How is one to love the parts of oneself that they hate the most? The parts they try to hide. The parts that urge us to seek public validation merely exist. The parts that whisper we are not enough. The parts that echo self-doubts.

A school is a messed-up place. The place where you are only popular for just a handful of reasons. Either you are the one who slams people around and rolls the eyes at teachers. Or you are good at kicking that football on the field. Or maybe you are popular because of all the medals that hang off your neck.

What unpopular is the jerking legs at the bottom of almost every table, shaking hands while reading, and stuttering during a class presentation. The ones who keep these to themselves are unpopular because they hate themselves in silence. While some are daring enough to seek validation.

How much of this validation is even you? How much are you going to do one day the people you please become invisible. Will you continue seeking this validation?

How do unlearn this hate? How do learn to love what this life offers?

July:

The silence in the room is eerie. Seldomly interrupted by the people opening their pens, flipping their pages as silently as they can while some vigorously rubbing the eraser across the sheet to erase a wrong diagram.

Her eyes glance at the digital wall clock hanging on the wall on her right. 9.30 am. One question blankly stares back at her pleading her to think of the answer. But she is mentally isn't in the exam hall anymore.

As she revises her answers written on the exam sheet she sighs knowing she doesn't know the answer to the histological skin barrier of the skin. Had she studied skin! A voice almost whispers. No. She firmly grips her pen staring down at the blank paper sitting in front of her.

There was no time. How do you learn something that was taught one week before the exams start? With no study leave and the appropriate amount of gaps between the two subjects. This is the best she can offer.

No secret crying in the cubicles over 1 mark she is about to lose out of 4 marks. It's okay. She slowly caps the pen and put her red and blue markers in her pockets.

And with the answer sheet on one hand and the other hand working to stuff pens in her breast pocket, she strides towards the examiners' desk. Yelin is still writing vigorously filling up the empty pages with her blues and blacks interrupted by a diagram of reds and blues. Selena's urge to peep into Yelin's answer sheet makes her clench her first as she walks past Yelin with her head low.

While placing the answer sheet on the pile of other answer sheets her eyes catch candies sitting a bowl. Kopiko. As she opens the door and pops the candy in her mouth Maria throws herself onto Selena.

"FINALLY!!!" she squeals, " GOD!" she sighs" "A month!" she sighs again. "June literally FLEW AWAY-"

The door behind Selena opens. The examiner's head popping outside causes Maria to pull away. "There are still girls inside."

The automatic door glides open when Selena and Maria quietly walks put of the examination area. The sorching sun and humid air greets them to melt away their plans of summer beaches and waterfront. The Arab throat of Maria screeches excitedly as she drops to the smouldering baked red brick tiles. Her one hand clicking on her phone.

"My plans for summer are up gain, gurl." She smiles in a typical American accent, "I am leaving for Australia." Her accent switches to Australian.

Selena helps her up smiling beneath her mask. Plans? Planes? Airport? Aariz. Shit. She jumps and gives Maria a quick tight hug before dashing towards the reception block.

"Where're you leaving?" Maria demands in Britsh accent before cursing in Arabic, "Khara."

Selena's bag behind her dares to slip off her right shoulder while the other strap is already hanging on her left arm. Squeezing her way through the bustling crowd of waiting people she reaches in front of the arrival terminal's gates.

The fingers played with the hem of her shirt then the white buttons of her white coat. In the nervousness of anticipation, she fails to see the little girl standing beside her. The toothless mouth of the girl is wide open seeing what she believes is a doctor.

"Dad!" The girl tugs onto the man she is holding the hand of. The squeakiness of the voice diverts Selena's attention from the girl.

"I wanna be a doctor too".

Behind the mask, the father and Selena awkwardly exchange smiles while the girl is still pointing her finger at Selena. Right now, more surprised than ever.

Selena bends beside the girl, "You're gonna be a great doctor!" She waves at the girl but the girl high-fives her and decides to hold onto Selena's hand.

"You are short. You look less scary". She giggles and Selena couldn't help but join in.

" I am sorry. She is excited. Her mom is coming back home today".

"It's okay. She must be happy to meet her". Selena straightens herself.

"Daaaaaad! Don't..." She pulls the hem of her shirt of the man, "say that." folds her arms throwing her side to the side.

"It's okay to feel excited. I am excited too".

"Doctors feel excited?!" She gasps, "I thought they never smile".

"Then you need to change the doctor, young lady. Tell them they are mean". Selena almost snorts as she answers to the girl's remarks.

"Can you be my doctor?"

"If you agree to be my doctor, I'll be your doctor. Deal?"

"Nawww! I am not a doctor".

"But you want to be one?" Selena tilts her head at the girl who meekly hides behind her dad but slowly comes out.

"We both are short. We will be a team of cute doctors". The whispering of the girl spread red blush across Selena's face. Her heart swells with happiness.

"Can I hug you?" The question of Selena makes the girl throw her arms around her.

In the hustle and bustle of people, Selena ignores the shifting shadows around her until she could feel the tall figure looming behind her.

"Can I be on your team?" The voice freezes Selena for a moment.

The girl looks up and protrudes her hip to one side dramatically pointing the finger at the person behind, "No. You aren't cute. And you are big".

"Salma!" A lady sashays towards them with her fingers busy fixing her blazer while her hijab neatly sits around her neck.

"Mamaaaa!" The hysterical screaming of the girl as she sprints through the crowd makes Selena smile. As the mother and the daughter hug each other and the mother lifts Salma in her arm she realizes how it must feel to have someone go home.

To feel at home at someone's place. To feel at home in someone's presence. Clearing her throat when she turns around her eyes land Aariz hugging Nuha while she tried to struggle out of it.

When their eyes meet he finally let go of Nuha. His brown floppy curls bounce. The piercing eyes dared her to break the eye contact. His forward footsteps in her direction make her want to turn around in run into the wilderness of forest screaming. But she stands there scratching her palms.

"Hello, short cute doctor". He bents forward to whisper in front of her masked face.

"Shut up! At least I am cute". She folds her arms but doesn't roll her eyes because if she does, she will lose the game.

"That you are. But you know what? I am hot". The little space between them that has already been suffocating has air vacuumed out with his wink.

"Please!" She finally rolls her eyes for the sake of her collapsed lungs and deoxygenated blood.

His eyes hover on her face before something catches his eyes.

"Come on love birds! We don't have time for your cheap romance!" Nuha exclaims in the background dragging Aariz's luggage away.

However, whatever had caught Aariz's attention has frozen him. When Selena moves to follow Nuha a light tug on her backpack makes her reel backward.

"I am not done here". He announces turning her around to read the badge above her breast pocket. "Head of the media club". She almost flinches away as he aligns the pens in her pocket. "You never seize to surprise me".

"And never seize to creep me out". Awkwardly Selena looks away. "So..." Her voice trails off. Not meeting his eyes she decides to cut their meeting short. "I need to go home and catch up on sleep".

"My heart is your home. You can sleep right here". He places his palm on his chest.

"In your dreams! What got into you?" She finally giggles at him. The voice he had been waiting for months to hear. The voice makes his heart beat a little faster, his brain works a little slower and his tongue is paralyzed.

"You" he wants to say but he doesn't.

"Lack of oxygen to brain probably". Although he wants to continue this conversation further he can't. His parents are waiting for him while her sleep for her.

"May be in my dream the Aariz I will see is hot". She winks before jumping and sprinted her way out of the airport towards the metro station across arrival terminal.

The sun of noon shining cruelly upon them reminds Aariz of one of the Taylor Swift's song that he had recently listen to, Cruel Summer.

Selena can't control the butterflies of her heart daring to burst it open and soar in the skies to their way to Aariz. One last glimpse for today. Her heart screams before she turn to give Aariz one last look.

When she lowers her mask to mouth "may be" the hot oppressive wind blowing messes up with his hair. Or maybe not she thinks seeing Aariz run his hand through his hair smiling at her.

The time at home passes in blur for Selena is busy dealing with her stress acne and ignored body hair flourishing every where. She has to decide which one has to be gotten ridden off and how. In the end she ends up epilating her upper limbs while waiting for the hair removal cream to do the magic in the some of the areas.

The perks of being a Muslim is you don't need to do legs if you aren't in the mood. Because either way no one is gonna know. She rubs a hand on her thick brown hair on her legs which reminds her the time when she and her dad compared their leg hair.

After becoming almost a naked mole Selena roams around in the house with half sleeve drop shoulder T shirt with dripping wet hair from the shower and her favorite black trousers. Amelia is sitting with her phone. The freshness of freedom from A levels is gone. Now all everyone thinks about her is an idle errand girl who needs a job. No one cuts her a slack and she has made enough fuss about it to wound Selena's ears.

What Amelia doing right now is waiting for the acceptance letter to arrive from University of Roehampton for Biomedical Science so she can finally uncuff herself from the stuffing shackles of this household. While University of Sharjah is still waiting for her to accept their offer letter for the same course.

Saad on the other hand is sitting in the bed all comfy with his green floral blanket enjoy the nth action movie of the week. The kick of his leg and a squeal makes Selena rush to their room anticipating he had fallen off the bed. But when she sees Saad chewing his lower lip intensely staring at the scene she walks upto him to whack his head. Unflinching he continues staring at the screen.

Finally when Selena has had her glow up into a champagne color ruffled layer Abaya with matching fur heels, she sashays through the building's lobby with her mobile in her hand. She can't take a metro or bus. And taxi? Well it will cost her as much as a good Dazy T shirt from Shein.

At the party everything is organized formally for the professors to attend. The speeches, the skits, the mini games and later on food. Selena almost didn't recognize Yelin in her white frill Abaya and silver lacy heels. Her silver and white eyeliner complementing her look. The grey lens giving her a beautiful ghost look.

"Aww! Look at you! You are champagne of the event!" Yelin envelops Selena in a tight side hug. Both showering each other in their floral perfumes.

"And you are the eternal bride of Medicine!" Selena chuckles as she scans Yelin from top to bottom, "Damn! You look pretty".

"This is the fastest glow up I have ever had in my life". Yelin bashfully looks away. Her eyes are distracted by the balloons and fairy lights decorating the stage.

"Same". They both sit down on the fancy chairs in the front but later on move to the simpler ones in the back as the professors join the party.

After the clock strikes 6 and the professors are gone, the lights in the Round Hall switch off with only fairy lights shining. The chairs and tables are pushed to the back. The speaker blares.

"Are you Ready for it?!" Taylor Swift's opening song makes the Swifties among the crowd jump with excitement. And soon everyone is jamming to the music.

The Arabic songs follow the English ones then the Hindi songs injects the excitement in the Desi community. As soon as the Iranian song starts playing Yelin who have been quietly standing on the side rushes to the center dragging Selena with her.

Her hands twirl and her hips sway to the beats. Selena's scanning eyes pause for a moment to register Yelin's moves before copying her. But once she starts twirling her hands the swaying of Yelin's hips turn to shake of confidence. And when Selena messes up Yelin's guiding hands show Selena the right way. Maria noticing both of them join in. With a couple of Iraqi girls from first year and soon everyone is vibing to the song.

Breathless and thirsty Yelin and Selena get off the dance floor collapsing into the chairs near by. The music blaring in the background is now becoming a nuisance to Selena. Her throabbing head is begging her to get out of the stuffy loud place before it explodes smearing blood everywhere.

But she doesn't. She sits down with a smile overly stretched. Staring at her mobile screen in the darkness of the hall makes the headache travel places. She looks away knowing if she doesn't stop her eyes might as well pop out of her eye sockets.

The vibration of her phone diverts her attention back to the screen. Unknown caller. She doesn't pick up. Knowing it can't be her mom or dad or Amelia whom she have saved as "Cow".

However when her phone vibrates the second time it is the message from the same number.

Unknown number: Come outside

Selena looks up to see if someone has been pranking her. But she couldn't find a hint of mischief on anyone's face. Just the euphoria of happiness after a hectic month of exams.

Selena: You come in
Unknown number: I can't
Selena: Bye
Unknown number: please?

"There is..." Selena let's her finger hover over the screen before she looks up in Yelin's direction.

"There is this person texting me and they are like they are waiting outside for me?!" the corner of Selena's lips twitch with her eyebrow arched.

"You wanna check and beat them up?"

"Gladly" they both grab their bags to get ready for a good beating.

Their heals tap against the tiled floor of the corridor. Selena's multitasking brain haywires as she asks for the gate number while navigating for the exit. She shuts her eyes close as the warm humid summer air welcomes them into the garden anticipating the condensed water from the air fogging her spectacles. But the realization strikes her a few seconds later when she looses her foot and trips over her dress. She is wearing lens.

The tall palm trees standing sit on the either side looming above them. While the flowers on the flower bed almost dead and dried from the oven baked heat of Dubai.

The bright orange skies of golden hour are almost fading into hues of sweet pink and lilliac.

"Who is disturbing my friend?! You coward! You better show your stupid face!" Yelin pulls the gate open with one hand balling the bottom of her dress in front of her. "Call them." she adjusts her mask on her face.

"Hello?" Selena places the phone between her and Yelin putting the call on speaker.

"Hello..." as soon as she recognizes the voice the red embarrassment covers her face. "Hello..." the shifting shadows diverts Yelin's attention towards the person walking towards them.

Her feet jump into action with her fist flying in the air. Her fist landing into Nooran's cheek bone.

"Nooran! Omgaad!" Selena rushes towards her friend beating up her cousin who defenlessly is taking her blows.

"You creepy asshole."

"Hey! Enough..." Selena tries to stop the blows ending up getting one for herself.

"You are dead!" Yelin huffs.

"ENOUGH! HE IS MY COUSIN."

"WHAT? What?!" as the anger drains out of her and humanity creeps back into her body Yelin wipes the beads of tears. Selena on the other hand is crouched beside Nooran. "COUSIN? WHY THE HELL DID YOU NOT EXCHANGE NUMBERS?!"

"I don't know? We never needed numbers to talk to each other." Selena shrugs helping Nooran up on his feet.

"You better stop being a creep." Yelin points a finger at Nooran but soon spots another guy walking towards them. "Now don't tell me he is- wait..." she pulls onto Selena's arm pulling her away from Nooran.

But Nooran yanks Selena's other hand starting the tug of war, "I MISSED YOU! Why are you friends with ANIMALS?"

"STAWP HOLDING MY HAND, NOORAN!" Selena pushes him away giggling still unaware of the person now just a few footsteps away from them.

"EXACTLY! OR DO YOU HAVE A DEATH Wish? BECAUSE THIS ANIMAL KILLS." Yelin hisses.

"I said ANIMAL not Angel of death!" his slay smile makes Yelin flinch. "Malak ul Maut"

"Then I shall be Malak"

"You are Maut."

"I shall make sure you die."

"I am already dead. What more do you want?!"

"Enough of this. Stop being childish and get in the car. We are leaving." Aariz's voice startles the three of them.

"We are not kids." the two say in unison.

"Aariz!" squirming out of the grasps of Yelin and Nooran Selena skips her way to Aariz. "Let's go, kids." Selena's eyes ogle Aariz's hand in his pockets.

"Stop drooling". A nudge of Yelin's hand pulls Selena out of her fantasy. "Get a room already"

"Aww! Someone is jealous". Nooran pulls his deranged self together.

"Please. I am becoming a doctor! Men would die to marry me!" the batting of Yelin's eyelashes makes Nooran cough in sarcasm.

"Sure..." he roars in laughter."We'll see that when you turn 30".

"We'll see about that". Yelin is walking back into the college when Selena grabs her hand.

"And what if you aren't married by then?" Nooran's wriggling eyebrows question.

"Oh... " Yelin turns around ignoring Selena. "Then I shall gladly marry you, corpse. Though such event will not unfold. I am sure of it". Selena's grip around Yelin tightens.

"Wait, are you guys dropping me?" Yelin asks.

"Yes, our daddy is dropping us off to our homes. But being Malak ul Maut you should rather fly away with wings".

"Shut up. You don't want me flying away with you PRECIOUS soul. Or do you?" Yelin folds her arms as she sits beside Selena in the car in the back while Aariz and Nooran sat in the front.

After dropping the two of them at their places the sun has already kissed the horizon goodbye and the darkness has enveloped the Dubai with no stars shining brighter than the light pollution. But the sparkling red and yellow light if the plane are seeing traveling across the skies. They stop at the mosque near Mamzar Beach to pray Mughrib.

Stepping out of their respective sections of the mosque when their eyes meet smiling beneath the thick black mask the sparkle in his eyes says it all. His settled eyes scan her outfit before resting them back on her face. Her face seems to fill his vision till he is bathed in her jasmine and can almost feel her breathes.

She has walked upto him.

"let's go before they ask us to get married already". Her whisper jumps him off his train of thoughts.

"And you would say yes to that?" his mask brushes against her hijab when he whispers in her ears.

"It's tempting". She replies moving away from him. And moves past him towards the beach.

He turns around pausing momentarily to register what just happened. Was it a yes? Was it a no? Was it a maybe?

She flips back her footsteps still moving away from him. Her smiles when she lower her masks catches him off guard. The butterflies in his stomach urge him to follow her.

"Hey, wait up" he shouts to which Selena giggles.

"Catch me if you can?" knowing he will. With her long dress daring to trip her and fall face flat. She zooms towards the beach moving onto the soft jogging track making it easier to run in heels.

However when she thought she had lost him a hand loops around her waist pulling her into the warmth behind her. The familiarity of the Oud makes her smile when her shoulder crashes into his chest.

"Become my fiance, Selena. " a whisper tickles her ears making her melt in the place. Her fingers dig into the the arm holding her in the place. "All this time I had been a locked diary whose keys had been in your hands". He turns her around holding her fingers to his lips.

"I love you, Selena Asad. I have loved you not knowing what love means but now since I know now I am not letting you go".

A smile spreads across Selena's face with redness in the cheeks. Her pounding heart begging her to kiss him in the sweetness of the reality.

"Aariz Hafeez, you need to ask my dad because I shall marry you in the swirl of these emotions right this moment. I love you a million little times in each second of this life. And..." she moves away from him tormenting both herself and Aariz with the emptiness of the arms. "And if you don't stop with your flirting I might as well kiss you. And I'd rather we don't make a scandal out of our pure intentions".

Aariz laughter echos as he helps Selena out of her heels walking barefoot on the warm grains of sand spiced with the pieces of shells. While the sea waves ripple and lapping over each other trying to establish short lived dominance. When they stop in front of the dark waters reflecting buildings' lights they both look up in the sky. A few clouds that have already rained in Al Ain are standing above them promising them no rain of summer but aren't sure about the winters.

The brush of knuckles against each other's hand spark the light between them. Her heels almost slip out of his hands but he catches them. The eyes that try to avoid the temptation of conversations are replaced by the gentle touch of the little finger establishing a new way of conversation.

My eyes.
Your smiles.
Our skies.
We lie.
In sand.
Kissing ocean.

----

The End.

So guys. Wait. This isn't the end. I have plans but they are somewhere in clouds. So can't promise anything but do stay tuned. (In case I decide to drop a story or more)