This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we′re given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in

Lost in thought, I made my way to my hotel room. Just a few minutes ago I had felt the urgent need for peace and quiet, but now, as I wandered alone through the almost deserted corridor, I was once again overcome by a strange loneliness.

It seemed as if no one could really understand what was going on inside me after yesterday's events. Nevertheless, I knew that I had to deal with the pain and the tormenting feelings of guilt that were still raging inside me on my own somehow.

Sighing, I exited the elevator and made my way purposefully to my room.

"Tsu."

Surprised, I lifted my head and saw Makoto running towards me, obviously relieved to see me.

"Ah, hey!" I greeted him with a mechanical smile. "Were you waiting for me outside my room?"

He nodded reservedly as he stood opposite me. His arms were hidden behind his back, as if he was hiding something from me.

"I...wanted to know how you were doing in the meantime, but you weren't there when I knocked on your door this morning before I went on duty, so I just came back here."

"I'm sorry. I spent the night at Kuina's," I explained curtly.

He nodded in understanding.

"I could almost have guessed that. I hope you're feeling better by now," he wanted to know, but sounded a little unsettled.

"Yes, I'm quite well," I replied quickly, as I still didn't feel much like talking about what had happened. Interested, I looked down at his arms, which were still hidden behind his back. "What's that?" I added a little curiously, trying to catch a glimpse behind him.

"Well..." he hesitated briefly, but then decided to take out the secret object and show it to me. I opened my mouth in surprise when I realized what it was.

"A drawing pad?"

"Yes, and a few pencils. It's nothing special, just what I could get hold of in a hurry."

I frowned in surprise.

"For me?"

"Yes, b-because...I thought because...drawing has always helped you to relax and organize your thoughts," he stammered a little nervously.

His cheeks were a little flushed as he waited for me to take the items.

Despite my gloomy mood, a quiet giggle escaped me when I saw him looking so shy. It was so typical of him and one of the reasons I had fallen head over heels in love with him back then.

"Thank you, that's sweet of you," I said and took the sketchpad and the brown pencil case from him.

His face had now taken on an almost dark red hue, while he scratched the back of his head a little sheepishly.

"You're welcome," he murmured quietly. "And, if you want to talk..."

"...then I know where to find you," I completed his sentence and smiled gently. This time it was a genuine smile.

Makoto returned it and my heart automatically warmed a little. Perhaps I had missed him more than I had wanted to admit.

"There's a note from Hatter on your door, by the way," he said and then turned to the door in question to show me. I followed his gaze to the huge note pinned there and stepped a little closer to read it:

Dear Izumi-san,
Come to my suite as soon as you read this.

Sincerely, Hatter

"What does he want from me again?" I groaned grumpily and tore the note off the door with a quick tug.

"Well, even if you don't like it. You'd better go," Makoto said in a worried tone.

"Or else what? Will he have his lackeys kill me?" I growled and crumpled the paper in my hand, snorting with rage.

"Maybe I wouldn't go that far, but it's better not to upset him. It's probably about your game yesterday. It's the first since you've been here at the Beach, so it's usually seen as some kind of aptitude test."

I really wasn't spared anything. Another person who wanted to talk to me about what happened. Of all the people at the Beach, he was probably the last person I wanted to talk about it. But obviously I had no other choice if I wanted to stay here.

"Fine, I'll venture into the lion's den then, won't I?" I said with a hint of a grin on my lips.

"I have to go back down to the kitchen anyway. Maybe we can meet up again later?" he asked, looking at me expectantly.

"Um, yes, I'll come to you as soon as it's convenient."

That was probably a promise I wouldn't keep, but I didn't want to disappoint him at that moment.

A relieved smile appeared on his lips before we said goodbye, keeping a clear distance from each other. Sometimes it was still strange that we were no longer a couple. Instead, we now had to be friends. Even though the reason I had broken up with him back then no longer existed in Borderland. So maybe this was a chance for us to start over.

From Makoto's reactions, at least, it seemed to be exactly what he'd been hoping for since we'd met here again. The very fact that he had found me some drawing utensils showed me that he was determined to win me back.

However, I was still undecided as to whether I wanted to be won back at all. Now that I had seen how quickly things could end in this world, it certainly wasn't the best idea to give your heart away to someone.

Deep in thought, I touched the golden pendant around my neck and let it slip through my fingers for a moment. Finally, I opened the door to my room to place the things Makoto had brought with him on the table.

♡

When I entered the corridor on the top floor, it was as if I was entering a completely different realm. The walls were paneled with fine reddish-brown wood, probably mahogany, and the floor was covered with shiny parquet. Swanky chandeliers hung from the ceiling, sparkling like a thousand diamonds and brightly illuminating the way to the royal suite.

The wide, ornate double doors that marked the entrance were framed by lush exotic plants. All that seemed to be missing from this scene was someone rolling out a red carpet in front of me, but that would probably require my name to be Hatter.

With every step I took towards the ornate door, the feeling of unease grew inside me. I stared at the intricate carvings adorning the door for some time, unable to raise my hand and knock. Instead, I thought back to my last unpleasant encounter with this man, in which he had squeezed me as if being in an interrogation, not to mention the subliminal attempts at blackmail. Last time I had enough alcohol in my blood to compensate for my nervousness. This time, however, I was completely defenceless against it.

However, I wouldn't be doing myself any favors if I delayed this meeting any longer, so I summoned up all my courage and knocked gently on the solid wood.

Just a few seconds later, the door opened. For a moment, I froze in shock. Standing in front of me was the strange bald man with the striking facial tattoos and the katana, which he was even now carrying on his back. He eyed me suspiciously from top to bottom and an unpleasant shiver ran down my spine. It wasn't even his strange appearance that scared me, but his unpleasant, almost delusional stare.

"So, Hatter summoned me here," I explained, trying to adopt a confident tone. The guy just nodded curtly and then wordlessly stepped aside to let me in.

Had he swallowed his tongue or what?

I hurriedly walked past him, still with a queasy feeling in my stomach. I paused for a moment and waited until Tattoo Face had closed the door behind us again so that he could go ahead and show me the way. I smiled nervously as he eyed me skeptically from the side again, almost as if I was planning to pull a candlestick over his head at any moment. That would be at least the only remotely useful weapon I could make out in this environment.

The corridor had only been a foretaste of what awaited me in the King's suite. The suite spanned the entire floor and literally screamed luxury. Gold ornate lamps, elegant white curtains and mahogany-clad ceilings characterized the overall picture.

Tattoo face led me to an elegant staircase with a marble banister, which led down to an opulent seating area with leather upholstery. He stopped at the top of the stairs. Apparently, I was supposed to go on alone. I nodded tentatively and then clearly felt my pulse quicken as I descended the steps. A little irritated, I looked around the premises. There was no one to be seen. However, I heard something... a protracted moan reached my ears. The voice was unmistakably female and seemed to be coming from the back door, which I quickly realized was only slightly ajar.

Heavens, he hadn't just....

But when I heard a metallic clatter, I was sure that Hatter was anything but ready to receive visitors.

Unpleasantly touched, I turned back to Tattoo Face, who was still standing motionless on the gallery above the stairs with his back turned to me.

"Maybe I'd better come back later. He seems to be busy at the moment," I said hastily and sprinted back up the stairs. But before I knew what was happening to me, Tattoogesicht had snapped out of his stupor, drawn his katana and pressed the sharp blade against my throat. My eyes widened as I backed away from him.

"You will stay," he whispered in a voice that reminded me of the unpleasant sound of fingernails scratching a blackboard.

I raised my hands up a little helplessly.

"Oo-kay, s-sure," I stammered and stumbled backwards down the stairs again.

These people didn't seem to think much of hospitality.

I hesitantly made my way back to one of the sofas and sank into the soft leather cushion, a little frustrated. With such a warm welcome, I could easily do without my polite manners. The moaning and relentless thumping got louder again. If I didn't know any better, I would say that there were at least two female voices coming from the supposed bedroom.

"Mhmmm, that feels good, babe," I now clearly heard Hatter's deep voice. "Don't stop!"

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe that I had to sit here and wait for this ripper to finally finish with his morning session. As if I had nothing better to do than listening to these women slobbering all over him.

Annoyed, I got up and went to the long table that stretched out in front of the window, on which a sumptuous breakfast buffet had been laid out, including an impressive number of alcoholic drinks. The buffet included things I hadn't eaten since I arrived in this world, in particular a huge fruit and vegetable platter, from which I snatched a bunch of grapes and a few strawberries. I sighed softly as the sweet taste spread across my tongue. I had almost forgotten how delicious fresh fruit could be.

"I see you've already settled in with me."

I whirled around in panic and felt my breath catch as a piece of strawberry unexpectedly slipped into my windpipe. I coughed up reflexively.

By the time I had regained my composure, I had tears in my eyes. Hatter was standing in front of me, his robe thrown hastily over his shoulders, revealing his naked upper body to me. To my relief, he was at least wearing his swim shorts under the yukata. However, I could see the smudged remains of red lipstick on his neck and lips.

"You didn't have to wait, Izumi. I'm sure there would have been room for you in the bed," he grinned cockily and plucked a grape to put in his mouth. Admittedly, I found it difficult to hide my reluctant expression and put on a neutral face instead.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm not that into... older men."

I quickly bit my tongue.

Had I really said that out loud?

To my surprise, though, Hatter laughed.

"That hurts me a little, but at least you're honest. I like that," he replied in a light-hearted tone and then made a sweeping gesture towards the sofa. "Why don't we sit down?"

I nodded and settled down on the cold leather again while Hatter poured himself a drink.

"Want something too? I have a wide selection," he offered me generously.

I shook my head quickly. This time I wanted to be on the safe side and keep a clear mind.

"You don't seem to like drinking, do you?" he asked, plopping down on the sofa opposite me with his whisky glass in hand.

"Depends on the situation," I replied vaguely. "But very few people start shortly after breakfast."

"Well, I would have agreed with you if we were still in our world, but here, in this place where every day could be our last, I've got into the habit of enjoying life to the full so that I can die without regrets. Cheers," he raised his glass and toasted me, even though I had nothing to drink myself.

I curled my lips into an affected smile.

"Why did you call me here?" I wanted to know from him. After all, I hadn't come here to have a nice chat with him.

He sighed heavily and then put the glass down on the table in front of him. His expression was now much more serious than before.

"I found out about your game yesterday morning. It was your first since you joined us here at the Beach, so I always have someone among my staff who keeps a special eye on the newcomers and gets an idea of their skills in the games. After all, we don't want to buy a pig in a poke, if you know what I mean."

I nodded silently, because it only confirmed what Makoto had told me before.

"I should probably congratulate you, because you passed the aptitude test. I must say, that was a really nerve-wracking and extraordinary game, if what I've been told is true. It's pretty unlikely for a rank beginner to survive a 8 of hearts game. And then as the tragic main character, too. Oh, I would have loved to have been there," he added with a hint of melancholy and leaned far back into the cushion.

I just bowed my head in shame and tried to fight the raging storm that was brewing inside me. My fingernails involuntarily clawed into my knees and I found it difficult to suppress my true emotions at that moment. I swallowed hard and struggled for words.

The presence of Hatter and the memories of the game triggered an eerie anxiety in me.

I struggled to collect myself.

"I... I didn't know what was coming. I just wanted to survive. The game was terrible. I've sent people to their deaths and seen them die horribly. It's not like I had a choice and I don't think it's something I deserve credit for," I pressed out in a quivering voice.

Hatter scrutinized me for a moment, and a hint of pity glowed in his eyes that I wasn't sure if it was fake or real.

"I understand that, Izumi. Borderland is a ruthless place, and we're all struggling to survive. But you passed the test with flying colors and won the game. Nothing else matters here. Your deeds are forgiven and forgotten."

I snorted contemptuously.

"What exactly do you want from me? Why have you summoned me here? Not just to tell me I've done well, is it?"

I found it difficult to hold back the biting undertone in my voice. Anger simmered subliminally inside me and with every passing second I found it harder to stop it.

"Well, Izumi, as you've probably noticed by now, I'm the one who calls the shots here at the Beach and makes the rules. As your leader, I am always on the lookout for good players, because they are invaluable to our community. After all, the ultimate goal is to complete the deck and return to our world. However, to ensure that my players continue to do a good job, they must of course be rewarded appropriately."

His players. All right.

He paused dramatically, as if hoping for some visible reaction from me. But instead he seemed to be waiting for something completely different. Out of nowhere, a young woman in a skin-tight bikini appeared next to him and settled down on the sofa next to Hatter. She immediately snuggled up close to him while he unabashedly placed his hand on her bottom as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes in annoyance. But then I saw her hand him something - a blue plastic bracelet.

"Thank you, babe," he whispered, tenderly stroking her long reddish hair. She giggled softly and then stroked his hairy chest lovingly. I involuntarily averted my eyes. A little longer and I would probably see my breakfast again today.

"Here's your reward," he held up the plastic bracelet triumphantly before sliding it across the coffee table to me.

"Another bracelet?" I asked, frowning.

"A new one in exchange for the old one. You're moving up a few ranks. Congratulations, Izumi."

He reached for his glass again and swirled the clinking ice cubes back and forth in it. Still a little incredulous, I stared at the bracelet lying on the table in front of me.

"Go ahead," he encouraged me, while the woman at his side let her hands wander to places on his body that I preferred not to name explicitly.

I hesitantly reached for it and looked skeptically at the number printed on the plastic chip.

31.

A number that documented my progress at the beach - an extremely dubious success. I was being honored for something I hated myself for and would have liked to erase from my memory forever. This irony almost made me laugh.

Meanwhile, Hatter seemed to be distracted by the young woman, who remained by his side as if she were a living trophy. My annoyance at this bizzare situation grew. But before I could turn back to Hatter, he snapped me out of my thoughts again.

"I thought that since it was an 8 of hearts game, 8 ranks would be appropriate."

"Thank you," I said reluctantly. I freed myself from the old bracelet, then put the other one on my wrist. The cold, unadorned plastic touching my skin felt like a new shackle, silently condemning me for my past actions and incessantly reminding me of what I would have preferred to bury in the depths of my soul. But in this dark place, I seemed to have no choice but to submit to its rules if I wanted to continue living, no matter how much I was tormented by what I would have to do in the future.

At that moment, I felt the heaviness of my own heartbeat, pounding like a somber melody in my chest. I was torn back and forth. On the one hand, I longed for freedom and independence; on the other, there was the indomitable will to survive that stirred within me as if of its own accord. Life in Borderland seemed to leave me no other choice, even if it meant going against my own principles.

Hatter smiled with satisfaction.

"Very clever, Izumi. You'll soon realize that these ranks mean a lot in our little paradise here. They bring you privileges and power, so keep doing your best to push yourself forward."

"How exciting," I remarked with a hint of cynicism. "Is there anything else you want from me?"

He let his gaze drift to me thoughtfully.

"Well, I think that's all, my dear," he said, completely unconcerned, but his attention was quickly back on his female companion, who seemed to be sticking to him like chewing gum and leaving her love marks on his neck.

"Well, I'll be going now. Thank you for the conversation and the... reward," I said, stood up abruptly and hurried out of the room without waiting for an answer.

The tightness that had gripped me in Hatter's presence wouldn't let go. I just wanted to get away from this strange and unsettling atmosphere. Tattoo Skull stared after me with a sinister look, but this time it didn't stop me from leaving the royal suite behind me.

With quick steps, I returned to my hotel room, which seemed like a safe haven for a moment. I was relieved to have escaped this absurd encounter with Hatter and his company.

I hurriedly closed the door behind me and took a deep breath. At last I could relax in my familiar surroundings again. Or at least relax as much as was possible in this world.

My feet almost automatically carried me to the table, where the drawing pad I had left there earlier was still lying. When I picked it up, I looked at it thoughtfully. Maybe Makoto was right. Drawing could help me to take my mind off the terrible events, at least temporarily. But this dark room was not the right place for that. I longed for brightness and peace, for a place that would inspire my creativity. But where could I find such a place in this hotel? The pool facilities were nowhere near as crowded at this time of day as they were in the evening, but there were still too many people there for my liking. But then I remembered something.

Determined, I grabbed my drawing materials and then left my room almost in a hurry to get to the elevator. Once there, I pressed the top button in the row. The elevator rattled into motion. When the doors opened again with a soft bing, I was immediately hit by a pleasant warm breeze. I took an involuntary deep breath and a harmonious calm immediately spread through me. I looked around the roof of the hotel and was pleased not to see a soul. It was the ideal place to sort out my thoughts and clear my head.

A gust of wind came up and tugged at my hair. Admittedly, it was perhaps a little windy up here, but even so, as I stood on the edge of the building, I was so overwhelmed by the sight that I could barely keep my mouth shut. The view that stretched out before me like a panorama surpassed even the view from Kuina's balcony. The wind carried the calming sound of the sea to me and even the music coming from the pools below was just a faint whisper in the distance from here.

Without much hesitation, I settled down on the edge of the roof, my legs dangling over the low wall, my gaze still fixed on the intense blue of the sea. The wind on my skin felt like a gentle caress, which immediately soothed my mind a little after the strange encounter earlier. For a brief moment, I felt a sense of inner peace that I hadn't felt in a long time. But my thoughts quickly drifted back to the bloody scenes and the fear-filled voices in my head. The echoes of the dead lingered in my mind for a long time, as if their spirits wanted me to remember them forever. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and tried to cover my ears, but the screams were too loud to stop them.

With trembling hands, I reached for my drawing pad and pencil, ready to finally distract myself to chase away the gloomy shadows. I stared at the blank page for minutes, pencil already in hand, ready to immerse myself in the art, but my mind was suddenly as blank as the white rectangle in front of me. But then I simply decided to let my intuition and my feelings guide me.

The pen scratched lightly across the rough paper. My hand began to mindlessly scribble on the paper, lines and shapes with no clear meaning. I tried to guide the pen without thinking. But after a while, my consciousness found a direction and I realized that I had drawn him. The details were amazingly precise: his smug smile, his intense eyes and the fine lines of his striking features. I froze at the sight and felt an uncontrollable anger rise within me.

Why him of all people?
Why did he have to haunt my thoughts once again?

"Just get out of my head," I cursed.

Angrily, I crumpled the sheet of paper in my hand, the lines and shadows of Chishiya faded and became a tangled ball that I thoughtlessly tossed aside.

With a deep sigh, I put the drawing pad beside me and went back to staring at the vast blue sea in front of me while another gust of wind came up.

However, a soft rustling sound made me stop immediately. The paper ball next to me had started moving and was rolling down the wall. I wheeled around and tried to catch it in time, but it was faster and the wind carried it further over the roof. I managed to grab hold of the ledge just in time before I started to sway dangerously. When I looked up again, my eyes widened in horror.

A person in a white jacket had just stepped onto the roof. The ball of paper rolled merrily on and stopped right at his feet. My heart almost stopped at the sight.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" I screamed hysterically. But before my words had even died away, Chishiya was already bending down to grab it. At that moment, my arms gave out and I lost my balance.