There are multiple trigger warnings for this chapter. Please do not read any further if the following topics are sensitive to you: non-explicit sexual content, verbal abuse from a parent/arguing with a parent, yelling, and anxiety attacks/sudden panic.

⸻⸻ .·:*¨༺ ♛ ♡ ∞ ♡ ♛ ༻¨*:·. ⸻⸻

Time passes in a fog. It was now the middle of November, leaves tumbling to the ground in rays of warm colors, leaving trees bare and ready for winter. The temperatures run colder, skies gray with threatening rain that never dares descend onto the Earth.

Wooyoung had placed in his request to be placed in the performing arts program almost five weeks ago, switching over his classes for the next semester and preparing himself for a lifestyle change. He was happier now, practicing everyday with San and attending their group lessons (with the professor's permission, of course). San welcomed the younger and encouraged him, watching his passion envelop his mind more everyday until he could fully dive into his major.

Wooyoung felt himself drift into healthier habits, following San to the gym when he felt up to it and actually taking the time to study when he needed space to decompress.

Today, however, Wooyoung wakes with the feeling of dread settled into his stomach. It was Saturday and mostly cloudy, leaving the younger to lay in bed longer, tugging the blanket further up his body with the grumbles of escaping slumber. Barely any light peaks through partially closed blinds, leaving the room decorated in shadowed darkness, which was hardly enough to encourage Wooyoung to stumble out of bed.

San claimed he wanted to go to the gym really early in the morning, so he opted to sleep in his own dorm, leaving Wooyoung to snuggle against his comforter warmly. Seonghwa had slept with Hongjoong again, which seemed to be an every night ritual, leaving Wooyoung alone in his dorm.

He didn't mind the silence, nor the peace, finding it healing to his own frazzled mind. He spent a lot of nights stressed beyond belief, anxiously crying and wondering why he chose dancing over his family, but after consoling words from San and Seonghwa both, Wooyoung finally settled on his decision to choose himself. He didn't hate his parents, he actually did love them, but he hated what they nearly made him do. He wanted to choose his own path and start his own future without the impression of overbearing parents. He wanted San in more than just one way, devoting himself to a relationship that meant the world to him. He would do anything to keep San in his life; and he meant anything.

With their relationship, came the unknown agreement that San could come and go into Wooyoung's dorm as he pleased, borrowing Seonghwa's dorm key for the time being until the elder actually needed it. Most of the time, Wooyoung was in the dorm studying or sleeping, leaving no real reason for Seonghwa to take his key with him anymore, but to avoid getting in trouble for not actually sleeping in the dorm he was paying for, Seonghwa tried to sleep in his own bed at least twice a week.

The further the sun crawls up into the sky, the harder it becomes for Wooyoung to resist the urge to finally wake. It was almost ten in the morning, so it wasn't late by any means, but Wooyoung's will to actually be productive was at an all time low. He personally wanted to wait until San came back from the gym, forcing him out of bed with loving kisses and waist-placed hands, but he groaned, arms stretching with a defeated sigh as he tossed the comforter away and reached for his phone.

A single missed text pops up on his screen the moment he taps his device awake.

Sannie

I'm on my way back from the gym. Are you awake?

Thankfully it had only been a couple of minutes by the time Wooyoung noticed the text, unlocking his phone and swiping into his text messages, replying back with rapid fingers.

I'm awake now. Are you going to shower first?

Barely a minute passes before another text comes through and vibrates his phone.

Sannie

Unless you'd like to hug me when I'm sweaty, then yes.

Mhm, tempting, but I think I'll wait.

Sannie

Good choice. I'll be quick.

Keep your door unlocked for me. Hwa needs his key for the day.

See you in a few. ♡

Wooyoung was admittedly excited to see his partner, he always was, so the thought of seeing him spurs enough motivation to send him tumbling out of bed.

His legs carry him towards the bathroom where he conducts his short ritual of brushing his teeth and toying with his hair, then walking towards his closet to pick out fresh clothes for his day off from studying and productivity. He reaches for his usual black joggers while also snagging a dark gray shirt from a hanger, swapping out his clothes with subtle hums of a song tumbling across his lips.

But as he waits, he settles down in his desk chair, thumbs occupied with scrolling through various apps on his phone mindlessly. Wooyoung was growing mildly impatient, chewing on his bottom lip as time continued to tick past, that is, until he heard the door knob be fumbled with moments later.

"Young'ah?" A voice mumbles outside of his door as his eyes trail upwards and away from his screen, watching the handle turn downwards to push the door open. San appears on the other side, a smile pulling to his lips the moment he sees the younger settled on his own chair. San's hair was wet, and Wooyoung didn't mind one bit. San looked great in everything, but especially with damp hair. Wooyoung immediately rises from his chair and trudges towards San, meeting the elder near the middle of the dorm and engulfing him in a tight hug.

"How'd you sleep?" San asks in a mumble, pressing a kiss to the crown of Wooyoung's head.

"Fine." Wooyoung hums, leaning away from the hug to tilt his head upwards slightly, eyes still red from waking up. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I did," San looks down at the younger, eyes studying his gaze for a moment. "I sleep better with you, though."

"I know. Me too." Wooyoung kisses his lips softly, head tilting back down to rest on his shoulder sleepily.

"What's on the agenda today? Do you want to go anywhere?"

"Well, there is a new horror movie that came out last night. We could go see it." Wooyoung offers, almost unsure of how his boyfriend felt about the genre.

"If you want to go, then let's go." San's finger travels beneath the dip of Wooyoung's chin, tilting his head up lightly, just so he can gaze into the somber, brown eyes looking right back at him. Wooyoung can feel his heart stutter within his chest, a magnet pulling him towards San objectively as he meets his lips again in a bruising kiss. It's not tender like before, hinted with a trace of something that Wooyoung hasn't tasted yet. It's slightly hungry, pressing and warm, all gifted from the front of San's surging lips. Wooyoung doesn't mind, not even in the slightest, but he breaks off the kiss anyways, hoping to resist the temptation of heat seething in his abdomen.

San smiles at him, hand gently soothing circles on his jaw before it drops back down to his side, pulling away as he waits for Wooyoung to speak.

"Let's go on a date." Wooyoung raises his brows with a very subtle smile, watching surprise rise in San's expression.

"I don't think we've been on one properly yet, have we?"

"No." Wooyoung pouts. "Take me on one, San'ah."

"Whatever you want, Woo." San sighs with a smile, reaching for his hand and heading for the door once he feels Wooyoung's fingers tangle with his own.

The same promise, one Wooyoung grew oddly fond of, radiates warmly in his mind. He thinks into it more than he probably should, strolling out of the dorm hand in hand, quietly giggling at one another as they walk through the hall and towards the stairs. San leads him down stairs and out of the dormitory, skin greeting cold air that breezes over exposed skin with ease. Wooyoung liked how cloudy the atmosphere was on this particular morning, hand slightly swinging San's between them with the pace of their steps. He was happy, openly happy, something he wasn't sure how to express other than in soft hums and with some sort of a pep to his step. San didn't mind, smiling regardless of what weird behavior Wooyoung possessed as long as it made him feel better.

"Did you check the start times for this movie?" San asks quietly, watching the younger suddenly reach for his phone.

"Nope."

"Then why are we heading over there?"

"First of all, you dragged me out of the dorm." Wooyoung holds up their hands briefly, watching San gaze down at their entangled hands with a slight roll to his eyes. "Second of all, I figured that if we were early, we could go eat or just, I don't know, enjoy each other's company?"

"I'm not complaining about any of that," San affirms, bringing their hands back down between them. Wooyoung types something on his phone single-handedly before beginning to scroll lightly with his thumb."I was just curious."

"I just can't believe that we've been dating for a month and have yet to go on a date?"

"It is a bit weird." San sighs. "Does that bother you?"

"No. This is my first real relationship, so I don't know what to expect. Didn't even know that we were supposed to go on a date before we actually started seeing each other."

"Well," San watches a car ahead of him roll to a stop near a stop sign, eyes transfixed on the shiny red paint that gently shimmers beneath the faded sun rays. "I can tell you what to expect."

"Hmm." Wooyoung smiles, placing his phone back into his pocket. "Enlighten me."

"I can promise you three things." Wooyoung turns to look at San, listening whole-heartedly, eyes wide with expectation and curiosity. "I can promise to cherish you. I can promise to never leave you alone and wondering where I am. Lastly-"

San raises their hands, pressing a few, chaste kisses to the back of Wooyoung's hand. "I can promise you that I will always listen to you. I know your parents make you feel like you have no voice and that they never hear you. I don't ever want you to feel like that with me. You can tell me anything and everything. Big or small, doesn't matter."

Wooyoung smiles affectionately, barely squinting with a slight scrunch to his nose. "You can even call me in the middle of the night if you want to. You're my first priority always, okay?"

Wooyoung suddenly slows their pace, nearly coming to a stop as he gazes up at San silently, biting his tongue with a small smile. San slows down, turning around with their hands dangling between them still, almost confused by the change of pace and will to stop.

"I really fucking adore you, do you know that?" Wooyoung admits quietly, hand breaking free of its shared hold to slowly rise to cup San's jawline. San looks at him lovingly, a gentle smile curled on his lips as he watches Wooyoung simply look back at him with his heart on his sleeve.

God, Wooyoung can feel it. He isn't sure if what he's feeling is the four-lettered word of sin, but something deeply rooted inside of him shouts for freedom. He wants to know what it's like to shout the word at the top of his lungs and to say it openly, but he's never felt that way before. Sure, he tells Seonghwa he loves him all the time, but that isn't the same as this. It's strong, willful and full of adoration. It's unfamiliar, and that was enough to scare him.

So, he doesn't say it, and instead he bites his tongue, waiting to see if this sentiment fluctuates or grows stronger since he couldn't exactly name what he was truly feeling.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Wooyoung murmurs, feeling San's hands raise to settle on his hips.

"You deserve everything." Wooyoung's heart bursts. He really liked him. He really, really did.

"So do you, San'ah." San can't seem to stand the distance between them now, leaning close and slotting their lips together, pressing a few, lingering kisses to Wooyoung's lips before leaning away and reaching for his hand again. Wooyoung willfully holds his hand as if his touch never left, fingers seamlessly entangling without issue as if they were perfectly slotting pieces of a puzzle.

They continue on their trek, eventually finding their way towards the theater after another fifthteen minutes of walking. San dutifully buys the movie tickets, heading back towards Wooyoung as they stride over to the snack counter, perusing through several concession items before settling for two separate options. San wanted popcorn drizzled in caramel while Wooyoung wanted stacked nachos, easily convincing the elder that he wanted a bite of his popcorn too alongside his own salty, and cheesy snack.

Food in hand, along with a pair of drinks, the two walk over to their selected theater, turning the corner of the inclined slope to see that the seats were completely empty. To be fair, it was the first showing of the day, but it was a weekend nonetheless. San expected to see at least a few people settled within the theater, but was pleasantly surprised to find that he could share his first date with Wooyoung openly with no audience.

They head up the stairs and into the middle of the fifth row, nestled next to each other with shy laughter and hands full of snacks. Ads continuously play on the large screen before them, flashing scenes from upcoming movies with loud music and overly dramatic play-by-plays. Wooyoung barely pays attention, picking apart his nachos with a hungry stomach as San begs for a single bite.

Wooyoung complies, finding the perfect bite melted with cheese and some sort of meat that Wooyoung didn't bother to identify, handing the chip over with careful, steady hands.

San takes the chip and hurriedly shovels the bite into his mouth with a surprising, but content hum. Wooyoung smiles at him, taking a bite of his own food, sharing almost a similar hum as the taste travels across his tongue.

The more they eat, the more trailers that pass. Eventually, the lights dim and San sets down his popcorn container, reaching over to take Wooyoung's empty container from his lap. Wooyoung mutters a quiet thank you to him before setting his hands down on his lap, one leg crossed over the other, ankle touching his left knee. San sets down the garbage on the floor next to him, turning back to eye Wooyoung for a moment with the intent to turn and actually watch the movie, but he finds himself stuck in what feels similar to a trance. Wooyoung was smiling, hands slightly fidgeting with each other, shirt barely clinging to his chest as he breathed. His eyes were wide, focus stuck on the screen as the music changed and the movie began, long lashes fluttering as he blinked. San watches him for only a couple more seconds, stuck in a haze of love and affection, transfixed by Wooyoung's jawline and his long eyelashes.

A loud noise clashes on the screen before them, turning San's gaze away and towards the movie, watching the supposed serial killer make his first move. Wooyoung's hand reaches over, gently spreading across San's thigh in a warm touch that attracts the elder's attention with rushed focus. Wooyoung doesn't bother to look at him, eyes still staring forwards as the contact lingers wordlessly and comfortably. San turns away, moving his hand to settle directly over Wooyoung's hold, feeling his hand twitch the moment a jumpscare passes on the screen.

San taps his hand softly, turning towards his partner as he watches Wooyoung pass a single glance towards him, mouthing a quiet question of what?

Wooyoung was still smiling regardless of the scare, completely enthralled with the movie itself as he feels San's hand gently reach beneath his, pliantly complying to the urge to hold the elder's hand. San quietly hums, eyes trailing back towards the movie blissfully.

Wooyoung, on the other hand, was surging with emotions. He was happy and excited, adrenaline pumping through his veins as the movie made his heart race. It's thrilling and scary all at once, both of which Wooyoung tended to enjoy, but somehow, the scarier the movie got, the more San jumped. Wooyoung holds his hand tighter, trying to reassure the male that it was okay to be scared and that it was only just a movie, but San wordlessly responds by gripping his hand tighter and continuing to jump at the next scare. Wooyoung quietly laughs at him, hands over his mouth to hide the laughter bellowing in his throat. San doesn't notice, completely oblivious to the younger's directed giggles.

No matter what Wooyoung did, he never did get San to calm down. The movie was only an hour and a half long, leaving San terrified and Wooyoung a laughing mess.

Once the lights turn brighter and the screen dims to darkness, San reaches for their garbage with a cheesy, and slightly embarrassed smile, leading Wooyoung down the carpeted steps again and back into the main hall of the theater. The bright lights were welcomed in San's mind, calming down his rapidly beating heart from the intense horror movie that his boyfriend begged to go see. He had to admit, he did really enjoy the movie, but he wouldn't watch it again. One time was deemed as enough.

"What did you think?" Wooyoung asks, watching San shove their garbage into a nearby trash can.

"Really scary," San scoffs. "Not what I expected at all based on the beginning."

"Well, to be fair, it is a horror movie."

"I get that, Young'ah. I'm just saying though-" San turns to face Wooyoung then turns again, walking side by side with the younger as he slings his arm over Wooyoung's shoulders. "I wouldn't watch it again."

"Oh, don't be such a sissy!" Wooyoung swats at San's chest playfully and San turns slightly to avoid the smack.

"I'm not a sissy!" San laughs. "I'm just more sensitive to scares than you are."

"That's perfectly fair, jagi."

San stops in his tracks momentarily at the pet name, eyes wide in curiosity and an ounce of shock.

"What did you just call me?" San smiles, watching Wooyoung's ears turn a bright shade of red.

"We've been together for a while. I dunno, I kinda just figured I should call you something other than your name."

"Jagiya? Hm?" San teases and Wooyoung moves to hide his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed now." Wooyoung laughs at himself, feeling San's free hand gently grab a hold of his chin to turn his gaze towards him, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

"I love it." San mutters, pressing a single kiss to the younger's lips.

"Mmkay." Wooyoung hums, grabbing San's hold on his chin and kissing his wrist. "Let's get home, yeah? I kinda want to beat your ass in FIFA again."

"Oh, do you now?"

"Yeah. I do." Wooyoung's tone is sweet and slightly higher than normal, teasing right back at the elder with little hesitance.

"You're smug." San urges him to keep walking, dropping his free hand away to linger at his side again. "And you're cute."

"Oh, now we're flirting too?"

"Am I not allowed to flirt with my boyfriend?" San raises a brow and Wooyoung immediately turns his gaze away, hand acting as a blinder to the obvious redness coating his cheeks.

"I never said that."

"Then why are you hiding?" San leans closer, voice a hushed mumble, watching Wooyoung visibly cringe with a short giggle passing through his lips.

"Oh my god, San'ah." Wooyoung turns to look at him, raising his hand to smack his shoulder lightly. San doesn't dodge it this time, embracing the subtle hit and rolling his eyes. "You're flustering me!"

"That's my job, Woo." San takes a deep breath, eyes casted towards the overhanging clouds.

Wooyoung was admittedly smitten. He couldn't help how soft he felt around San, let alone what his mind turns to when he was around him. So, when he turns back to look at San, watching the elder gaze up at the sky briefly, his heart turns to mush.

He's never felt so connected to someone before, besides his deep friendship with Seonghwa, but on this level; he feels like every single day is a breath of fresh air. He's free of his chains, free of his burdens, finally just enjoying his new life. He knows change is coming, but he finally feels like he's able to take it by the reins and hold on tight, rolling with the flow of sudden alterations and accepting it all with open arms.

Wooyoung swore to himself a while ago that he would never let his parents drag him back down, and for once he finally stayed true to his own beliefs. He barely heard from his oblivious parents, both of which remain clueless to his choice of major and somehow thoroughly believing that he chose a medical degree over his life's passion. Seonghwa did his due diligence and had his friend Yunho send over medical paperwork and pictures of lab equipment, all to throw Wooyoung's parents off so he could see his dream blossom into fruition. It worked for the time being, but Wooyoung truly didn't know how long they would believe it.

As he walks back into his dorm ahead of San, he falls down onto his bed, arms reaching for his pillow as he slides up comfortably, kicking his shoes off lazily with a tired groan. San picks up his thrown shoes, placing both his own pair and Wooyoung's pair near the door where they belonged, turning off the overhead light and strolling back to the bed.

"You should lay down with me." Wooyoung pouts. San sighs, lifting Wooyoung's legs to make room for him to sit before placing them over his lap. San's hand tentatively settles on Wooyoung's calf, squeezing the muscle there gently.

"I thought you wanted to play FIFA?"

"Too tired," Wooyoung hums, nestling further into his pillow. "Come on, I can put anime on."

"Fine." San pushes his legs off carefully, sliding back further into the bed as he turns to lay down beside Wooyoung, grabbing for the other pillow Wooyoung seemed to have adopted from Seonghwa's vacant bed.

Wooyoung grabs the remote that rested on the table nearby, turning on the television as he feels San's body press against his comfortably. He reaches for San's hand, dragging it over his stomach, fingers toying with San's lightly, soothing the skin on his hand and running over his knuckles. He moves through the desired app, selecting an anime he's seen many times before and somehow still found great comfort in it. But also, in the event that he fell asleep, he wouldn't have to worry about what he missed.

San doesn't argue or complain, watching the anime begin from the pilot, curiously interested enough to pay attention as he holds Wooyoung against him. Wooyoung moves the remote back to the table, reaching for his blanket to tug over his waist, hand almost immediately falling back to San's as he continues to play with the elder's hand.

The anime seems to pass enough time, almost an hour's worth. Wooyoung was still awake, smiling at small comments San would make to the new show, every now and then telling the elder to be quiet or to just keep watching.

Wooyoung's hand eventually drifted away from San's, leaving the elder to lay his palm on the side of Wooyoung's thigh, every now and then stroking his thumb across the flesh timidly.

At a certain point of the fifth episode, Wooyoung begins to lightly giggle, stirring San to laugh with him, pressing a soft kiss to the side of the younger's neck. A spur of heat is indicative of the kiss, sending his mind into a daze. Wooyoung's tongue swipes across his bottom lip subtly, but suddenly he can't fight the urge to turn and look at San, eyes gazing up at the elder curiously. San raises a brow, noticing Wooyoung's shifting attention, now trying his best to ignore the younger, but Wooyoung seems oddly persuasive.

Wooyoung grabs the hand that rests atop his thigh, dragging the touch down further to his waist. San doesn't twitch, doesn't move; he simply lets Wooyoung do whatever he wants. Wooyoung's gaze doesn't waver, focused on San as the elder continues to avoid him, blissfully ignorant to Wooyoung's sinful intentions.

Wooyoung didn't understand his sudden urges, but the longing feeling of wanting San's hands on him radiates far beyond his mind now, simmering below the hem of his joggers. Needy hands travel towards San's lingering touch, pulling and pulling until the hand reaches his abdomen, just barely hovering near his belly button and the middle of his thighs. San subtly shifts forwards, body turning more towards Wooyoung as his face leans closer, lips ghosting the skin of the younger's neck.

Wooyoung's breath hitches, toes curling from anticipation as he bites down on his bottom lip, ignoring the whine that sneaks across his tongue.

Wordless pleading finally reaches San's ears as his hand reaches beneath Wooyoung's shirt, snaking across his toned stomach with an electric touch that Wooyoung swears sends shivers down his spine. San's lips press against his neck again and again, sucking small hickeys onto his skin as his teeth nip and pull, bruising the innocent flesh before him. Wooyoung is absolutely melting at all of this sudden lust pouring through his body, slightly squirming in the bed until San's hand sinks beneath his joggers and greets him between his clothed thighs.

Wooyoung had long forgotten what it felt like to be touched intimately by another person, lips parting with a relieving sigh pushing through his lips. His eyes flutter shut, letting the pleasure coarse through his trembling body.

"Shh," San hushes, kissing his earlobe, then his temple, listening to Wooyoung quietly fall apart at his touch.

"San'ah, please," Wooyoung turns his head to San's, meshing their lips together languidly, almost unable to keep himself pressed against San as he glues a hand to San's moving wrist. "More."

San complies, sinking his hand further to dive underneath his boxers. Wooyoung feels like he can barely think, let alone breathe, stuck in a haze of desire that struggles to leave. San is grinning against Wooyoung's lips, loving the sounds that flee the younger's tongue as San touches him.

San presses another kiss to Wooyoung's swollen lips, gently coaxing his tongue into new territory, tasting Wooyoung curiously and sinfully, nipping at his lips the more persistent Wooyoung becomes.

This was the first time Wooyoung had wanted any type of intimacy from San since their accidental teasing session near his desk that was only a foot or two away. Seonghwa had interrupted that time, leaving them little room to continue after hours when the heat died down with the rise of their exhaustion. This time, there was barely anything holding them back.

Wooyoung did his best to remain patient, hands glued to anything above San's waist, doing his best to settle into the relationship before submerging into any type of physical intimacy. He didn't want San to think he was using him, especially since he's only ever had sexual partners before, so he remained quiet and complacent, letting the days pass him by without another lustful thought.

He had to give himself some sort of credit, knowing that his patience usually wore thin when it came to being intimate the longer time went on. But San was different. He didn't want to rush things, nor did he ever expect to feel the way he did.

Three words, eight letters, one terrifying statement. Wooyoung wasn't sure if he could ever mutter the words from his lips, afraid to ruin anything they had by confessing to fast feelings that stemmed from a budding friendship with an accidental kiss.

But now, with San's hand sending him into the clouds and hungry kisses on his lips, he finds himself closer to telling the truth than he ever has been. There was nothing more that Wooyoung feared than abandonment, most likely stemming from a wonderful mix of parental issues and some type of anxiety disorder. The words he wanted to usher can never come from a place of fear, he knows that, that's why he bites his tongue again and stays quiet, arching his hips up the moment he feels himself tilting into oblivion.

"Let me kiss you-" Wooyoung begs, hands reaching to thread through San's long hair, lips attaching themselves to San's neck hungrily, biting and sucking on contact to leave bruising hickeys to paint his throat.

Wooyoung's nails reach down to San's back, struggling to stay still as his stomach tightens, head arching back with a featherlight feeling drifting down his chest. Ten more seconds pass of hitched breathing and static noises, leaving Wooyoung no more room for feeling until he feels completely weightless. A breath of relief soars through his lungs the moment he feels euphoria tingle through his body like an electric current. San stops and slowly pulls his hand free, pressing gentle, loving kisses to Wooyoung's cheeks and his jaw, humming happily when he sees a smile curl on Wooyoung's lips languidly.

It wasn't much, but it was something. He really doesn't want to admit to his feelings, but the more time he spends with San and the more time he imagines San's hands on him like how they just were, he knows that the words will eventually tumble from his lips haphazardly.

He's weak. Not mentally or physically speaking, but he's absolutely weak for his boyfriend. Strong feelings or not, Wooyoung was completely enamored. He was bundled in warmth, finally blinking up to look at San with tired limbs and a beating heart.

"You're mine," San mumbles, one more kiss being pressed into Wooyoung's flushed cheek.

"I'm yours." Wooyoung breathes, hand shakily reaching for the side of San's face as he moves him towards his lips, kissing the elder until he feels like he can't breathe.

"Good date?" San asks against his lips, feeling Wooyoung smile against him.

"Best date ever."

"Good." San kisses him again, lingering there, breathing in the younger's shaky breaths as he tumbles down from his high.

A sharp ring echoes through the dorm, stirring both males to shoot upwards and look towards Wooyoung's cell phone that was ringing on the table nearby. Wooyoung breathes through a startled breath, turning to look at San as the familiar ringtone blares through his ears.

"What?" San asks, unaware of the fear settled into Wooyoung's stomach.

"That's. . . my dad. My dad is calling me."

"You have to answer it, Woo." San watches the younger's expression fall pale, eyes turning to stare into the ringing phone. "I'll go get a rag and clean off. Please answer it though. He's gonna be mad if you don't."

"I know." Wooyoung sighs, hand reaching for his phone the moment San rises from the bed and disappears into the bathroom. He hesitates for one more second, pressing the green button to the right, slowly bringing the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Wooyoung."

"Yeah?"

"I know it's been awhile since you've heard from me."

"Mom said you didn't want to see me, so I didn't reach out."

"I know. But-" His father's tone is ice cold, stern; everything Wooyoung hates. "Our friend who is a professor there, Hana, claims to have seen you today."

"Oh." Wooyoung's voice is timid, slightly shaky, eyes immediately rushing to see the bathroom door opening. His jaw is tight, forcibly swallowing the lingering saliva settled on his tongue as he feels a familiar dread pool in his stomach from this morning.

"Why the fuck were you holding hands and kissing a boy?"

"I wasn't." Wooyoung lies through his teeth, feeling San's eyes on him worriedly. Wooyoung looks up at him, internally begging, wanting to throw his phone out of the window to ignore the incoming wave of anger and resentment, but his father continues speaking before he can get the chance to do anything else.

"You are there for a degree. You aren't there to get into a meaningless relationship that isn't going to last. You remember why you had no friends, right?"

"Yes, sir." Wooyoung's breath hitches.

"Don't get distracted."

"But-"

"There's no buts here! You are there to become a doctor. You are not there to get a boyfriend and dance around like some self-loathing whore. You are bringing shame to this family, Wooyoung."

Something shifts in Wooyoung's mind. He isn't sure where the snap to his tone comes from, but a built up anger washes over his mind, seeing anything but the fake doting son that he had been portraying for too long. "You know what?"

"Don't you dare raise your tone at me."

"I'm done. I'm done with you, I'm done with mom, I'm done with your rules and I'm done listening to you berate me. I'm a fucking person for christ's sake, and god forbid that I fall in love and make friends!"

"Jung Wooyoung, I would be very fucking careful with your next words."

"Fine." Wooyoung feels San's hand wrap around his thigh, eyes blinking shut, tears automatically falling with haste. "I'm a fucking dance major. I'm dating a boy and guess what? I'm gay. I've been dancing this entire fucking time that I've been here and have had no interest in becoming a doctor to please your dictator-like parenting style. You have no control of me anymore. I'm a person with my own dreams and my own ambitions and you cannot tell me what to do anymore. Is that careful enough for you?"

"I'm pulling you out of that college."

"I'd like to see you try."

The call is cut off, most likely from his father hanging up the minute he ushered his final words. Wooyoung lets his phone fall to the bed, feeling his chest heave with worry and anxiety, unsure of where to place his racing thoughts.

"Young'ah?" San puts an arm around his shoulders, waiting patiently for Wooyoung to decide if he wanted to talk or if he wanted to be alone. But Wooyoung immediately turns around, shoving his face into San's neck with bridging tears. San holds him without hesitation, one of his hands running up and down his spine to soothe the painful cries that bellow from the younger.

"I fucked up." Wooyoung shakily admits, clutching onto the back of San's shirt tightly.

"Hey, it's okay. We can figure it out-"

"He's pulling my funding. I'm not going to be able to stay here," Wooyoung pulls away from San's hug, eyes traveling to his own hands, shaking with trembling words and anxious tears falling from his reddened gaze. "I'm gonna have nowhere to go back to and I'm gonna have to move away, and I'm never going to see you or Hwa ever again."

"Wooyoung-"

"I made a mistake! I don't even know what came over me, I just saw red and I blacked out and spoke without thinking. I'm fucked! I'm so fucked. San'ah, I really messed up this time-"

San grabs Wooyoung's chin and kisses him breathless. The panic that consumed his mind suddenly fizzles away, melting into the kiss submissively. He was a mess, but he was San's mess. Wooyoung parts from the kiss a bit calmer than before, tears suddenly being blinked away with salty streaks staining reddened cheeks.

"Breathe." San dotes, and Wooyoung nods. A few, calming breaths pass through his lungs before he leans forward again and melts into another hug. "I'm not gonna let that happen Woo. You aren't going to leave and you aren't going to lose me or Hwa, okay?"

"Mhm." Wooyoung wasn't convinced, not even in the slightest. But he was scared.

Everything he had worked so hard towards, everything he loved and everything he had was at stake because of his weakness to his anger. He's never had such issues with boiling rage, but something about his father's tone against San was the equivalent of pouring gasoline on a burning campfire. He exploded without fear, and it's only then that he realizes he said the word he feared the most. Love.

San doesn't say anything. Wooyoung can't tell if San didn't notice or if he was ignoring the hidden confession amongst biting words. He just hoped San didn't think he said it out of spite, but he would never know unless he asked. With the situation at hand, however, he votes to take the quiet confession to his grave instead of bothering to ask.

"Do you want to call Hwa?"

"No," Wooyoung sniffles, pulling away from San. His gaze is downcasted, avoiding, lingering on the feeling of resentment and regret. "I just. . . I just want to avoid thinking about it."

"Studio?" San asks subtly, catching Wooyoung's gaze on his own finally.

"Please."

"Anything for you."

They did go to the studio that night, but Wooyoung was incredibly distant and quiet. He works through his thoughts to no avail, finding it hard to focus as he messes up time and time again. San tries to reassure, but Wooyoung only feels a stronger sense of dread settling in his stomach the more the day goes on.

They spend four hours there and head back to the dorm wordlessly. Wooyoung settles into his bed, facing his wall with shallow, tired breaths. San sat in his desk chair, watching his sides rise and fall until it seems like the younger eventually tilts into a quiet slumber. San leaves the safety of his chair, leaning over to press a kiss into Wooyoung's hair, biting back the urge to say the words back. So he leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.

Wooyoung was wide awake, eyes snapping open the moment San left, wanting nothing more than peace and quiet to fill the space. He didn't want to be so distant from San, but he felt like if he spoke anymore, he was surely going to ruin something else. So he lays there, guilt forcing tears down his cheeks again in his lonely dorm. He sits there and cries, unable to sleep and unable to console himself, fully knowing that he was going to have to leave everything he loved behind.