Katsuki Bakugou

"We need to talk."

Izuku went back to being quiet after his meltdown yesterday. All-day today he has been avoiding conversation and staring off blankly.

I spent all last night in a restless sleep, my mind clouded with dreams of our younger selves. When I woke up with Izuku watching me from his bed, for a moment I felt myself let my guard down. I never noticed before how gentle his eyes were.

I had to quickly shake those thoughts away and slam that gate back up around my heart, there was no way I would let my memories break down the shell I built around me to protect myself.

Izuku's eyes flickered to me for a quick second when I spoke before darting back to whatever he was staring at. He never held my gaze for long and I was thankful, after waking up to his round doe eyes watching me I shoved all those fluttering feelings deep down and plan to keep them away.

This mate pull was going to be the death of me.

"What do we need to talk about?" His voice was steady, too steady, and made me narrow my eyes at him, trying to figure out what was going on inside his head. Yesterday when he started talking about wanting to die, it made me worry for him. I didn't want him to die -- I just didn't want to be his mate.

"About what happened yesterday, and about what we are going to do about us being mates." I could barely say the word without it causing me to grimace and grit my teeth. I hated saying the word, it made too real when that stupid warmth would pool in my stomach. Nevertheless, I had made up my mind that the best way to do this would be for us both to agree on a path to take so Izuku could get better and I could break the bond.

He was quiet for a while and as I watched him. I could see him struggling with himself. Emotions flickered through his eyes and morphed his soft features until he settled a calm expression - guarded. His face was only showing mild discomfort and worry now and I sighed.

"Okay." His voice was barely a whisper but I could still hear him. I inhaled deeply and leaned back on the sofa while I watched Izuku. He sat stiffly in the loveseat across from me and still wouldn't look me in the eyes. I knew that this all has been hard on him. I just wished I understood why he looked like he had been run over by a truck. I didn't get sick or lose weight from us being apart -- so why did he?

"I guess, the first thing I want to know is why are you so sick? How long have you been like this?" I shifted and crossed my legs, getting comfortable while still trying to get the point across that I was serious about this conversation. Izuku swallowed thickly and shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about that -- " Shaking my head I sat up straightened and leaned forward some, catching his attention and making his eyes flicker to me in confusion. I could see the curious look behind his shut-off expression and it made me uncomfortable. It seemed that was all I have been feeling lately when around Izuku. It was like the two sides of me had been fighting against each other constantly. The hurt kid vs. the mated Alpha who wanted to comfort the Omega a few feet away from me.

"Well, you have to." I spat but sighed when I watched Izuku shoot a glare at me. It has me trying t relax and come at this from a gentle angle. I grind my teeth together.

"You don't have to," I clarify. "But I would really like to know. Something's got to give here, we can't keep on going at each other's throats and I can't help that I don't want this mating to happen. So, we really need to talk about this."

His eyes scanned me for a while as his face relaxed. He looked to be deep in thought and although I wanted to speed this up, I couldn't seem to break him out of his deep pondering. I studied his face as his eyes dart around absentmindedly while in thought. However, my staring doesn't last long because Izuku suddenly stood up and walked over to me before sinking softly onto the cushions -- but on the far end of the sofa instead of next to me.

I watched him carefully and felt that unwelcome warmth that quickly filled my body at his proximity. I could tell he felt it too because his body seemed to relax and he let out a silent sigh as his face relaxed into a softer expression.

"Do you feel that too?" His voice was quiet still, almost as if he had been afraid to say something and set me off. I frowned but decided to take my own advice and answer him.

"Yeah, it's the mate pull." I looked over at him as he closed his eyes and sat in silence. He looked to be lost in his thoughts for a second before he exhaled slowly and closed his eyes.

"I was really scared that night -- B - Bakugou..." He spoke my last name with a stutter that told me he was not used to using it or thinking about me as anything other than Katsuki. I sighed when I remembered how I had yelled at him for calling me by my first name. It seemed that's all I have been doing, yelling or putting him down since I got here.

"After...everything happened... and my heat passed, I was left confused and angry. I was so angry... I was angry that I found out you were my mate, I was angry, I still am angry, at myself for my lack of self-control when I... umm yeah... Anyways, I held onto that anger for a while. It took me almost a year for me to get over how upset I was over the whole situation and begin to accept it for what it was."

He paused for a moment and I sat still and silent, almost afraid to say something that might make him shut down again. This was the most he has spoken since I showed up a week ago. I waited for him to continue, my stomach twisting in knots as he recounted that night.

"I eventually got over it and although I didn't like the act that we were mates, I began to accept it and try to live my life and do the best I could in hopes... well, in hopes that one day I would have made something out of myself and be worthy of... you." His eyes squeezed shut and he shook his head before continuing.

"My friends were amazing and they helped me through everything. Although I was doing better for a while, my heats still caused me a lot of trouble. I hated going into heat, it doesn't matter, I just was weak and I hated feeling out of control. It made me feel like how I did that night." Swallowing, I turned my body to face him as he kept talking. I was unaware as to why he had been telling me all this, but I had a feeling he needed to get this off his chest, so I let him keep on.

"I never enjoyed being your mate, okay? It wasn't like I was living the best life here away from you and my family for 4 years. My body started getting weaker the longer I was away from you. When you turned 18 my health started spiraling. I wouldn't have lived if it weren't for my friends, it got really bad they thought I would die." His eyes darkened and I watched his expression twist with a sadness that I had started to hate seeing on his face. His hands balled up into little fists that made me want nothing more than to reach over and take them into my palms to smoothe them out and ease his stress.

However, I sat still and waited for him to work through it on his own. He does quickly and took a deep breath before sighing it out. I wondered where his friends were if they had been taking care of him for so long?

"Basically, all you need to know is that I have hated myself and been angry with this situation for too long. It took me a year to come to terms with it, so I am not too shocked that you are so angry with the news. I know I am not much of a mate. I am older than you and not the best looking, but I never stopped caring for you..." I could hear his heart begin thumping harder in his chest and his cheeks turn a soft shade of pink that has me staring at him intensely. Although I hated to admit it, he was quite stunning. Even when he was underweight and sick, he had a softness to him mixed with this hue of beauty that I had been getting glimpses of over this past week.

"I want to ask you for -- a favor. I know you don't owe me anything after everything I did, but still..." He shrugged his shoulders and for the first time in this whole conversation, he turned and faced me, his eyes showed a vulnerability in them that I hadn't seen since that first day when I knocked on his door and about rejected him.

Taking a deep breath I watched as he methodically fiddled with his fingers and his body shivered once as he waited for my response. I wanted to say no to him -- to tell him that there was nothing I could do for him, but I knew it was a lie. I had a feeling that my Alpha was already becoming attached to him and would fight me tooth and nail if I did not grant his request.

I didn't know why I believed the story that he told me, but I did. He had no real reason to lie to me about his own suffering, and by the looks of him, it was true that he had been sick from being away from me. I loathed the guilt that a small fact like that brought me.

"It depends on the favor." His eyes lit up a little and my heart stops as his lips pulled back some over his teeth and he smiled at me. The smile wasn't full yet it made my palms break out in a sweat and had a warmth pooling in my stomach; it rippled and expanded.

"Okay," He breathed a sigh of relief and I had to hold myself back from groaning at his small but bright smile. Screwing my jaw shut, I held back any sounds from escaping as I mentally cursed this mate pull that had me reacting to the Omega beside me.

"I wanted to ask if you could do something for me... Because it took me so long to come to terms with the mate bond, I know what it feels like to be angry and not want it... I want to ask if you would just give me a chance... Give me a month to change your mind about us being mates. I will do whatever I can to make the past up to you, but if you reject me you won't ever know if this could have worked out."

His deep green eyes were locked with mine as he made his case, and for once, I was speechless. His eyes had me mindlessly trailing my gaze lower and watching his mouth curve and dip as he spoke. His pink tongue would dart out to wet his lips and his nose crinkled as he pleaded with me to give him some time to win me over.

Before I could think of a reply, he cut me off and my eyes flickered back to his lips before I ripped myself away from that dangerous place and looked back to his eyes. However, his eyes were not any safer than his lips it seemed because I was just as hooked on them as well.

Can I do that? Can I give him a month to try and win my affections? Shouldn't it be the alpha who chases the omega? This seems backwards and nontraditional and once again has me feeling uncomfortable, but I don't decline automatically as I thought I would.

"Give me a chance. One month, that's it. If by the end of the month, you still want to break the bond, I won't fight you on it. I swear --"

His lip rolled nervously between his teeth and his eyes shone with just a tiny bit of hope that made me almost cower, afraid to stomp out those flames that I haven't seen in so long. There was no way that I could fall in love with him. We never had romantic feelings towards each other back then; I was a child. I never saw him as anything more than a brother. A friend.

"One month?" I found myself asking and I mentally kicked myself when his eyes lit up even more while his lip was suddenly released from between his white teeth. A smile pulled at the corners of his plump lips and I ignored the way my eyes kept picking out those details in Izuku's face. I shook my head in defeat.

"Yes! One month, but you have to try! You can't just shut me out, it won't be fair... You have to at least let me get to know you and spend time together... But one month, that's all I ask." His face faltered for a second before he tried his hardest to hold his fear from showing. However, I was an Alpha -- and he is my mate. 

I could smell the doubt on him as well as the hope and nervousness that leaked heavily from his scent glands.

"If I agree, you have to come back to my place for a few weeks. I have my friends there who will be worried about me if I am gone for a month." My mind wandered back to Denki and for a moment I was filled with worry and guilt as I knew how attached he had got to me. Knowing that I haven't scented him or the others in over a week had me feeling like a shitty Alpha and friend.

"Y-Your pack?" Izuku mumbled, perceptive as ever, and he watched me with soft eyes. His curiosity was burning in those green orbs. I swore I saw a spark of excitement as well before it flashed away.

"That's the plan at least. Anyways..." I shook my head, telling him to drop it; it was not something I wanted to discuss with him. In one month he would either defy all odds and win my affection, or I would be mateless and going home to my pack. He doesn't need to worry about my pack when our future is undecided.

"Anyways... So, that's my request... Give me a month, I will go back with you so you can see your family and friends. I will just need a few days to let my friends know what's going on, I can take work with me... You will give me a chance, right? You won't just push me away and ignore me?"

Izuku scooted closer to me and his thigh brushed up against mine, making me stiffen as those annoyingly lovely jolts of pleasure shot through me. I watched him ludicrously but with a little fear from how my own body screamed at me to embrace him -- to kiss him -- to take him. 

My instincts pad my mind pacing with excitement from how close my mate was. This little spark of contact had me heated.

"Y-Yeah..."Since when did I stutter?!

My voice sounded too weak and breathless and I watched a small grin play on Izuku's lips. His own cheeks heated up as he leaned back some and removed his point of contact, leaving me to breathe a sigh of relief but also, and annoyingly so, feeling empty without those jolts of pleasure from his touch.

"Yeah?" Izuku asked with a smile and I find myself nodding my head.

"One month -- That is it!" My warning was for both of us. I didn't plan on this working out for us. We both knew little to nothing about each other and with our past, it would take longer than a month just to work past the baggage loaded to our 'relationship'.

However, when Izuku's eyes twinkled with delight and his head tilted with an adorable flop of his curls, I found myself almost cursing under my breath. I might not know him very well or even like him, but one thing was for sure. He was beautiful and had me thinking it might not be the mate pull that has me noticing his many amazing features.

Izuku's hands fold in his lap as he obviously struggles to not leap at me for an embrace, I am grateful but can't help but crave his warmth up against me again. He smiles and breaths out happily.

"That's all I need." I startled and looked at him. Determination being the one thing I saw in those seafoam eyes before I looked away and wondered what the hell I have just gotten myself into.