Lily paced back and forth, a look of sheer frustration etched across her face. "My apartment is a Chinese restaurant. What am I gonna do?"

Ted, sitting on the couch, looked up and smiled reassuringly. "Come live with us."

Lily's eyes widened in relief. "Really?"

"Of course," Ted affirmed without hesitation.

Marshall, entering the room, glanced between them with a hint of concern. "You sure about this, Ted?"

Ted shrugged, nonchalant. "Yeah. I mean, you basically live here anyway. It's not like it'll change anything."

——

Barney, EJ, Robin, and Ted sat in their usual booth, drinks in hand.

EJ leaned forward, his expression serious. "Ted, this will literally change everything."

Barney nodded in agreement. "No, it's like it'll change everything. Oh, Ted, you are so screwed."

Ted looked confused. "What? What are you talking about?"

Robin's eyes flicked to a girl at another table, her eyebrows raising. "And why is that girl checking you out?"

Barney, noticing the same girl, smirked. "Because I look good. Now focus, you and Marshall are roommates. You have an amazing apartment. Marshall and Lily just got engaged."

Ted remained puzzled. "Yeah, so?"

EJ sighed, trying to drive the point home. "So, you're not still gonna be his roommate when he gets married, are you? Someone's going to move out. So who's it gonna be?"

Robin looked at Ted expectantly. "Come on, EJ, I'm sure they've talked about who gets the apartment. You talked about who gets the apartment, right?"

Ted fumbled, "Yeah, we've talked about it."

"Really?"

Ted muttered to himself, "Dammit, Past Ted."

Barney shook his head, exhaling loudly. "You blew it, dude. Now that Lily's there, it's a whole new dynamic. They're edging you out."

Ted shook his head, determined. "That's crazy. They're not edging me out. Marshall's my best friend."

Barney rolled his eyes. "One of my best friends. He wouldn't do that to me."

Turning to EJ, Ted asked, "You and Ben ever talk about who gets the apartment if you ever had to fight for it?"

EJ nodded confidently. "Yep, me. Because I'm the one who found the place and dealt with all the paperwork."

Barney leaned in, his tone conspiratorial. "Just keep your eyes open. That's all I'm saying, Ted. Little things are gonna be changing around that apartment."

Robin dismissed Barney's paranoia. "Come on, Barney, you're just being paranoid. OK, seriously, what is this girl's deal?"

The girl at the other table waved at Barney, who waved back with a grin.

Barney, looking slightly embarrassed, confessed, "Sort of on a date with her."

Ted and EJ exclaimed in unison, "What?"

Barney shrugged. "I found her online. I'm tired of the whole bar scene, the one-night hookups. I'm looking for a soul-mate, someone who I can love and cuddle, or so it says in my profile." He chuckled darkly. "But this girl, she wants the same stuff and it's bumming me out. All right, EJ, Ted, call me from the hospital."

Ted and EJ nodded in understanding. "All right."

Robin looked baffled. "You're going to the hospital?"

EJ explained, "No, see, he's gonna go back over there and one of us will call him and he's gonna pretend that it's an emergency call from a family member at the hospital. It's what we used to do in college when we needed to get out of something."

1998

EJ sat uncomfortably in the dorm room, surrounded by a group of eccentric girls. The room was dimly lit, various quirky decorations cluttering the space. EJ forced a polite smile as the girls bombarded him with bizarre questions.

"So, EJ, if you could be any mythical creature, what would you be and why?" asked one girl, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Another girl chimed in, "And what's your stance on the ethical treatment of imaginary friends?"

EJ tried to hide his confusion, answering as diplomatically as he could. "Uh, probably a phoenix. Rebirth and all that."

The girls giggled, seemingly delighted by his answer. He glanced at the clock, wishing for an escape. Suddenly, the door burst open, and Ben and Ted stormed in, their faces painted with urgency.

"EJ, there you are! Thank God we found you!" Ben exclaimed.

Ted added, "We have an emergency. You need to come with us right now!"

EJ's eyes widened in relief, and he quickly grabbed his things. "Uh, sorry, ladies. Gotta go!"

"But we were just getting to the part about spirit animals!" protested one of the girls.

EJ, already halfway out the door, called back, "Rain check!"

EJ, Ben, and Ted hurried across the campus, the cool night air a stark contrast to the stuffy dorm room. EJ exhaled deeply, a mix of gratitude and amusement on his face.

"Thanks, guys. That was getting weird," EJ said, shaking his head.

Ben laughed, clapping EJ on the back. "No problem. You looked like you needed a rescue."

Ted grinned, shaking his head. "Spirit animals, huh? You owe us big time."

EJ chuckled, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. "Consider it done. Drinks on me next time."

2005

Robin shook her head, amused. "Oh, Lord, fake emergency? That is the lamest, most pathetic cop-out in the book. I expect more from you, Barney."

EJ chuckled. "Do you, though? Do you really?"

Barney smirked. "Well, stay tuned, I'm working on some stuff. But in the meantime, wish me luck."

As Barney stood up to join the girl, Robin turned to Ted. "So, are you gonna talk to Marshall?"

Ted sighed. "He's gonna want the apartment. I'm gonna want the apartment. It's gonna lead to an argument, so no."

EJ, ever the voice of reason, chimed in, "As the man who helped you get that apartment, I think I should decide who gets it."

Ted looked at EJ with a mixture of gratitude and resignation. "You're not helping."

Robin, sensing the tension, remarked dryly, "Hm, that's real healthy. So, when a serious issue comes up, your response is just to avoid it."

Ted, reaching for his phone, muttered, "I should really make this call."

Robin, her curiosity piqued, asked, "Ooh, can I do it?"

With a sigh, Ted handed over his phone. Robin quickly dialed Barney's number.

Barney answered, "Hello?"

Robin purred into the phone, "Hi there, sexy."

Barney played along. "Hello, Aunt Kathy, what's up?"

Robin, stifling a laugh, continued, "Oh, nothing. Just sitting here, thinking about you, hot stuff."

Barney's face shifted to mock concern. "An accident? Well, is Uncle Rudy gonna be OK?"

Robin, undeterred, added, "Aunt Kathy's got an itch that only you can scratch, big boy."

Barney, his act intensifying, exclaimed, "Oh God! Why did he think he could build his own helicopter?"

Robin smirked, "Come on, daddy, break me off a piece of that white chocolate."

EJ, barely containing his laughter, watched with amusement. But listening to Robin talking dirty into the phone? Very nice.

Barney, trying to wrap up, said, "Well, if he needs a transplant, he can have mine. I'll be right there."

Stammering, Barney stood up, excusing himself with a quick, "See you guys later," before hurriedly exiting the bar.

EJ turned to Robin, a look of admiration on his face. "Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?"

Robin shrugged, a pleased smile playing on her lips. "Maybe once or twice."

——

EJ and Robin were leaning against the bar, drinks in hand, watching Barney's antics.

"You're a jerk," One girl declared to Barney before turning and walking away.

Barney shrugged, unperturbed. "No, I'm a visionary. Lemon law, it's gonna be a thing!"

Robin shook her head. "You actually believe that lemon law crap?"

EJ shrugged. "I don't know, Barney does have a solid point. Why spend so much time on a date that's not going anywhere? It's a waste of time."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "For the record, your little lemon law is a symbol of everything that's wrong with our no-attention span society."

"Oh yeah, why is that?" EJ asked, genuinely curious.

Robin took a sip of her cosmopolitan, choosing her words carefully. "It takes longer than five minutes to really get to know someone. You keep giving up on people so quickly, you're gonna miss out on something great."

EJ scanned the bar, his eyes landing on a geeky-looking guy sitting alone at the end. "OK, you're on a blind date, sitting across the table is that guy." He pointed discreetly.

Robin glanced over at the geeky guy, then back at EJ. "You really think it'll take more than five minutes to realize there will be no date number two?"

"Yes, I do," Robin insisted, trying to sound confident. "For all I know, that guy's my soulmate."

EJ gave her a skeptical look. "Oh, is that right?"

Robin faltered for a moment, then nodded. "Y-yes."

EJ grinned, deciding to call her bluff. "Alright, Scherbatsky, let's see."

He walked over to the geeky guy, who looked up in surprise.

"Hi, have you met Robin?" EJ said, gesturing towards her.

The geeky guy, Kevin, adjusted his glasses and smiled awkwardly. "Hi."

Robin, feeling cornered, gave a small wave. "Hi."

EJ clapped Kevin on the back. "Have fun, kids." As he walked back past Robin, he whispered, "Bad move, Scherbatsky. But then again, maybe he could be your soulmate."

Robin glared at him. "I hate you."

EJ grinned. "Bullshit."

——

Before Robin could respond, a girl who was clearly not EJ's type—a quirky, eccentric type who seemed to be lost in her own world—walked into the bar. Robin spotted her immediately and seized the opportunity.

She turned to EJ with a sly grin. "Your turn."

EJ's eyes widened in realization. "Oh no, you wouldn't."

Robin sauntered over to the quirky girl and guided her towards EJ. "Hi, have you met EJ?"

The girl, Emily, beamed at him. "Hi!"

EJ forced a polite smile. "Hi."

Robin leaned in close to EJ, her voice a low whisper. "God, she reminds you of those girls on the fifth floor, doesn't she? At college?"

EJ shuddered slightly, recalling his college days. "You gave me PTSD. Thanks for that."

Robin chuckled, enjoying his discomfort. "Still think your lemon law theory will work? You can't break that poor girl's heart."

EJ took a deep breath, determined to hold his ground. "Oh, you got balls, Scherbatsky. But remember, I never back down from a challenge."

Robin leaned even closer, her lips almost brushing his ear. "Good luck on your date tonight, EJ."

The tension between them was palpable, making EJ's pulse quicken. He straightened up, ready to face the challenge. "We'll see who cracks first, Scherbatsky."

Robin smirked, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Don't forget, I'm rooting for you."

EJ shot her a confident grin, though his nerves were clearly on edge. "Bullshit."

——

Robin and Kevin sat comfortably at a table in the sci-fi themed restaurant, the atmosphere buzzing with futuristic decor and waiters in elaborate costumes. A waiter dressed as an alien served them their drinks, adding to the surreal ambiance.

"Thank you," Robin said with a smile as she accepted her drink.

Kevin looked around in awe. "I can't believe this. I'm sitting here with a beautiful woman I just met, eating at my favorite restaurant. Sweet."

Robin chuckled, taking a sip of her drink. "It's a nice place. It's good to know the future has ribs."

"In the future, food will most likely be served in gel-cap form," Kevin mused. "Plus, cows will probably have died out by then... or be our leaders."

Robin laughed at his humor, appreciating his quirky perspective on things. Her phone rang, interrupting their conversation.

"Just a second," Robin said, picking up her phone.

"Hello," she answered.

EJ's laughter echoed through the phone. "Time's running out, Scherbatsky. Last chance for the lemon law."

Robin shook her head, amused. "Absolutely not."

EJ chuckled mischievously. "We'll see."

Robin teased him back, knowing his discomfort with his current date. "You don't have the balls to break Emily's heart. The lemon law is crap."

Things were a bit more awkward at the bar. EJ tried to maintain polite conversation with Emily, who was enthusiastically talking about her collection of vintage stamps.

"That's... really interesting," EJ managed, his discomfort evident.

Emily beamed. "I know, right? They're so underrated!"

He felt bad for her, he really didn't want to upset her.

But he needed to make a point to Robin.

EJ glanced at his phone discreetly and saw Robin's teasing message. He quickly typed a response.

EJ: She's talking about vintage stamps. I'm about to end it.

EJ chuckled softly to himself, hoping Robin would find some amusement in his predicament. Despite the awkwardness of the date, he was determined to find some way to get out of this nicely, if only to prove a point to Robin.

——

Kevin and Robin continued their conversation, enjoying the unique ambiance of the sci-fi restaurant.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess, there's been a crazy accident and you have to go."

Robin laughed, shaking her head. "No, I would never do that. I don't wanna go anywhere. I'm all yours."

Kevin deadpanned. "Look, if you're a hooker, I don't have a lot of money."

Meanwhile, across town, EJ sat uncomfortably at the bar with Emily. The awkwardness of the date was palpable, and EJ was desperately trying to find a way out. Robin's teasing texts kept coming through, challenging him about the lemon law.

EJ: If you admit the lemon law works, we can forget all about this.

Robin: Not a chance. Enjoy your date!

Emily, sensing EJ's distraction and irritation, started to get annoyed. "Is everything okay?"

EJ tried to maintain his composure. "Yeah, sorry. It's just... work stuff."

Emily crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed. "Seriously?"

EJ saw an incoming call from Marshall and seized the opportunity. "I'm sorry, I need to take this."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

EJ answered the call, his voice hushed. "Oh thank God you called, I need to get out of here." He whispered urgently into the phone.

Marshall's voice came through urgently. "I STABBED LILY!"

EJ's eyes widened in shock. "What? I know marriage is a stressful thing to think about but damn, Marshall!"

Marshall clarified quickly. "It's not like that!"

EJ tried to compose himself, realizing the seriousness of the situation. "Oh God, you're serious. I-I'll be right there."

Emily, overhearing bits of the conversation, grew increasingly agitated. "I knew it! You and that woman, you're just toying with me!"

EJ attempted to explain, his mind racing. "No, it's not like that. My friend really needs me right now. Like now."

Emily crossed her arms, not believing him. "Sure, whatever."

EJ hurriedly gathered his things, apologizing to Emily as he rushed out of the bar. She watched him go, clearly upset and feeling misled.

——

Ted, EJ, and Marshall sat in tense silence, the weight of Marshall's accidental injury to Lily hanging heavily in the air. Marshall nervously clutched a bouquet of flowers.

"I stabbed Lily. I stabbed my fiancé."

Ted tried to lighten the mood. "Come on, Marshall, do you really think she's still your fiancé?"

EJ, still in disbelief, echoed Marshall's words. "You stabbed Lily. Of all people."

Marshall explained in a panic. "I didn't mean to! We were having a duel!"

EJ stared at him incredulously. "Bro, you stabbed Lily."

Ted interjected with a more serious tone. "I think you guys should have the apartment."

Marshall looked surprised. "But you fought so bravely for it."

Ted sighed, his expression reflective. "I wasn't fighting for the apartment. I was fighting for... I don't know... for everything to stay the way it is. But I'm not gonna get that, so, seriously, take the place, it's yours."

Just then, Robin and Barney entered the waiting area, Robin immediately seeking information about Lily.

"Is she OK?" She asked.

Marshall reassured her. "They're just patching her up. She's gonna be fine."

Barney, ever the irreverent one, chimed in with a nonchalant tone. "So get this, I was on a date with this girl, Jackie."

Ted, EJ, and Marshall exchanged surprised glances, clearly not in the mood for Barney's antics.

EJ intervened. "Barney, not the time for this."

Barney shrugged, undeterred. "What? You said she's fine. So, anyway, I was on a date with this girl, Jackie."

Earlier

Barney sat at a table with Jackie, trying to impress her.

Barney: "Wow, Jackie, you make a really great first impression. I have a feeling that tonight you might end up being Jackie O."

Jackie, unimpressed, delivered her verdict. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to lemon law you."

Present Time.

Barney declared triumphantly. "It's out there, it's a thing. The lemon law is a thing. Damn, I should have called it Barney's law."

Robin couldn't resist a teasing comment. "But you're totally..."

EJ interjected, trying to change the subject. "Robin-"

Ted intervened, trying to maintain peace. "Just let him have this one."

As the tension eased slightly, a doctor emerged from the examining room.

"All set. She said she'd like to see the knights of the poorly constructed round table?"

Marshall and Ted got up immediately and hurried into the examining room.

EJ and Robin found themselves sitting together in the waiting room. Robin leaned towards EJ, curious about how his date with Emily had gone.

EJ sighed dramatically. "Oh my god, the stamps. The stamps, Robin. I couldn't have gotten out of there sooner."

Robin tried to be diplomatic. "Kevin wasn't that bad, but..."

Her voice trailed off, sounding unsure and hesitant.

EJ couldn't help teasing her. "Admit it, you didn't want to be there."

Robin countered playfully. "Admit it, you didn't want to mislead that sweet woman."

Their banter paused as they both contemplated the concept of the lemon law.

"I guess, in the end," EJ mused aloud, his voice filled with introspection, "whether you believe in the lemon law or not, it all boils down to taking a leap of faith and making that choice yourself."

Robin nodded, agreeing with his sentiment. She leaned against EJ's shoulder, and he instinctively put his arm around her, offering comfort in their shared moment of contemplation.

——

Ted couldn't hide his disbelief. "Chinese restaurant, I still don't believe it."

EJ chimed in, surveying the surroundings. "I can't believe this used to be your apartment."

Lily raised her glass, calling for attention. "I told you. Okay, a toast."

Everyone lifted their cups eagerly.

Lily continued with heartfelt sincerity. "Life is full of changes. One day you have an apartment, the next day it's a house of dumplings. But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff."

The glasses clinked together, resonating with warmth and shared history.

Everyone chorused in agreement. "Here here. Cheers."

Barney, ever the provocateur, raised his glass once more. "And to the lemon law."

No one joined him in the toast.

Undeterred, Barney improvised. "Self-clink."

He picked up another cup and gently tapped it against his own.

Lily, in her usual assertive manner, interjected with a bit of trivia. "And by the way, I bought these glasses. I bought them at Ikea. These are my glasses."

Marshall's attention drifted momentarily. "I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever."

Lily smiled knowingly. "I'm pretty sure this is a mixtape you made me in sophomore year."

Robin, appreciating the culinary delights, complimented Lily. "Lily, your apartment makes the best Shanghai dumplings."

EJ, eager to express his thoughts, added warmly. "Lily, I think we should come to your apartment more often."

The room resonated with nostalgia as Marshall's voice echoed from a tape recording. "I love you, Lily. Happy Valentine's Day 1998."