𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍, dread the unknown

      𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐊𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄, but working on them has left Quinn Devons completely and utterly exhausted. She was one of the first to flock to their tents, crawling under her thin blanket and immediately passing out. She isn't dreaming of anything — her brain is too tired after listening to Sam and Raven spew out commands and information she just didn't understand. It was harder to listen to Sam than it was Raven, Sam being more vague while Raven was willing to give her a little more of an explanation.

      She likes Raven. In the few moments she's spoken to her, she's enjoyed her company. She thinks she's cool, but she won't tell anyone that. She might tell Makayla, or Octavia, but she's not sure. She's not sure about a lot of things anymore.

      Her sleep was peaceful, her body being rolled over where her back is facing the ceiling of the tent and her stomach facing the ground, her head almost being off her shitty pillow. She's gotten used to the bad sleeping conditions, not complaining about feeling the ground under her as she sleeps like she used to when they first arrived on Earth.

      She starts waking up — not being able to sleep for a few hours straight has become the new normal for her. The longest she thinks she's gone is about three hours before she woke up again, but then she just fell right back asleep. She doesn't particularly enjoy it, but at least she's able to sleep. She's well aware of the fact that there's a few delinquents in the camp who can't sleep at all.

      Hearing the flap of her tent being yanked open, she lifts her tired head up to see a tall figure standing in the entryway. A look of annoyance forms on her face as her vision focusses and she sees Bellamy Blake standing a few feet away from her.

      She lets out a groan and sits up, facing the entryway. "What the hell do you want, Bellamy".

      She takes note of his worried expression, how he doesn't seem like he's about to throw orders at her like he normally does. He's glancing frantically around the tent, searching for something. There's something about the way he's standing — he's not walking with confidence anymore, instead standing as if his world's shattering around him and he can't do anything about it. "Have you seen Octavia?".

      Quinn shakes her head. "She might be off making out with some guy in the woods, it's not like she hasn't done that before".

      "I'm serious, Quinn. Have you seen her?" He snaps back, and she can finally take in the worry that laces his voice, the anxiety that's coursing through his veins. She searches her brain, trying to remember the last time she saw the girl, which was probably the night before when they were getting a few hours of rest.

      Her face pales a little, not liking the fact that Bellamy is on the verge of a mental breakdown and staring at her, as if her words are the reason he either falls over the edge or secures his place on the ground. "No, I haven't".

      She hears a string of curses come out of his mouth as she hurriedly puts on her jacket and shoes. She feels guilty, because she should've known! She should've noticed that she's missing — she doesn't know how long she's been missing for, but if it's enough time for Bellamy to get concerned, it's been too long. She's already felt slightly bad for not talking to her as often, even though they share the same tent. They'll say a few words to each other before going to bed, but ever since the first group went off to Mount Weather, they've essentially gone their separate ways. 

      She doesn't like that. She feels like she owes it to her friendship with the Blake girl to help find her, and that's exactly what she's going to do. So, she follows Bellamy to wherever he's going, which just so happens to be Clarke's tent. And, the blonde girl is already awake.

      "You're up?".

      "Yeah. Knowing that hundreds of people might be dying on the Ark makes it pretty hard to sleep" The blonde says, standing up and getting out of her tent to speak to the two. The brunette stands there, almost awkwardly as Bellamy tries to explain to her that the flares will work. Quinn doesn't think the flares will fail, especially since there were two mechanics leading the project. With her short experiences she's had with the Vickerson boy, he seems smart enough to make the flares successful.

      "Her radio would've worked better" Clarke retorts, and Quinn can't help but agree. Having the radio without having to dig through the river to find it would've helped, giving them instant contact with the Ark, but they didn't have that. The only way they'll know if the flares did work is if they don't see bodies fall from the sky, and she hopes she never has to see that. Those are all innocent people, people who don't deserve to die. And she's sure the Ark would've forced the innocent to be a part of the Culling, not giving them the option.

      Bellamy pauses for a second. "Have you seen Octavia?".

      "No" She pauses "It's Octavia. She's probably off chasing butterflies".

      Quinn shoots Clarke a glare. She doesn't know Bellamy that well, but she's aware of the fact that he never gets this concerned over anything, or anyone. If he's actively showing that he's concerned, then something's definitely wrong. And since he's questioning almost everyone on the whereabouts of his sister, she's definitely not just off somewhere 'Chasing butterflies'.

      "I haven't seen her all day, and I share a tent with her" Quinn adds, staring at Clarke as she talks. She still feels guilty over not keeping up with her relationship with the Blake girl, after sharing a cell for so long. She wants to find her as soon as possible, this ordeal with her being missing essentially being a wake-up call for her.

      "I've checked the camp. She's not here" The man beside her stresses, his nerves creeping into his voice, not being able to control them. Normally, she'd laugh, she'd make fun of him for not holding his crown at its usual height, but now — now she can't bring herself to. The annoyance she normally displays towards him has disappeared, and she thinks it's because of their shared concern over Octavia. 

      Clarke stands there for a second, silent as she thinks. Quinn stands with her arms crossed, almost expecting Clarke to dismiss his concerns like before, but to her surprise, she doesn't. They split up, Clarke checking the tents, Bellamy checking the dropship, and Quinn searching just outside the walls. 

      She's slightly uneasy about going outside of the walls, since she's alone. When she ventured outside of the walls with Sam, that was different. She only felt stressed and nervous when he was hesitating to exit the campgrounds, and she tried to dismiss it as concern over the pod that came hurtling towards the Earth. She doesn't want to be killed by any Grounders, especially when she's just starting to feel safe. 

      Stepping outside of the walls, she glances around to find someone who's on guard. To her satisfaction, she spots Miller not that far from where she's standing, keeping himself slightly hidden from anyone who might be watching from afar. It's been droned into all their heads that those who are on watch must stay hidden, since they don't have any long range weapons. She tried to make a bow and arrow, but her efforts didn't help and her creation ended up not turning out as she had hoped.

      She keeps herself situated right along the wall, hoping that if Octavia's loitering outside of the campgrounds, she's within a good distance so she can see her. She regrets not bringing a torch, but she's sure that the other two in this small search party are flying through their areas, working at a fast pace while she's still glancing around.

      She wonders why she feels so afraid all of the sudden. She wasn't afraid when she would work on creating weapons for the camp to use outside the walls, or behind the dropship where nobody could see her. Maybe it's the fact that the longer the inside of camp is safe, the more dangerous the outside of the walls is. She's never thought of it like that, and now she has to live with the anxiety and fears that she's gained.

      She keeps her pinky finger tracing the wall as she continues to walk, eyes quickly glancing around as she does so. Her nerves are getting the best of her, but she knows she can't back out, because what is Octavia has been closer than any of them thought she was? What if she's been fifty feet away from the camp this entire time?

      "Quinn?".

      Her head snaps up to see Miller staring down at her. His concerned look is intertwined with curiosity, and she assumes he's just curious as to why she's out there all alone. She hasn't been outside the walls alone for a few days, staying inside and going to secluded corners of the camp to make or sharpen weapons. "What are you doing here?".

      "Looking for Octavia. Have you seen her?" She questions, urgency in her voice. The more time that passes where the Blake girl is missing, the more worried Quinn becomes. She doesn't know what she'd do if the girl is never found, knowing that her mind is telling her that she could've been a better friend these past few days. The regret is surging through her veins, and she wishes she could turn back time. She wishes she could snap her fingers and Octavia would appear right in front of her.

      Miller shakes his head. "I haven't for a while. Is something wrong?".

      Quinn bites her tongue. She wants to tell Miller that she's worried sick about her, that she hasn't been seen for hours, but saying those words out loud would just make them true. Her brain isn't letting her get the words out — being frozen in time, making the boy staring down at her question once again if something is wrong.

      She snaps out of it, finally answering him. "Yeah, uh, she's been missing for at least half a day. It's under wraps right now — Bellamy, Clarke, and I are searching the camp, but —".

      "But you think she's out there?".

      She knows exactly what he's referring to when he says 'Out there' — he's talking about the forest surrounding them, where Grounders and other radiation-infused animals lurk in the shadows. She wants to say no, instead say that's she's probably just in a secluded part of the camp. But Bellamy wouldn't be this worried if he hadn't already searched every nook and cranny possible, and her gut's telling her that she's not in the camp, or nearby for that matter.

      She nods, only slightly. "You sure you haven't seen her?".

      "If I had seen her, I would've told you".

      She lets out a huff, leaning against the wall as she stares out into the distance. If she could magically make the girl appear in front of her, she would do that. If she had three wishes and a magic lamp, she'd wish for the girl to be in front of her. She regrets not being a better friend these past few days, the activities of the ground taking up the majority of her time. This is the girl she's spent so long with in a cell, the girl she shared her old secrets and gossip with since the younger of the two was always willing to hear any story she would throw at her — even ones that she had already heard before.

      "If I see her, you'll be the first to know" She hears Miller say, and she looks up and gives him a smile. She appreciates how nice he's being, since those who align themselves with Bellamy have a reputation of being assholes. But words won't make the feeling of dread leave her stomach, or the feeling of regret her mind is inflicting upon her over not speaking to Octavia as much leave her head.

      She takes a deep breath and continues walking, tracing her finger along the wall as she does so. There's nobody else standing on watch for a decent section of the wall, so she continues her walk in silence as she hears the normal commotion of the camp. She doesn't hear anyone questioning where Octavia is, which is both worrisome and relieving, because the small, hopeful part of her is telling her that they found the girl, and just haven't notified her yet.

      But when she reaches another entryway to the camp and she sees Bellamy walking out of it, a look of urgency plastered on his face, the feeling of dread increases tenfold.

      "She's not in there?" She questions, but she already knows the answer to that. The look on Bellamy's face says it all — she's missing, lost somewhere in the woods, most likely running from Grounders. Bellamy doesn't say anything, instead gestures towards the main area of the camp and walks away with a fast pace, leaving the brunette to catch up with him.

      It doesn't take long for a group to form — plenty of delinquents flocked towards the middle at the sound of Bellamy's voice ringing through the camp. Most respect him, listening to the words he speaks as if a command could be said at any second. She stays off to the side, gathering weapons as Bellamy commands the camp to form a search party to go after Octavia. 

      She rushes to her tent, grabbing one of the shitty swords she's made and one of her extra knives before she rushes out, thinking the group that's going after Octavia may have left without her. She doesn't know why she thinks that — after all, she is probably one of the next best people to ask when it comes to anything 'Octavia' after her brother. But the stress, dread, and regret are overflowing her systems, and she's thinking about too many things at once.

      She's not paying attention, fiddling with the weapons in her hand, and rams into someone. She stumbles backwards, sloppily regaining her balance as she realizes that she ran into Sam. She mentally curses herself, wishing she had been looking where she was going before rushing out of her tent.

      "You okay, Quinn?" He asks, head slightly cocked to the side. She forgets that he's actually a decent person, her mind telling her that he's actually a complete asshole, when she knows that's not the case. She doesn't know why she thinks this, always quick to get annoyed by what he says. She thinks it's just because she's so accustomed to people being rude to her, except those who came from lower class families on the Ark like she did. It's how she became friends with Octavia anyway, even though they shared a cell.

      "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine" She says, her eyes darting around the camp to make sure those participating in the search party are still in the camp. She quickly spots Bellamy from where she's standing, figure standing tall with a torch in his hand as he awaits people to be prepared. "Sorry for bumping into you".

      He laughs it off. "No, it's fine. Common mistake".

      She gives him a half-assed smile, not caring that much for their conversation. She sees people she knows will be going on the trip to find Octavia rushing around the camp, gathering weapons and supplies, and it makes her mind think that the group will leave without her.

      "Is Makayla still asleep? I was going to ask if she'd want to come wi—".

      "She's asleep. Her ankle's still fucked up, so this search party for Octavia probably isn't the best thing for her to participate in right now" The boy answers, not letting her finish her sentence. She thinks that his quick-responses where she can't even give a full question before she's interrupted is what gets her annoyed, but it doesn't happen often. But she has bigger problems to worry about rather than how she thinks of Sam.

      She nods along, seeing people out of the corner of her eye gather around Bellamy, getting ready to leave. They're all standing there, waiting for the command to leave, while Quinn's is stuck battling the dread stuck in her mind and the stress coursing through her veins. She's never felt this stressed before, never being given the opportunity to be so stressed that she can't handle her own brain before. Not that she'd want the opportunity to, but she's stuck trying to deal with it now until she gets her answers on Octavia's whereabouts.

      "Guys, come here! Look at that!".

      A delinquent's voice rings throughout the camp, Quinn and Sam sparing a glance at each other before they reach the circle that continues to grow in the center of the camp. Everyone's staring upwards, enchanted by something. One she takes a place towards the center of the circle, she sees what everyone's watching.

      Something's falling into Earth's atmosphere, catching on fire to look like a meteor shower. She knows it's not something like that — Makayla's already described exactly what a meteor shower looks like to her, and what she's seeing just isn't it. It wouldn't be so organized, as if it were man-made if it were a meteor shower.

      And Raven answers her unsaid questions. "They didn't work. They didn't see the flares".

      If Quinn wasn't already pale and stressed, the color would drain from her face. The entire camp had come together, just to create those flares, and they didn't work. Of course, everything would've worked out in a better way if the radio had been in its rightful place in the pod, but fate seems to always be working against them. 

      "A meteor shower tells you that?" She hears Bellamy question, and she forgets how scared she is for Octavia for just one second. The more time she spends around the man, the more tired she gets of his stern attitude and audacity, wishing he would silence himself every time he speaks. What they're watching from the ground is obviously not a meteor shower, and she thought that he would be smart enough to know that.

      "It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral" Clarke stresses, staring up at the sky with an appalled expression on her face. "Hundreds of bodies being returned to the earth from the ark. This is what it looks like from the other side".

      "They didn't get our message" Sam adds, a solemn expression on his face as he glances over at Raven. The two share a glance before an enraged brunette starts rushing towards Bellamy, anger and fury radiating off of her.

      "THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!".

      Finn and Clarke do their best to hold her back, Sam also taking a cautious step forward so she has less of a path towards the Blake man. He snaps back that he helped them find the radio, and Raven doesn't take that well. All the Devons girl can do is stand and watch, see the chaos unfold around her and only pray it ends soon. Her fears for Octavia and the dread she's been feeling are coming back, not staying hidden away because of any distractions.

      "He's aware of the radio, and he has to live with it" She hears Sam guarantee to Raven, which is able to kill the conversation about the culling and the radio, only leaving those who were actively arguing against Bellamy's excuses and calculated responses to essentially stare into his soul. 

      They stand in a stand-off for a few more seconds, Quinn trying her hardest not to show that she's antsy to leave. She grateful once Bellamy tells them once more that they need to find his sister, giving her the perfect opportunity to race out of that camp to find the Blake girl.

      Getting a nod from Bellamy as she moves towards the exit, she tries to shake off her dread and tell herself that it won't take long to find the girl. Because she should be fine, right?

—————————————————————————————

      𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓, remaining in the middle of the group and ready to warn them if she spots something suspicious in the trees. She only picked up this habit from Makayla, and she thinks that if she didn't, she'd be walking recklessly without being aware of her surroundings. She thanks the blonde girl for knocking some sense into her, but she also thinks this has made her more nervous than she should be. She's scared she'll actually spot something hiding in the trees, waiting and waiting to catch one of the delinquents when they aren't paying attention.

      They haven't made any progress since they left, and Quinn swears they've been walking in circles. She's walking next to Jasper, who if you were to catch at the wrong moment, would be shaking uncontrollably because of nerves. She's never sure what to do in that situation, always being frantic to calm him down. She assumes it's from the nerves of being so far outside the wall — she's scared too, even though she wishes she wasn't — so she doesn't blame him for feeling nervous. 

      Words have been exchanged between members of the group, not many being willing to speak up. They've all been too focused on scanning surroundings, watching for any signs of Octavia's presence, or frantically looking around after a twig snaps somewhere and it echoes throughout the forest. She swears you could hear a pin drop at this point, the only sounds being the heavy breathing of the group and the occasional sound from an animal. 

      It's harder to watch the trees now, the darkness of the night blocking her view of what could be hiding in the trees. There have been a few moments where she thought she saw something, but the figure would disappear almost instantly so she shook it off as nothing. In those moments she continues to wish everything were fine, that they aren't outside the camp walls in search of someone who's missing. Sometimes she hopes that if she closes her eyes, everything will go back to normal. It'll wake her up from this bad dream, bring her back to reality.

      She doesn't like feeling nervous. Before this, there were only three times where she felt nervous over anything. The first one was when she got bit by the mystery animal that was lurking in the river, where she got her first big scars from Earth. The wounds have healed, finally, but she can't forget how nervous she felt when it happened.

      The second time was when Jasper got speared. Everyone was nervous though, some more terrified than others, but it was a mutual feeling. It wasn't an individual thing, instead an entire group of people were nervous. Watching that happen was sort of a wakeup call for her, telling her to start being more aware of where she is and who she's around.

      The third time was when Makayla was out in the woods, against her will, stuck with Murphy and the others who supported him. She didn't show it, but she was scared for the girl. She knew that she would have to keep herself calm and collected because nobody else was aware of the fact that she was in danger. One of her only two close friends was missing, so of course she would feel scared! 

      She would say she's not that familiar with being scared. Not that familiar with the emotion, normally being calm and collected. But there's a first time for everything, right? 

      She doesn't think it's a bad thing that she's scared for Octavia, or was nervous in any of those other instances. The only thing she dislikes is that she's in a situation where she is scared, even though this might've been uncontrollable. She doesn't know, and she's unsure, but there's nothing she can do about the fact that Octavia's missing now. All she can attempt to do is stay calm and continue helping Bellamy search for his missing sister.

      Another one of the delinquents, John Mbege, is a little far ahead of them. She doesn't know how he ended up so much further ahead than the rest of them, but she's not complaining. She wouldn't want to be the person at the front, the first person to walk into an unexplored area, the first person to be seen by a Grounder ahead of them.

      She watches him push his way through some bushes, moving the greenery out of the way so he can get through. She's not surprised, because the forest is so overgrown that they've been having to push through plants this entire time, not knowing what plants they're touching or if something bad is on the other side of them. That's another reason why she doesn't want to be at the front of the group.

      "Look! Over here!".

      Mbege's voice comes from the other side of the plants, alerting the group that he's found something. She doubts it's Octavia, but maybe it's a clue to where she is, like a footprint of some sort. She's not sure, but her gut is telling her that it's something useful, just not what she's wanted this entire time.

      Bellamy's the first one there, immediately questioning the male delinquent on what he's found. The rest of the group follows him, knowing that there's most likely no danger on the other side waiting for them, and stares in the same direction the man is. Quinn can't see anything at first — the only light being from the moon and the few torches they've brought with them — but after a few seconds, her eyes finally spot something laying carelessly in the bushes.

      Bellamy commands them to hand him a rope, giving him a decent way to get down without risking his life. The group is quick to hand it over, and she assumes it's not just because the faster they figure out what it is laying around in the bushes, the quicker they find Octavia. She thinks it's also the fear of getting hurt by those hiding behind the shadows, the Grounders that are lurking and watching their every move.

      She doesn't blame them if they truly think that. She's had the small feeling that they're being watched this entire time, and she feels uneasy about it. She doesn't like that the entire group of ten delinquents or so could have hundreds of eyes on them, waiting for the perfect moment to take them all down one by one. She shudders at the thought, but as she watches Bellamy scale down the small hill, she snaps back to reality out of curiosity of what's in the bushes.

      There's a few seconds while he scans the object, leaving the rest of the group to their imagination and questions. He's quick to announce that the object is his sister's, and then tells them all that he's going all the way down.

      Quinn doesn't want to go down there, and zones out for a few seconds before realizing that the boy she's stuck with almost this entire time, Jasper, has left her side. The Jasper that's been terrified of being harmed by the Grounders once more, the Jasper that accidentally found Wells's fingers carelessly placed in the grass outside their camp. That same Jasper is making his way down the hill, nervous expression on his face.

      She mentally curses herself before following him, feeling bad that he's the only one following Bellamy. Jasper's been so dead set on saving Octavia this entire time, she's almost worried that he'll be too focused on the fact that the girl needs saving rather than his own safety. The lack of communication the Devons girl has had with the rest of the rescue party has given her the opportunity to observe, something she hasn't liked doing recently. 

      She often times did that on the Ark, constantly observing others instead of making true friends. And when she made friends, she always felt isolated from them. Maybe that's why her friendship with Makayla is one of the only two that has actually stuck, because she doesn't feel isolated. She feels at home with her, actually thriving instead of building walls and closing herself off from others like she used to.

      Maybe that's why she, like Jasper, is so dead set on saving Octavia. Her mind has weaved the story that she's left the girl to feel isolated, like she was when she roamed free on the Ark. She wants to make it up to her, wanting to save her in an instant so she can apologize for being a 'bad' friend in these past few days.

      She follows Jasper, whisper-hissing at him to stop as he lands on his feet and crouches down next to Bellamy. The man is staring at something on the ground, and once Quinn is able to get next to the boy she decided to follow, she sees what he's been so focused on this entire time. The object he's staring at is a rock, splattered with crimson-red blood. Finn appears at her side, and after a few seconds, there's a silent agreement between the four that it's Octavia's blood.

      "Someone else was here".

      It makes her worried, because her mind instantly goes to the possibility of a Grounder having an altercation with the girl. And her dread and fear only increase when Finn points out that the prints continue to get deeper in front of them, meaning this person that she had an altercation with took her with them. 

      "If they took her, she's alive" Jasper pauses, the girl next to him looking over at the boy to make sure he's alright. "Like when they took me".

      "We'll find her" She says, following it up with a nod. She's not exactly sure who's she's trying to reassure, maybe it's herself, but all she does know is that the knot in her stomach just keeps getting bigger.

      𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 —

i'm really proud of this chapter, and i hope you enjoyed reading it! quinn's my baby and i really enjoyed exploring her mind for over five thousand words, especially with her guilt when it comes to octavia being missing & how she thinks she's been a bad friend for not talking to her 24/7.

i also went into detail about why she is how she is, being all closed off and such, so hopefully it clears some things up

xoxo!

𝟓𝟏𝟔𝟕 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒