SongYeEun2500

-Reviewer Nana-

Mistakes found till 7th chapter::

Caps- POWER NAP

Extension of voice- JUNGSOYAAAA

Punctuation- Wake up!!! ---- no punctuation after jungsoyaaaa yet the narration started with a lowercase letter. Comma used in the narration and dialogues started in capital letters. Random capitalization. Ellipsis

Korean words are used without explaining the meanings of the word beforehand.

Tense- according to the tense being used it should be wait! why did she come so early? while it was wait! why did she came so early.

Punctuation was missing too. More tense mistakes like narrating in past tense and then adding present perfect or simple present words.

Cremation is used unnecessarily when it means the disposal of a dead person's body by burning it to ashes, typically after a funeral ceremony, the meaning was misunderstood or the word was not used properly. crematorium is misunderstood or wrongly used, it's a place where a dead person's body is cremated. spayed is to remove the ovaries and uterus of a female animal, this word again is either misunderstood or not used correctly.

No proper character details. using but twice in a sentence.

Typo- of instead of if, bad instead of bag.

Starting dialogues one after another when it could have been one since it was from the same person. - Hayoon

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Book cover - 8/10

The cover looks good except for the punctuation error. The book title should have been as it was in the title. On the cover "Hey! eomma, hey! appa" sounded like greeting someone and then bluntly saying their name. Besides that, the cover was suitable for the plot theme and title of the story but the meaning or which language you are using should have been given at the start.

Title - 4/10

The title could have been better. First of all, for someone who isn't Korean, it would be difficult to figure out what you mean, when you say "Eomma and Appa." Secondly, the name is neither that eye-catchy nor that intriguing but it is felicitous for the plot and theme. I would suggest something like "Back in Time for Love" or something that indicates the protagonist, time-traveling to fix his' parent's lame love story.

Description - 3/15

The description only consists of dialogues spoken by an anonymous person and a really short descriptive writing, asking about what might happen ahead. It's not enthralling at all. I would suggest you rather describe an intriguing scene or give a precise amount of information on the plot. Besides that, there were random punctuations like "Your Son," extra words added like, "AARGHHH," and all words capitalized like, "I'll EVER EXIST OR NOT!" Instead of capitalizing, you could have just written it and add an action tag.

Storyline - 10/20

There were a lot of things that could have been changed. Like, the start of the story...It should be more interesting to keep the readers hooked on it. The mid of the story got a little boring due to some scenes, but it could be better if you added some kind of a twist... first, when the protagonist decided to time travel and was ready to set up, you could have messed up the time a bit.

Characters - 4/10

The characters had rarely been described and there were only some common developments noticed. Honestly, you could have added more information and scenarios on the main and second leads.

Dialogues Delivery - 9/15

I noticed some errors like starting dialogues one after another when it could have been one since it was from the same person - Hayoon. Then when you used a comma in the narration but the dialogue started in capital letters. Besides that, whilst representing a shouting person, try not to use all capitalized words in the dialogues. Rather, just mention that the person was shouting the specific word/s out.

Grammar & Vocab - 7/20

There were quite a few typos like 'of' instead of 'if', 'bad' instead of 'bag' etc. Then at a time, you used the word 'but' twice in a sentence which broke the flow of reading. Like, mentioned before there were random capitalizations and ellipsis errors. An ellipsis consists of only 3 periods (...).

Tense- According to the tense being used it should be "wait! why did she come so early?" while it was "wait! why did she came so early." The punctuation here at the end was missing too. Then there are mistakes like, narrating in past tense and then adding present perfect or simple present words.

Vocabulary-

Cremation is used unnecessarily when it means the disposal of a dead person's body by burning it to ashes, typically after a funeral ceremony. The meaning was misunderstood or the word was not used properly.

2. Crematorium is misunderstood or wrongly used, it's a place where a dead person's body is cremated.

3. Spayed is to remove the ovaries and uterus of a female animal. This word again is either misunderstood or not used correctly.

Total - 45/100

Weaknesses: Grammar, vocabulary, and character description. You also need to focus on your storyline and work on cliffhangers that can make your story look better and gain the attention of larger clout.

Strengths: I didn't see something that would stand out the most but your editing skills showed on the cover and your creativity could be appreciated here.

Suggestion: I would suggest you read books consisting of advanced grammar and try writing incidents from your daily life as meticulously as possible. It will help you get a sharper mind and a broader knowledge of both aspects. Besides, you could try looking for new words in the dictionary and practice with the help of online apps and websites.

badestbitchhh_

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THC