A long week in the hospital had passed and it was finally time to go home. Due to Abel's heart defect, they wanted to keep him a little longer just in case. Cleo on the other hand was allowed to go home two days ago but she didn't want to leave Abel alone.

The same evening after their accident Cleo had asked a nurse if it would be okay to share a room with Abel so both of them wouldn't be alone. Since they were on different floors it was a little complicated, yet the nurse managed to make it work, which Cleo was really grateful for.

Jax was there as often as possible, coming in the morning and leaving when visiting hours were over. It was easier for him, too, that both his son and his girlfriend shared a room. This way he didn't have to swap floors all the time.

Thomas stayed with him most of the time but Tara made sure to check on her son regularly. Everyday before Jax left in the morning she made sure to stop by his house, using Thomas as excuse. But inwardly she also wanted to see Jax, see how he was doing.

To her annoyance, he still pushed her away when she tried to fight her way back. He didn't give her a chance and it started to piss her off greatly. Cleo should be dead by now. But apparently Gemma were too stupid to get the job done. Instead, the older woman even hurt Abel and Thomas.

A car stood in the driveway, one she didn't recognize but it stood there since a few days. So, she assumed Jax got them a new car since Cleo's was at TM in the workshop. With a smirk forming on her face, Tara got out of her car and confidently walked over to knock on the door.

It was opened only a second later, which meant Jax was already on his way. He looked so exhausted with a hint of sadness in his eyes. It annoyed the former doctor that he was still grieving the loss of Cleo and his child. It would've never worked anyway. It hadn't even been a real baby by the time she lost it. In her eyes both of them were overdramatic about this. From Margaret, who wasn't suspended anymore, she got all the information on Cleo and how the woman was doing.

Unlike Gemma, Tara felt nothing at all. No guilt, no sympathy. Actually, she was glad this happened. Yes, it wasn't fair that the baby didn't make it but shit happens, right? Gemma on the other hand hated herself for causing that accident and kill her own grandchild.

"Jax, hey", Tara's smirk was quickly replaced by a compassionate smile. "I thought we could have some breakfast together."

The brunette held up a paper bag from the restaurant down the street. "Your favorite."

The blonde wasn't pleased at all. Tara's visits got on his nerve. He wasn't stupid, he knew what she tried to do. It wasn't like him at all but, he wanted nothing more than to slap that fake smile off her face. She was using the death of his unborn child to get back to him. How did he never notice what kind of person Tara really was? He must've been blind and an idiot.

"Tara, just stop coming over all the time", he said harshly, clearly done with her bullshit. "You can pick up the boys on Friday. Before that I don't wanna see you at my house or near my family again, understand?"

Her face dropped at his harsh words and she looked at him with a scowl on her face. "Is that how you say thank you?"

"For what?", Jax scoffed. Now she was pushing his buttons.

"I'm trying to be here for you, Jax! You just lost a child, that's awful. Jesus, I just want you to know that I'm still here for you. It doesn't matter what happened between us", she explained while stretching out her left arm to put her hand on his.

A bitter laugh left his throat, quickly pulling his arm away before she could even touch him. He felt nothing but disgust for the woman he once loved so much.

"I know what you're doing here, Tara. Let me tell you- it won't work", he seethed, closing the gap between them while balancing Thomas on his hip. "Stay away from my family, especially Cleo. Whatever your plan is, better think about it again."

His face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath hit her skin. It was heavy and his tone held such anger that it made her shiver.

"She's not good for you, damn it", Tara hissed through gritted teeth, hitting his chest with her flat hands causing him to slightly stumble backwards. "You think she lost the baby due to the crash? Please, she's a junkie whore. That baby died because of her!"

"Get out, Tara", Jax warned with a murderous look in his eyes and, he wouldn't warn her a second time. She was lucky he was holding Thomas or he would've lashed out already. With those words she went too far.

"You'll remember my words, Jax", the brunette huffed but the murderous look told her to back off. There was no doubt he wouldn't hurt her at the moment, which angered her even more. He was so in love with that bitch that he'd even cross that line and hurt her, a woman, the mother and stepmother of his two boys.

Jax clenched his jaw as he watched Tara storm off to her car. It was a smart choice she made there. He was at a point where he no longer accepted her disrespectful behavior, it didn't matter that she was the mother of one of his boys. If she won't stop provoking, he'd have to do something about it.

⸻

"It feels good to be home", Cleo smiled weakly as they entered the house all together. She took a look around and sighed softly. One more day in the hospital staring at the white walls and she would've gone crazy.

At home she had Jax to talk to, in the hospital was no one when it got dark outside. As soon as Abel was asleep, she started ruminating again. About the accident, the worries about Abel even though the doctors assured her that he was fine. And then their was still their baby they had lost.

She hadn't lost a word about the little one since it happened. It was too painful to talk about it and it wouldn't bring her or him back anyway. So, what's the point of talking if it won't bring her baby back? The brunette suffered in silence as soon as night came and everything around her got quiet. Maybe that was her way to grieve their loss.

"I'm glad you're home, babe. Something was missing with you and Abel gone", Jax told her sincerely, taking the bag from her shoulder that she had refused to let him carry for her.

"I'm not planning on leaving again", she uttered a laugh, trying her best to keep a smile on her face but Jax wasn't stupid, he knew she was suffering.

Abel ran straight to his room and immediately started to play with literally all his toys. He got so bored in the hospital that he couldn't stop talking about the things he'd do once he was back home⸻ and he wasn't joking when he told Cleo and Jax that he'd play with every toy he had as soon as they were home.

After Jax sat Thomas down on the floor the little boy started crawling right away, following his older brother to his room quickly.

"We're gonna find this guy, Cleo, I promise", Jax said once they were alone, a dead serious look on his face. "And I'll make sure he's gonna feel that pain he's put us through."

Cleo scoffed at his words and leaned against the dresser in the hallway, her hands resting on the edges of it. "So I can visit you in jail soon?"

The blonde frowned. "Why should I end up in jail, Cleo?"

"If you hurt him, you have to kill him. And that's always a risk. I know Happy and Tig are excellent burying bodies but what- what if it goes wrong? I've already lost my baby, I'm not going to lose you, too", she blurted out, a pained look in her eyes as they filled with tears, causing her vision to get blurry. "It won't bring our baby back so, what's the point?"

His stomach clenched as he watched how hard she tried to keep the tears inside, how she tried to look strong in front of him. He couldn't blame her though, he had done the same the last seven days. It would take both of them a while to recover from this but, he really wanted her to talk to him. Open up to him.

"Babe", he started with a soft sigh and pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on, taking few steps towards her. He lifted her lowered head when he heard her sniffle and cupped her face in his hands. "I'm not going anywhere but, this has to be done. I know it won't bring our baby back but it'll serve justice. No one should get away with such a thing. He didn't just cause the accident, he also left you and two kids there, not giving a shit about the consequences."

"Yeah, I know, but-", she paused, letting out a shaky breath. Her arms were wrapped around her body tightly, her hands clasping her elbows. "Do you blame me for loosing the baby? I need you to be honest, please", she looked at him pleadingly with her green eyes.

With furrowed brows and confusion written all over his face, he looked down at his Old Lady. "What the hell, Cleo? Why should I blame you for all of this?"

As if Tara would've been in her head, she blamed herself for the loss of their baby. This tortured her since it happened and she'd never felt so guilty and disturbed in her life before.

"What if- what if the pills caused it? That would mean that I-I killed him or her", she choked out, a loud sob following. "Then it should be me who gets punished."

His grip on her face tightened as she tried to look away, practically forcing her to look at him. So many tears streamed down her face, causing the mascara she wore to leave black streaks on her rosy cheeks.

"Cleo, hey!", he said firmly while she almost choked because of her own crying. If he would've known what tortured her since that day, he wouldn't have left her alone for a second. "The doctors assured us more than one time that the accident caused the miscarriage, babe. That bastard that hit your car, caused it to flip and the airbag to hit you and push you back with force, is to blame- no one else."

"But- what if they were wrong?", she cried out. "I swear I didn't know that I was pregnant. If I would've known I would've never touched those pills!"

The baby wasn't planned at all, yet she was heartbroken the moment she found out that she was pregnant. The thought of becoming a mother filled her heart with happiness and joy and now all she felt was pain and heartbreak.

Jax swallowed hard, his face set in resigned sad lines at her little breakdown. Out of all people, she was the last one to blame. Her breakdown wasn't caused by the sadness she felt but through guilt.

Guilt was a horrible, awful feeling that could be much worse than any other emotion a human being was able to feel. Guilt had the power to tear you apart and bring you down.

"They weren't wrong and you know that, Cleo. And even if it would've been the pills, I'd be the one to blame. I told you to take it, you said no at first. I underestimated the addiction, not you. But- it was the crash", he emphasized urgently. The blonde felt his throat closing up as he forced down his tears.

"God, I'm sorry", she sniffled between her words and quickly wiped off the tears, trying to keep the new ones in. "I didn't mean to unload all of this on you. I just- I couldn't hold it in anymore."

The brunette finally locked eyes with him and brought a hand up to his cheek, his beard slightly scratching her palm. At her comforting touch, the slightest smile formed on his lips.

"Don't ever apologize for your feelings, babe", he told her after leaning his forehead against hers. "You needed to get this off your chest. And if you ever don't feel comfortable talking to me, please talk to someone else."

How did she deserve a man like him? Compared to Adrian, Jax was an angel⸻ if you left out the outlaw part. He had treated her with nothing but respect and made sure she had everything she needed.

She blew out a breath and snaked her arms around his waist, nuzzling her face in the crock of his neck. "I love you, Jax, you have no idea how much."

Resting his chin on top of her head, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, still holding her in his arms. "I love you, too. Just as much, darlin'."

They stood like this for a while, giving each other the comfort both of them needed so badly. No matter how long it would take to get over this and learn how to life with it, they'd do it together.