"Oh, winter comes. Oh, winter crush all of the things that I once loved. Winter come. Winter crush all of the things that I once had"
-Winter | Daughter

DECEMBER, 1941
Staring at the little white envelope in my hands, time felt still as I read the words over and over again, hands shaking softly, my head screaming at me in disbelief, trying to convince myself what I saw wasn't real. But as each second passed, the tears kept falling, dripping, dripping, dripping, streaming past my cheeks, hitting the paper till it was damp.

At this point, I didn't know how long I was sitting there, reading the paper over and over again as my heart continued to break with every second that passed. It wasn't until I heard a little knock on the kitchen door frame, a deep, soft toned voice that soon followed, breaking me from my trance-like state.

"Hi, Doll! Whatcha doing?" His voice ever so innocently spoke.

"Doll?" He now questioned, his voice faltering as he moved his way towards me, a curiosity in his tone as I knew he felt something was off, he knew something was off. After all, we've known each other forever. We always knew when something was wrong with the other.

After a moment of silence between the two of us, his movements timid, mine nonexistent as I couldn't take it anymore and found myself blurting out, disrupting the somehow calm quiet moment

"How long?" I blurted, finally asking the burning question I had building for the whole time I sat here, bugging me, taunting me, with every single second that passed by.

"How long did you know? When did you do this? H-H," I stammered as my hands shook, the letter falling slowly to the ground, landing face up for everyone to see, revealing its dark intentions to the world.

Instantly we both looked down at the ground, the neat handwriting lied there, taunting us, taunting me, as the look of realization finally hit Bucky with the look of pain filling his features as well.

"Doll, I can explain," he began but I cut him off.

"No. N-No. D-Don't. Don't give me an excuse, James. Give me an explanation. Give me a good explanation to why you're leaving! Why would you do this!" I squeaked out and watched as his face fell.

Instantly he dropped down to his knees, cupping my face gently into his hands. His thumbs softly caressing my cheeks as a soft sigh escaped his lips, shaking his head with a sad look in his eyes as I waited for him to speak, even if by now I had closed my eyes tightly, wishing for it all to not be real.

———

I couldn't stand to see her like this. I couldn't stand to see her a mess, to see her sad. I couldn't even stand to see her cry. After all, in the 11 years I've known her, I always knew I had a soft spot for her, knowing that it would never go away. So I walked toward her, watching her hands tremble, only being able to imagine what was going on in her mind as on the floor, the little envelope under us lay. Gently I sank down to my knees, kneeling in front of her as I cupped her face into my hands, taking her into my embrace, my thumbs gently grazing her skin in the process. I watched as her fearful eyes softened, looking up into mine as I gently smiled at her, leaning my forehead onto hers.

"Winter, Doll. You know how much you mean to me, right?" I whispered softly to which she nodded in response. "Then you also know I would never leave a dame like you. A dame that changed my life since we were little. You're strong and I know that you can get through this, like I know I will. I know I will. Especially with someone like you waiting," I grinned and watched as she let out a little breathy giggle, even with the pain in her eyes.

"Know that I will come back to you, I promise," I smiled and watched her smile as well until it turned into a frown.

"Bucky? Why did you enlist?" She asked me, tears again in her eyes as I frowned as well, softly kissing her lips, pulling her body into mine, my hands softly roaming her waist, moving up into her hair, gently pulling her even closer, knowing that sometime soon I would have to leave her alone.

Once I finally pulled away, I looked at her, watching her slightly swollen lips tremble.

"B-Buck..." she whispered as I shook my head gently, pulling her closer as I picked her up, carrying her to my room where I laid her down and snuggled into her side. Silently she laid her head onto my chest, her arms wrapped around me as I wrapped mine around hers.

———

The next morning arrives and the sun shines through, illuminating each of their faces, making them stir in their sleep. But as Winter starts to wake up, snuggled closely into Bucky who was still fast asleep, she starts to realize the unbearable truth as it starts to crash onto her, the information from not even 24 hours earlier burying her mind, clouding her judgement, as tears start to cloud her eyes, slowly dripping past her cheeks snuggling into Bucky closer, wanting to believe if she held on tighter, he wouldn't be able to leave her. So she laid there in his embrace, quiet, still, breathing shallowly as she looked up at him finally, admiring his features.

———

When I woke up I saw him still fast asleep, his arms around my waist as mine wrapped around his neck, snuggling closely into his body. But for the first time, in this bliss filled moment, something felt odd. It felt as if I knew something bad was going to happen, but couldn't remember for the life of me what it was. But as I looked up at Bucky, seeing the peaceful look on his face, the events of the night before came crashing into me, reminding me of the news I found out moments before. Softly I felt my heart break as I looked up at him with tears in my eyes again. I felt my body tremble to which he held me closer, his warmth engulfing my body as I let out a small little sigh. All I could do now was look at him and hopefully not have to let go.

At this point, I don't know how much time passed since I woke up, but all I could do was stare up at him, admiring all his features. Admiring the way his eyelashes fluttered against his skin, the peaceful little smile that appeared on his lips as he slept. He truly looked peaceful. So, so peaceful. It wasn't until his voice finally broke me away from my own thoughts, bringing a small smile onto my lips at the sight of his blue eyes staring into my green ones.

"Morning," he chuckled softly, bringing a hand to run into my hair, making my smile widen. "You know, taking a picture might last longer, Doll."

I couldn't help but giggle softly as I snuggled into his arms, making him raise a brow, his arms wrapping around me as I let out the tiniest sniffle.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked gently as I only shook my head. I hated the idea of letting him go.

"I don't want you to go," I whispered softly as he sighed, sitting up with me in his arms as I let out a tiny sob into his chest.

"I know, darling. I know you don't want me to go, but I have to. I want to help, you know that? And it's not me wanting to leave you, it's me wanting to make sure we can have a life later on without worrying about a war," he smiled softly as I sniffled, looking into his eyes as he looked into mine.

"I want a forever with you, Winter."

"A forever?" I whispered softly as he nodded, kissing my head.

"Yes. Forever," he smiled as I nodded. Both of us sitting in each other's embrace for a little while longer until we knew we would get interrupted by his mom or sisters. And gosh, when I tell you the next five seconds was the best five seconds of my life, I surely meant it. Because as those five seconds passed, the door burst open and Rebecca ran in with the biggest grin on her lips, jumping onto the bed with a giggle.

"Morning sleepy heads! Mom said to come get you. Breakfast is ready," she grinned as Bucky grumbled in annoyance towards his little sister, even though he loved her dearly.

"Oh stop it. Mom made your favorite. After all, you did make her cry after she found out about you leaving," she spoke nonchalantly as Bucky's face grew red in embarrassment.

"Great. If the war doesn't kill me, my mom and girlfriend are," he mumbled as instantly I smacked his arm with a glare.

"If you die I'll come and revive you just to kill you again," I huffed as he chuckled and nodded.

"M'kay, Doll," he grinned, making me roll my eyes as Rebecca rolled her eyes as well.

"Alright, Jerk. Come downstairs before mom comes for you," Rebecca giggled and ran off as I looked up at Bucky who shook his head, making me laugh and smack his chest.

"Yeah, Jerk. Before I let your mom come for you," I giggled, jumping up off the bed, leaving the room to go downstairs, instantly being met by Bucky's mom and sisters.

"Good morning, Winter!" Elizabeth giggled out, smiling as she sprung up from her seat, running over to engulf me in a hug, making me smile as I picked her up.

"Oh! You're getting so big!" I laughed as I sat down, sitting her on my lap as Bucky came down stairs with a smile on his face. After all, Elizabeth was the second youngest.

"Hi, Bucky!" Elizabeth then spoke, looking at her older brother with a smile who got a smile in return from him.

"Stealing my girlfriend from me I see," he snickered as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. She rather be with us three girls than you. You're no fun," she hummed as Bucky gasped, pretending to be offended as I just shook my head, setting Elizabeth down and making my way over to Bucky's mom who was making some chocolate chip waffles.

"Need any help, Mrs. Barnes?" I offered and watched as she set the little spatula down, a little smile on her face, mimicking an expression similar to Bucky's.

"Winter, honey, I told you that you didn't need to call me that. After all, I've known you and your brother since you were littles," she smiled as she handed me some plates. "And yes. Could you help set the table?" She asked sweetly as I nodded, instantly working my way towards the table to set it up for the morning, smiling at the sight of everyone getting together, Bucky happily hanging out with Rebecca who was a little on the side lines seeming slightly lonely from the fact everyone was a little older than her. Right now, everything didn't seem to matter that much as for this one day, we all seemed to have forgotten that in a couple days, Bucky would be leaving us to go to the war...and in those couple of days...it turned out for the worst...

———

For the next few days, Winter and I would be around each other, taking these days to ourselves to do whatever we really wanted. Anything as long as I was with her and she was with me. But now, we were at my place, Steve was out doing something, as she was sitting on the couch, her foot bouncing anxiously as she looked worried, her fingers softly playing with the ends of her hair.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked gently as I sat next to her, a frown on my face as I took her hands into mine, placing gentle little kisses onto both of them.

"Babydoll?"

I looked up and saw the look in her eyes, her eyes glossy as a small tear rolled down her cheeks. Gently her hands shook in mine as I sighed, knowing what this was about.

"Look, I know I leave in a few days, but it's alright! I'm here with you right now and we'll make the most of the last few days. Then when I get there, I'll write to you and then when I come back, we can have all the cuddles you want. We don't even have to leave the house. But know that it will be alright, okay?" I spoke gently, running a hand through her hair with a little smile, watching as she flinched softly at my words making me frown.

"Do-"

"Please. Please don't say it, Bucky. Please don't say it, because it's not going to be okay! In a couple of days I'm going to be losing you! I can't lose you, Bucky! I can't! You know what happened to my dad! I can't. I-I can't, Bucky!" She sobbed as her body trembled at the thought. It broke my heart to see her like that. It really did.

"Winter. I know you're scared but I promise I'll come back. I promise you, okay?" I spoke softly, gently taking her hand into mine again but quickly she pulled away, closing her eyes as she stood up, a soft whimper coming from her.

"But you can't promise that, James! You can't promise you won't get killed! You can't promise me you won't get hurt because you don't know that! You don't know what will happen to you and I don't know how you can be so careless about that! What about your mother?! Elizabeth, Alice, Rebecca! What about them?! What about me..." she whispered as I was frozen. I didn't know what to tell her.

"I want to have a life with you, Bucky. But I can't do that if your d-dead," she muttered as I went to pull her close but she pulled away before I could.

"Don't touch me. I'm going home," she frowned and instantly walked out of my room, rushing down the stairs, and rushing out of my house, leaving me there, confused, hurt, and scared.

———

A few days went by after I left his place that night. We still haven't talked to each other, nor have I left my room. At this point, Steve started to get worried, trying to ask what happened that day as Bucky was getting into more fights now, drinking as well, and Steve having to watch over him cry at nights which Bucky rarely did. But now, as three days passed, I was feeling more alone than ever until Steve gently knocked on my door.

"Hey, um. I know it's not my business between you and Buck, but he misses you, you know?" He spoke as I let out a little sound, making him know I was still alive at least.

"Can I come in?" He asked to which I didn't respond, making him sigh softly.

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not. I'm tired of the punk coming over drunk to just pass out on the couch. His parents and sisters are worried about him, Winter, and quite frankly, I am too. About both of you. So I'm coming in," he spoke as I got out of my bed, opening the door with a frown.

"What," I huffed as he rolled his eyes.

"Nice to see you too, sleepy," he hummed as I sighed, going back to my bed, plopping down with a little whine.

"You don't have to talk, but you know what tomorrow is. He's leaving tomorrow and he asked if he could see you before he goes. Wanna know what I told him? I told him that's up to you, and when I tell you his face fell, it fell. He then proceeded to beg me to let him see you, even if it's while you were asleep. Winter, he's scared. You know how much this means to him," he spoke as I looked over at him, grumbling as I rolled over, resting my head onto his lap.

"People think he's single," he spoke in a sing-song voice, making me look up at him with a glare.

"Well he's not," I snapped, making him laugh and shrug.

"Well, that's not what the girls think when he's at the bar," he hummed, making me sit up with a frown.

"Is it bad of me to not want him to go? I don't understand how mom was so okay with it. With dad going," I whispered as Steve sighed, shaking his head.

"She wasn't. But she knew he had to."

I sighed and shook my head plopping down on my bed.

"Steve. Leave. Please," I mumbled, making him sigh, getting off the bed and heading out of my room and down the stairs, leaving me completely alone.

———

Later on that night, Winter couldn't sleep, and neither could Bucky who lied awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He tossed and turned, trying every way possible to fall asleep for the next morning, knowing he had to leave at 5 to get to the docks at 6. It wasn't until 1 in the morning where he finally got out of his bed, heading over to Winter's place, knowing he couldn't leave without seeing her one last time. Knowing that if he did die, he needed to see her. Even if she wasn't there to say goodbye to.

After finally arriving at the Rogers' house, he went to knock on the door but it instantly opened. Steve.

"Awake?" He spoke as Bucky nodded, a sad look in his eyes as Steve sighed, already knowing why he was here.

"She isn't home. She went out earlier. I don't know where, but she isn't here, Buck. I'm sorry," he spoke as the look in Bucky's eyes fell, his whole face fell, his heart breaking.

"C-Can I stay here then? Wait till she comes home..." he trailed off, wanting to see her. He needed to see her.

"Yeah. Sure. But I can't promise her coming back tonight..." Steve whispered as all Bucky could do was nod, walking in to sit on the couch, his leg anxiously bouncing up and down again, afraid of what might happen next.

Of course, when the morning came, Winter still wasn't back. It was 4:30 in the morning by now, and she still wasn't back. He had no idea what to do as a single tear rolled down his cheek, seeming to know he wouldn't be able to say goodbye.

"I guess I should go..." he whispered, getting up off the couch, walking out of the house, back to his house to get ready. Now, it was 5:30 in the morning and he was on his way to the docks. His heart seemingly breaking over and over again as he stood there, looking back. By now he was constantly looking over his shoulder as if waiting for her to appear, but disappointingly, she did not. As when he finally boarded the ship and sat down, he watched the ship slowly drift away and away from the docks, away from her, breaking his heart even more.
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A/N: Hello, again! I hope you liked this chapter! It was a little long hehe. My goal is to make each chapter a little on the longer side sooo...anyway, again, comment! Don't be shy! I love reading them as well as seeing the feedback I get! Hope you enjoy!
-Caity 🥀
ps: are the pov's confusing? I hope not..I'm trying a new little style Bc I feel like adding the names is creating a bit of a break/interruption more than it should. Anyway, tell me what you think! ❤️