaigning season, she and her stupid fucking lunch pail husband wanted to have a squeaky clean family image to do half the work for them. 

"Cool, just keep this shit to yourselves," Katherine said, with a dismissive wave. "My sister barely even likes you. Actually, she doesn't like you at all. Also... she thinks you're Latino."

Stewy's brows shot up. "Oh. Wow. Wait, she doesn't really think I'm...?"

"Yeah, she thinks you're Guatemalan or Colombian or something. Like that Oscar Isaac guy. Thinks your surname is spelt José-ni."

"Jesus, it's Hosseini. I'm not fucking Latino," He let out an annoyed sigh, moving off the stool to stand. "Tell your sister that she's gonna pay for my next beach house if she wants to rope me into her bullshit again. I'm down four billion, so one of you pretentious, silk-stocking fucks is going to."

"Sure, whatever. Jude?"

Before Jude could say anything, the investor raised a finger. "Oh no, he's staying here. You've overstayed your welcome, but he's still invited. I mean, look at him — he's dressed for entertainment."

Jude narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me? Am I just some stripper for hire, for private equity firms?"

"That's exactly what you are, brawn-for-brains. Glad you can catch up with the limited brain power you have," Katherine gestured to Stewy. "So keep him entertained, that way I don't spontaneously use public transport like that again."

She shot him a wicked smirk while Jude glared at her, straightening in an attempt to intimidate her with his extra three inches in height. It didn't bother her at all, especially knowing that Jude wasn't going to be mad for long.

Katherine sashayed off, leaving Jude to drill holes at the back of her head with the way he was glaring at her. Fucking jerk. At least he wasn't the one entertaining broke clowns who shop at Trader Joe's and Old Navy to get his ass beat by their mom. Katherine could run her mouth freely about entertainment if she had a billionaire in her pocket, not some fucking leech that follows her like he even had a chance.

Stewy sat down on his leather sofa, lifting his martini to his lips to drink. His legs were stretched out over the length of the sofa. "Look at that. I mean, it's cool outfit. For, uh, Katherine's little birthday, huh?"

"Yeah, thanks for the condescending compliment. I was planning on making a birthday wishes speech, then a dance number where I get a surprise visit from Rihanna to dance with me. She's Kath's favourite artist, so that was kind of my gift to her. But now I'm here."

"Now you're here," He echoed, his lips were curved into a smile, lowering his glass. "Take it off."

Fuck, he really regretted giving him that stripper for private equity firms idea. Though the Montague can admit, he was really fucking good at giving people a show. Jude unbuckled his belt, pulling the leather off the loops of his jeans in one move and letting it drop onto the Persian rug. The fake gun in the holster slipped out on impact, clattering near the coffee table. He reached behind his neck to untie the bandana from his throat, tossing it onto Stewy's lap. However, when he lifted a hand to take off his hat, Stewy shook his head. 

"Keep the hat, I like it."

With a small grin, Jude spoke. "Oh, yeah? Kind of sounds like you have a problem with how I run my show. You know, beggars can't be choosers."

"Oh, on the contrary, I can choose all of the fucking above," Stewy lifted his vacant hand. "See, I got Ken wrapped around this finger, Sandy wrapped around this one, and you wrapped around this one. What can I say? I'm a hedonist and an opportunist."

Jude unbuttoned the button at the top of his jeans, tugging down the zip. "I wouldn't brag so soon in the race."

"No offense, Jude, but what power do you have? Right now, you're trying to make some private equity funds rain."

"Trying—," Jude took the martini from Stewy's hand, before letting it drop from his own hand. "—And succeeding."

He moved on top of Stewy, with a knee wedged between the Hosseini's legs and a hand on the sofa's arm behind the investor. Jude lowered his head towards Stewy, drawing closer until he could kiss him. He could taste the bitter tang of gin and vermouth, with hint of sour sweetness from the lemon twist. Considering that it was the closest thing to consuming more alcohol, he was happy to share the taste, letting his bloodstream go crazy with lust and liquor.

Stewy's hand lifted up to Jude's unzipped pants, disappearing beneath the fabric of Jude's briefs. His body was semi paralysed with waves of electric leaving a tingling sensation all over his body, including his tongue. All he could do was softly groan into Stewy's mouth, rocking his hips against the older man's hand. He was sure this was every investor and business broker's wet dream: having all the power while Jude, helpless to senselessness, fucks himself with their hand.

"Fuck, I gotta mention..." The Montague trailed off, letting out a shaky breath. "I gotta mention that I don't need other people's money. They need mine."

"What you need is a proposition, then," Stewy's voice, typically smooth and suave, came out slightly raspy. "You'll want to hear it, it's about Sandy Furness taking shares—"

Before he could continue his proposition like it was his métier, Jude leaned down to kiss him again. His hand subconsciously squeezed Stewy's right thigh with every wave of pleasure that made each breath shake. For one, Jude wasn't the best at paying attention to the business side of things. His mom wasn't really that interested in teaching him about it, not that she was ever interested in caring about him, and Liz and Kath handled the business parts already. It was more their forte. And two, Jude was too fucking horny to sit through a silver-tongued businessman making a pitch about God knows what when he just wanted to fuck aforementioned businessman.

Besides, if he let the man talk for even a second more, he might accidently sign away his share of AGM to the investor if it meant using the Hosseini to get off. Especially when Stewy was a couple months away from starting his silver fox journey. Stop fucking talking and digging yourself into a deeper hole, you sound like you have daddy issues. The Montague's hand moved up his thigh, using his right hand to unbuckle the Hosseini's belt. 

Jude's lips pressed kisses from Stewy's mouth down his throat and over his bobbing Adam's apple, giving him a chance to speak. "Come on, Jude, just listen to what I have to say. Two minutes tops. I promise it's gonna be worth it."

He glanced up at Stewy, trying to make himself waver with a faint defeated sigh. It was possibly very dangerous that he didn't care about securing his family's company as much as he should. "Later. Happy, your majesty?"

Grabbing the bandana from his lap, Stewy stuffed the material into Jude's mouth. "Work harder for that private equity funds and I will be."