Jeremy and the Squip as Lydia and Betelgeuse?
I think this is the smartest thing I've ever thought of
(Also remember that Micheal can't see any of the Squips)

•••

[Squip]
*mental lightbulb goes off*
You need more guidance.
You need some more help.
Course you do! Course you do!

Jer, it appears to me,
You're getting nowhere, obviously,
So you should get Micheal,
And ditch him!

[Jeremy]
What?

[Squip]
Nothing.
So Jeremy don't hold back,
It's time to attack.
There could be nothing in your way.

Together will dominate, manipulate!-

[Jeremy]
No!

[Squip]
Fine, you twink lightweight.
But you gotta take the upgrade.

We can't go on like this, there is no progress. 
Don't you want Christine to see your hotness?
I swear that I can get you laid,
All you gotta do's take the upgrade.

Jerry what more could you ask for?
We can go all the way and more.
If you wanna explore the world don't be afraid.
Just take the upgrade.

[Jeremy]
Why should I take it?

[Squip]
It'll make you everything you want

[Jeremy]
If I list stuff, can you do it?

[Squip]
Sure whatever gets you off

[Jeremy]
I want

[Squip]
Uh huh

[Jeremy]
To be cool!

[Squip]
of course

[Jeremy]
Wait

[Squip]
What

[Jeremy]
I want

[Squip]
What!

[Jeremy]
Christine

[Squip]
Duh

[Jeremy]
And friends!

[Squip]
Fine!

[Jeremy]
I also want-

[Squip]
Go on

[Jeremy]
Swag?

[Squip]
No

[Jeremy]
Popularity?

[Squip]
That I can do

[Jeremy]
and a cat.

[Squip]
Why?

[Jeremy]
I just want one

[Squip]
Fine. I digress.
All you have to do is give consent three times.
Three times in a row, 
Say upgrade, don't stray

Ready?

[Jeremy]
Sure

[Squip]
Okay go

[Jeremy]
Upgrade?

[Squip]
Yes

[Jeremy]
Upgrade . . .

[Squip]
Mmmm yeeeeeeesssssssssss

[Jeremy]
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
[Squip]
           yes, yes! Finally it's happening!

[Jeremy]
-lthough!

[Squip]
What?!

[Jeremy]
You have good points, you got me far,
But things are going well just as they are.
I don't want to chance it when I'm on par.

Upgrade

[Squip]
Mm!

[Jeremy]
Upgrade!

[Squip]
Mmmmm!

[Jeremy]
Underage kids have been doing fine on their own,
They don't need puppet strings and to be controlled,
Life's not that shit, truth be told.

Okay, upgrade

Upgrade

Understand and spare me the fight!

[Squip]
I can put you in the spotlight

[Jeremy]
I don't know if that'll work

[Squip]
Of course it will.
Trust me Jerry!

[Jeremy]
Maybe not tonight.
I appreciate all that you've done

[Squip]
Then make it up to me, please, handsome.

[Jeremy]
I think I'd rather shut you off

[Squip]
No!

[Jeremy]
I may a loser, dude,
But come on Squip it's not as if I've gone insane!

*speaking*
[Squip]
Wow. Now you back out.
You, Jeremy Heere, are a tease

[Jeremy]
I just know my limits. I know how to play it safe.

*enter Rich and Micheal*

*speaking*
[Rich]
Jeremy!

[Micheal]
Dude are you okay?

[Squip]
Aww if it ithn't wickle Wichie

[Rich]
Oh shit Jeremy listen to me- don't believe anything he says-

*magical sounds as the Squip controls Rich's Squip, therefor controlling Rich*

*singing*
[Rich]
The upgrade made me sexy!
The upgrade gave me worlds!
Now I can put my dick in all the girls!

He'll make you hot,
you'll shoot all your shots.
To become desirable you need someone that's hireable.
I promise you'll get laid!
Upgrade!
Upgrade!
Upgrade!

*Rich snaps out of it*

*speaking*
[Micheal]
Woah what is happening?!
This makes no sense!

[Squip]
There you go Jerry. You'll have everything you want

*singing*
[Jeremy]
What was that?

[Squip]
Just a guy, who agrees that I'm all you need in your life

[Jeremy]
You're all I need?

[Squip]
I'll take you all the way and more.

[Jeremy]
Then Squip, what do I need Micheal for?

[Squip]
yes, yes yeS, yES, YES YES YES YES YES YES EXACTLY!
Ditch him! You got me, I'm all you need!
Just say it with me, and we'll succeed
You won't need him again ever, ever!

*speaking*
[Jeremy]
[ive used this so many times that I don't need to repeat the speech]
Optic nerve blocking, on

*singing*
I don't need that loser.
In this hard choice I have to choose her!
Together we don't have to pretend.
Christine will like me in the end.

Okay now what's the plan?

[Squip]
Correct your portrayal
All we need is Brooke and a betrayal!

[Jeremy]
I'm tired of being the dumb 'whatever'
At last my old ties are severed!
Yeah!
Today's my day!
I'm gonna get the upgrade!

[Squip]
Getting the upgrade!

[Jeremy]
Sick of being played!

[Squip]
No more being played

[Jeremy]
I'm getting the upgrade!
[Squip]
the upgrade!

[Jeremy & Squip]
There's no time to wait!

[Jeremy]
I'm getting the upgrade!