time to rate the hades olympian gods bc i've put 30 hours in this game and don't plan on stopping any time soon

i know none of my mutuals play this game but i HAVE to talk about it because it's one of the best games i've played in ages and i feel like everyone should play it. the characters and dialogue and romance and character dynamics/interactions are just >>>>

if you have a switch buy it rn, i'm 30 hours in and have only beaten the run 5 times — i don't think i'm even halfway through the game yet and it was like 20 australian dollars

also you will SIMP because the voice acting in this game, particularly of the women (meg,,, nyx,,, aphrodite,,, MWAH) is so sexyyy,, also just everything is top tier. it exceeded every single one of my expectations

SO here is my rating of the olympians,, i will make one for the chthonic deities and other characters too bc MWAH

— ATHENA    6/10

- she scares me a little

- her boons have the deflect ability which is top-tier

- also able to restore your death defiance which has saved me a lot

- she is so beautiful please

- always very formal which is sweet and also intimidating

- i don't connect with her so much because i don't find her dialogue as fun as the other characters, but she always has my back

- she's a lesbian

- apparently motherly which is super cute

- HER VOICE IS SO DEEP AND SEXY I'D FORGOTTEN

— DIONYSUS    9/10

- i simp

- his voice is SO NICE

- tiddy OUT doesn't give a fuck

- ass peek

- his call ability helped me kill hades once

- JUST LOOK AT HIM

- also subjectively one the best gods

- me (zagreus) and him messed with orpheus by telling him that we were the same god split in two, and orpheus believed us and wrote a song about it

- best prankster 10/10 would prank with him again

- relaxed and flirty which i appreciate

- his boon effects also just give enemies a hangover which is amazing

- he gives you nectar bottles sometimes !!

- BRO LOOK AT THAT THIGH

— POSEIDON    4/10

- he's kinda ripped tho

- i LOVE his boons

- poseidon always shows up, never leaves me hanging

- is lowkey always making fun of someone

- not a fan of poseidon in mythology but he pulls up in this game

- calls zag "little hades" which i honestly find super endearing

— APHRODITE    10/10

- i am absolutely unapologetically in love with her

- everytime she calls me "love" or "little godling" or "dearest" i simp even harder

- she said no clothes no problem

- I LOVE HOW HER HAIR FORMS LITTLE HEARTS AT THE ENDS

- her voice in the game >>>>>>>

- just her pose

- her boons never let me down, my go-to

- if i see an aphrodite chamber i'm instantly heading for it

- maybe it's for the boons maybe it's bc i have a crush on her who knows

- when she interacts with the other gods it's so fun

- poor dear tries so hard to flirt with achilles without realising he's definitely gay

- calls out her relatives

— HERMES    7/10

- speedy boi

- i feel so important when he refers to me as "coz" or "boss" pls

- he talks so fast i love it

- haven't gotten to the parts as to why people ship him and charon but i already love it

- i'm not as go-to with his boons because i prefer those that harm enemies and his are mostly to do with speed and dodging

- but i love seeing him

- his dialogue is so cute

— ZEUS    8/10

- not to praise zeus but 🙄🙄

- he never fails to show up

- his boons are definitely my favourite, i love using his call to defeat hades 'cause he gets so pissed that his brother's kicking his ass

- cheeky hip peek

- zeus was objectively the worst god in greek mythology but he's kind of a chad in this

- HIS BEARD IS CLOUDS

- has a neat booming voice

- again i just really love his boons

— ARTEMIS    6/10

- i feel bad ranking her so low bc she's my favourite greek god

- i LOVE, LOVE her design

- the pelts and the moon cycle on her hair is >>>>>

- HER BOW HAS LITTLE BIRDIES ON IT

- ANTLERS

- but she scares me

- i find her kind of mean i can't take it :(

- she roasts me whenever i'm not using the bow

- lesbian QUEEN

- i appreciate her meanness to zag bc he's a man 😔😔

- i don't connect with her so much but she has some really good boons

- SHE NEVER APPEARS FOR ME

— DEMETER    7/10

- i'm not really a fan of her boons but

- WOMAN HAS A LOOK

- all norse ice queen

- when she tells ares that she's killed more people than him with famine and cold >>>>>>

- she's a rutheless mf after losing persephone

- goddess of the harvest? no bitch she said goddess of eternal winter

- will people attack me if i say she's a gilf

- PLS I LOVE THE CORNUCOPIA IN THE BACKGROUND OF HER PORTRAIT THAT'S FILLED WITH NO HARVEST AND ONLY SNOW

- i do like her mistral dash boon

- i don't know if the green ribbon she's holding belonged to persephone for sure, but i'm assuming it did since it contrasts with the rest of her look and is similar to the one persephone wears

— ARES    4/10

- as a character he's a meh for me

- i don't really have any strong feelings about him

- the rift blade boons he gives you though are so op

- his war paint slaps

- has some good banter

— PERSEPHONE    10/10

- 10 out of 10 best mom

- she just looks like a mortal and ! i love it !!

- she and zagreus :')

- her voice is so soft and she looks so warm,, i love the summery vibe

- can confirm by looking at her design again that the ribbon demeter is holding definitely belonged to persephone

- i love how her home is the one spot in greece that's warm and flowering and safe from the decaying winter

- idk if she and nyx are canon yet 'cause i've only finished my 5th run but i ship them

- the line where zag said she was like achilles,,,, 🥺🥺

next i do the chthonic deities! 🥺

also PLEASE watch the youtube video i linked for clips of the character voices !! the voice acting is so good and when i tell you i'm a SIMP for the voices of most of the women, + dionysus and thanatos,,,

MEG'S VOICE WILL NEVER NOT GET ME