what if i tell you, the main character isn't Crystal but Lara? :)   what'd you do?

Important A/N below, pls do read it! Also don't forget to vote and comment what you feel! It'd really mean a lot and i love when y'all share your feelings. Much lovee x

Chapter isn't proofread, don't mind pointing mistakes. ♡

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~

when we collide
32| fanta and sticks

Zayn stretches a little before his thumb taps on his phone screen aggressively. Zayn wasn't a fan of candy crush whatsoever but well.

Hard times call for hard measures or whatever that saying was.

He shifts a little, pulling the duvet over his head as he slams around candies, the bright colours irritating him. Till now, this birthday was going. . . well okay?

He didn't think he'll spend his birthday night cracking candies but oh well, he didn't think he'll be marrying his best friend either. Best friend who forgot his birthday. He groans a little, shutting off his phone and staring at the ceiling.

Okay, who was he lying, this birthday is shít.

His eyes fly to the clock on the wall and the time strikes two a.m. almost crashing all expectations. No way could some miracle happen now. Zayn stares at his nails before scratching his arm.

He almost feels himself doze off right before the phone rings. Groaning again he stares at the phone screen lighting the room brightly. His eyes glance at the screen, squinting almost immediately when they come in contact.

Lara calling. . .

He squints his eyes again before picking up the phone.
“Hello?”

“Hey Zayn.”
“Are you okay? Is something wrong or what?”

He hears Lara laugh breathlessly. “No Zayn, I'm sorry I'm kinda late but uhm– happy birthday.”
Zayn licks his bottom lip slowly as he sits upright. “You remember?”

“Why won't I?”  she chuckles. “How's it going?”  she asks further. “I hope I'm not interrupting anything.”

“Uh– no, no not really.”  he replies hesitantly. “Oh?”  he figures the shock in her voice.
“Where's Crystal?”

Zayn almost wants to lie, shove in his relationship in her face, let her know he's so happy and shít but well, it's Lara, just. . . Lara. Why'd he do that now? She might have lied time and time but he never did.

He just didn't like lying at all.
“Yeah she's sleeping.”
“Sleeping? Did she forget your birthday?”

“I reckon.”  there's a pause in her tone and she doesn't say anything for a while that Zayn almost removes the phone from his ear and checks the screen to make sure she didn't hang up.

He only hopes she doesn't laugh.

“Oh, uhm—”  she awkwardly tries to say. “Well I'm sure she didn't forget forget your birthday?”  Zayn chuckles at that. What was that even supposed to mean?

“Yeah whatever, I'll just probably sleep. I've work tomorrow.”  he mumbles back, this interaction with Lara acting more like a slap of reality on his face than an innocent birthday wish.
“Hey Zayn.”

“Yes?”
There's a hesitant pause. “C-can we meet?” Zayn furrows his brows. What? Why'd she want to meet him at two fifteen in the middle of the night.

“What? Why?”
“Uh, I don't know, probably make your mood better?”  Zayn hesitantly stares at the wall, the gears in his brain moving in circles. “No Lara, I don't think that's a good idea.”

“But Zayn—”
“No.”  he whispers. “This can fúck shít. I'm taking no chances. Plus, it's not even acceptable.”
“It's just an innocent meet Zayn. It's your birthday and after all I've put you through take this as my apology?”

Zayn sighs a little. “But Lara, Crystal will—”
“Zayn, the park at north street.”
Where they had their first kiss? Oh héll no. “No Lara, not there.”

“Zayn that's the closest place I can think of. Just show up.”
“I don't know. . .”  he replies in an unconvinced tone. “Zayn, just because we have a past doesn't mean we aren't bound to talk. Remember? You said we're friends,”  he hears a sense of familiarity in Lara's voice.

“I'll be waiting, be there in ten okay?”  Zayn sighs. “But Lara—”
“Happy birthday, Zee.”   and she hangs up. Zayn hesitantly brings the phone down from his ear. How does he manage to put himself in these situations?

Was this okay? Won't Crystal feel offended? He sighs. Maybe he could sneak out for a second. It was purely innocent. Atleast, that's what she said. Okay no, get your guard up. Breathing in slowly, he throws the duvet away, slipping in a pair of sweats and throwing a tight black tee on. He grabs his coat and throws a beanie on.

Stretching a little again, he washes his face to look slightly lively and then rounds a muffler around his neck. Tiptoeing to the room, he glances inside. Indeed, Crystal was fast asleep. Taking a deep breath he descends the stairs, knowing very well which stair creaks.

Opening the door he closes it and locks it shut and then rounds the house to make sure all the windows and back doors are closed so no one can enter. He rushes down his porche, making sure no one was out, which was very unlikely anyway. Closing the main gate behind him, he enters his car quickly and pulls up on the road quickly.

The radio plays some old low quality song as he passes lanes. Fifteen minutes down and he parks near the park and looks around. He locks the car behind him, circling his arms around him to give some body heat as the fog moves out of his mouth every time he breathes. Once he's sure he spots no one, he calls Lara.

She picks up on the third ring.
“Hey.”

“Where are you?”  he whispers slowly, feeling his body jitter in the cold. “At the bench.”
“Our bench?”  Zayn asks slowly.
“Yes, can you make it quick, it's kinda creepy here.”

“Okay, yeah.”  hanging up, Zayn walks inside, the trees following a colder environment in the park. The wet grass squishes under his shoes as he stares at the empty park. Jeez, if something pops out he'll sue.
He touches his neck unintentionally, feeling the small cut.

Oh, god.

He spots Lara a second later sitting on their bench near the bridge over the pond. She looks up once she hears the grass squishing and passes a small smile, her cheeks tint pink due to the cold.

“Hey, birthday boy.”  Zayn rolls his eyes, before passing a smile.
“What's up?”

Lara shrugs before patting the seat beside her and Zayn's quick to sit down without hesitance this time. They stare at the pond water flowing slowly, Zayn is almost shocked as to why it wasn't ice cold till now.

“I got you something. It's dumb, I've no idea why I'm doing this.”  she utters, making him turn and look. He stares at the respectful distance they're seated at and smiles comfortably.

Lara searches through the packet she's carrying before taking out a can of fanta. She jumps up from the bench and walks to a tree, taking a huge leap and breaking a branch from the tree.

“You know you shouldn't touch trees at night? They're sleeping and have ghosts loitering around.”  Lara stills, slowly turning around to look at Zayn who passes her a serious face. She runs away almost immediately, staring at the tree wide eyed that it becomes almost impossible for Zayn to not laugh.

“Was that a joke or was it true?”  she cries, making Zayn chuckle.
“Honestly, no idea.”  Zayn stares at her as she shakes her head before sitting beside him.
“This is for you.”  she says, passing him the stick and the can of fanta. Zayn awkwardly stares at it. “Uh?”

“Fanta and a stick for you because. . . you're fantastic.”
Zayn closes his eyes briefly, pressing his lips together to stop the amusing face cross his face.

“Lara.”  he breathlessly laughs.
“I'm sorry, I-I just wanted to make you feel better I—”
“Hey.”  he smiles. “It's okay.”  he stares at the can and glances up again. “Thank you.”  he opens the can, a whisp sound coming out of it before he takes a sip.

“I have something else too.”
Zayn briefly looks at her before raising his brow. “Is it another pun?”  Lara embarrassingly smiles, shaking her head.
“No.”  she searches her packet, taking out a small velvet box. Zayn stares at it before looking up at her. “Uh- I got this for you last year but didn't really get a chance to. . .”  she passes the box in Zayn's direction making him pierce his lips together.

He hesitantly grasps the box turning it around to have a look before opening it. The box opens to reveal a shiny silver bracelet with the letter 'Z' in the middle.
“Lara. . .”  he trails off.

“I thought you'd like it, it's really you.”  she says, glancing up at him nervously. “I can't take this, Lara.”  he slowly says, staring at her sadly. “But Zayn—”

“Lara, I mean it. I respect your emotions and everything around it but I've lost way too much in the past. I know what I want and I can't afford messing up what I've built now. I can't send anymore mixed signals.”

Lara licks her bottom lip slowly and passes him a small smile. “Yeah, it's okay.”  she mumbles, keeping the box right between them. Zayn looks around awkwardly before looking back at her.

“I just wanted to wish you happy birthday.”
“At three in the morning with a fanta and a stick?”
“I hope you know that you're beautiful, Zayn.”

Zayn gulps before looking straight. This was a wrong move.
“Lara, please.”

“I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable or throw you under the yard. If that's what you think,”  Zayn notices the warm look on her face and her chest slowly heaving up and down to hold her breathing pattern, she looks calm.

“I'm happy for you, Zayn. Your father was right. If she makes you happy then I'm no one to come in between.”  she takes a deep breath. “I just want to thank you for the numerous times you've saved me and made my life better when all I've done is messed yours.”

“No one can save you until you want to be saved.”  Zayn replies. “You're strong to come out of that. Give yourself credit.”  Lara smiles slowly.

“You know, I realised something so important this past week.”  Lara ponders loudly as she shifts her feet up on the bench to feel more comfortable. Clutching her knees she cuddles closer.

“That is?”  Zayn frowns.
“Just,”  she hesitates, “Society shapes us into this animal that is greedy for approval you know? Their opinions, their validations. What they expect out of a person my age.”  she stares up at the dark sky, somehow still brighter than her mind. “These universal rules we're expected to follow, that we're trapped in. How much money I make? what I wear? how much I weigh? how much calories I had in a day? It's weird that I'm twenty seven and yet no where close to getting married or settling when some of my friends have had babies and my ex fiancé is getting married,”  she smiles at Zayn who stares at her deeply, trying to comprehend her brain, her words.

“And here I am, trying to fight a man against something I'm sure he'll be proven not guilty off. Why? Because I made out with him? I was his girlfriend? He got me to shop every week on his card?”  she chuckles.

“You'll be happy the day you fan out these obsessions, Lara. That day it won't matter that your dress isn't branded, your hair isn't prefect, how many babies your friends are having or that your ex fiancé is getting married.”  Zayn replies.

“You have to accept that at the end it's only you and your opinion that should matter to you.”

“Yeah?”  she smiles, nodding slowly. “You'll find it, Lara.”
“Sorry?”

Zayn smiles slowly, taking a slow breath in. “Real love,”  he shrugs, “You'll find it.”  he cracks his knuckles before pulling his legs and latching his arms around them before resting his face on his knees.

“I'm ready to have real love,”  Zayn whispers. “The one's that ready for me too. The one I'm confident about, proud of. Definitely not confused in 'what if's' or embarrassed in any way.” he smiles. “The one that sticks by me, I can rely on. Someone that wants me as it is, just like I want them.”  he adds.

“You'll get your chance, Lara. Better grab it.”

“You know, Zayn.”  she breathes slowly. Zayn tilts his head in her direction. “I get it, why you and Crystal work.”

Zayn frowns. “W-why?”
“You don't choose someone you end up with. You know, the way I did. Pointing your finger at a man and deciding. Love and all that jazz, it happens with fate and luck. Spontaneous love is the best.”  she smiles.

“We don't love each other.”  Zayn replies awkwardly making Lara shrug. “Yet.”

Zayn stares at Lara, her hair slowly flying around. She looked normal after years. Her hair not in some updo and her body not in some tight work clothing. She looked at peace and yet Zayn feels nothing. He remembers how she told him that losing Zayn was her biggest fear.

But then she faced her fears and left him. No matter how angry and betrayed Zayn felt then, he was sort of thankful to her. He met Crystal because of that.

And just like Lara, he was ready to meet his fears. A fear he finally knew he overcame. Fear of moving on. A smile appears on his mouth.

“Hey, Lara?”
“Yeah?”

“You're going to fine. Also, thank you.”   he whispers.
“Thanks? For?”
For helping him realise what and how fate works or maybe, truly, you don't decide who you end up with.

Zayn felt it in his bones, he had moved on. “Just, thank you.”

༻❁༺

“Zayn? Wake up. You'll be late.” Zayn musters the energy to open his eyes somehow in the dimly lit room. How he wished he could magically vanish in his bed. He forcefully bats his eyes open to find Crystal staring at him with a frown.

“Get up, will you?”  she asks, turning around and opening the curtains but all she faces is a cloudy sky. “Will it ever be sunny?”  she grumbles inaudibly.

She turns around to face him. “I've made breakfast, it's on the table. Carolina took an off so lock the house and take the key with you. I've to go to the bakery now. Is it okay?”  she asks. Zayn blinks his eyes rapidly, trying to comprehend the words together with sleep clouding his mind.

“Yeah, okay.”  she smiles slowly, before waving and closing the door behind her. Zayn stares at the door with a frown. “So you did forget.”  he whispers before sighing. Half an later, Zayn sits on the dining table and removes the plate Crystal kept on the breakfast. He eats his avocado toast quickly before taking the kettle and pouring in the hot water. Fishing a green tea packet, he sits in silence ever so slowly sipping on his green tea.

The house, extremely quiet if so, mocks him. He sighs slowly, before tightening his tie and putting all the used utensils in the washer and locking the door after he's out. He hates this feeling, he couldn't quite understand how it was humanely possible for Crystal to forget his birthday.

He could scream right now.

He looks to the side to see Martha's yard empty too.
Well. He opens his car door, slamming it behind and moves to the road. This was probably his' shittiest birthday, not like his earlier birthdays were any different,

But this time he actually had expectations. Man, do expectations lead to disappointment.

༻❁༺

“Happy Birthday, Mr. Malik.”  Zayn turns around almost immediately to notice Lacy, as per in her striking pencil skirt and shirt smiling at Zayn. Zayn notices her I-D card loosely dangling around.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”  he smiles, turning back to look at her properly. She takes out the rose from her desk and passes it to him. A smile slaps on Zayn's face yet again. “How'd you remember?”  it was difficult for him to accept that literally everyone knew his birthday except. . . Crystal.

“Sir, I have it in my register and it's literally here.”  she replies, pointing at the wall behind the reception desk that held the employees memorial with their names, occupation and birth date.

“Obviously.”  he chuckles, face-palming himself. “Why thank you.”  Zayn thanks again, turning the pink rose in his hand. The glitter sprinkled on it sticking to his fingers.

“Well I'll be off now.”  he says, turning around to walk away when Lacy interrupts him.
“Actually, Mr. Malder instructed me to let you know about a meeting in the conference room right as you come.”  Zayn frowns, the gears in his head tumbling to recall a meeting of any sort.

“. . . Meeting for?”
“I've no idea. Come I'll drop you there.”  she says, walking around the desk. “Walk me there?” he laughs. “Sweetie, I know where the conference hall is.”

Lacy smiles back. “I've to give you some paperwork since Mr. Abano has been deployed.”  Zayn feels his inside smiling, jumping and almost cartwheeling.
“So, the vacant place will be filled soon.”  she continues. Zayn nods slowly, turning his face to hide the small smile that breaks on his face before leaning his hand in the direction. Lacy smiles before walking behind Zayn, towards the lift.

“So Lacy, how's your brother doing?”  Zayn asks. He recalls the day he met her brother in an office party. He had down syndrome but was probably the most perfect child he ever met. Being about eleven of age his painting skills were exemplary.

“He's good, he was asking when he could meet you next, was saying something about learning sgra– uh sgraf—”

“Sgraffito?”  Zayn asks with a smile. Lacy blushes a little. “Yes, it's some project with this vase.”  Zayn laughs. “I'd love to meet him soon. Maybe after I head back from Bradford?”

“Amazing.”

The lift dings almost a minute later and they walk out on the floor. “It feels like an eternity since I'm back on this floor.” Zayn laughs walking towards the conference hall.

“Why is this whole place empty?”  he frowns, looking around before pushing the doors open.  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”  he almost takes a step back when the voices scream together.

He laughs slowly, trying to remove the confetti from his hair. “Happy birthday to you!”
He awkwardly smiles, still not sure how people act normal when someone sings them the birthday song. Just standing there as fifteen eyes look at you and sing for you. Awkward.

“May your lover miss you, may your fiancé kiss you! Happy birthday, happy birthday.”  Zayn frowns almost immediately. “Lord, don't include me in these basic early twenties shít.”

Everyone laughs almost immediately as he walks in, totally giving up on removing the confetti now. A crowd of employees rush towards him passing him the same pink rose that Lacy gave him till he had a bundle of pink roses and his hands and coat sleeves covered in glitter sprinkles.

Jason passes him a smile. “You're gift will be at your house by tonight. It was due before but I thought I'll give it as a birthday present from our organisation.”

“Thank you, sir.”  Zayn replies. He cuts through the small cake, taking out the piece before turning around to faces but then with a smirk stuffs it in his mouth instead and if that isn't most Zayn thing then the place doesn't know what is.

༻❁༺

“Are you drunk?”  Zayn scrunches his eyes together when he hears his mother scream. “Mum—”

“Is that a car horn? Zayn Malik are you driving?”  she gasps, “While you're drunk?!”  Zayn almost regrets connecting his call with the car speaker because now he could hear his mother screaming from all directions.

A horror movie worthy.

“Mum, I was with friends. Nothing too much just a sip or two.”  he wasn't lying. Zayn Malik, that is him, wasn't drinking for a very long time now after the incidents that followed. “You're going home now?” 

“Yes, ma'am.”  he chuckles, taking a left and entering his street. “So what did Crystal do?” Trisha asks excitedly. Zayn pierces his lips together, what was he supposed to answer? She forgot? Hasn't wished him yet? It's seven in the night already.

“Uh. . . Yeah, a lot. I'm home I'll talk to you.”  he says, pressing the brakes furiously and hanging up. Stretching his neck he looks to the side to see the lights on. Exiting the car he opens his back door to take out the gifts but then stops, slamming the door again.

No way is he giving any idea to Crystal.

Opening the main gate, he stands on the porche, switching on the lights as the sky turns dark and so does the surrounding. London was so dark yet so bright. He presses the bell.

“Wait a minute!”  he hears her shout. Sighing slightly he turns around to see Martha come out of her house with her purse.
“Oh Zayn, how are you sweetie? Happy birthday.”  she says, smiling. Zayn passes her a small smile. How in the hëll does everyone know his birthday?

“Thank you.”  he mouths. Passing another warm smile, Martha opens her main gate and continues down the street. Zayn presses the bell again.
A good minute later he sees Crystal peek from behind the door. “It's just you.”  she laughs, opening the door.

“I was taking a shower.”  she continues, her hair clutched in a plastic wrap. Zayn notices his hoodie on her, wet spots at some areas. She looked so small in his hoodie, it almost felt weird to him. Nodding, he looks in another direction to distract him.

“How was your day?”
He turns to glance at Crystal, who smiles at him. “Yeah, fine.”
Falling on the couch he stretches a little. “I'm going to sleep.”
“I made noodles for you.”

“Yeah, nice.”  he stands up, brushing past her to climb the steps. “Zayn? Is something wrong?”
“Yeah, no shít.”  he replies, groggily before storming upstairs.

༻❁༺

Slowly sitting on his bed he wraps the duvet around him and sighs. Zayn looks to the side of the bed that is empty. Was it meant to be? Zayn and Crystal? Were they going against fate?

He sighs. It's only sometimes now that Zayn finds himself thinking what if they stayed just friends? What if he never got her a ring after the first meeting, like an idiot.

He closes his eyes slowly. Sadly, or fortunately, there was no going back now. Zayn could never be friends with her again.

Just friends.

Her light brown eyes remind him too much of the nights they slept together huddled in each other's arms as if it was the only place they could find peace to sleep. Probably her smile, that sent shivers down him, the same smile she gave him when their lips separated the first time they kissed.

Even though his mind was filled with thoughts, her lies, their fights, they did mess up but Zayn knew it, it was her or no one now.

__

Ik. Y'all are like this bich just came back after a month to give us this shitàss update. Welp. I'm sorry and apologise to every one who's been sending me constant messages to update or lovely messages of how you love the story.

In all honesty, for the past month i was heartbroken. A lot of people dropped my book in the middle, as a writer, it's hurtful. Secondly, the motivation i received on this book through votes and comments has decreased too and im not a support hungry bítch but the right amount of support just... Idk helps?

Anyway, next chapter will be up in 2-3 days i promise. Thank you sm for reading my book if you're still reading, I'm not sure.

If possible, can you drop in some feedback here? What do you like about this book? What should i change? Anything? Inline - - -   (it'd mean a lot)

See you soon xoxo