"Our asses are gonna be shot off, then pinned to the wall like freaks!"

Talon's body is glued to my side as he whispers all of the possibilities on why we were urged to stop by the warehouse. We play with the dead almost every day, but I guess that doesn't make you completely un-afraid of losing your life. Not when you're starting to have things to live for.

"Would you take a bullet for me, man? I fear I cannot stomach another one. Literally."

He clings onto my arm, his figure almost dragging behind me as he tries to prolong our walk to the main room. I figure everyone else is already there, and things would hurry the fuck up if Talon got off me.

Every time I make myself available for Ziya, this shit job manages to pull me away from her. I can't be with her in all the ways that I want. Not when I do this, and it's slowly driving me insane. Ziya scheduled a lunch date, even if short, because she missed me. God knows I missed her more, and wished to be in her space at almost every second.

She looked at me in ways she normally wouldn't allow. It was as if she was finally allowing herself to be with me. I would love to have her heart in my hands, and not just her body. She shows independency, and it's clear to any eye that giving her trust, respect, and love is not something done easily. Carelessly. But it feels different with me, and I don't spew cliche bullshit for kicks and giggles.

"Malik—"

"Talon, they'd probably shoot you because of your mouth. I'd volunteer to shoot you in the mouth if you don't shut up."

His lips snap closed, but the big child still won't let go of me. I understand I wasn't completely here for him the last time, and he could have died. Talon loves life, and he loves his life. I wouldn't make the same mistake of not being here for him. I would still prefer that he didn't strangle my arm to the point of no circulation.

We turn the corner to see the entire crew lined up against the wall. Their faces are screwed up in anger and distraught. It's a sight I'm used to seeing, but the reason now is unknown to me. They all turn their heads like our presence is the icing on the cake. Their frowns turn deeper, with their eyes squinting to see if we're real or some shit.

Talon clutches his stomach absentmindedly as I turn away from them. For something so important, they're standing like damn statues and wasting my time.

"Did someone die?" Talon jokes, "fuck, the tension is high in here."

"Michael died last night. He wasn't on any jobs, and we all think it was an ambush. The amount of product that was stolen from under him set us back by seventy thousand."

Jameson's voice holds utter betrayal. Whoever did this ambush was smart enough to do it when suspicions are high. We don't know who the mole is, and we don't know what motherfucker is stupid enough to work with them. Seventy thousand dollars is a good amount of money to lose, and that's where my heads at.

I hold back any sighs at the thought of most of these guys being at their lowest game because of a death. I don't know how close they are, neither do I care. They can cry in each other's arms and paint their nails in grief after we earn this money back, and learn who the fuck is messing with our ordeal.

What they do after that is on them. These are grown men who act like they need a babysitter and someone to hold their hand every step of the way. In this business, that'll get you in jail or dead. I see the latter got to Michael.

"We're earning this money back, and then some. I want triple the price of what we lost, because we don't need any setbacks when we're starting to climb the social latter of power and business."

Something I still don't care about, until it affects my pay.

"Everyone is on jobs today until I say we stop. There is a mole among us, so I want you looking at everybody—even if it means looking at each other. If I find out that any of you withheld information that stops me from doing what I need to, you're dead. I will be the one to end your life, and you know I don't make empty promises."

Everyone openly touches a wound on their body that I remember causing. Talon grips his stomach again, even though I didn't give him that wound. Still, he knows my words will always ring true. And it's how I know things will get done when I want them to.

"If you think Michael was caught dead, then imagine that for you. Your actions are on you, so if you die—that's on you. I warned you, and I suggest you cut all personal ties with the people around you. If you don't want them being hurt, like Michael, then you'll do that. If you don't give a damn, then neither do I."

I didn't give one from the minute I decided to join, and I don't give one for them now. I glance momentarily at Talon because that's who the message was for. He's getting serious about James, and vice versa, I'm not blind. But James doesn't know the skeletons in our closet, and the risks are too high. It's the same for me, and it fucking sucks my soul into oblivion when I think about cutting Ziya Caddel from my life.

She was suspicious of me before, and I wish I laid my life bare right then and there. Then, if she had accepted me, there would be a chance for me to have her. I wouldn't have to hide the part of me that shouldn't exist in the first place, and that's just the bottom of the list. It's funny how life can fuck you over a million times, and still decide that you're capable of taking more. Not every soldier is strong, and not every soldier is willing to live their life despite the challenges.

I don't know what soldier I am.

Talon backs away from the battlefield of pussies that stomp their way around, trying to land their hands on any good weapon they see lying around. They grab duffel bags with all different kinds of product and content that hasn't been approved by anyone. They're Ambino's responsibility and he's the biggest pussy of them all. I wouldn't be surprised if he was dead in an ally by midnight. Maybe I'd have a reason to be mad then, because someone got to him first.

Talon stands close to my back, his harsh whispers beating against my ear, "I will not cut him from my life."

The room empties out, and I take that as my cue to resort to my office. I won't leave until I have an exact pinpoint on where I should go. My feet barely move underneath me before Talon's gripping my arm with enough force to gain my attention.

"Malik. I am not cutting him off."

"Okay. Tell him that you're a drug dealer. That you sell weapons, that you've killed with your own two hands, and sold product that could kill. Tell him that you won't stop because this is the life that you've grown to know. Tell him that you're the kind of man he puts away for a living, and then tell him that knowing you puts a target on his back. And then protect him, Talon."

His grip loosens with every jab that I spew out, because Talon has decided to put his heart on his sleeve for the right person but at the wrong time. I can't fault him when I've done the same, but the difference between us is I know how to back away. I know I cannot get what I want—who I need—and to further it, this is to protect her. Severing my ties with a woman who challenges a goddess should be one of the easiest things I've done. Should be. But it won't be. I won't fool myself.

"We're fucked," Talon groans into his hands. He sounds hurt, and it's unfortunate that I need him that way.

I need his drive, his hurt, his vexation, and his desperation. Those will be the things to keep him afloat because it seems like we're the soldiers that never make it off the battlefield. Not without it leaving us scarred to the point of no return. Not without it possibly costing us our life, and the odds were never in our favor.

"We chose this life. Now we stick with it."

"Don't get wise on me, because all it does is make me want to stab you."

———
A shorter chapter, which could feel like a filler chapter. The next chapter may also be on the shorter side. But things just did a 180 and got REAL.

Thoughts? About Talon's blatant attraction to James? Do we think they'll truly be able to stay away from each other?

———
QOTD: Who do YOU think is the mole?
AOTD: 😈 Wait and see.

———
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