Levi had life figured out. No stressful corporate job, no grueling night shifts, no boss breathing down his neck. Just a quiet, simple existence running his mother's tea shop. He got to spend his days surrounded by the scent of steeping leaves, the rhythmic clinking of porcelain, the warmth of a routine that suited him. Isabel and Furlan lived nearby, dropping in to pester him at will. Hange, Erwin, and the rest of his high school friends were still around, still finding ways to pull him into conversations he didn't ask for. Life was stable. Predictable. Peaceful.

Until they started again.

Kuchel had long since given up trying to convince her son to marry. Years of nudging, hinting, and outright pleading had gotten her nowhere. So she switched tactics. This time, she sent Kenny.

Levi should have seen it coming.

The conversation had barely started when it turned into a battlefield.

"You're the last one, kid. Get a woman and a brat."

Levi, unimpressed, took a slow sip of tea. "I'm not the last one. There are plenty of people in our family popping out kids real eagerly."

His mind drifted to her—the new addition to the extended family. Mikasa. Cold, quiet, annoying. Always staring, always clinging to her parents like she had a death grip on them. She was a brat, just like the rest of them.

Kenny wasn't done. He leaned in, grinning like he was waiting for a fight. "Maybe you don't have it in you. Maybe you're not man enough 'cause your old man wasn't around."

Levi's fingers twitched against his cup. A hit below the belt. A cheap one. Fine. If Kenny wanted to fight dirty, Levi could bury him.

"If you're so obsessed with continuing the bloodline, why didn't you do it? Aren't you man enough? Wait—" Levi's eyes flicked up, sharp as a blade. "You're gay."

Kenny choked. The tea shop fell silent.

And just like that, the uncle-nephew exchange nearly escalated into an all-out brawl. Kenny lunged. Levi stood. Kuchel, accustomed to this particular brand of Ackerman idiocy, swiftly got between them before someone flipped a table.

Levi sat back down, scowling. Stupid conversation. Stupid argument.

But later, when the tea had gone cold and the shop was empty, the words still stuck in his mind.

The kind of people in our family...

Kenny—borderline insane. Mikasa—strangely intense. Her father—too cheerful. His grandfather—serious to the point of lifelessness. His mother—probably the only sane one. Hell, even he wasn't exactly normal. Something was up with this bloodline.

And then, a thought. A ridiculous, impulsive thought.

What if I got a brat...

Not from this blood.

Not one of them.

Would that shut them up? Would it prove a point? How hard could it be, anyway? Having a kid was just... providing food, shelter, and basic survival, right? That was manageable.

Levi let out a slow breath, drumming his fingers against the table.