CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

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tw: suicide

          THE OIL LAMP CASCADED THEM INTO A SOFT ORANGE GLOW, SHADOWS OF THEIR MOVEMENTS DANCING ALONG THE YELLOW CHIPPED WALLS. Despite the cracked window, the room was surprisingly warm from the sun that had shone upon the old motel.

They had managed to get far enough away from Kansas City and after two hours of looking behind, they had stumbled upon the abandoned place, hoping to find some shelter for the night. It had one bedroom attached with two single beds where the kids could sleep and a decently sized sofa in the living area, but not enough room to house all five of them.

Joel had opted for the stained carpeted floor as did Henry, giving the piece of torn furniture to Lucia wordlessly. The woman didn't argue with them, sinking down onto the cushions while resting her injured arm on the arm rest with a sigh. Joel sat at her feet with his back against the wall and she wondered if he might be uncomfortable.

"You think they'll be okay?"

Henry was watching the two kids through the open door as Ellie read her comic book to Sam, making grand hand gestures for him to understand. Laughter bubbled from his chest as he leaned against the teen to get a better view of the pages.

"Yeah, I think..." Joel trailed off as he dared a look toward them before cascading his gaze back to his hands. "it's easier when you're a kid anyway." Henry moved his head to the side when the smuggler met his gaze. "You don't have anybody else relying on you. That's the hard part."

"Well," Henry wrapped the paper of the last of their jerky that they had saved and smiled. "I guess we're doing a good job then."

Lucia felt her heart swell at the sight of the children, Ellie making another gesture with her hands and Sam smacked his knee in glee. It had been a very long time since she had seen such genuine happiness, despite all they had been through and a smile found its way toward her lips.

There was still dried blood splatters on her face and she thought it might be because it was so normal to be covered in dirt and grime these days, that being covered in blood meant no one would notice. Reaching up, she scratched at the dried liquid and it crumbled toward the carpet. If only this motel still had working water, she could shower and wash away all the filth.

Joel nodded his head at Henry's words and peered at the comic book between Ellie's hands. "What's that comic book say? 'Endure and Survive'?"

"'Endure and Survive'." muttered Lucia, before she scoffed at the phrase in disbelief. Joel looked up at her at the sound of her voice, she had ben quiet since escaping from the chaos in the city. "That shit's redundant."

"Yeah, it's not great."

Henry let out a breathy laugh in agreement and even Joel's lips twitched upwards slightly. When Lucia didn't meet his gaze, Joel averted his gaze back to the other side of the room. She saw him from the corner of her eyes but she was too tired to acknowledge him. Though, she wished the slight smile on his face stayed.

Lucia adjusted herself on the sofa and kicked off her boots and pulled her legs toward herself.

"Look, I don't know exactly how we're getting to Wyoming." started Joel, deciding the two brothers were more than welcome to join them. He hadn't discussed it with Lucia, he didn't feel like he needed to do that. In the short time they had been forced to spend together, he had gotten to know her tells quite well, and he knew she'd be alright with it. "We're probably walkin'. But, you know, if you want to ..."

"Yeah," nodded Henry, relieved. "Yeah, I think i'd be nice for Sam to have a friend. I'll tell him in the morning. New day, new start. I'll tell them to wrap it up, we should get some sleep."

Henry pushed himself off of the floor and got to his feet, making his way toward the joined bedroom and he leaned in the doorway as he signed to his little brother, telling him that it was time for bed.

"They're good people." commented Lucia, leaning forwards and placing her feet back on the ground and resting her elbows on her knees. It had gotten fuzzy inside and she needed some fresh air before trying to get some sort of sleep for the rest of the night.

"Yeah, they are." he agreed, furrowing his brows when she pulled her boots back on and got to her feet. "Where are you going?"

"Just outside." she uttered, wiping her hands on her jeans. "I won't be gone for long."

"We don't know what's out there." he jutted his chin toward the door. 

"I'll be careful." she shrugged, pushing the door open and stepping into the chilly autumn air. 

It was so quiet that she could hear her own blood rushing through her veins. The woman scratched at her bullet wound absentmindedly and screwed up her face in pain. This night had really taken a toll on her physically.

The door to their room opened again and she watched Joel stroll out, piece of fabric in his left hand. 

"You don't trust me?" she joked.

"After the last few hours, I'd trust you with my life."

Lucia raised her eyebrows and the side of her mouth quirked into a smile. That was not the answer she had been expecting and she still looked at him oddly when he sat down on the bench beside her, taking hold of her left arm without any words.

The smuggler began to unwrap the makeshift bandage on her arm and she let him, eyes not leaving his face as he did so.

The wound was a bit swollen from the strain she had put on it but other than that it looked quite clean, redness a little less than the day before. The crease between his brows worsened as he concentrated on his task. Lucia winched when he began to wrap the clean cloth around her bicep and his eyes met hers for a moment.

"Sorry," he muttered, tying a knot once he was finished and he dropped the bloody one to the ground. "I'll need to change it daily so it doesn't get infected, other than that it looks alright."

"Thank you, Joel." 

Joel only grumbled in response as he averted his gaze away from her and crossed his ankles as he leaned back on the bench. From inside the motel, they could hear Ellie argue with Henry about Sam's bedtime and she huffed out a laugh.

"What a handful, isn't she?" 

"She's a nuisance."

"You like her." mused Lucia as she pulled on of her legs underneath her to get more comfortable. Joel screwed up his face and shook his head, but they both knew that was a lie. Lucia's face turned into a frown as she asked, "Do we even have a plan? We don't have supplies, food or a car. We're in the middle of nowhere. I don't know how we're going to pull this off, Joel."

The man beside her was silent for a moment before he said, "We'll figure it out. We're going to be just fine. It might take us a bit longer but we'll get there."

Lucia wanted to believe him, she really did, but she was slowly losing hope after the last few days.

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THE SUN HAD RISEN ABOVE THE HORIZON WHEN LUCIA FLICKERED HER EYES OPEN, SQUINTING AT THE HARSH MORNING LIGHT. There was a soft breeze coming in through the windows and she pressed her eyes back shut with a groan. The sofa was less comfortable than it looked and her arm dangled at the side.

"Mornin' sunshine." murmured Henry, sitting on the armrest at her feet.

Lucia opened one eye and saw he was re-lacing his boots, tightening them a bit more for their way ahead. The woman threw him a brief smile before rubbing at her eyes and pressing her face into the cushions.

Something brushed against her other hand and she pulled it toward her, seeing Joel still fast asleep on the ground beside the sofa. He had turned over on his other side and had brushed her shoulder with her fingers. 

"Morning." she muttered, pushing herself up into a sitting position. 

"I went through the other rooms," began Henry, throwing half a protein bar her way. "managed to find four of them. Thought we could do with them till tonight."

"Thanks," she nodded, pushing it into her mouth whole when her stomach grumbled loudly. Henry let out a chuckle and shook his head as he continued to work on his laces. 

He was about to say something else when a bloodcurdling scream emitted from the joined bedroom and his words fell silent. Joel sat up straight before either one of them had time to react and the door burst open. Ellie fell through it with Sam on top of her, snarling as he tried to claw at her face.

Lucia and Joel scrambled to their feet as both tried to run toward the teen and infected boy but a gunshot rang through the room, bullet finding home in the ground beside her feet.

"Nope, nope, nope." panicked Henry, pointing his gun at her and Joel.

Ellie was screaming bloody murder, trying to fight the eight year old off, but he was too strong as the fungus grew within his brain.

"Joel!" she screeched desperately, face red and eyes wide. "Lucia!"

Lucia was panicking, too, breath shallow as she watched Henry and the kids at the same time with her hands held up. She would die before she'd reach Ellie. Joel had pushed himself half in front of her, while trying not to set the man off. The fear 

"Henry!" screamed Lucia, hands shaking. "Just let me get her!"

Ellie's screams were so heart wrenching that she didn't really care if she got shot again, and when the man just kept staring at them with his gun pointed in their direction she was ready to risk it all. Little Sam had gotten infected and she had no idea how they hadn't noticed it once they had gotten to safety. 

The bite mark in his legs was visible, as if he had pulled his jeans up to display the wound. It was red and raw, fungus beginning to grow inside his darkened veins.

Another shot rang through the air and both Joel and Lucia flinched, watched as Sam's now lifeless body slid off of the teen and fell limply to the bloodied carpet.

Henry was muttering beside them, eyes blown wide he watched his little brother in absolute horror. His hands were shaking, still pointing the weapon at him after he had fired the shot. Ellie was sobbing loudly, tears staining her reddened cheeks.

"Ellie," it was Joel and she turned away from Sam to look up at him. "Are you okay?"

When the girl didn't reply, Lucia stepped toward her, only to have a gun pointed at her face once more. Henry didn't seem to know what he was doing, distant look on his face as he did so.

"Easy, easy, easy." tried Joel, holding out his arms. "Henry, give me the gun."

"What did I do?" he uttered, gasping for air as if he was choking as he watched the blood seep from his brother's head. "What did I do? What - What did I do? Sam?"

"Henry, give me the gun." repeated Joel, cautiously taking a step toward him and his hand brushed the cold metal for a moment. "Gimme the gun, Henry. Gimme the gun."

Lucia blinked once when a third shot rang through the enclosed space of the room. Joel screamed at Henry and she watched him reach for his arm in slow motion. Henry had brought the weapon toward his temple and pulled the trigger.

"Henry, no!" Joel bellowed. 

Blood splattered on the wall behind him and an inhuman cry came from Ellie as she watched the scene unfold before her.

Cold fingers forcefully pulled her face away from Henry's body not a second later and Ellie stared up in Lucia's tear filled eyes. The woman was saying something but she couldn't hear her and she just watched her mouth move slowly.

Lucia didn't hesitate to pull Ellie into her chest, shielding her further from the two bodies beside them. Ellie was safe, she was unharmed, but she'd had lost her new friend and she clutched onto the woman who was holding her.

"Oh, god." breathed Joel, sliding onto the floor beside them.

i absolutely hated this, i wish i could keep sam and henry alive because i love them SO much.