in celebration of my 16th birthday today, i decided to publish another chapter! thank you all so much for constantly supporting me and reminding me of how much you love my work. every single one of you mean the world to me and i don't know where i would be without you all making my day and bringing a smile to my face. i love you all so much!! 💜💜💜💜

YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME

- in which you stay beside jin's hospital bed until he wakes up from his coma

Clicking your tongue in annoyance, you guide your hand to the control panel beside you and push the skip button, a smile of satisfaction blooming on your face when a song that has more beat to it starts playing. Returning your hand to the wheel, you hum the tune under your breath, happily allowing your fingers to tap along to the beat.

Nothing could possibly ruin your day and it's odd that you believe that because it usually isn't the first thought to enter your mind while you're driving home from work.

In fact, your day has almost been too good to be true. After bidding Jin goodbye with a lingering peck, you had driven off to work feeling energised. At work, you had received a free lunch, fresh coffee, a chance to pitch some of your ideas to the board and the chance to go home early.

As you dwell on these thoughts a little longer, your stomach begins to twist with a slow dread; the ever so tight feeling in your middle making you gulp worriedly.

Perhaps your day has only been so good to make up for all the bad that's coming your way.

And just as the thought begins to fade from your mind, your phone starts ringing, breath hitching in your throat.

Furrowing your brows together in confusion, you spare the phone that rests on the seat beside yours a quick glance, noticing that the number calling you isn't saved in your contacts. You begin to worry your bottom lip as the ringing of the phone starts to echo in your head.

And when your heart skips a beat at the thought of simply letting it go to voicemail, you pull your car over to the side of the road, palming your phone immediately after killing the engine.

"Hello?" You desperately call into the device, hoping that you picked up in time to answer whoever is making your skin tickle with goosebumps of nervousness and your breath waver with worry and uncertainty.

"Hello," a deep yet feminine voice responds, "Is this Miss. Y/N?"

"Yes," you reply, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as your hands begin to tremble. "May I ask who is calling?"

"My name is Park Hyebin and I work at Severance Hospital," she politely informs you, her tone slowly dropping into one that sounds thick with emotion and empathy. "Your number was the most recent one dialled on Mr. Kim Seokjin's phone. May I know what your relationship with him is?"

Your heart stops, words getting caught in your throat as your eyes burn with tears. Even though she hasn't said anything yet, you can just tell by the way your heart suddenly sinks that whatever they're calling you for is not good.

"I am his girlfriend," you stutter, swiping at the tears that drip onto your cheeks in individual drops, each one feeling like a cold pinprick to your skin. "Is there something wrong?"

"I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but Mr. Kim was in an accident a few hours ago and was rushed to hospital with injuries to his head and legs," she explains solemnly, continuing on hesitantly at the sound of heavy breathing and soft sobs coming from your end. "The staff here did their best to stabilize Mr. Kim but he is still in a critical condition."

"Am I allowed to see him?" You whisper through your tears, clamping a hand over your mouth to reduce the amount of sound your sobbing makes.

"Of course," she whispers back, her voice gentle and lulling as she slowly reminds you to tell the front desk that you're looking for her and she'll take care of everything else before hanging up the call; leaving you in the suffocating space of your car.

You curl into your seat, sending your hands through your hair in disbelief, your fingers tugging at the locks. Your heart hammers in your chest, lungs struggling to swallow down the warm air that dries out your mouth. The knot in your stomach tightens as you envision Jin resting in a hospital bed with wires and machines surrounding him, a choked sob falling from your lips as the paleness of his skin and the way he seems so still suddenly becomes all too real for you.

It takes longer than what you were hoping for but you're eventually able to clamp your hands around the steering wheel without them shaking and take healthy mouthfuls of air without feeling as if your lungs are trying to close in on themselves.

Surprisingly enough, the drive to Severance Hospital is a hazy blur, your body feeling much like a shell as you let yourself out of the car and stare directly the daunting doors of the hospital.

You know very well that the minute you step in there, you'll be faced with the sight of something that you prayed wasn't a reality.

And yet, you start walking towards the doors with no hesitation, clenching your hands into tight fists by your side.

You grip onto the edge of the front desk, eyes stinging with hot tears as you look the lady sitting there directly in the eye, determined to get the answers you need.

"I need to see Park Hyebin, please," you calmly demand, knuckles slowly turning white as your grip hardens nervously. "Tell her that it's Y/N."

Thankfully, the lady simply nods and rushes off to fulfill your request, wisely choosing not to argue with you. A few seconds later and a short lady with the wildest head of curly hair you've ever seen approaches you from behind the desk, her smile as kind as it could possibly be under the circumstances that the two of you are meeting in.

"Lovely to meet you, Miss. Y/N," she gently greets, holding her hand out invitingly. Feeling calmer in her strangely familiar presence, you clasp onto her hand and give it a firm shake, aware of the way your hand begins to tremble in hers.

She doesn't take your reluctance to respond to her greeting negatively and instead gives your hand a sympathetic squeeze before excusing herself briefly so that she can rush around the other side and meet you in front of the hallway adjacent to the desk.

"I'm assuming that you'd like to see Mr. Kim," she sighs warily, her tone indicating that it'd perhaps be best for you to wait before you do walk in but the part of you that dreaded having to see him look so vulnerable now just wants to see him in whatever state he's in as if that will be reassurance enough that it's not as bad as you think it is.

You nod.

Returning your nod with a soft smile, she pushes open the heavy doors that lead to all the rooms and waits for you to enter before allowing them to slam shut, your heart skipping a beat at the sound. Then, you feel something warm wrap around your arm, grip tight enough to be comforting.

You look down at your arm to see a dainty hand curled around it, slowly beginning to rub up and down in a soothing manner. Looking back up, you meet Hyebin's gaze, the concern in them almost heart warming.

"I know how you're feeling right now, Y/N," she sighs, dropping her hand only to loop her arm through yours and continue walking down the hallway, the smell of hand sanitiser burning your nose. "My husband was in the same situation a few years ago and I was terrified. But I had faith that he'd be okay and now, he's better than ever. Keep your faith in Mr. Kim strong, okay?"

"Thank you," you breathe out, flashing her a brief look of gratefulness as she tightens her hold on you in response, too busy looking at the numbers on the doors to formulate a verbal answer.

And in just a matter of seconds, the two of you stop.

Hyebin turns to you with her eyes wide, her arm slipping away from yours so that she can stand in front of you, hands on your shoulders.

"This will be hard to see," she explains calmly despite her behaviour seeming rather jittery. "But remember, it won't be like this forever. He's just in a medically induced coma and will wake up in a matter of days. You just have to be patient."

You furrow your brows at the new information she's just given you on his condition, heart sinking at the fact that you won't be able to talk to and comfort him about what's happened.

No doubt he'd be scared if he were still awake.

"I'm okay," you mutter, biting at your lip when Hyebin nods and twists the door knob to let you in. Shuffling forward, you keep your gaze on the linoleum floor until you can just see the start of the bed.

Then, as if time had slowed itself down, you drag your gaze up until you can see all of Jin, your hand reaching up to cover your mouth.

His skin, once a lovely shade of honey, is now covered in ugly purple and blue bruises and harsh red scratches that trail up his arms and parts of his exposed legs like thorny vines, the bright colours of his injuries noticeable against the unhealthy pale white of his skin.

If it weren't for Hyebin's grip on your arm, you're sure you'd be on the floor in tears.

Instead, she leads you to the seat by his bed, watching you with a tight lipped frown as hot tears spill onto your cheeks endlessly. You notice the white bandage on his head and feel your own start to throb as you choke on your quickening sobs, Hyebin's soothing touch on your back no longer doing much to calm you down.

"I'm going to go get you some water," she explains, giving your back a soft pat before rushing to the door, pausing to turn and give you a look of worry. "I'll be back soon."

You latch onto his cold hand as soon as the door closes, squeezing it tight as the feel of him not returning the gesture creates a little crack in your heart. You bring his unnaturally limp hand to your lips and press a lingering kiss to his knuckles, aware of the way some of your tears hit his skin.

"I won't leave your side until you wake up," you whisper against his knuckles, your eyes fluttering shut accordingly as your sobs die down into aching sniffles, "I promise."

*

You stand outside his door, frowning down at the coffee and breakfast nestled in each of your hands and then at the empty hallway. Sighing, you rest your forehead against the door and turn, attempting to use your elbow to push down the knob far enough so that you can use the rest of your body weight to push it open.

"Let me," a familiar voice chuckles, your eyes drifting up to meet a pair of eyes that glisten with amusement. Hyebin opens the door and holds it for you as you enter, your smile sheepish while doing so. Her gaze falls to Jin for a few seconds before returning to you, her smile faltering ever so slightly.

"Y/N, how long have you been here?"

The question is a fairly simple one to answer. All that's needed is an amount of hours or days and then you're good to go but, you can't even recall when the last time you went home was.

Although you're certain that you did some point in time last week.

"I don't know, to be honest with you," you sigh, reclaiming the seat that you've pretty much lived in these past two weeks. Hyebin nods, allowing herself inside to check on some of Jin's vitals before giving you one last look.

"Make sure you head home tonight," she gently scolds, her eyebrows knitting together. "It's unhealthy for you to stay here for this long."

You nod instinctively, her words flying over your head completely for you know that you won't be leaving until he wakes up. However, getting a good sleep in your comfortable bed does sound a lot more appealing than falling asleep in a plastic chair with the sounds of the beeping machines as your lullaby.

A sigh fall from your lips before you can stop it, your breakfast forgotten about as you reach over to grab onto his hand tiredly, your head resting itself right beside his arm.

"Jin," you mumble, "I don't know if you can hear me but I need you to wake up, baby. It's hell out here without you and I can't stand to see you so lifeless anymore. It's just not...you."

You take a breath that shudders through you.

"I had hoped that if I stayed with you, you would've gotten a little bit better, but you haven't. You're still so cold and so pale. It scares me every time I walk in here because I can no longer remember what you looked like before all of this happened. I can no longer envision you as happy and healthy."

Alive. I can no longer see him alive.

A few tears drop onto your cheeks in response to that thought, you hold on his hand tightening.

"Please wake up soon," you breathe out, leaning over to press a kiss to his hand. "I love you so much."

You repeat that last sentence a few more times, your voice dipping into a whisper as you lift your other hand up to comb through his hair, making sure that your touch is soft.

Eventually, silence takes over the room, your eyes glazing over as you continue to sift your fingers through his soft locks and hold his hand tightly in yours.

And then, you feel the faintest of movements coming from his hand.

Your eyes widen as you sit yourself up and stare directly at your intertwined hands, gasping when you see his fingers twitching ever so slightly. You push yourself to stand and return your hand to his hair, soothingly running your fingers through it.

"C'mon," you whisper, "you can do it, Jin. It's all going to be okay. You'll be fine and—"

Your poor attempts at comfort fall short when his eyes flicker open, his dull orbs lazily dragging themselves over to you. You pull away from his hair and summon a nurse using the button on the wall, never breaking eye contact with him.

Surprisingly, his lips twitch up into a soft smile, his hand finally squeezing onto yours weakly.

"I l-love you t-too," he whispers, chuckling softly when your eyes widen and tears drop onto your cheeks rapidly.