* s i g h * . . . I am sorry. ;-;

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Markus(Connor works too) - Alexander Hamilton

Simon - John Laurens

Josh - Burr (??)

North(Kara works too)- Elizabeth Schuyler-Hamilton

Alice - Philip

Hank - George Washington

RK900 - Jefferson

Gavin - Charles Lee

Kara(North works too)- Angelica Schuyler-Chruch

Leo - Samuel Seabury

Adam - Madison

Rose - & peGGY (??)

Luther - Hercules Mulligan

Ralph - I honestly have no clue I'm sorry. Uhm.. maybe Theodosia Jr.?

Amanda - King George III

Chloe - Maria Reynolds

Kamski - James Reynolds

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Alice: exists

Kara: **Dear Theodosia starts playing**

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I might die for saying this but why is The Story of Tonight such a good song for Markus? It's just.. ugh. I can't explain it. If you haven't listened to it, here. Listen to it right now and tell me it isn't a good song for him.

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Okay but???? My Shot?????? Is also???? Really good????? For Markus??????????

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I have no clue who Ralph would be but someone on Tumblr said he'd be Lafayette so... I GUESS HE'S THE BAGUETTE XDD

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North: what do you love about me?

Markus: everything

North: really though, what do you love about me?

Markus: eeeeeeeeverything

North: no, but really-

Markus: **hits with pillow** BITCH I DUNNO.... YA SMILE?????

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Hank: Son-

Connor: Imnotchason

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Markus: exists

Kara: exists

Connor: exists

Alice: exists

Luther: exists

Ralph:

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Jerry: exists

Literally any character in the D:BH fandom except Amanda, Todd, Leo, Gavin, and that one guy I can't remember: exists

Me: are these my children

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Markus: Welcome to Jericho where we're all children of rA9!

[dirty bomb explodes in Detroit]

Markus: Kumbaya my loooooord-

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Simon: [in idle mode]

North: [shoots gun at ceiling]

Simon: [snaps out of idle mode and falls to the ground]

Simon: THIS IS WHY MARKUS DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU

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Markus: i mAY NOT LIVE TO SEE OUR GLORY-

Simon: oh god why

Markus: **screeching** BUT I WILL GLADLY JOIN THE FIGHT-

Josh: why now why today why ever

Markus: **flips table** AND WHEN OUR non existent CHIIIIIIIILDREN TELL OUR STOOOOORRRYYYYYYY-

Literally everyone in Jericho:
* s i g h *

Markus: **screaming** tHeY'LL tEll tHe StOrY oF ToNiGhT--

North: pls he's been like this for five days

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Markus: Ugh she is so annoying

North: Who?

Markus: Who is this?

North: North

Markus: Hold on sweetie

Markus: [swaps call]

Markus: Ugh she is so annoying

Connor: I know just get rid of her

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North: what'd I miss

Markus: This dick

North: Oh thank god, I thought I missed something big

Simon: officer i would like to report a murder

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Alice: Grandpa Hank, what does 'yeet' mean?

Hank: Alice no

Hank: not you too

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Todd, while high off red ice: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN TIME OUT GET ON THE FRIDGE

Alice, climbing the fridge: THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

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Connor: you are my dad

Connor: YoU'rE mY dAd!!!

Connor: [shows picture of Hank] bOoGiE wOoGiE wOoGiE
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for the love of Jericho what have i become[human]

wAIT NO I CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION I HAVE BECOME A DEVIANT--

I'm sorry ;-;

Sincerely,

Hurt Ralph and I'll fucking kill you