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✧━━ .·:*¨¨* 𓆩♡𓆪 *¨¨*:·. ━━ ✧

❥ 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 •°. *࿐

Saturday comes in a rush. Jisung feels almost panicked, moving about his home with an anxious trail of thoughts, some of which resulted in a momentary pause, causing him to sift through each thought with delicate attention. He couldn't tell if he was insistently worried about messing up something that was growing to be incredibly important to him, let alone, he did not want to risk losing Minho over what he assumed to be the beginnings of their relationship.

Minho was coming over today, and he was coming over soon. Jisung could barely fathom the fact that they were intentionally hanging out, spending time together, choosing to take the entire day for just them. It was a surreal thought, and Jisung knew that he needed to get a grip. He had a little less than an hour before Minho would be due to arrive, expecting a day to laze about and just enjoy the presence of one another's company. But, Jisung, and his chaotic little mind, was constructed of thoughts that felt too insurmountable to face. It was a weird situation, to be worried over his partner disliking whatever Jisung had set up for them, but then again, can Jisung even call him his. . . partner? What even were they? Sure, they had kissed and held hands, and basically texted all day until Jisung inevitably fell asleep with his phone in his hand, but there had been no official title to their dynamic.

The last thing he'd want to do is assume, to sit and place a label on something that could be flirting or rather testing the waters, and given how Minho typically was, Jisung really did not want to push him away. Thus began his current juncture of behaviors, leading him into straightening the pillows on the couch, cleaning off the tables, laying a blanket down nearby, trying to make sure that all of the possible outcomes would be met with an easy solution. He wanted this day to go smoothly, to make Minho want him. He wasn't sure as to what Minho saw in the future for them, but Jisung wanted his near future spent with him, and possibly his far future, a time where they were adults, free from the confines of neglectful parents and overbearing commitments.

It was comforting to know that Minho was actively seeking to spend more time with him, but at the same time, it was also a bit nerve-wracking. Jisung felt a certain pressure to impress, afraid that he'd be too boring for Minho. In Jisung's eyes, and in the relationships he had watched dissolve over time by being annoyingly observant at school, the last thing he'd ever want to do is cause Minho to lose interest. Jisung knew that people kissed all the time, and to some, kisses were hardly an expression of love and affection. Jisung didn't know what Minho thought of their time together, and more importantly, he didn't want to make assumptions for everything as a whole.

But, as the time ticked quicker, Jisung found himself actively staring at the couch, trying to determine if one blanket was enough, or if he needed to add another. With a sigh of defeat, he strolls back through the corridor, sinking into his room, glancing at the clock settled on his night stand. Minho would be at the apartment in nearly ten minutes, which brought a chill over his spine in an odd mixture of anticipation and nervousness. He was ready to just see Minho, to just be with him and to enjoy his company, but the worry of messing everything up remained at the forefront, clouding over everything else.

Reaching for his phone, he checks his text messages, spotting one from Minho that relayed that he was on his way, but otherwise, no other notifications presented themselves. So, he sits down on his bed, threading a hand through his hair as he sits and he waits, staring at his walls and the floor, trying to occupy his mind. Thoughts came and went, leaving Jisung momentarily stationary, glued to the future possibilities of what the day could hold. Suddenly, his phone buzzes again, earning his gaze towards the screen as a new message pops up.

Minho

Nearly there. Unlock the door for me?

Jisung shoots himself out of the room, heading into the living space, nearly pacing by the front door by the time he hears nearby footsteps. With a breath, Jisung tucks his phone away and opens the front door, looking in the direction of the complex staircase, spotting Minho stepping on the final two steps before moving down the hall. He was wearing a baggy, dark hoodie, his joggers were gray and his hair was styled in an unkempt manner, but Jisung couldn't bring his eyes away from Minho's own. He was smiling, his eyes slightly shining with a new hope within them, something that makes Jisung's heart nearly melt.

"Hi," Jisung breathes out as Minho closes in, looking up at Minho with a slight blush rising to his cheeks.

"Hi," Minho responds with a widening smile. "You look almost amazed to see me."

"It's not that," Jisung admits, taking a few steps backwards to allow Minho into his apartment. "I'm just happy that you're here, and that we can spend time together."

"I know," Minho says, smiling still as he moves to close the front door behind him. "I've been looking forward to this all day yesterday, I really couldn't stop thinking about it."

"Really?" Jisung asks, looking up at Minho with a slight tilt to his head. "You mean that?"

"Of course I mean it," Minho smiles. "Spending time together that isn't for the sake of studying is all I've wished to do."

"You're being awfully sweet," Jisung muses, taking a step backwards, glancing at the couch. "You should come sit with me, and we can watch a really cheesy movie."

"Cheesy?" Minho asks, following Jisung as the younger enters into the living space, settling down comfortably on the small sectional. "What kind of cheesy are we talking about?"

"I don't know," Jisung laughs, watching Minho with an attentive gaze as he settles down, a few inches away from Jisung. "Could be anything, really. Whatever you want it to be."

"Put on whatever sounds interesting," Minho states, gesturing towards the television. "I don't care, I'm not picky. I just want to spend time with you."

"What happened to the cold and hardened Lee Minho?" Jisung pries, smiling as he leans towards the coffee table, grabbing the remote to turn on the television.

"Oh, what? Am I not allowed to be all nice to you?" Minho quips, raising a brow towards Jisung.

"I never said that, I just. . . really like seeing you so. . . soft. It's like you let your guard down around me, and that you're not afraid to be a little vulnerable with me. I'm just grateful, that's all."

Minho simply smiles and says nothing, leaning over slightly so that their shoulders were just barely grazing past one another. It was just enough of a touch to entice Jisung into wondering why Minho wouldn't just touch him, but it was also comforting in a way that he settled into knowing that Minho wanted to be close with him. It was slightly confusing, but Jisung didn't mind it, not even just a little.

As Jisung ponders through the desired application, scrolling past movies and television shows that he couldn't find interest in, he eventually settles on some sort of comedy movie, trying to keep the mood of their afternoon relatively light without anything too heavy to burden their first date of sorts.

As the movie starts, Jisung settles into the couch, tugging the blanket over his lap, messing with his hands beneath the cover of cozy darkness. He was nervous, and every other minute or so, he stole a glance at Minho, just to make sure that the elder was still entranced and satisfied with the movie of choice. Minho made no move to protest, watching enthusiastically, a smile gracing his lips every now and then to show his enthusiasm, which in turn made Jisung's heart begin to melt.

Minho seemed so calm, so attentive, unbothered by every facet of nerves that Jisung was beginning to visibly show. He couldn't hide the slight loss of composure in his unable-to-sit-still hands, keeping his fingers brushing over one another in a wrapt motion, unable to calm himself down. He's never been so nervous about another person in his entire life, yet here Minho was, cool as a cucumber, oblivious and none the wiser. Jisung wanted to hug him, to hold his hand, smack him with a pillow; it was a weird myriad of thoughts that all involved drawing Minho's attention away from the movie and back towards him, to truly discover what this entire thing between them had meant.

Was this just a fling? Were they even flirting? Are they just strictly being friends who kiss sometimes? How does dating even work? Why does Jisung feel warmth on his cheeks? Why. . . does he want to kiss the breath out of Minho's lungs?

It's only then that Jisung realizes that he is staring at Minho's side profile, somehow lost in thought as his eyes scale down the sharp jut of his jaw and the gentle flutter of his eye lashes, taking in the tone of his skin and the subtle abrasions that adorned his skin. He was breathing calmly, every rise and fall of his chest somehow in tandem with the depth of Jisung's own, almost as if their two bodies had been in sync this entire time. Jisung isn't sure how long he had been looking at Minho, but he feels this electric pull towards him, one that bubbles and crackles with definitive snaps, making his heart feel almost haywire. This temptation to just be close with Minho reverberates around the room, echoing in his deepest thoughts and in the light of day, shining with a new found will to just be his. He's never desired a relationship as much as this one, nor has he ever really willed himself to have a partner or friends, for that matter, but now he can't stop entertaining the mere thought of it.

To be with Minho, to hold him in the nights that seemed to terrify him, to soothe the bruises away, to heal the internal scars that plagued him, to simply just be there for him; it was all Jisung wished for.

"Minho–?" Jisung starts, blinking twice before settling back into his seat, watching as Minho pulls his attention away from the television, looking at Jisung.

"Yeah?" He asks, his eyes watching Jisung with a curious glint, almost as if he could see the nerves pouring off of Jisung's aura.

"This might sound dumb, but I–" Jisung cuts himself off, the words falling short, unable to find stable ground to ask the question that he yearned to have an answer for.

"Jisung'ah," Minho says, tilting his head slightly with a half-smile. "You're being so nervous right now. What's up?"

"I–" Jisung sighs, looking down. "Being like this with you. . . I just want to know what it means to you. I don't know what we are. . . but I really don't want this to be. . . temporary."

"It won't be," Minho says, dropping his voice into a much softer, warmer tone. "Everything I've ever said to you, I've meant. I don't take this lightly, Jisung. I. . . want to be with you, but only if you'll have me."

Jisung freezes, if just for a lapse in time, but for once in this world, he feels nearly expressionless.

"I know I'm difficult, and my mood swings can be detrimental, and my home life isn't great to be around all the time. I know I'm negative, and I know that I come with a lot of baggage, but for once. . . I want to seek a lighter path, but I only want to do that with you–" Minho's gaze drops, his hands clasping together on his lap for a moment before they move to his sides, his eyes shining with genuine honesty. "I want to walk through our final time in classes with you, hand in hand, or whatever way you'll have me. Alone isn't the way I wish to live anymore."

"Then don't be alone," Jisung murmurs, looking down, placing his hand down on the couch, nervously planted in the small amount of space between them. "Be. . . with me."

Jisung looks up, catching Minho's sightline almost immediately, feeling the spark that he had felt before suddenly ignite, bursting with a sudden surge of energy that he hadn't felt before. It was electric and alluring, nearly intoxicating and addictive in just the way Minho looked at him. There was something more lingering in the unspoken space dancing between them, radiating aflame with a tender touch, sitting between the what ifs and what nots.

"Is that what you want?" Minho asks, his voice but a whisper.

Jisung nods subtly, his gaze drifting from his hand then back up to Minho's gaze, finding genuine curiosity bestowed within Minho's amber hues.

"Yes," Jisung breathes out in a near-murmur, searching Minho's expression. "I. . . want to be yours."

"You sure?" Minho asks, his lips curling with a slight smile. Jisung leans away, smiling with a rush of redness coating his cheeks, biting into his lower lip, feeding further into Minho's tease.

"Minho'ah–" Jisung drawls, laughing quietly. "You know the answer to that. Of course I do."

"Okay," Minho responds, joining in the laughter. "Then you're mine, without a doubt, because I have always been yours."

Jisung looks up at the utterance of Minho's words, his expression softening incredibly as he looks at Minho, reaching his hand over, brazenly grabbing Minho's hand within his own. Without words, Minho leans towards Jisung, his eyes lulling as a smile curls on the faint edges of his lips, looking down at Jisung slightly before he closes the distance between them. Jisung squeezes Minho's hand, briefly letting go as his hands fly up to cradle the sides of Minho's jaw, thumbs soothing over the male's skin as his lips mirror the smile that had woven its way onto Minho's lips.

"Kiss me," Jisung pleads in a whisper, staying still, allowing Minho into his orbit to feel the warmth and comfort of his presence.

Minho hums huskily, connecting their lips in a soft, tender kiss. Jisung settles into the contact, a soft breath fleeing from his lungs as Minho remains close, kissing and kissing until Jisung nearly feels breathless. It was almost a revelation, a means of acknowledging that they both had needed this, to embrace the things they both desperately sought with just the small bridge of a kiss.

Jisung hadn't realized how much he truly wanted Minho as a part of his life, and now having him, to truly have him; Jisung felt he no longer needed anything else to make him happy. He didn't care about college or the end of classes, nor about what the summer would bring with his overbearing parents. All he cared about was this, right here, to have and to hold Minho for as long as he'd allow.

"We should probably pay attention to the movie," Minho suggests, his teeth sinking into his lower lip.

"Should we?" Jisung asks, leaning away slightly, raising his brows. "Or. . . we could keep doing more of this?"

"Look at you," Minho says with a slight laugh. "So brave all of the sudden. What's gotten into you?"

"Oh, see now you're ruining the moment," Jisung teases, a slight pout sinking over his lips. "We've just gotten together and now you're already refusing to kiss me again?"

"Oh, now I wouldn't go and do that," Minho jokes, rolling his eyes. Minho leans away, turning his gaze towards Jisung with a lilting smile. "You're the only person I've ever grown this fond of, and I rather always think about kissing you. How about that?"

"Then quit leaning away from me," Jisung smiles, reaching over, his hand finding Minho's once more, as he tries to tug him closer, but instead, Minho pulls Jisung over to him, opening his arm to welcome Jisung into his side.

At first, Jisung tenses, but the moment his body contacts Minho's, his body relaxes. It was an unfamiliar comfort, one that Jisung could grow overly fond of. It wasn't anything he could have prepared himself for, but now that he was here, nestling closer and making slight, comfortable adjustments before he allowed himself to rest his head against Minho, now able to hear his heart beat and slow, deepening breaths.

"Comfortable?" Minho asks, his hand moving to draw gentle shapes on Jisung's upper arm, his head turning slightly to gaze at Jisung, though Jisung didn't move to look back.

"Incredibly," Jisung murmurs back, reaching for the end of the blanket to pull it over Minho's lap, offering the warmth of a shared cover in the event that he wanted it. Surprisingly, Minho takes it, pulling the blanket over with a soft smile before turning his attention fully towards the television. Jisung nestled closer, allowing himself to fully lean into Minho's body, seeing that he didn't really mind the contact in general, but also because he seemed to rather enjoy it.

"Minho?" Jisung asks, his eyes watching the screen flicker and move with the scenes to fill the void where a lapse in conversation presents itself. The movie seemed to be reaching its climax, a major turning point of sorts, but Jisung hadn't been properly paying attention since the start.

"Hm?"

"I'm curious about something," Jisung says, his hand moving to play with the edge of the blanket in a soothing manner.

"What about?" Minho asks curiously, keeping his tone light.

"Hyunjin–" Jisung begins, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Does he regret the things that happened with Felix? I mean. . . you don't have to tell me if you know, I just. . . Felix won't tell me really what happened."

"It's a lot, truthfully," Minho says with a tepid breath. "But, to be short. . . he does. Quite a bit, actually."

"Can you tell me what happened?" Jisung asks, but Minho sighs, hesitating with his words.

"I want to, Jisung, but I'm not sure that it's my place. There's a lot of details that express a lot of hurt–" Minho pauses, the movement of his hand halting presently before beginning once again. "What Hyunjin did wasn't out of his own motive. There's so many layers woven into every part of this, and I'd rather you hear it from Felix, or even Hyunjin himself."

"Hyunjin wouldn't talk to me," Jisung says. "He's always around Mingi and Jongho, why would he ever come up to talk to me?"

"Well," Minho pauses again, wetting his lips. "He's seeking a better path. He wants to be better, and from what I could tell, he doesn't seem to like being around Mingi anymore."

"Shocker–"

"Hey, give him the benefit of the doubt," Minho suggests, tapping Jisung's arm lightly with his hand. "He honestly regrets everything. He was just telling me recently that he's afraid that Felix hates him to some degree."

"It's quite the opposite, actually," Jisung interjects, glancing up at Minho for a few moments before focusing on the television once more. "Felix could never hate Hyunjin, at least, that's what it sounds like. Felix misses him a lot, I mean. . . a lot of our late night phone calls consist of how much he misses him."

"Sounds like they're just a bit blind to this then," Minho says, keeping the conversation open-ended. "We should take them to a room and make them talk–"

"We definitely shouldn't do that," Jisung scoffs. "We can't force them to talk and to be open with one another, especially if you say it was a less than amicable ending to their relationship."

"I don't know how any of this works, Ji," Minho says with a subtle whine, rolling his eyes as he leans back slightly, earning a soft chuckle from Jisung in return.

"I know, I know," Jisung affirms. "I'm just teasing you. . . just a little. Being this soft is unusual to you, especially in more recent times."

"I can be soft," Minho protests, frowning slightly.

"I never said you couldn't–" Jisung reassures with a smile, sitting upright just barely, looking at the faux-pouting male, taking in the full expression of his feigned hurt. "Oh, Minho, stop it–!"

"Is it working?" Minho asks, a smile curled on the edge of his lips. "Do the puppy dog eyes work on you, Jisungie?"

"Maybe," Jisung returns right back, following the lead of Minho's teasing tone, waltzing through the conversation with an equal lilt. "I think the tone is working out better in your favor than anything else. Your teasing and sarcasm used to irritate me, and now it makes me feel things."

"Feel things, huh?" Minho sits up readily, biting his lip with a mischievous glint settled in his eyes. "What kind of things?"

"It's almost like you're reminding me of why I like you so much," Jisung quips, acting dignified, turning his gaze away slightly as he feels Minho's eyes drawn to him.

Jisung enjoyed this; this banter and this lightness, the utter ease that came with simply being himself around something who had grown to mean a lot to him. The depth of his feelings had grown to an immense level, possibly steepened by the idea that he felt as if Minho just saw him. In return, Jisung knew that Minho mirrored these sentiments, likely on a thinner, more surfaced level of feeling seen, but it was there nonetheless. Minho was a lot more tender than Jisung could've ever anticipated, but it warmed Jisung's heart knowing that Minho was slowly becoming more and more vulnerable with every growing day. It almost seemed as if with every rise of the sun and descent of the moon that Minho rose with a new confidence, allowing himself to shed a new depressive layer to embrace a beam of light, swallowing the echoes and remnants of something miserable, if only to become lighter in return.

"Mm," Minho hums, reaching over to grab the remote from the coffee table, his finger quickly pressing the select button, pausing the movie. Jisung watches with an attentive gaze, his eyes following Minho's every move before trailing back up to find Minho's hues intently watching him.

"Why'd you pause the movie?" Jisung asks, almost in a tease, but his voice comes out in a mutter, nearly stuck in a haze, lost in the dreamy warmth of Minho's eyes.

"I want to kiss the life out of you, how about that?" Minho suggests, smiling widely, almost with an overbearing confidence, but one that had holes bleeding with affection and adoration.

Jisung leans closer, wrapping a hand around the back of Minho's neck, pulling him closer with a small smile. "Kiss me then, Minho'ah."

Minho seems to waste no time, leaning closer, pressing their lips together with the bleed of a sigh mingling between them. Minho's hand raises to cradle Jisung's jaw, deepening the connection that was melting through each and every press of a kiss. Jisung's hand threads through Minho's hair, keeping their connection close, unwilling to separate from something that seemed so blissful.

Jisung wasn't sure what he had done to draw Minho in like this, to captivate him and claim stake to a relationship that seemed to blossom with each and every passing second. Part of him knew that his mother wouldn't like that he was here, swallowing Minho's breaths and kissing him as if he had been starved and Minho was his only food source, but at this point, he couldn't care. His parents, his life, his responsibilities and expectations meant nothing to him anymore. He just wanted to be with Minho, to enjoy what he had here, right in front of him.

He wasn't sure what his future held, nor what path would become of a time like this, but all he could think about is how entwined his future seemed with where his heart was being led. He thought he wanted to be in the medical field, to follow in the dreams laid out for him with a certain path, well-lit and paved for him with financial support and scholarships, but now, all Jisung wanted was to be wherever Minho wanted to be.

Maybe he was rushing into things, maybe he was acting impulsively or too callous, but he didn't care. For once, he wanted something for himself, and if just for a moment, he wanted to flee from the grasp of his parents to settle into something that aligned with Minho.

The summer came with a bout of unknowns, followed by the pressure of his parents and colleges that he didn't wish to attend. Though, he couldn't be sure. Part of him hoped that his parents would come to accept Minho for who he was, just in the same manner that he had, but his parents were stern and strict, belittling in a quiet fashion that had only been communicated through their expressions. Jisung never wished to disappoint his parents, but at this point, he knew he'd have to choose the moment classes had begun to end.

To choose his parents, to choose the life that his family wanted for him with an assured future of success and wealth. Or, to choose a life that was led by his heart, calmed by the will to love and be loved, settling for a path of unknowns that could be battled, hand in hand with Minho.