IRL

- in which jimin finds it hard to get close to you in person; sequel to JIMIN_PARK IS TYPING requested by @bangbangtan_57 and @Jibootyexist

Jimin, after months of waiting, is finally sitting across from you, his mere being everything you could've imagined and more.

His gorgeously soft looking locks are tousled charmingly upon his head while his eyes twinkle with youth and sincerity, tiny flecks of honey melting into the warmth of his brown orbs. His pretty lips are plump and the colour of the palest of rose petals, the pair of them looking incredibly enticing as he bites onto his bottom lip. His features are defined prominently, giving the boy a very sharp attractiveness; however, his cheeks remain full, removing any chance of finding him intimidating upon glancing at him for the first time and replacing it within an instant need to keep staring at him.

Which you do considering not a single word has been shared between the two of you since you ordered your meals.

Twirling a strand of hair around your finger, your gaze subconsciously drifts to a couple sitting together in the booth just in front of you, your lips curling into a smile of longing as you watch their hands intertwine over the table. In fact, the whole restaurant appears to be filled with young couples, the atmosphere of the place warm and loving in the most wonderful of ways.

Suddenly feeling rather awkward just staring at them all, you clear your throat and straighten your posture, offering Jimin a look of contentment when he glances at you in slight worry. He returns your look with one of relief, his eyes folding into adorable crescent moons, your heart clenching in your chest at the sight.

Still, no-one says a word, even when the waitress slides two plates of the most delicious looking food onto your table, casting you a look of sympathetic pity before she leaves.

You grumble under your breath as Jimin immediately digs in, keeping his eyes low and attention onto his food, leaving you to ponder on whether this was all some big mistake. Hell, you could get up and leave right now and he probably wouldn't notice until he's finished with his food and has to look up.

You're quick to dismiss those negatively doubtful thoughts floating around in your mind upon spotting the way Jimin's hands have been shaking for the past five minutes and how he's been nibbling on his bottom lip so much that you're sure he's drawn blood.

He's nervous, just as you are.

Fondly shaking your head, you guide a forkful of food into your mouth, chewing slowly before moaning softly at the taste just as another shiver inducing reminder of how awkward it is between the two of you ripples through you. You then sigh in frustration and put your fork to the side, lips jutting out in a pout.

Jimin pauses from his eating at the sound, looking up at you with a quirked eyebrow, your cheeks flushing at the sudden attention. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, not at all," you nervously chuckle, flashing him a sheepish grin as he, too, stops eating completely to stare at you, looking in disbelief of your answer. You roll your eyes. "Okay, fine. You're just a little quieter than I thought you would be."

A rosy red bleeds onto his cheeks as you giggle at the sight, watching as he scratches his head with the sheepishness you had before.

"Sorry," he mumbles, "I'm just really nervous. I don't want to say the wrong thing and scare you off."

"Don't worry," you giggle with a dismissive wave of your hand, flattening down the front of your shirt in hopes of drawing his attention to it to fish out some compliments. Clearly, you spent way too long stressing over your outfit for it to go completely unnoticed. "I'm really nervous too. Anyway, how has your day been so far?"

"Really good," he smiles softly, ignoring the eager look on your face for him to elaborate as he turns the question back onto you.

"Yeah, my day's been pretty good," you sigh, hiding your disappointment with a well executed look of delight. "It actually got a whole lot better when you called and you told me you loved me. I'm pretty sure I cried while getting changed, I was so relieved that you felt the same way."

He laughs heartily, the soft glow of the lights above you highlighting the fondness brightening his eyes, but he doesn't appear to making any move towards telling you how he felt when you told him that you loved him.

You sigh once more.

"We're here," Jimin mutters, snapping you out of your thoughts of disappointment with a light nudge to your shoulder. You smile apologetically at him and get out of the car, finding yourself wishing he would stay despite the awkwardness of your first dat—meeting together.

"Hopefully, we can do this again?" he asks hesitantly, glancing at you from outside the window. You nod happily and assure him with a smile that you'd be more than content with going out with him again.

He breathes a sigh of relief as he waves cutely at you before driving off down the road, leaving you to stand on the side of the street and wonder where the Jimin you spent hours talking to on the phone went.

Huffing, you spin on your heels and march back into your home, pulling your phone out of your pocket along the way to dial Taehyung. It rings a few times as you make it into your room and slam the door shut, collapsing onto your bed with tears stinging your eyes.

"Hey, Y/N," Taehyung chirps just as you press the cool screen of your phone to your flaming cheek, "How was your date with Jimin?"

"He told you," you deadpan, unsurprised by this revelation. Taehyung chuckles on the other end while you run a hand through your styled hair in disappointment.

"Of course, he told me. It was right after he hung up with you," he explains so enthusiastically that you can practically see the smug smirk resting on his face. You roll your eyes, deciding to get to the point instead of focusing on Taehyung's need to brag about his friendship.

"Well, it sucked," you snap a little too harshly, wincing when you hear nothing but dead air and thick silence on the other end.

"Sorry, Tae," you eventually mumble. "It wasn't that bad but I'm just mad that it wasn't how I had hoped it would be and I took it out on you."

"It's okay," he reassures softly, scoffing fondly when he hears you heave a big sigh of relief. "I'm guessing you called me to tell me about the date and get some advice, right?"

"Yeah," you hum, rolling over on your bed to grab a pillow and press it to your chest for comfort.

"Go ahead, then," he laughs, the shuffling on this side of the line suggesting that he's getting himself comfortable because he knows that there's going to be a lot to go through. You can just imagine him stretched out his bed with his arms propped behind his head, his legs crossed over one another and his eyes closed so he can focus on your words.

You snicker quietly to yourself at the thought before clearing your throat in preparation of explaining yourself to Taehyung.

"When he pulled up outside my place, I expected a hug or something but he stayed put in the car, smiling at me while I got in," you mutter, huffing yet again at how disappointing it was. "When we got to the restaurant, I expected him to hold my hand or at least talk to me like he would if we were messaging. He told me he was nervous, and I completely respect that because I was too, but I at least tried to engage with him and I tried to get close to him. I even brought up him saying I love you and all he did was laugh and go back to eating."

"I'm not blaming him for any of this because I still really love him and I still really want to be with him. I just wish he felt comfortable around me enough be able to open up and talk to me like he does when he messages me," you conclude with a sigh, patiently waiting for Taehyung's reply while rushing to swipe the tears off your cheeks.

"I know you probably know this already but this is the first time Jimin has ever felt so strongly about someone," he explains calmly, his soothing voice already easing out your worries. "You need to give him time to figure out what the hell he's doing. Who knows? He could be beat himself up right now over how things turned out."

You frown at the thought, internally chiding yourself for being so self centred.

"I should call him," you state quietly.

"You should call him," Taehyung confirms. "Now."

And with that the line goes dead, your parted lips pursing shut as you waste no time in dialling Jimin's number, standing to pace nervously around the room in hopes of ridding yourself of the tremor you just know is making itself home in your voice.

"Hi," he breathes, halting your movements as your heart skips a beat and your lip stretch out into a smile of fond adoration.

"Hi," you return, barely even aware of how breathless you sound as you take a dazed seat on the edge of your bed. "How are you?"

"Really good," he chuckles, your bottom lip slotting itself in between your teeth as he pauses hesitantly. "Hey, look. I'm terribly sorry about today. I enjoyed your company immensely but I understand that it wasn't as perfect as it could have been."

"I don't need perfection from you," you mutter truthfully, hoping that he's listening carefully to every word that's coming out of your mouth. "We could've eaten from a rusty food truck and I still would've had a great time because I was with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," you giggle, your thoughts drifting off to an image of sitting and looking down at his phone with a stupid grin on his face.

"Well, my classes are all cancelled for next week so if you want, we can hang out sometime then," he offers with hope wrapping its light tone around his honeyed words.

You agree immediately, finding yourself craving more time with him, even if he doesn't say anything. He hangs up the call with a wish for you to call him again later, leaving you to fret over...everything.

You have faith and trust in Jimin, you really do. You know that he meant it when he said that he loved you too but, foolishly so, you didn't take into consideration the fact that the confidence you felt when you were texting him was something he had not had the time to build up before you begged him to go out with you.

And, even though he wasn't ready, he still showed up.

You slap your palm onto your face, realising that this whole thing is as much of your fault as it is his. Looking down onto his contact page now makes your heart swell with gratitude and guilt but, of course, you're going to make this up to him. No, you have to make this up to him.

And if it means waiting for months and months on end for him to open up to you in person, then so fucking be it.

*

"I'm so stupid," Jimin groans in complete frustration, leaning forward from his spot on the couch to press the palms of his hands against his mouth and scream, feeling a lot better after his muffled shout of disappointment comes to an end.

This date was his one chance to impress you and he fucked up big time. Since the first time you had asked him to meet in person, he had been practicing how to talk to you in front of his mirror and even had called Taehyung over for advice on what he should and shouldn't say to you. All that time not only went to waste but it wasn't even enough in the first place for him to be ready to see you.

He tugs at the ends of his now disheveled hair, thinking back to how breathtakingly stunning you looked sitting in front of him with the golden light of the restaurant filtering through your soft hair and kissing your honey skin. His thoughts then drift to how badly he wanted to hug you the minute you stepped out of your front door, how he wanted to embrace your hand with his own and squeeze them tight and even how he wanted to just run his hands through your hair.

But he couldn't bring himself to do or say any of it because of the doubt filled thoughts clouding his mind and forcing him to second guess his every move, leaving him with no other choice but to just stay quiet and watch you from the corner of his eye.

However, there is no doubt shadowing the fact that he loves you with every fibre of his being despite the fear that you'll leave him one day, just like everyone else, throbbing in the back of his mind.

God, he just hates how those thoughts make him feel, how they remind of how worthless he is and how so much of the world would be better without him.

As if his body has realised just how much he's beginning to overthink everything, his throat clogs up with stale air and his eyes begin to well with stinging tears, his lips instinctively parting to gasp out Taehyung's name as he scrambles for his phone.

Surprisingly, even through his trembling, he's able to dial his best friend's number and press the phone up to his ear, begging that Taehyung picks up. Much to his relief, the dialing tone cuts short and Jimin is greeted with Taehyung's mellow voice.

"Taehyung," Jimin chokes out into the phone, clawing at his chest for air, "I n-need you n-now."

"I'll be there in five minutes, Jiminie," Taehyung soothingly reassures, hesitantly hanging up the call to rush over there, leaving Jimin to pull his knees up to his chest and close his eyes while an image of your smile floats into his mind in hopes of it being able to calm him down.

Jimin doesn't know how long he's been waiting for when he hears the door to his apartment slam open, his vision blurred with tears as he looks up to see the figure of his best friend make his way over to the couch and take a seat just next to him, a breath escaping Jimin's mouth at the feel of the couch dipping.

Habitually, he crawls on top of Taehyung's lap and lays his head on the younger's shoulder and places his hand upon his chest to feel the comfort of his usually steady heartbeat, although it appears to be a little bit more rapid today considering how fast Taehyung had run up those flights of stairs just seconds before.

Jimin doesn't mind, he just leans further into Taehyung's embrace and lets the younger circle his arms around his waist and press a kiss to his forehead, like he did when they were kids.

Soon enough, Taehyung's hand finds its way to Jimin's back to start rubbing slow and rhythmic circles, a sigh of relief pushing past his lips as he realises that he's never walked in on Jimin so calm during a panic attack. Usually, the male would be crying and clawing at his throat for air but there are only the remains of tears on his cheeks and the feel of soft yet normal breaths against the skin of Taehyung's neck.

"Did you do it by yourself?" he asks cautiously, his hand mindlessly and slowly travelling up to sift through Jimin's hair.

"Thought of Y/N," Jimin admits quietly, his lips ghosting over Taehyung's neck as he mumbles, "it helped."

"What's got you so worked up, then?" Taehyung questions in concern, frowning when Jimin lifts his head up and just opts to stay seated on Taehyung's lap. Jimin swallows thickly as he begins to play with his fingers, afraid of what Taehyung may think of his stupid reason for slipping into a panic attack.

He squeezes his eyes shut and ignores those terrible thoughts as he begins to explain himself.

"It was, actually, about Y/N. Don't get me wrong or anything, she's as amazing, as kind and as funny in person as she is on the phone and I'm so glad that we told each other how we feel and got to go out because she made me smile and laugh the whole time but I'm...scared."

Taehyung nods sympathetically, urging Jimin on to continue.

"I'm scared that, in no time at all, she'll pack up and leave me like everyone else, almost as if this is all too good to be true. I'm scared to tell her about all the things I love about her and how she just brightens up my world every time she says something because I don't want to chase her away. I'm also terrified of the fact that none of this is what I think it is and my happiness will be stripped from me."

Jimin sucks in a deep breath, relieved to have gotten it all off his chest but also nervous of what Taehyung might say; however, he's surprised to see the younger staring up at him with a gentle smile as he ruffles his hair and holds tighter onto his hand.

"How much of that does Y/N know?"

"None," Jimin answers immediately, shifting uncomfortably on Taehyung's as he continues to stare at him oddly.

"Well," Taehyung starts with a clear of his throat, "how is she supposed to reassure you that you're getting too much into your head if she doesn't know what you're feeling?"

Jimin begins to stutter for an answer but, as per usual, Taehyung beats him to it.

"You need to be honest with her about all of this so she can explain her side of things and clear it all up for the both of you and, as hard as it may seem for you, just trust her and be open with her, she's a good person and I know she loves you very much," Taehyung explains slowly, hoping that this will help Jimin come to his senses a little and urge him to go and give it another shot, this time without his thoughts messing him up.

And, relieving enough, Jimin knows what he has to do.

*

He grips at the steering wheel of his car, knuckles slowly turning white as he debates whether this is all a good idea or not, surprised that he even made it to your place without turning around, but he knows that he has to do this if he wants to get anywhere with you.

Biting back a string of curses, he steps out of his car, ignoring the way the chilly air of the night dances across his skin as he makes his way to the front door, trembling terribly by the time he gets there.

He'll blame it on the cold if you ask.

Jimin raises his hand to knock but pauses just before his knuckles make contact with the wood, his thoughts drifting to whether his unplanned visit will be strange to you or not but, before he can stand there and freak himself out more with this revelation, he knocks.

Fidgeting with his hands, he only looks up when the door swings open, smiling sheepishly when he notices you looking up at him in confusion; however, he does notice the flicker of excitement that jumps across your eyes.

"Jimin?" you mumble with a cautious chuckle. "What are you doing here?"

His lips part to explain himself but he can't seem to think of anything else but holding your body against his in an embrace he's been longing for since seeing you earlier today. Normally, he'd give himself a few hours to think doing something like this over but he has to learn to be a little spontaneous so, despite feeling his stomach churn with little butterflies, he pulls you against him, circling his arms around your waist and burying his face into your neck, sighing at the faint scent of lily radiating off your skin in lulling waves.

It takes a few moments for you to get over the shock of what just happened but soon enough, you're melting into his embrace as you reach up to hug him tighter, his small gesture of yours bringing a soft smile of content to Jimin's face.

"Can we talk?" he eventually mumbles, reluctantly pulling away from you to observe your reaction, just barely spotting the dull disappointment shadowing the light inside your eyes. Thankfully, you nod with a smile that stitches your lips together with worry as you step to the side and let him in.

By the time you're finished locking up the front door, he's already seated on your couch, patting the small space next to him with a reassuring smile, his mere warmth drawing you to him as if stuck in a trance.

"Is there something wrong?" you ask hesitantly upon taking a seat, looking down at your lap in an apologetic manner.

"No, no," he rushes, chuckling nervously when your gaze of relief flicks back up to meet his own, "I just thought that we'd both appreciate it if I came over and did some explaining to make up for lunch."

"Yeah," you smile in utter bliss, eyes quite possibly glistening with golden flecks of love and adoration for the man sitting before you, "that sounds great."

Jimin pulls the sleeves of his sweater down to cover his hands, dropping his gaze down to the soft white of the carpet to avoid looking you in the eye, meekly clearing his throat as you watch on patiently.

"Aside from Taehyung, I haven't really opened up to anyone before. I guess it's because I'm scared of trusting someone, only to be left behind so I always try my hardest to keep up a wall that stops me from opening up too much but, as I'm sure you've already guessed, talking to you has broken down my wall. Maybe it's your way with words and your kind smile but I just have the urge to sit and talk to you for hours on end."

You notice his voice breaking in between his words, a show of his nervousness, so you gently place your hand on top of his, your heart jumping in your chest when he intertwines your fingers with his.

"I had the perfect opportunity to do it when we went out today but I couldn't bring myself to. My thoughts were just swimming with different versions of our possible future together playing out and, in all of them, you left me after I trusted you with everything and I know that you would never do something like that to me but sometimes my insecurities get the better of me."

He sighs. "Sorry, I'm rambling. My point is that I want this to work between us because I really do love you and I'm sorry if I made you doubt that I did with the way I was acting today. I just really don't want to fuck this up because this is the first time that I've been so confident about loving someone and Taehyung was telling me the other day that this is the most he's seen me smile—"

You stop him with your lips, guiding his head back up so that it's more comfortable for him as you slowly begin to move, fingers tracing the outline of his structured jaw before reaching to settle on the back of his neck as you sigh at the faint taste of strawberry on his lips. He shyly places his hands on your waist, unsure of what to do, but when you lean more into the kiss, eager to kiss him until you're breathless, he allows his hands to ghost across the curves of your middle before reaching up to entangle themselves in your hair.

You pull away just as his back hits the couch, air caught pleasurably in your throat as he blinks in confusion over what just happened, his eyes clouded over in bliss.

"I love you too, Jimin and I won't ever leave you, okay? You don't need to be so scared to talk to me and you don't need to worry about what I think of you or anything like that. I am always going to be here for you," you murmur lovingly, pecking his cheek before climbing off him to sit back in your spot. He follows suit with a nod, scratching the back of his head as you bite onto your lip with flaming cheeks, uncertain of what to say now.

"How about dinner?" he chokes out, sheepishly smirking up at you, "Maybe we can get to talking more?"

You chuckle with a blinding grin, nodding in acceptance of his proposal.