It's snowing. From her room inside the cabin, it sure is a pretty sight...but baring the chill that comes with it, in the dress she picked out...

"Fuck."

Sophia closes the suite door behind her. "Yeah?" 

Katherine glances over her right shoulder before looking back out the window. Sophia sets the big hat box down on the side table. "It's cold out there, huh?"

"Twenty-two." Sophia looks at Katherine's mother's dress hanging in the garment bag before the bathroom. "It's warmed up since this morning."

This morning...she snuck into Charlie's room in a cabin across the property to have breakfast with him. An assortment of french toast, fruit, meats, eggs. And then they napped.

And then noon rolled around, and everyone found out Charlie and Katherine were cooped up together, so of course they had to break it up. Tradition or whatever. 

So Katherine sat by the big glass window in her cabin and watched the snow fall and the animals emerge from the surrounding woods. 

"You seem calm."

Katherine purses her lips. "I don't feel it. I'm thinking about everything except today. Hell, I'd rather do this than deal with that." She looks down at her cup of coffee with a sigh. 

"Well..." Sophia sits on the plushy couch beside her and pulls the blanket down. "You wanna share?" Katherine gives her a funny look. Sophia chuckles. "C'mon, Kit. You used to tell me everything."

"Not everything," she hums into her coffee cup. 

"No, not everything," Sophia agrees. "It's been a while, too."

"I'm thinking a lot about what comes after," Katherine admits after a while.  "What solutions are available to the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"Dean is going to die in five months."

That's a way to suck the air out of the room.

"I knew it was coming, we all knew it was coming, but...just feels like we wasted a lot of time fighting things that don't matter when it comes to this."

"But you still helped people."

"I spent a couple months with my head in the sand," Katherine mutters. "With Charlie. They helped people."

"Katherine, you can't be mad because you're starting a life without them," Sophia murmurs. "Because after...after, all you have left is Charlie." Sophia clicks her tongue. "Not all, but you know what I mean." Katherine nods a little. "Don't borrow tomorrow's problems, Kit. Today's about something else entirely." Sophia pats her shoulder and sighs. "Everyone's gonna be here soon. Photographer's right downstairs, Jo and Ellen..."

"Yeah, all right," Katherine sighs. "Let's do the damn thing."

Three buttery nipples and fireballs later, the bridal cabin was in full swing. Blaring music, dancing, hair and makeup, the photographer. 

She's only getting married once. Best enjoy it. The more she did, the bigger she smiled, the more she felt like throwing up.

The more she felt like a bride.

Somewhere along the way, Jo started fixing up Katherine's hair. "Did you always have so much?" Jo asked, weilding a frown and a curling iron.

Then Sophia came round front, and it was double time.

"Are you excited?" Jo quietly asks.

"Yes," Katherine quickly answers. "But...I dunno, what if he doesn't want it anymore?"

"You'd be silly to think he'd leave you at the altar," Jo chuckles.

"I think he's more worried about you leaving him," Sophia chimes in.

"Oh, God." Katherine grips the arms of the chair she's sat in. "I'm gonna puke."

"No you won't," Sophia sighs. "Hold still." Katherine pulls away.

"Soph, I love you, but you are not putting that mascara wand anywhere near my face."

Her best friend huffs. "Then you do it." Sophia hands her a tiny compact mirror. "I'm putting the falsies on you, though. I don't trust you with that shit."

The door opens again. "Jesus Christ, what are you guys smoking in here?" Sam.

All the girls scream, "Get out!" 

"I'm the maid of honor!" Sam cries. Katherine roars with laughter as he comes around the corner. 

"You're late," Sophia shouts. 

Sam hauls himself up onto the counter in the bathroom. "Heya."

"Heya," Katherine returns.

"Burning sage?" He asks with a smile. 

Katherine returns in. "There's a lot of bad juju in my mother's wedding dress, so...we're getting it out. Good vibes and all of that." Sam hums, swinging his feet as he watches her. 

"You doin' okay?"

"I'm two shots in and feelin' great, Sam. How's it down at the boys' camp?"

"Charlie's shittin' bricks."

Katherine chuckles. "Yeah?" She starts to curl her eyelashes.

"Dean gave him a couple shots of peanut butter whiskey."

"Jesus Christ," Katherine laughs. "You know, we've got to be functioning the rest of the night."

Sam shrugs. "In a couple hours, no one's gonna give a shit. He knows his vows, he knows your first dance."

"Yeah," she sighs, and stares at herself in the small mirror. "I hardly recognize myself."

"You look great."

"Thanks. It's just...it's a little like paint. Everywhere. I can't rub my face because it's all gonna go everywhere." She frowns a little. "Sophia's gonna put these fake eyelashes on me."

Sam chuckles. "You gonna fly away?"

She laughs with him. "I think I might."

There's an odd numbness that comes with the whole day that exists despite the happiness. A numbness that masks the underlying sadness. What few women who are in this suite with her are wonderful, and they do mean the world to her...but there is nothing, no one, who can replace her own mother. Even if she does wear her dress.

That was a tough decision. Buy a new one or wear the one her mother wore? It was in a storage unit, like half of the shit left over from the house fire that changed her life. Make no mistake, her mother's dress is beautiful, even ahead of the times of when it was made. But who she married when she wore it...everything else that happened after...

There was a lot of sage burned before Katherine even put the thing on.

She opens the door to the bathroom and grins. "Oh, gosh..."

Katherine holds a finger up. "Don't you fuckin' cry," she croaks. "You cry, I cry, and we have to start all the way over."

"I ain't gonna cry," Sophia chuckles, closing the door behind her. "Just wanted to come check on you. Put this bad boy on." She wiggles the long veil in her hands. 

Katherine's mother's dress required no alterations, which was a blessing. Ivory, airy mesh criss-crosses over eyelash lace to form the bodice. The sleeves are made of the same material, fitting off her shoulder and hitting halfway down her forearm. Then it all flows down into several light layers and pools an inch on the floor. Pearl buttons snap in the back. A veil of similar material, trimmed in the same lace, is placed over Katherine's head. 

And she's wearing those knee-high brown leather boots she was wearing when she first danced with Charlie.

"I think it's nice you're going a little country for him," Sophia hums with a smile. 

"He wanted me to wear that damn hat during the ceremony, too," Katherine chuckles, nodding her head to the silver belly in the box. "Had to reign him in a little."

"Well, we're gonna keep it downstairs for the pictures after. Gotta make it quick since it's so damn cold out there."

"Still?"

"Thirty-two isn't exactly beach weather, honey," Sophia says, throwing her robe off, and reaches for her own dress. Deep green satin, v-neck, a plunging back, bell sleeves. It's just Sam and Sophia in the bridal party, so there was no one to compete with. Sam's hair did look especially glossy earlier in the afternoon, though. Sophia looks up with a frown as Katherine sniffs. "No—no, no, you don't get to cry because of how I look! You want to cry, you go look at yourself. Tell me if we need to change something and tell me quick, because we don't have a lot of time."

The mention of time didn't quell Katherine at all, because when she looked at herself in the full-length mirror, it seemed to stand still. She didn't recognize herself at all. She looked too tan, too tall, too...perfect. And she felt far from it. 

Soft, shimmering golden brown shadow makes her eyes seem all the bluer, framed with thick dark lashes and black liner. Pink lipstick makes her mouth seem fuller, cheeks blushed and chiseled...she looks dewey and refreshed. Not at all like she only slept for four hours.

Her bangs are freshly-trimmed, parted, and dried to the sides, blonde hair done in big curls. Half is pulled away from her face into a small bun at the back of her head, and dangling pearl earrings tie it together.

She looks straight out of a bridal magazine. And it makes her uncomfortable.

She wanted this, at one point. Just a few years ago, when she thought she could make this life work with that life. Her conscience says it's a different man, a different time...but she can't help but wonder how their story is going to end. Like her mother's, who she looks so much like, especially in this moment? 

"Well look at you," Bobby breathes.

Katherine looks away from the mirror and smiles, his figure blurred by tears in her eyes. "Hey, Bobby," she croaks. He walks up to her with a grin. "Nice to see your hair," she says, smoothing it down against his head.

"Oh, no." He points to the felt hat he left by the door. "Charlie said I can wear a hat, just...not my hat. So I got another."

"Planning on cowboying, Bobby?" Katherine chuckles. 

"No, darlin, I don't think I am. Too old." He hands her bouquet to her, a bundle of green and red and ivory. 

"Even for a mechanical bull?"

Bobby laughs. "My mechanical bull days are over. I worked on a ranch for a couple years when I was younger."

"You told me plenty," Katherine reminds him. "Any time I misbehaved at your house, you sat me down and told me some story that you somehow managed to tie to my bad behavior."

"And look, you're all the better for it." Bobby smiles. "You look beautiful, Katherine."

"Thanks, Bobby."

"If you cry, Sophia's gonna kill both of us. Let's get on with this, yeah?"

"Yeah." Katherine sniffs and glances to the ceiling. She doesn't know why. "Yeah, let's do this."

"Sophia's quite the force," Bobby hums, grabbing his hat, and opens the door. "Can see a lot of you in her."

"Well, Bobby, we did live together for a long time. Just so you know, she undid a lot of your housetraining on me."

He laughs, staring across the foyer with her. "I don't doubt it." Bobby glances to her. "You sure you're ready for this?"

Katherine nods and smiles. "Yeah. I think everyone's expecting me to be something different, but...this is all I've ever been with Charlie."

"It's a nice feeling, isn't it?" Bobby asks. "Serenity."

Her smile widens. "It's the best."

He sighs, holding his arm out to her. "All right, kid. Let's do the damn thing."

"Let's do the damn thing," she agrees. "You seen Charlie?"

"Yeah. He was pretty worked up eariler, but...Dean and Chris plied him with drink, and he's about how you are now. A little more twinkly in the eye, but...I think that's the whiskey." Katherine laughs. 

The outside air is a welcome chill on her red-hot cheeks. There isn't a wind, thank god. 

A swell of sweet music hits her ears, and tears start in her throat. 

"I didn't know what Charlie was going to pick," she whispers. It's all piano. Here Comes the Sun.

And there he is, all the way over there underneath a snow-covered oak, flashing her that huge, thousand-watt smile. He's in a steel blue suit that matches the blue in the details. A gray vest, ivory button-down, his light gray Stetson. 

"Oh, God, don't let me fall."

Bobby grips her arm a little tighter. "I won't."

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to God."

Bobby clears his throat. "Right."

For a moment, she forgets about what's at the end of her path, both literally and figuratively. There's no impending doom, or a nervous soon-to-be husband. There are beautiful floral arrangements and the smell of the woods.

She didn't care about everyone else here...Just the sun breaking through the gray sky, shining down on the snow, a chill on her skin, and the warmth of Charlie's smile. 

This is what today is about.

He looks so beautiful. So tall and happy, so warm and wonderful. Hers.

Maybe marriage didn't have to be so bad. 

She and Bobby stop just short of him and the officiant, Charlie's sister Phoebe. Charlie smells like cinnamon.

"You hidin' fireball on you?" Katherine quietly asks.

Charlie grins. "Chris spilled some on my pants," he sheepishly admits. "We got a little crazy." He looks over her with an even wider smile. "You look so beautiful." Her eyes match the shade of blue the sky is. His mind is turned into so much of a pretzel that he doesn't even know what she smells like, but he knows she smells good, and he doesn't know what to do or say next, so he asks if she's ready.

He sees the thoughts running circles in her mind, sapphire eyes like windows into the innermost part of her. She looks sad. Afraid. His heart hammers in his chest. 

Fuck.

"Only if you are," she whispers.

Charlie holds his hand out. "C'mon, baby. Let's figure this out." Her lower lip quivers, and she takes his hand, walking up the few steps beside him to Phoebe. When he looks at her again, the indecision, the fear, has disintergrated and made way for confidence and clarity, determination.

Neither of them paid attention to anything Phoebe was saying, and she knew it, too, because when she asked the most important question, Charlie looked caught off guard, and their small audience howled with laughter. Then little Julien tottered up with the rings on a pillow secured to his hand (Sophia used duct tape to keep his little hand on the pillow at all times).

But the "I do" that came from both of them was strong and sure, unwavering in power. 

She is his, and he is hers. Forever, always, until they die. Whatever. And the kiss was nothing but tender happiness and abundant joy, so warm it felt like they could burst. It feels like a happy ending, but it's just the beginning.

It's amazing how people can forget just how big their problems are with one tiny wedding.

They're passed from family member to friend, grip on each other tightening with each further stretch to another guest. Most of them are from Charlie, but Katherine had a few close contacts. Ellen, Jo, one or two classmates from Yale, her former bosses Rick and Nancy, and their families.

"Well," Katherine sighs, leaning into Charlie as they move to take pictures. "I, uh...I got a job offer."

Charlie grins down at her. "You gonna take it?"

"Do I have another choice?"

"You always have a choice," he murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. "Nothing changes, really...except your last name."

Katherine beams up at him. "Do you know how much money that's going to cost to change the name on my license?"

"Keep it," he murmurs, lifting his hat up, and rests his forehead against hers. "But everything from now on...Katherine Taylor."

"You've got yourself a deal," she whispers, and briefly kisses him. "I'm making out like a bandit, but...if you don't want to negotiate your own surrender I can't help you."

He laughs, pulling her into the snowy clearing at the direction of their photographer. Sophia is running towards them with Katherine's hat box, shoes in her other hand to make it there faster. "I think I'm making out like a bandit," he says.

"Oh, yeah?" Katherine scoffs. "You get a wife who will be on the road again in a week. A wife who doesn't live in the normal world, who doesn't fit into it."

"Yeah, but I got her," he murmurs, taking the hat from Sophia, and drops it onto Katherine's head. "That's all I care about."

"God you're such a romantic."

"Someone's gotta be, baby." He tucks the brim of her hat down and grins. 

Charlie said he had a vision for their first dance, and it just had to be to At Last by Etta James. Katherine didn't have any visions for any wedding...so there was no contest. It was easy like breathing, dancing with him. A little sway here, a spin there. Roll right into Land of 1000 Dances to pick up the energy. Everyone can join in. It's fun, it's joyful. It's everything their new lives are supposed to be. 

The reception is held in the neighboring barn, all done up in beautiful, twinkling warm lights. Ivory plates and blue-green napkins, wrapped up in red ribbon. Namecards sit on top of snowy pinecones on small pieces of wood.

"Sophia, I think, needs to ditch the implant industry and go for wedding planning," Sam says during dinner, nudging Katherine with his elbow, who laughs.

"Good luck convincing her of that," she says, tucking her fork into her mouth. "She really did do a good job."

"Where did she source the pinecones?"

"Probably Target," Katherine whispers. "Then she got that window snow, ya know, and painted the top of it."

"Probably a million pinecones in that forest outside," he says with a smile. His eyes are tracking something over Katherine's shoulder, and she turns to look.

Charlie is making his way in front of their guests. 

Ah, shit.

"I'm gonna cry," Katherine sighs, looking to her half-drained glass of apple cider cocktail. 

"Probably," Sam agrees.

She looks at him with watery eyes and a smile. "Thanks for being my maid of honor."

He grins, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Aw, Kat. It was a lot of fun. I got drunk and didn't have to do a damn thing."

"Hey," Charlie says into the microphone. "First, I'd like to thank everyone here for traveling to celebrate with us, for supporting us the way you have. Especially Katherine's super best friend Sophia, who has been wanting this wedding I think longer than I have." Everyone laughs because they know it's true. "So...congratulations, Soph...today's your big day." More laughter. "And...Bobby, I don't know you well, but Katherine had told me a lot about you, and...from what I gather, you're the best man she's had in her life, so thank you for doing what you could to raise her as best as you could. Katherine's mother...her sister, her brothers...they may not be in the room with us, but...they're here, and I want to say thank you to them, too. Mom, Dad, Phoebes...thank you"

"Sam, you know any tricks to keep from crying?"

"No, KD, I don't."

Charlie looks up from his boots at Katherine with a broad smile. "My wife," he says after a moment, and Sam whistles loudly. "I was never a believer in 'love at first sight,' but...I became a believer the night we met. You...arm-wrestled for drinks and kicked ass at pool and danced the boots off everyone in that bar, and you did it all with a smile. I...fell in love that night, but it took a life of its own when I would call you...and you'd tell me to kick rocks...and I'd call you, and you'd tell me to beat it." Charlie's mom Grace squeals with delighted laughter. "She's laughing because I called her absolutely devestated a month into knowing you, and you still hadn't agreed to go on a date with me. And then you did, and...and I got to see everything behind that smile. The compassion you have for the people in your life, the pride you take in your profession...your wild independence, and your smart-assery." Charlie grins. "I learned very quickly that when you're right, you're right, and when I'm right...I'm wrong. That's fine, though." He takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving Katherine's face thoguh everyone's laughter.

"Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me," he says. "And being with you, growing with you..." Charlie trails off, finally glancing away from her. The way his lips press together, Katherine knows he's fighting the tears, too. "I'm glad we get to do it for the rest of our lives. I am...so proud of the person you are already. After everything you've been through, after what you've seen, what you do...to have a heart like yours is something very few people get to see, and I consider myself the luckiest man on earth for you to share it with me. So thank you, Katherine Louise, for picking me every single day." 

Almost everyone spoke during dinner. Everyone had funny stories about one of the two, even Charlie's coworkers, who have recieved their fair share of Katherine Louise tongue-lashings and ass-whoopings. Somehow, someway, they were made for each other in a way that no one understood.

People kept eating and circulating around the barn, dancing as they pleased. Charlie and Katherine, as usual, were the lives of the party. Katherine hitched up her dress and danced the shit out of Copperhead Road. They two-stepped, they waltzed, they did it all. 

Now was the time for proper conversations. Katherine twisted the thin, silver band around her finger as she engaged with the guests. She couldn't stop smiling. Her cheeks and ears felt hot. She knows she's too happy, that something bad is bound to happen soon, but for the moment, she can't find it in her to care. 

What a stark change from the morning. How her thoughts started with Dean, were consumed with Dean, and she hasn't spoken to him all day. She hasn't thought about him since she walked out of the cabin this evening.

Maybe she should go speak to him.

Katherine sighs, grabs another drink, and goes off to find him. Not that it would be hard, in a party of less than fifty. He's sitting with Bobby and Charlie, all of them laughing about something from Katherine's past, no doubt. 

"Dean, you're the only person in this barn I haven't danced with," she says, leaning against Charlie's seat. "Including Julien." Her husband's arm loosely wraps around her hips as he looks at the hunter. "Do I smell?"

Dean laughs. "No, you don't smell. I didn't want to monopolize the bride—you gotta teach me all those dances you were doing out there." He holds his hand out, and after Charlie gives her a pat on the hip, she takes it, and he leads her to the floor. "Truthfully, I didn't want Sophia staring holes into my head."

"She's judgy, that one," Katherine sighs.

"You're still holding onto that, huh?"

"Aren't you?" Katherine asks, pulling away to look him in the face. 

He purses his lips. "A little, I guess. Not because...not for your reasons, I think."

Katherine doesn't want him to elaborate on that. But she's so drunk, she finds herself saying, "Dean, a month ago, I was fully in the mindset of making a deal to nullify yours." 

Dean almost loses his step. He stares at her with wild, hard green eyes, his grip tightens on her hand. "Tell me you didn't," he pleads. Whispers. "Katherine—"

"I tried," she sadly admits. "A few months before that, I tried. They wouldn't do a deal with me."

Dean stares at the side of her face, and curiosity wins out. "Why?" He whispers.

Katherine turns her eyes to him, gnawing on the corner of her mouth. Which truth to tell him...the whole, or the half? "I don't know."

Dean glances away from her. "Well I'm glad for it. If you...if you did, I would've killed you myself. I did this, Katherine, all right? I knew what I was agreeing to, and I did it anyway, and I'd do it a thousand times over." Charlie is staring at the two. Their body language isn't right. It's rigid, it's...cold. 

They're arguing, and part of him wants to step in. A good part. Maybe it's the alcohol from the day...but he won't embarass her. So he looks away and immerses himself into a conversation with Sam.

"You can't try again," Dean pleads. "You have Charlie. You have friends, you have family. Your whole life, Katherine." He swallows and grits his teeth. "I need you to promise me something, and...and this will be the last thing I ever make you promise."

"Dean." She's holding back tears. "Dean...don't make me, please."

"I need you to shake hunting for good after I'm gone." He stares hard at the wall as they move in a continuous slow circle. "And I need you to drag Sam by the hair back to Florida with you, all right? I need you two to stay together...out of it. I...I need you both to do whatever you want in life, far away from this. I need to know you guys are going to be happy."

Katherine rests her cheek against his, warm wetness sliding between their skin. 

"Don't cry," Dean whispers. "Why are you crying?"

"You didn't even try to fight it," she replies. "You made your deal and you laid down. I ain't laying down until all of those sorry sons of bitches are gone." Katherine sniffs, pressing into him harder. "Make me promise something else, Dean, because you aren't getting that one." 

Charlie was waiting for her with a smile after another dance with Dean. He pulls her into his embrace with a sigh. 

"I have to keep telling myself we've got a whole life of dancing so I don't go up there and take you from everyone else," he says into her hair. Katherine manages a laugh. "Everything okay? Looked pretty tense."

"Everything's fine," she murmurs, and kisses his cheek. 

At some point, everyone was dancing, and somehow, Charlie and Katherine were in the middle of all of it. Katherine tossed her bouquet right into Sophia's hands. Chris about fainted. Cutting the cake was a simple enough affair; they're coordinated enough to feed each other a forkful at the same time without stabbing anyone's cheek. 

Katherine smiles against his warm skin. He smells like the whiskey, leather, cinnamon, the woods. Since the beginning of the reception, he's ditched his jacket and the tie, undone the top two buttons of his shirt. "Are you happy?" Katherine murmurs. "Was it everything you ever hoped?"

"And more," Charlie says, pushing her hair from her cheek with a grin. "Are you?"

"Yes." She tightens her arms around his neck and sighs. "But we won't always be this happy with each other."

"I know."

"It's like what you said earlier...picking each other every day..."

"I'll always pick you."

"Me too," Katherine whispers, and holds onto her hat as she kisses him. "So is this who we are now? That disgusting couple with matching hats?"

Charlie laughs. "Yeah. Yeah, that's us."

no one speak to me this is gorg